Being Black

wbandel

Let's just say I don't really have any black friends. I have quite a few friends who are black tho.

May I ask a little about what this means? Just trying to get more insight.

It's a tricky one, like I think black people got a right to learn about our history and celebrate our culture, and to talk openly about issues like oppression and racism, without being made to feel bad for making some white people uncomfortble. I think people have a right to find their own identity without other people denying it (I don't like when people say things like 'I don't even see you as black'). But I don't think it is healthy for this to be at the exclusion of everything else. I think with understanding and love of humanity we can be better off for living together.

This reminds me of an article that I read while studying to become an educator. It said something along the lines of children used to be taught to see color and associated stereotypes with it (taught by parents, society, etc.). Then to create equality children were told not to notice color, but still learned the stereotypes indirectly from parents, society, etc. In cafeterias today there are still groups of students who sit based on ethnicity because that is who they feel comfortable talking to (they feel more secure because they identify groups and want to be in "theirs"). So researchers wanted to know why the students did this when they were being told everyone was equal. Part of it had to do with opportunity to meet people of other ethnicities. If you asked any of the kids if they thought of a black person as "black", they would deny it (since they were conditioned to deny it), but there was still evidence based on how they would choose to interact that they still notice it. The point of the article was that perhaps if a parent/educator was to acknowledge aspects of a friend, but prove that they could be equally friends with various types of people, that their children would learn to speak to other people easier. This would also potentially allow them to openly acknowledge the aspects of the person, without giving it a label type mentality.

I think what the poster was trying to say at the top is that their friends aren't foremost thought of as black, but by their names and personalities. This is actually how educators are currently being taught, to speak of the student first, then any identifiers, because it is important to remember that foremost we are all people, followed by our attributes. It's just like how you probably wouldn't say, I have a "handicapped friend", "fat friend", "gay friend", "nerdy friend", etc.

RobynMWilson

Just be yourself! You got it right...you're a person, not a race or color!

britlocs

i find that interesting too.

infact i noticed a lot of Americans use the term "African American" as if synonymous with black.To be "politically correct"

I am a black man,born in England.So calling me African American doesn't work for me,lol.As I'm not American.

Infact, i'm not African either since i have never been on the continent.We are also referred to as Afro-carribean because most black people that first came to England came over from the Caribbean.

its also begs the question,how come white people aren't called European Americans,but everyone else has to be categorized.

If you were a good human you would know that the rest of the world revolves around US, we are always right. Sheesh. Haven't we bombed enough countries for you people to realize this yet??

haha!

NicoleIsUnderConstruction

OH MY GOODNESS!!! I CAN RELATE!! My whole life I have had a hard time fitting in because down here in the South your race plays a huge part in your life wether you want it to or not. I have never fit in with any race because I'm "not too" this and not too that. I'm not white enough because I'm from a different country and speak a different language, I'm not hispanic enough because I live in the US, speak "white" and sometimes say some spanish words wrong, I'm not black enough because I'm hispanic and sound "white. People don't see people for who they are anymore its all about the color of the skin. Even if it is 2012 - people are quick to see the color of your skin first before the kindness of your soul. It's very sad. I don't see color I just see people and I wish people would be the same with me. Get to know me first and see how good of a person I am instead of writing me off because I don't fit into your stereotype of what I'm supposed to be.

NiSan12

In true honesty whether you are black or white it is important to stay healthy because when you're overweight it will affect anybody or any race! So lets all stick together on being healthy and in shape and hopefully that will keep any negative thoughts away!

NICELY PUT

mdsjmom98

This is all so sad to me. I feel this is why the world is breaking down, is because we are not allowed to be who we want to be, that there's some expectation about how we "should" be. My own family has expectations of me that I find unacceptable. My sister will say there are certain things I NEED to do with my husband, kids, home, finances, blah blah blah....and I don't necessarily agree with her way of doing things, so she kinda bashes on me when we're together. As long as you live a good life, are kind to one another, why does the hate have to exist? Especially with your own family/friends??

My son is struggling right now. He plays football, but is not a "jock" and frequently is the victim of extreme teasing by one of the class bullies and his henchmen. I wish all of you could talk to him and impart your wisdom to him. Some of the comments on here were awesome, and very insightful.

To quote one of my all time favorite movies Can't Buy Me Love: He's just trying to make friends *being* *himself*. Cools, Nerds, your side, my side, man it's all bull****. It's just tough enough to be yourself.

Peace to us all!!

KarmaxKitty

\m/

LOVE IT.

wbandel

I was waiting for someone to post that ridiculous Morgan freeman quote.

Look,ignoring the problem is not the solution to anything,and a lot of people think,just because some black celebrity with a cool voice said this, doesn't make it a valid statement or a representation of how most black people feel.

I understand what Morgan says,black history is just HISTORY,white people where involved in "black history" too.lol

However black history month exists because it is barely taught its schools,probably because it might make white people feel bad and uncomfortable.Which is the exact reason why a lot of people love to quote this,because topics of race aren't something a lot of people want to deal with.Black history month is so people can be more aware of how things went down.

I can't believe people think the solution,is sticking your fingers in your ears,and going "LA LA LA"

like seriously? would you say that about ANYTHING ELSE???

How do we stop rape?

stop talking about it.


how do we stop murder?

stop talking about it.

how do we stop robbery?

stop talking about it.

like seriously,WOW.

Wonderful points. I've had a lot of discussions about this in my education classes, and there is a general consensus now, between educators at least, that "black history month" isn't the right way to go. Not because it isn't important to talk about the achievements of a group of people, but it is the context. It shows that it is an extra. It is part of the history courses that trivialize what makes up a group of people. Like only learning about certain ethnicities through their festivals, food, and traditions. It's all shown as extra, which is just another way of making it excluded. Instead teachers are trying to use more supplementary materials throughout the year to include perspectives of all varieties.

jenluvsushi

i find that interesting too.

infact i noticed a lot of Americans use the term "African American" as if synonymous with black.To be "politically correct"

I am a black man,born in England.So calling me African American doesn't work for me,lol.As I'm not American.

Infact, i'm not African either since i have never been on the continent.We are also referred to as Afro-carribean because most black people that first came to England came over from the Caribbean.

its also begs the question,how come white people aren't called European Americans,but everyone else has to be categorized.

Exactly why I don't use that term...like I know where someone comes from just because they are a certain color? Charlize Theron is actually African but she appears to be caucasian, right? If we all want to get real, science has proven that all life started in Africa...therefore we are all African Americans, Europeans or whatevers.....LOL!

Tammi623

To me this question is very subjective. I identify myself as a Black American Woman. Being black to me is a mix of genetic, racial, ethnic, and cultural aspects .....That being said, I also don’t let it dictate my actions. I was raised by strong parents to be who I am as a complex, multifaceted individual.

Not to pick on you or your statement but I do have a question or two. Why do you label yourself as a black woman and then say you believe race is a non issue? I dont ever say I am a white man. I am just a man, why do have to label your self as a black woman? Why cant we all just be humans? BTW this thread has been very enlightning to me and I am proud of all the MFP folks that have contributed to this thread in a professional diverse way.

I get why it seems contradictory it’s because it is a complex topic. I was speaking on different levels: how society views me, what I identify myself as, and how I personally feel about race when forming relationships

The comment of being a Black America Woman was more of a reference to the question of “Are you African American, Black, or just American?” To not acknowledge myself as black would be to not acknowledge my heritage and cultural upbringing. Yes, I am a human, we all are human. BUT in today’s society the fact that I am a black woman colors many of the things I experience. I am expected to act a certain way. When society looks at me they expect me to be something different than if they were to look at a women of a different race. I am a member of not one but two minority groups. This means that I get stereotyped on the basis on these things. I am stereo typed as 1) being a woman 2) a black person and 3) as a black woman. Each of these categories holds many different stereotypes and I, as a black woman, am held to all of them. Along with these stereotypes comes the history of these groups. I know of the hardships of the black women who came before me and I celebrate the rights and privileges I have now that were a result of these women’s actions and suffering. All of these things I carry with me as I move forward. When asked about what I identify myself as I will answer this way because I know of the hardships that I may face in today’s society.

Now, when I say that race is a non issue for me, I am saying this on a personal (person to person) level. My interactions with people are not dictated by race. I am not friends with white people because they are white; I am friends with people who happen to be white because they are cool people (the same goes for all of my friends of different races).

Other people’s race does not matter to me but I know how I am viewed by society because of mine. Its more of a self awareness thing.

Just because I don’t care what other people’s race is in forming relationships does not mean that I am not affected by it. As a woman it is very likely that I would get paid less than my male counterpart at work. Just because I do not care about the race of others does not mean that store clerks don’t follow me around in stores to make sure that I don’t steal anything because I am black.

Does that make sense? I’m not all that good at explaining myself sometimes


…. That was a lot of words lol

Rhea30

FFFFFUUUUUUUU

I'm just going to copy+paste my Timmy example again. I'd sure hate to have you on a jury! Apparently extra information that was never mentioned is okay to use as evidence... hmm.

You want to prove Timmy hates red apples. But the ONLY information you have is that TImmy has less red apples than green apples. You can't logically draw the conclusion that Timmy hates red apples ONLY based on the information you have.

She's not going to get it......Sometimes you have to know when to walk away......

I know. I guess it's just the little bit of child left in me thinking "she's a grown up, she's gotta know this"

Just because someone's an adult doesn't mean they know how to use their brain. Personally, I hope she's just a troll, being ignorant and stupid for her own entertainment purposes & doesn't REALLY believe in what she's spewing. If she does, it's just a classic example of what's wrong with western civilization.

We don't beat the stupidity out of our kids anymore. I was spanked as a kid. Taught me proper values, I'm proud to say. I'm rubbish with accents. I confuse Chinese with Japanese with Philipino. I can't tell the difference between Hispanic & Native American. Black kinda looks like black... but whether they're from Africa, Jamaica, or South America, I never figured out. I confuse Jewish with Egyptian. I can't tell the difference between an Italian Accent & a Spanish Accent. Muslim, or Seik, or Hindi? Who knows? I certainly don't.

Mostly because... that's right: I NEVER CARED ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION. People are just people... move on.

What have I said that is so ignorant and stupid? What have I spewed? I ask a person to use their brain and their come back is a "FFFFUUUU" LOL. All I've been asking the whole entire time is basically why she disagrees with what I said. She showed her Timmy explain, okay I pointed out what was faulty in that as she has claimed with what I had typed.

MisterGoodBar

I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.

If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.

As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.

this is a really good piece of advice but to CobraCar about "...heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything," this may be how you feel which is fine but the truth of it is completely off base. i dispute this fact wholeheartely, in fact as a heterosexual white male..." you're almost forced to "...promote anything [and everything]" thats white. goes for white females also, heterosexual or lesbian/bi, but its not your fault. its just 620 years of mastered propaganda thats working.

as for the OP, look man be who you are (regardless of ethnicity) because as far as people are concerned there's only 1 race...humans. the same mastered (throughout centuries of practice) propaganda that has CobraCar, and some other white americans, feeling guilt or angst or unease about who they are and whether its ok to promote their culture is the same that has you creating this post, conversely of course. also, the same questioned reflection that has your friends making you feel this way.

like all other culture, identity is a very fluid concept. up to you, me, CobraCar (im not picking on him, his perspective is valid to my point and our understanding of questions like your post), and others fixing this problem created by our ancestors' status apetites.

keep questioning EVERYTHING, until we get to the bottom of it.

-vested Blackman

wbandel

FFFFFUUUUUUUU

I'm just going to copy+paste my Timmy example again. I'd sure hate to have you on a jury! Apparently extra information that was never mentioned is okay to use as evidence... hmm.

You want to prove Timmy hates red apples. But the ONLY information you have is that TImmy has less red apples than green apples. You can't logically draw the conclusion that Timmy hates red apples ONLY based on the information you have.

To try to restate this, I believe what you are saying is that you acknowledge there are statistics that show that unemployment from different groups does vary. One conclusion could be that it has to do with discrimination (which you happen to agree with as you stated several times). Without further information to go on, the data provided by the other person, could be read in various ways. Such as, maybe those groups have a harder time of getting to job interviews (don't live near public transportation) so they never get a chance to be considered for a job, or maybe certain people label themselves in other criteria (ex: a housewife could be unemployed, but not looking for employment, there is no proof she isn't getting hired because she isn't applying to jobs). Of course we don't know any of this, because we have nothing else to add to the data. So the data isn't conclusive to make a point, however it could be used to show a correlation. Correlations dont' always prove anything.

You could have data that says the unemployment rates for people who like peanut butter and jelly is less than those who don't. This doesn't necessarily prove beyond reason that companies are only hiring people who like peanut butter and jelly. Who knows, perhaps the people who hate peanut butter and jelly went to a fast food place for lunch and were unable to get back in time for the interview. Nobody knows because there is only the initial data.

cmd721

It goes back to the history books that if you have 1/16 black blood in you, then you are black. Black people supposedly have something to prove because they were oppressed for so many years. People want you to be proud that you're black and act like it and so forth....blah blah blah. However, this does not define you as a person. Those people that say those things about you would not make good friends and don't care about who you are truly. I am biracial myself, and I grew up around alot of black people and alot of my friends are black. I relate to alot of the culture because of this--not just because I am half black. Anyway, I'm rambling. Just be true to yourself and dont worry about what others say. At the end of the day, its about who you want you to be.

RhonndaJ

I happen to be one of those who believes that we need to 'stop talking about it', meaning to stop talking about racism.

I'm not trying to say ignore it and it will go away. It won't, and I know it.

But long experience has shown that the more people talk about a problem the less is actually done to solve the problem.

So I believe we need to stop talking about the issue and start doing something about it. Don't sit on your behind and discuss the past and what we can do to better the future. Raise your kids with open minds and open hearts. Speak up if you see someone speaking or acting in a prejudiced manner, regardless of their skin colour, or if you happen to know them or not.

If more people did this, instead of being scared of offending someone, we'd be in a much better place.

Edited to fix what my brain messed up.

wbandel

i find that interesting too.

infact i noticed a lot of Americans use the term "African American" as if synonymous with black.To be "politically correct"

I am a black man,born in England.So calling me African American doesn't work for me,lol.As I'm not American.

Infact, i'm not African either since i have never been on the continent.We are also referred to as Afro-carribean because most black people that first came to England came over from the Caribbean.

its also begs the question,how come white people aren't called European Americans,but everyone else has to be categorized.

I had this conversation the other day with my husband. I said that since I'm mostly German background, when do I just become American? I have a friend who is fourth generation Mexican American and I guess I would be fourth generation German American, yet no one would ever call me that, even if I was second generation German, yet they'd easily call him Mexican American.

And if I moved to another country (like Germany), would I then be American German? :laugh: I think people should just count where they have citizenship and not worry about all the archaic details, unless they are making a family tree or something.

rfarinha

We are all part of the Human Race. Biggest pet peeve is when "race" is used instead of "ethnicity". And "ethnicity" is something to be proud of. It is your history! Why is everyone trying to act like they don't see our differences? We are ALL different, even those who are of the same ethnic background. We will only achieve true peace when we all can accept and embrace those differences instead of pretending that they don't exist.

Rhea30

FFFFFUUUUUUUU

I'm just going to copy+paste my Timmy example again. I'd sure hate to have you on a jury! Apparently extra information that was never mentioned is okay to use as evidence... hmm.

You want to prove Timmy hates red apples. But the ONLY information you have is that TImmy has less red apples than green apples. You can't logically draw the conclusion that Timmy hates red apples ONLY based on the information you have.

To try to restate this, I believe what you are saying is that you acknowledge there are statistics that show that unemployment from different groups does vary. One conclusion could be that it has to do with discrimination (which you happen to agree with as you stated several times). Without further information to go on, the data provided by the other person, could be read in various ways. Such as, maybe those groups have a harder time of getting to job interviews (don't live near public transportation) so they never get a chance to be considered for a job, or maybe certain people label themselves in other criteria (ex: a housewife could be unemployed, but not looking for employment, there is no proof she isn't getting hired because she isn't applying to jobs). Of course we don't know any of this, because we have nothing else to add to the data. So the data isn't conclusive to make a point, however it could be used to show a correlation. Correlations dont' always prove anything.

You could have data that says the unemployment rates for people who like peanut butter and jelly is less than those who don't. This doesn't necessarily prove beyond reason that companies are only hiring people who like peanut butter and jelly. Who knows, perhaps the people who hate peanut butter and jelly went to a fast food place for lunch and were unable to get back in time for the interview. Nobody knows because there is only the initial data.

Thanks for the response and those are really good points.

k8blujay2

i find that interesting too.

infact i noticed a lot of Americans use the term "African American" as if synonymous with black.To be "politically correct"

I am a black man,born in England.So calling me African American doesn't work for me,lol.As I'm not American.

Infact, i'm not African either since i have never been on the continent.We are also referred to as Afro-carribean because most black people that first came to England came over from the Caribbean.

its also begs the question,how come white people aren't called European Americans,but everyone else has to be categorized.

I used to write in "Euro-American" on the ethnicity questions... mostly to be facetious.... but honestly, even as a white woman, I have always wondered how those of color aren't ever "black/brown/yellow/red/purple/green/blue/etc." enough... I always wondered why it was ok for those of color to call their own derogatory terms (such as Uncle Tom or tell people of color to "get back on the porch" and things of that nature)... I never understood why if you weren't supporting the stereotypes and the status quo then you weren't "black" (or whatever other race or ethnicity) enough... I don't think I ever will either. No matter how many conversations I have with a friend of mine that lambasts politically opposite people of "color" for not being (insert ethnicity/skin color here) enough... I think it's all very sad.

Besides, I always prefer to chat with people who "speak proper" anyway... regardless of skin tone... it's so much easier to understand than say speaking all in slang or talking like Boomhauer from King of the Hill (which I have known a guy that speaks like that).

jcstanton

i find that interesting too.

infact i noticed a lot of Americans use the term "African American" as if synonymous with black.To be "politically correct"

I am a black man,born in England.So calling me African American doesn't work for me,lol.As I'm not American.

Infact, i'm not African either since i have never been on the continent.We are also referred to as Afro-carribean because most black people that first came to England came over from the Caribbean.

its also begs the question,how come white people aren't called European Americans,but everyone else has to be categorized.

This bothers me as well. My brother (white) and my sister in law (black), have four children (three together). They have always told them "you are American...period". In fact, my sister in law's heritage includes Jamaican and North American Indian, so it would be ridiculous to say they are African American in any case.