Being Black

timmy2strikes

I have a similar issue... I am white but I have always had more friends that are black instead of white friends. I have only dated one white person in my life and that did not last long. A lot of my ethnic friends say I am blacker then they are even though I come across very white.

The only race to me is the human race.

DetroitDarin

To hell with "Racial Cred"

Was it Michael Jackson who wrote:

I'm not going to spend my life being a colour.

tmanfromtexas

Ha ha, people always say this stereotype of black people and fried chicken. Especially fat black people. This is where I am a stereotype!!! I love it, lol. I didn't happen to mention but I live in the UK. I suppose race issues are similar in UK and USA but maybe also is subtle differences. Oh wow, I am getting so wrapped up in this, I need to go, ctach you all later!! Thanks for all your thoughts!

Oh, that guy is laughable in the pciture. But what people who talk about uncle Toms and coconuts when a black person is intelligent or succesful, don't understand is theur mindset is not so far from his!!

xxx

Your statement makes me ask the question, why do people who are black treat other people of the same color skin this way? To me it is inner racism. People speak of how people that are white are the racist ones, but when I hear these comments being said by people with black skin to people of the same color who are trying to better themselves, it makes me shake my head and wonder why would they want to hold someone back? Most people who are white, dont do this. Why do people who are black do this to their own race?

Spanntastic12

I can say that I've been told I'm the whitest black person many people know. And it's more so because I'm culturally diverse. I listen to different types of music, watch many different types of tv programs in movies, etc. I also am told frequently that I talk wife. I generally ask how to someone talk white. So then they say i'm very proper and don't use lots of slang or things of that nature. I'll already know that they mean I speak as if I'm educated.

I use to be somewhat offended if someone seemed to be questioning my blackness. Now it doesn't bother me. I'm not a stereotype and try to be me. To the poster don't let them discourage you from being who you are. Your diction and behavior are bound to take you further than if you are acting out and ghetto all the time. Just be you.

UnderCoverShyGirl

While i'm white as the driven snow (and have always wished for some glamorous ethnicity!) I identify a lot with black music and culture and people. I'm lucky enough to have a diverse biological family, although i was raised in an adoptive family that promoted being German and excluded all other races. I grew up fighting that from a very young age, it just didn't make sense to me to give a crap what color, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. another HUMAN was. Somehow i innately knew that didn't matter.

Unfortunately people need to feel part of a community (or clique, if you will). Whether they define that by color or region or religion or sex, etc...and they bash others that are not a part of their chosen clique. Who is anyone to define what any race is supposed to look like, act like, etc. I roll down the street blasting 50 cent or tupac sometimes and i have to confess that i get a lot of the "WTF a 45 year old big white lady/mom listening to THAT???" looks. I'm sorry, we are individuals, and yes, some people feel comfort by creating or being a part of a certain group, but many of us are just fine picking out the bits and pieces of life we love without worrying how they "define" us in other's eyes.

Be who you are, you don't have a duty to be more "black" or "white" or anything unless that is a personal goal you have because it feels right to you. You are not required to "act" more of anything, you have no requirement to promote black/white/whatever things simply because that is your physical color. The people taunting you are the people that need that communal feeling in order to have identity, you simply do not. I say kudos to you.

Color and other types of diversity among us should be celebrated, not put in a box, not given "rules". I wish people overall would stop worrying about what everyone else is doing/looking like and pay more attention to themselves, their own behavior and presence in the world. Then we'll really get some place mentally, where people are celebrated, and cultures are celebrated and shared, instead of being this exclusive, defined, fake version of what they really are....aka not all black people like watermelon, not all white people are stuck up and talk like George W, not all asians are bad drivers, etc. etc. Just dumb!

rml_16

To hell with "Racial Cred"

Was it Michael Jackson who wrote:

I'm not going to spend my life being a colour.

Michael Jackson was American. He would have said color.

joselo2

UndercoverShy, Being non white isn't more 'glamourous', I wouldn't particularly wish to be a different race. I think it'd be hard for anyone to wish they were a different race for real because no one really knows what it is like to be another race but the one they are! Not having a go, just saying, be happy what you are I don't think is is always unfortunate to want a sense of belonging and community. Everyone has a need to feel they belong to something, I think it is human nature. I think this is one reason why black people in white environments sometimes need to do things and be with people that nurtures a particular part of their identity. I slightly disagree with you that we don't need a communal feeling to help shape our identity, I think we do. That is not just about colour but a sense of a shared identity and heritage. White people have that need to. There is nothing wrong in that at all. What is less healthy I think is when people exclusively want to be part of one community and not mix with others. That way leads to seperatism!

Thanks spanntastic, this is what I am trying to acheive, a level of being cofortable enough in myself to enjoy allparts of who I am and what made me who i am, and not worry about what others think!

I am not too sure tmantexas, i think 'internalised racism' or 'inner racism' as you say is a thing, I guess.

There is a whole other debate about whether being the only white person in a black environment is the same as the opposite situation or not. Again I think I have too much on my mind, and you are all really wise!
xxxx

Tammi623

What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx

To me this question is very subjective. I identify myself as a Black American Woman. Being black to me is a mix of genetic, racial, ethnic, and cultural aspects. You can’t be “rubbish at being black”. Being black is a part of who you are just like being male or female. Never let anyone define you in such a one dimensional way. As humans, we operate on many different planes and are very complex. To bring you down to that single aspect of your identity and say such a thing about any one is insulting. There is no such thing as being a “good black person” or a bad black person. There IS a such thing to be a generally good or bad person. Wanting to have some friends of the same race is not a bad thing and it doesn’t make you ungrateful to the friends that you have. I am in a similar situation. Having a friend of the same background actually makes a lot of difference because they see the things that your other friends would not, due to different cultural backgrounds. Not having that can be very stressful in social situations and can make you feel like you are alone. It’s natural to want to befriend someone with a similar background as you. It’s not a bad or good thing; it’s just how it is.

As much as I believe that race is a non issue and that being a human is all that should matter, the reality of the society I live in, is that it does matter. To me it’s more of a background thing. Just like noticing a person’s height or that they have brown/red/blond hair. It’s just a part of them that doesn’t really matter to me, personally. If you are cool peoples then we can be friends and it will be awesome. You can be purple for all I care, though I may be a bit concerned about your health lol. However, the view of society has a major impact on me as a Black American Woman. I am expected to act or speak a certain way. I don’t because it’s just not my personality to be that way *shrug.* I am hyper aware of the world around me and the social implications behind the actions of others. I notice inconstancies in people’s actions when they interact with people of other races and their interactions with me. It is kind of always in the back of my mind. That being said, I also don’t let it dictate my actions. I was raised by strong parents to be who I am as a complex, multifaceted individual.

Rhea30

I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.

If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.

As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.

What would you have to promote as a heterosexual white male? I'm really asking this because its a statement I hear alot but what truly would you need to promote? If you take a look at the groups you have mentioned its all groups that had to fight to have equal rights, the same rights that heterosexual white men have already been granted. So whats your view and what would you promote?

dmpizza

We should always be good people first.
Everyone should enjoy their heritage, but many people seek political power BECAUSE of it and those people usually try and discourage others from truly integrating. That gives them more power.

jcstanton

What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx

While it is important to know your heritage and the role your race has played in history, I think you have the right general approach. This is not a "black and white" world in which we live. It has a very diverse and rich history of many different HUMAN BEINGS. Bottom line, if more people focused more on who they are as a human being and less on how important their racial heritage is in relation to the rest of the world, I think we'd find that we have much more in common than we thought.

dodihere

I am white and never mistaken for an Italian American.

Stacey3981

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

roachhaley

While i'm white as the driven snow (and have always wished for some glamorous ethnicity!)

why would a different ethnicity be glamorous? it's strange how often causation people forget that they have a skin color, too. it was always weird how anything different than caucasion was "ethnic". in some areas, i feel pretty damn ethnic myself.

Rhea30

What does it mean to be black? Is it more than a race? Someone told me I am 'rubbish at being black'. I live in a mainly white area, my friends and everyone around me is therefore mostly white. Racially, I identify as mixed race/latino/person of colour/black depending on whatever I want. I'm a happy go lucky boy. Why do I feel so bad that someone told me I am apathetic and not doing what I should? I just try to be a good PERSON, I don't think too much about being a good black person. Sometimes I guess I would like to know more people my own race so I don't feel a little different ffrom time to time, but I don't like to say it because it sounds like I am ungrateful for my lovely friends, when really I love them, and it isn't their fault we don't live in a diverse area. I hope it is not bad. I just interested in some thoughts because this is a forum of people cleverer than me! I hope I cause no offence. xxxxxx

I'm not black but I say just be who you want to be. My very best friend in this world is black and her and I are nearly like twins when it comes to likes and dislikes even though we are two different races, the main thing people forget with everything and even with gender lines is that we are all human so just continue on being you and doing what you feel is right for you

Lazygal53

Just be the best version of yourself. Nobody can ask for more than that

tennisbabe94

I understand this completely. This happens to me too, I live in a predominately white community, although it does have some diversity. What irritates me most is when people glance at me and think that they automatically know everything about me based on my skin color. First of all, my mom is white and from Spain, and my dad is black and from Cameroon. People can never really tell my ethnicity, but why should it matter in the first place? I have a lot of cultures in my household, a lot of different languages spoken and whatnot. I don't identify with either black or white. I'm mixed race and that is that. For someone to try to tell me how I should or should not behave based solely on my skin color is very ignorant. Sometimes my friends will do it too, but I make sure to cut them off immediately. I behave how I want to, my ethnicity determines nothing. I think it's important to let people know that it's offensive when they make comments like that. At the end of the day, just remember that you're a great person. Don't dwell on those comments or let them affect you too much.

Stacey3981

I suppose you are busy trying to just be 'a person' and other people are busy trying to promote their agenda.

If you are gay you are supposed to promote it, if you are black you must promote all things black, women must support women's rights, etc.
Unless you are comfortable being who you are and are not looking to blame others and take from others to make you whole.
If you are strong, secure, independent, then you can do whatever you want and you don't have to bow down to others who accuse you of not being black enough.

As a heterosexual white male I am not allowed to promote anything.

Sorry, this was my first time posting and I didn't do it right the first time. My reply makes much more sense accompanied by the original quote:

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

Feathil

As a heterosexual white male, you're not being discriminated against and your equal rights aren't in jeopardy. All of us who belong to an oppressed minority group have the responsibility to stand up for ourselves and other oppressed minorities. What you call "promoting an agenda" is simply demanding equal treatment. I'm not surprised you can't empathize.

There's a lot of bias against heterosexual white males, kind of like a backlash. They will be blamed for sexism and racism first. They will be stepped over just so that a company has a woman or ethnic person in positions to fill their quota. And that's speaking as a woman. All of this just needs to find a balance but it'll take a while. I don't care about this enough to be honest, live and let live.

Ralphrabbit

Am I being "ist" of any kind by saying that I do not really notice anyone's skin colour or accent (unless I have trouble understanding them & that is a different issue!) any more? An individual is one person created by God as who they are & entitled to treatment by me as a human being. I may not always agree with their life choices but that does not always give me the right to say so, though if we are friends we would probably discuss this stuff. I am entitled to be treated in the same fair & non-judgemental way.

In my job we have to ask for someone's ethnic origin for the data in the health call. We have been doing this for 10 years now & I am noticing that people do not have an answer any more as everything is so blurred now and anyway, who cares?!?!?