Lying on a job application (teenager)

sizzle92

I love how the responses basically defending my step son are almost his age or a tad over;)

sizzle92

It's clear from the original post that you already believe it's wrong. But you asking here just makes it appear that you want everyone to agree with you so you don't feel like the "bad guy" for not helping him out. Which means you actually aren't comfortable with the decision, or you wouldn't be seeking validation. If you were completely and totally solid in your belief that it was wrong to lie for him, you wouldn't be asking strangers their opinion.

Not true. Some of us had a slow Friday and were looking for a debate. games chit chat ............

JDUR19

I am laughing at a couple of things here......good to know all those adopted people out there can use the people that raised them as job references simply because they aren't blood line.......and I find it even more hilarious that people say to just do it even though my dss has MANY family friends to use. Family friends don't raise my dss. I do. Big difference.

My husband and I agree. So I got my Friday afternoon fun.

If you think you're doing it right, then why are you asking us? Get a grip. Why do you care what we think?

ScatteredThoughts

It's clear from the original post that you already believe it's wrong. But you asking here just makes it appear that you want everyone to agree with you so you don't feel like the "bad guy" for not helping him out. Which means you actually aren't comfortable with the decision, or you wouldn't be seeking validation. If you were completely and totally solid in your belief that it was wrong to lie for him, you wouldn't be asking strangers their opinion.

Not true. Some of us had a slow Friday and were looking for a debate. games chit chat ............

I believe the proper term for that is "trolling"..

sizzle92

It's clear from the original post that you already believe it's wrong. But you asking here just makes it appear that you want everyone to agree with you so you don't feel like the "bad guy" for not helping him out. Which means you actually aren't comfortable with the decision, or you wouldn't be seeking validation. If you were completely and totally solid in your belief that it was wrong to lie for him, you wouldn't be asking strangers their opinion.

Not true. Some of us had a slow Friday and were looking for a debate. games chit chat ............

I believe the proper term for that is "trolling"..

Aha so a discussion about views on a subject is now trolling? Um ok. Might wanna check your online dictionary.

sizzle92

And if you all notice in my OP...I already gave *my* view point/decision. I wasn't searching for parental advice. Like I said....a discussion.

Oh I'm such a hairy troll!

oregonzoo

I do hope you realize, fib or not he isn''t all bad. Atleast he isn't some lazy bum who won't get a job.

macpatti

And if you all notice in my OP...I already gave *my* view point/decision. I wasn't searching for parental advice. Like I said....a discussion.
Oh I'm such a hairy troll!

Yes, but then you laughed at those comments that were different. I think you also insulted them because of their age. You wanted validation that what you did was what others would have done. But, whatever- this is re chit cht section on an Internet site.

sizzle92

I wasn't looking for validation at all.

sizzle92

And yes, seeing an 18 year old give her view point was amusing to me. My dss is 17 1/2.

sizzle92

I do hope you realize, fib or not he isn''t all bad. Atleast he isn't some lazy bum who won't get a job.

You think you need to tell me my kid isn't "all bad"? I know he is awesome. I also know he quite lazy and unmotivated and doesn't even want a job. *shrug* (doesn't mean he isn't brilliant and talented in other areas....but you can't tell me what my dss is)

sizzle92

I should add he is VERY honest. It's my bio son that is the little liar. :laugh: HE will be the politician. :drinker:

cheercoach80

I wouldn't lie for my daughters, but that's my personal opinion. We have a no lying policy here as well and that would actually be grounds for losing cell phones....

sizzle92

I wouldn't lie for my daughters, but that's my personal opinion. We have a no lying policy here as well and that would actually be grounds for losing cell phones....

^^^This is the kind of reply I was looking for (as well as many others on this thread....simple view point). But hearing people give me parenting advice and telling me I'm a **** bag parent that doesn't help my kid was really ignorant. Yet *I* am the troll.

texaricangirasol

This is sad...If his mother was an alcoholic, then he has had enough abuse/neglect in his life. You are not his mother, you are the lady that married his father.

Adopted parents are very different and still, biological parents will always be your parents. He has a father and he should be the one talking to him about this situation not you, that does not help your relationship with the child. Even if at some point the child calls you "mom" that does not mean you stop being his father's wife.

I don't think this is about the job application, but that he labeled you as a '"family friend". There may be more here than you are willing to say, but i recommened going to some counseling (individual and family) and reading up on the difficulties of blending a family (parent/step-parent and child relationships).

Good Luck to you and your step-son.

And like most have been saying, they do not call references unless something is off.

oregonzoo

I do hope you realize, fib or not he isn''t all bad. Atleast he isn't some lazy bum who won't get a job.

You think you need to tell me my kid isn't "all bad"? I know he is awesome. I also know he quite lazy and unmotivated and doesn't even want a job. *shrug* (doesn't mean he isn't brilliant and talented in other areas....but you can't tell me what my dss is)

I actually meant this as a compliment. You really seem to be lashing out at people a bit.
If you want healthy debate that's fine and dandy, but put on your big girl pants and get prepared for responses you don't particularly care for.

sizzle92

This is sad...If his mother was an alcoholic, then he has had enough abuse/neglect in his life. You are not his mother, you are the lady that married his father.

Adopted parents are very different and still, biological parents will always be your parents. He has a father and he should be the one talking to him about this situation not you, that does not help your relationship with the child. Even if at some point the child calls you "mom" that does not mean you stop being his father's wife.

I don't think this is about the job application, but that he labeled you as a '"family friend". There may be more here than you are willing to say, but i recommened going to some counseling (individual and family) and reading up on the difficulties of blending a family (parent/step-parent and child relationships).

Good Luck to you and your step-son.

And like most have been saying, they do not call references unless something is off.

:laugh: That's all I got here.

Go eat people. Seriously. I'm done now. This place never ceases to amaze me.

sweetchildomine

You know what I find interesting? I'm pretty sure every single one of you guys told your kids that Santa Claus was coming on Christmas Eve and that the shot at the dr is just going to hurt "a little bit". How many times have you told your husband that you will be ready "in a minute"? All lies. You've already been teaching your kids to lie from the minute they were born. lol

You know what I was doing everyday during the summer when I was 17? Sitting in my best friend's garage getting drunk and smoking weed. lol The idea of getting a job never even crossed my mind. The only time I got up was to go drive around and throw water balloons at random people or sneak into my boyfriend's bedroom...but hey, at least I didn't lie!!!!!

michelleindeed

...
I don't think this is about the job application, but that he labeled you as a '"family friend".
...

That's what I got out of it.