Being Black

19kat55

I long for the day when we are a totally color blind society. Truly the color of your skin or your ethnicty has 0% to do with who you are as a person. Now I'm not saying it has no influence on you, that would be stupid. But it does not have to define you completely. I like to look at a person and see who they are. Are they kind to others, supportive, giving, caring, things like that. And you find those types of people in every race/ethnicity. And you will also find people totally self-centered, egotistical, mean, nasty, in every race/ethnicty. Color does not matter. How you treat others is what matters.

ktbug1186

It's all stereotypes. It sucks that they are out there. Whoever told you that you're "rubbish at being black" is just someone who is being stereotypical. He or she is probably not very diverse. A lot of people are really caught up in their background or their race or something like that and they try and live out those stereotypes as much as they can.
I mean, think about it, there are stereotypes for everything. One that isn't negative that pops out at me is that Asians are often perceived as being really smart. So if there was a dumb person who happened to be Asian, that would be another occasion where someone might say they are rubbish at being Asian.
So it's just kind of something like that.

This kind of thing happens a lot more in small towns. Where I grew up, it was ONLY white people (I'm white too) so I don't think I even saw an Asian or black person for the first 15 years of my life (except on TV lol). But now that I live in a big city, I have friends of many different races and colours and it just isn't a big deal. People don't act black or act white or all that. People are just people.

^this!!! PEOPLE ARE JUST PEOPLE. One of my best friends, and has been for almost ten years now, is black. I couldn't care less what color she is, and she thinks the same about me! All i know her is is as my dear friend whom I love!

ironanimal

I have nothing huge to add to this conversation (one downside to being white), but I would like to say sometimes I wish I was black so my muscle definition would be more visible.

Also, as a heterosexual white male, I have been refused countless jobs in my home city of London because there are imposed regulations on workplace diversity that mean I'm not very interesting.

roachhaley

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

I'm with you on this - there definitely is a bias towards heterosexual white males. Not to say its nearly as bad as other groups have been treated, but to say there's no bias against them is silly. I went to grade school - high school at schools where I was the minority, and I can tell you that I've heard tons of people talking about "racist white people". I don't think people realise that always accusing white people of being racist, is being racist in itself.

mgmlap

My oldest is told this. She is biracial...adopted into my family. I think its more of a state of mind. I am East Indian and had this problem growing up..I didnt speak the language right..I am not indian..I didnt dress right..i am not indian..i spoke when men spoke..i am not indian..I do think its all rubbish

You are part of your environment...regardless of race..Who the hell cares. I think you should be a human being not this or that. I mean seriously..is my daughter anti black if she doesnt wear her hair natural.

I am just lucky I can show my daughters diversity..and inclusion....rather than picking one thing only. We say a few words in the Indian language (gujarati)..and we eat indian food..but we also eat polish food since their dad is polish ..I dont raise my kids according to race..but according to what is right..

Newmammaluv

I take my "skin color" ques from my 3 year old.... "it's just skin color"

Look how different a rose is from a tulip... both flowers. They have different needs, different lineage but they are both flowers. We are all judged by the company that we keep, there is different cultures within the race lines but where you stand and what makes you YOU is ultimately no one elses business or responsibility. I'll be happy when the day comes that racism is completely banished... seeing as how the use of "whitewashed" and "stuck up trying to be white" are both incredibly derogetory... we arent there yet.

cheerforsteelers

I can say that I've been told I'm the whitest black person many people know. And it's more so because I'm culturally diverse. I listen to different types of music, watch many different types of tv programs in movies, etc. I also am told frequently that I talk wife. I generally ask how to someone talk white. So then they say i'm very proper and don't use lots of slang or things of that nature. I'll already know that they mean I speak as if I'm educated.

I use to be somewhat offended if someone seemed to be questioning my blackness. Now it doesn't bother me. I'm not a stereotype and try to be me. To the poster don't let them discourage you from being who you are. Your diction and behavior are bound to take you further than if you are acting out and ghetto all the time. Just be you.

This is interesting. I've been told the opposite - that I'm the blackest white person my friends know. I don't try to be any particular way, but I wonder if it has anything to do with my preference in men.

jr1985

As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.
[/quote]

Ha! Touche!

I agree with the OP though... Just be you, you don't need to fit any mold

... as spoken from a heterosexual white female though.

tmanfromtexas

What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx

To me this question is very subjective. I identify myself as a Black American Woman. Being black to me is a mix of genetic, racial, ethnic, and cultural aspects. You can’t be “rubbish at being black”. Being black is a part of who you are just like being male or female. Never let anyone define you in such a one dimensional way. As humans, we operate on many different planes and are very complex. To bring you down to that single aspect of your identity and say such a thing about any one is insulting. There is no such thing as being a “good black person” or a bad black person. There IS a such thing to be a generally good or bad person. Wanting to have some friends of the same race is not a bad thing and it doesn’t make you ungrateful to the friends that you have. I am in a similar situation. Having a friend of the same background actually makes a lot of difference because they see the things that your other friends would not, due to different cultural backgrounds. Not having that can be very stressful in social situations and can make you feel like you are alone. It’s natural to want to befriend someone with a similar background as you. It’s not a bad or good thing; it’s just how it is.

As much as I believe that race is a non issue and that being a human is all that should matter, the reality of the society I live in, is that it does matter. To me it’s more of a background thing. Just like noticing a person’s height or that they have brown/red/blond hair. It’s just a part of them that doesn’t really matter to me, personally. If you are cool peoples then we can be friends and it will be awesome. You can be purple for all I care, though I may be a bit concerned about your health lol. However, the view of society has a major impact on me as a Black American Woman. I am expected to act or speak a certain way. I don’t because it’s just not my personality to be that way *shrug.* I am hyper aware of the world around me and the social implications behind the actions of others. I notice inconstancies in people’s actions when they interact with people of other races and their interactions with me. It is kind of always in the back of my mind. That being said, I also don’t let it dictate my actions. I was raised by strong parents to be who I am as a complex, multifaceted individual.

Not to pick on you or your statement but I do have a question or two. Why do you label yourself as a black woman and then say you believe race is a non issue? I dont ever say I am a white man. I am just a man, why do have to label your self as a black woman? Why cant we all just be humans? BTW this thread has been very enlightning to me and I am proud of all the MFP folks that have contributed to this thread in a professional diverse way.

Rhea30

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

roachhaley

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

Rhea30

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

But studies that do take different races with the same qualifications and see who gets the job does. There's been plenty of these studies done, you can look them up for yourself.

roachhaley

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

But studies that do take different races with the same qualifications and see who gets the job does. There's been plenty of these studies done, you can look them up for yourself.

I don't doubt that, but what you said up there made no sense at all.

Rhea30

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

But studies that do take different races with the same qualifications and see who gets the job does. There's been plenty of these studies done, you can look them up for yourself.

I don't doubt that, but what you said up there made no sense at all.

Educate yourself further and it will.

roachhaley

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

But studies that do take different races with the same qualifications and see who gets the job does. There's been plenty of these studies done, you can look them up for yourself.

I don't doubt that, but what you said up there made no sense at all.

Educate yourself further and it will.

You quoted ONLY unemployment rates. You can not possibly draw any conclusions regarding discrimination SOLELY based on unemployment numbers, and you know that.

StartingOver4Me

I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.

If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.

As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.

fleur_de_lis19

How are we going to get rid of racism? Stop talking about it!

Dad_of_3

Southern white guy here from Alabama. Lived in Tennessee, three hours away from home, for several years now. My relatives, especially my sisters, say I sound "uppity" now. Makes no sense to me.

I admit my accent is not as thick as it used to be, but I haven't purposely tried to change it.

Rhea30

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

A white heterosexual man with a criminal background has more of chance getting a job over a black man without one. You can take a look the unemployment rates as well and see which groups are hurting the most. Trust me, white men do not as much as a hard time finding a job as a black male. Many white men over exaggerate because they know of the affirmation laws and stuff so they try to blame the regulations instead of their own flaws to why they may not be getting a job but they still don't have the hurdles that other races face.

Unemployment rates don't tell you if people are unemployed because they were discriminated against, come on. Youve gotta be smarter than that. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen, but your example is ridiculous.

But studies that do take different races with the same qualifications and see who gets the job does. There's been plenty of these studies done, you can look them up for yourself.

I don't doubt that, but what you said up there made no sense at all.

Educate yourself further and it will.

You quoted ONLY unemployment rates. You can not possibly draw any conclusions regarding discrimination SOLELY based on unemployment numbers, and you know that.

I stated that's another thing you can look at basically. Its not a coincidence when the recession hit that certain groups got hit harder. If you feel otherwise then tell me why you think they got hit harder? When there aren't many jobs out there and 100 plus people fighting for the same job, who you think has more of a chance?

jennismagic

I used to let this kind of stupidity bother me, but I've learned that it's just that: stupidity. There is no standard of blackness, and anyone who says otherwise is a fool. Do you. Anyone who doesn't like it can screw themselves.