Shallow men.....

kimad

I agree with most of the comments here, we all have our preferences..

but this is an interesting thing I have noticed over my weight loss journey..... it is MEN who tell me to stop losing weight, not women. I am currently 161ish lbs and personally feel I need to lose some more weight (gross twin tummy) but it is the MEN who are commenting. That does say something too I think....

ETA: I also think confidence goes along way. I personally didn't have confidence when I was heavier, but I know women and men who do and they rock it. I tried to talk with a guy online who had NO self confidence. He was cute but he was such a turn off that way.

sandiegosummer

I have been on all sides of this debate. Personally, I have been looked over b/c I am 20 lbs overweight and have a an hour glass figure and i have been adored for those same things..b/c people have different types of attraction. I think it's just a human trait to focus more on the times you weren't considered attractive than the times you were so I have been prone to the whole - ug men are such dogs and so shallow" thoughts

But I have to be honest, I am "shallow" too. I am not attracted to short men or skinny men ... and I have turned down plenty of nice guys for those "shallow reasons"

I think that at the end of the day you need to be the type of person you want to meet. If you want to meet a great person you need to be the best version of yourself. And if being healthy is a value of yours then being "the best version" means being healthy as well as confident, kind, successful or whatever your other values are. And being the best version doesn't have to center on weight at all! I know plenty of amazing overweight people who are in healthy relationships with great people.

while you are on that journey to become the best person you can be, fake it to you make it and act with all the confidence as if you have already reached your goals.

LadyIvysMom

When I met my now husband, I was a model. Over the years I have gained and lost weight but recently, I skyrocked from 120 to 160 in 3 months due to some medication. My husband could care less what I look like. He didn't marry me to be with a skinny chick. He married me because we have fun together and generally make each others lives better.

Not all men are shallow.

sksummers61

There are alot of attributes that make a woman attractive, a "little" extra weight isn't a complete turn off to me, but obese is, don't feel like that makes me shallow, it's just my preference.

NormalSaneFLGuy

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.


I would date someone 30lbs heavy, that's fine, w/e. Weight fluctuates or maybe she was injured or on meds.. like really. w/e.
I, however, wouldn't date soemone 70lbs overweight because obviously we have very different lifestyles, aspirations, and goals. Why would I date someone that doesn't fit my life? If I was still 70lbs overweight, I would date someone 70lbs overweight because obviously we can eat together. AT 70lbs overweight, I wouldn't date a skinny person because they obviously want to move too much.

rml_16

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

DontStopB_Leakin

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

Don't act like what he said is grossly incorrect.

rml_16

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

Don't act like what he said is grossly incorrect.

I can think of three people off the top of my head in my own life who do not fit that description. And I can also speak from experience that my current weight is not a result of poor eating or lack of exercise.

I'm not saying it doesn't apply to a lot of people. I'm saying you can't paint a broad brush because you know one person who fits the stereotype.

DontStopB_Leakin

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

Don't act like what he said is grossly incorrect.

I can think of three people off the top of my head in my own life who do not fit that description. And I can also speak from experience that my current weight is not a result of poor eating or lack of exercise.

I'm not saying it doesn't apply to a lot of people. I'm saying you can't paint a broad brush because you know one person who fits the stereotype.

Yea, because 3 people is so much more than just one.

Half the population, if not more, of my city fits that stereotype. I'm pretty sure it's right on the money.

NormalSaneFLGuy

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

Don't act like what he said is grossly incorrect.

I can think of three people off the top of my head in my own life who do not fit that description. And I can also speak from experience that my current weight is not a result of poor eating or lack of exercise.

I'm not saying it doesn't apply to a lot of people. I'm saying you can't paint a broad brush because you know one person who fits the stereotype.

As I said, FIRST LINE, it doesn't apply to everybody. I just said most.

Edit: And I used her as an example. I can think of 50 more without even trying.

DontStopB_Leakin

I know stereotypes don't apply to everybody.... but they usually apply to most...

ex\ Stereotype - fat people eat a lot, don't work out a lot, sleep and sit around a lot, and eat lots of take-out

My sister - 240lbs... eats bigger portions than I did when I was fatter, never works out, likes to sit around, and loves to eat take-out

Stereotype - fat people aren't into sports

My sister - she like bowling; I stand corrected.

So your sister, who is one person, represents "most people"? Interesting.

Don't act like what he said is grossly incorrect.

I can think of three people off the top of my head in my own life who do not fit that description. And I can also speak from experience that my current weight is not a result of poor eating or lack of exercise.

I'm not saying it doesn't apply to a lot of people. I'm saying you can't paint a broad brush because you know one person who fits the stereotype.

As I said, FIRST LINE, it doesn't apply to everybody. I just said most.

Edit: And I used her as an example. I can think of 50 more without even trying.

Derp Derp. Reading r hard...

wolfpack77

We all have our requirements. Who are you to judge somebody else based on the importance of their requirements? If you're into categorizing and labeling people, theres a word for that too.