Do you think there's a masculinity crisis in America?

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  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Yes. My ex was so passive. He was one of those guys who doesn't want to discuss problems in a relationship...so he just lied about things being okay and treated me like crap, until I initiated the break up conversation in which HE broke up with me. I'd have expected him to at least check in and see how I was doing, but nope, haven't heard from him since. Don't know if he's waiting for me to initiate, but I'm not doing it. That's his job. The man is supposed to lead.
  • ubuntufav
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    OMFG (and I have never before used that acronym in my life) - I think I have lost brainpower reading this thread. Apparently the OP has created his own definition of "HIPSTER" and this WHOLE THREAD WAS REALLY CREATED FOR THE OP TO EXPRESS HIS HATRED OF "HIPSTERS, " whatever the heck that even means anymore.

    According to the OP anyone who talks about recycling, organic food, "flowers" (what does that even mean?), reads, drinks water, talks about buying local, is against using hormones in food animals and is against child labor is a "hipster." And according to his friend, whose various posts express a viewpoint that makes me wonder if suffragettes and other women who fought for equal rights are rolling in their graves, "hipsters" are men who have long beards and go barefoot and wear rumpled clothing - and these things somehow are "girly."

    Oh - forgot to add that anyone who is against multinational corporations is also a "hipster."

    Actually it wasnt, it was about my guy friends who get pushed over and ran all over. Somewhere down the line hipsters were brought up and yes I dont like them and its ok not to but I do agree with many of the things they believe in but im not an *kitten* about it. Not everyone likes them. Tv shows and comedians make fun of them all the time. Its because they are arrogant idiots, at least all the ones ive met. Im sure there are some nice ones but where are they? IN many ways, im a hipster, I listen to real indie rock like Sigur Ros, independent thinking, I dont follow trends, I recycle, dont believe in child labor, dont believe in modern medicine, read alot, not a follower, believe in buying local but I dont bash others for buying from big corps, volunteer alot, wants to preserve nature, loves art and culture. The difference is, Im not an *kitten* to those who are dont believe in those things. I do what I do and dont push my beliefs on others and attack people. True hipsters dont even refer themselves as hipsters. They just live the life happily in peace without trying to seen as trendy or part of the group.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    I think there is a douche bag crisis in America.
  • thelittlefox
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    This thread is ****ing horrifying.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
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    A real woman does not bully her man or manipulate him. A real woman embraces her femininity. A real woman wears dresses, makeup, and pretty shoes when appropriate ( to do otherwise is not "self expression" it is disrespect). A real woman is not afraid to let her man take care of her the way he should. A real woman doesn't sleep around and try men on for size. A real woman is modest. A real woman treats men with respect. A real woman is not a door mat, she does not let everyone walk all over her, but neither does she walk over others.

    Now, I agree with the bullying part and manipulating part only because if you really care about each other - none of that would be necessary. But, that whole part about a real woman "wears dresses, makeup, and pretty shoes when appropriate" being disrespectful is just way, way too out there for me. I think you're stereotyping. I don't see men running around wearing foundation, eye shadow, and eye liner (unless they are part of a fad) so I think it's wrong to say we "have" to wear this stuff. Personally, I think that a natural woman is just as beautiful as someone with a painted face on them. I want the man I love to be attracted to me - not to some artificial construct.

    Basically, what you're talking about in the other section is just being civil, standing up for oneself, and treating each other with respect. I'm all for that.

    BACK TO THE TOPIC - MASCULINITY IN AMERICA

    But, I do think there is more to the role of manhood than dress. It's the way a man holds himself up with confidence. A sense of security you get and a feeling that no matter what - even in the sign of danger - you'll be safe. A manly man is confident, intelligent, respectful, treats you like a queen (which makes you feel like you want to cook him anything he wants or do anything he wants), daring (sweeps you off your feet - keeps you on your toes) and loves/cares for your children with his whole heart. They are courageous, willing to take risks, and encourage you to push yourself and are there when you need a hand to, um, get up that tree because the branch is too low. Basically, a real man is a manly man - not afraid of being a geek or taking his shirt off and chopping wood in the backyard or dressing like a medieval knight to bash his friends with fake swords. It's that bravado and energy which we're attracted to. As to whether we have a crisis, to some degree - probably. As to why..hard to say.
  • Improvised
    Improvised Posts: 925 Member
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    q54SnCqpdE6N7-9uy8TXcQ2.jpg

    Ha! I heart nerds. My husband is an engineer with fab muscles, a beautiful face, and glasses. :)
  • aregey
    aregey Posts: 4
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    I neither like super-masculine people or people who are not masculine enough.

    there is a balance.

    I will say that the most "masculine" a person can be is smart, strong, and independent. This is true masculinity.

    It has nothing to do with muscles, beards, hunting rifles, boots, mud, war, or violence.

    It has to do with integrity and intelligence. As well as not being a puss.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    Yes women rule the world! At least in my house growing up my dad had to say about anything, he still doesn't and its very sad. That said for my husband and I we are partners and talk and compromise all the time. I don't want to be in charge of him,he doesn't want to be the boss of me either.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
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    The Effects of Emasculation of men

    Part 1 http://youtu.be/y5OdQGbVNa4

    The Effects of Emasculation

    Part 2 http://youtu.be/ZPHYPHf0PfE
  • aregey
    aregey Posts: 4
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    As for "hipsters?"

    Well, before we make any jumping angry posts, we have to agree on what a hipster is. We have to know what we're talking about first, and agree on the term.


    For me, a hipster is generally someone fashionable, who is primarily into music that is discussed on websites like Pitchfork.com (though this person may have some "guilty pleasures" - as they would surely call them).

    The hipster wears fashionable clothing from places like Urban Outfitters and American Apparel. They may branch out into more expensive brands. The hipster aspires to have the perfect, coolest fashion and be ahead of the curve.

    ****, I don't know. It gets confusing when we try to determine the line between a "good" and "bad" hipster. for instance, I consider myself far ahead of the curve. However, I do not follow trends to reach this place. Hipsters ironically follow trends in order to be "cool." In reality the only people hipsters become cool with are other hipsters. So it's a sort of social contract. If I dress this way, and listen to this music, then we can all agree that I'm ****able from within this social group. It has nothing to do with music or fashion, but instead to do with mating and social status. If a person is a hipster within a hipster social circle, they become accepted and ****able. It's basically the easiest way to become accepted.


    The reason people hate hipsters, is because it represents conformity to the lowest common demonator. We hate people who conform to the most easy way ... by SPENDING their money on clothing and music, and wasting time reading about ****ty music. This puts anybody who is genuinely independent in a ****ty situation.

    If everyone just did their own thing, without selling themselves out for sex and popularity, then all the independent thinkers wouldn't be in so much trouble. But instead people want sex and popularity more than authenticity so they purchase Urban Outfitters and Lana Del Ray and the deed is done.




    Masculinity with regard to hipsters? Yes, hipsters are not masculine. But this is, if you look at my post above, nothing to do with their taste in clothing, but their lack of independent, logical thought. They lack the courage and honor, and honesty, and integrity, to be themselves, to do their own thing. Instead they follow the herd, which is the opposite of true masculinity. It all fits together, really.
  • Rayand22
    Rayand22 Posts: 18
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    I think there is a douche bag crisis in America.


    Look at you. Witty little aren't you? Hunnnnny, go to Austin, they would be so mean to you and then come back to this thread. I have been there and see how they treat over weight women. Its so wrong and hard to watch. You do not need to be taking up for them. I am shocked there are not many men on here defending men. There seems to be many real men with muscles and that act like men on here so its weird that they are quiet. I guess because its a thread about boobs or *kitten* so they dont care. lolz.
  • ubuntufav
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    As for "hipsters?"

    Well, before we make any jumping angry posts, we have to agree on what a hipster is. We have to know what we're talking about first, and agree on the term.


    For me, a hipster is generally someone fashionable, who is primarily into music that is discussed on websites like Pitchfork.com (though this person may have some "guilty pleasures" - as they would surely call them).

    The hipster wears fashionable clothing from places like Urban Outfitters and American Apparel. They may branch out into more expensive brands. The hipster aspires to have the perfect, coolest fashion and be ahead of the curve.

    ****, I don't know. It gets confusing when we try to determine the line between a "good" and "bad" hipster. for instance, I consider myself far ahead of the curve. However, I do not follow trends to reach this place. Hipsters ironically follow trends in order to be "cool." In reality the only people hipsters become cool with are other hipsters. So it's a sort of social contract. If I dress this way, and listen to this music, then we can all agree that I'm ****able from within this social group. It has nothing to do with music or fashion, but instead to do with mating and social status. If a person is a hipster within a hipster social circle, they become accepted and ****able. It's basically the easiest way to become accepted.


    The reason people hate hipsters, is because it represents conformity to the lowest common demonator. We hate people who conform to the most easy way ... by SPENDING their money on clothing and music, and wasting time reading about ****ty music. This puts anybody who is genuinely independent in a ****ty situation.

    If everyone just did their own thing, without selling themselves out for sex and popularity, then all the independent thinkers wouldn't be in so much trouble. But instead people want sex and popularity more than authenticity so they purchase Urban Outfitters and Lana Del Ray and the deed is done.




    Masculinity with regard to hipsters? Yes, hipsters are not masculine. But this is, if you look at my post above, nothing to do with their taste in clothing, but their lack of independent, logical thought. They lack the courage and honor, and honesty, and integrity, to be themselves, to do their own thing. Instead they follow the herd, which is the opposite of true masculinity. It all fits together, really.

    I wish I had said that along time ago. Well said and true. . I had been drinking all day and so i didnt articulate it very well as you did.

    Im so going to get bashed for this, but my friend forwarded it to me and this is what they look like, I dont care that they look like this but I do care that they are punks to people.To those who dont know what they look like, here ya go.

    http://collegecandy.com/2010/08/18/hipster-or-gay-can-you-tell/
  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    I despise hipsters and everything they represent. THAT is the most emasculating trend in the past 20 years.

    LOL @ "The hipster wears fashionable clothing from places like Urban Outfitters and American Apparel. "

    The ripped jean shorts with a beard and scrawny legs look is so overplayed...makes me gag every time I see it, which is about 50x a day.


    and the fixed gear bike...dude you are not cool just because you ride a bike to work, the same bike that all your friends also ride everywhere and cling to as a symbol of their identity. You know what is cool... my huge *kitten* V8 engine that burns through gas like a cruise ship.
  • Rayand22
    Rayand22 Posts: 18
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    About time some real men comment on here. I was starting to wonder.
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Kids
  • midschool22
    midschool22 Posts: 1,267 Member
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    I'd comment on this thread but I have to go shave my legs.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
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    I don't live in the US so I don't know.

    But come to my country & here the machismos are the norm. I hate it either, GRRRR
  • econut2000
    econut2000 Posts: 395 Member
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    I don't think it is a crisis. the only thing i'm noticing is men getting lazier and lazier. My sister has 2 kids works 2 jobs and her husbands stays home and plays video games. My 2 best friend both have kids and jobs but there husband/boyfriend stay home and do nothing.

    My guy used to work but he quit, now I work 3 jobs and he plays video games. Why would I clean his house and make him a sandwich? If guys want to stay at home they need to learn the proper roll of a stay at home mom/wife/girlfriend. Clean, take care of kids, cook meals, grocery shop and take care of there girl.

    If my guy worked and could pay all the bills I would stay at home and do everything for him, I have no problem with that. If he wants to act like a house wife, I'll treat him like a house wife.

    ^^^^ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooo true!!!!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    There's always got to be a crisis in the forefront. I'm just wringing my hands all worried about it. :indifferent:
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    There's always got to be a crisis in the forefront. I'm just wringing my hands all worried about it. :indifferent:

    By the gods. this is so true! I'm so worried about the luggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow that I am utterly beside myself.