Food rules for your kids?

CJisinShape

This morning my 3yr old tried to take the peanut butter in her room. She likes to eat pb out of the jar but she isn't allowed. Today, I told her why:

"You have to watch what you do - if you eat pb out the jar 2 times, you might do it 3 times and if you do it enough, it will become a habit, where you do it without thinking. If you eat pb out the jar by habit you'll get fat, and you don't want to get fat - you want to be strong and healthy, right?"

Only one of three likes fruit and vegetables, but they are all a normal weight even though I'm fat. They drink milk, tea, water. If we have juice or soda, we only keep enough to last for one serving then its back to milk. My son had issues with hyperactivity, and after cutting juice from his diet, I noticed a big change in attention span. I'm not strict - I know some parents are strict about gluten, meat, sugar, and basically don't want their kids to enjoy eating anything. What about you? Do you have limits for your children? What are they and why?

corn63

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

daffodilsoup

in b4 mommywars.

juliecat1

Oh this might get good.

Teach your kids boundaries, limits and to have a HEALTHY relationship with food. That's all I'm sayin. For now anyways.

rml_16

Wow. You pretty much guaranteed right in that moment the you will have a child with serious food issues.

oregonzoo

You may not want to use the word "fat". My daughter has used the word and we have had to have long discussions about it, and the fact it's not a word we use in our household.

As juliecat said, make it about boundaries and having a healthy relationship with food.
Ugh. using the word fat. Just disturbing. Don't do it again.

beach_please

Oh this might get good.

Teach your kids boundaries, limits and to have a HEALTHY relationship with food. That's all I'm sayin. For now anyways.

I agree with this. We aren't overly restrictive with our kids (3 boys). We let them have junk food but they also have to eat the healthier options too. I think if you're too restrictive, it will blow up in your face and you'll have a kid with a very unhealthy relationship with food.

And I think you're going about it all wrong. She's 3... lighten up. All kids love peanut butter.

luv_lea

wow. Well....anyhow


The only rules I make are no treats until you've had dinner (or breakfast, lunch, whatever). 'Sometimes' same applies for drinks (real sugary drinks/sodas) until he has a glass of water first.

chiquitatwist

I limit my step son to one cup of tea a day because he puts so much sugar in it. He must have a vegetable with his lunch and dinner, but they are the only things on his plate that he MUST finish. Milk or water with dinner. He is a little overweight, but I would never tell him that. I emphasize that when we take walks it's because we need to keep our bodies healthy and never tell him it's to lose weight. His confidence in his body amazes me and makes me proud that I am raising a child who understands the importance of being healthy but doesn't let his weight motivate the way he feels about himself.

CJisinShape

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

reneepugh

I never mention being overweight or fat around my kids. However, our family does a lot of activity with them and they eat 3 healthy meals and if they want to eat outside of the prepared meals, I don't let them have junk and they have to choose either a fruit or veggie. We always keep a wide array of fruits and veggies they can quickly eat. The biggest advice I can give to any parent is to just lead by example when it comes to food. Also, I don't make food conversation a common topic.

CJisinShape

You may not want to use the word "fat". My daughter has used the word and we have had to have long discussions about it, and the fact it's not a word we use in our household.

As juliecat said, make it about boundaries and having a healthy relationship with food.
Ugh. using the word fat. Just disturbing. Don't do it again.

You want me to say obese?

oregonzoo

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

Well you really would be best to make it about being strong and healthy. Not using the word "fat". That's going to give her issues. It's really not an appropriate way to talk to a young child.

oregonzoo

You may not want to use the word "fat". My daughter has used the word and we have had to have long discussions about it, and the fact it's not a word we use in our household.

As juliecat said, make it about boundaries and having a healthy relationship with food.
Ugh. using the word fat. Just disturbing. Don't do it again.

You want me to say obese?

You give them the correct amount, tell them that is how much they get. When they question why, you say "don't you want to be big and strong and healthy, a proper diet is how to do this" it's not that hard.

corn63

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

Well, since you chose to single out my response which was one of the shorter, vague responses, I'll respond to you.


The stigma on being FAT in this society is damaging to a child. They know, because they learn at school, that being fat means being different. She needs to be taught in a subtle, kid friendly approach that eating healthy is the way to go. Exercise is fun. Not "You don't want to overeat the PB because you don't want to be fat. You don't want to be fat, do you?" I have a 10 year old sister who is, by all accounts, fat. Her mother TORTURED her as a small child. "Don't eat that! You'll get fat! You don't want to me fat like your older sister(me), do you??" Now, I HIGHLY doubt that you're commenting on her eating to that extent, so don't get your panties in a twist. But telling her that eating certain foods will make her fat, shame.

She needs to be taught moderation. Not that foods are off limits.

jr1985

"You have to watch what you do - if you eat pb out the jar 2 times, you might do it 3 times and if you do it enough, it will become a habit, where you do it without thinking. If you eat pb out the jar by habit you'll get fat, and you don't want to get fat - you want to be strong and healthy, right?"

I may not have used the word 'fat' personally... being only 3... she may think that 'fat' people are bad, make fun of them etc, and not fully understand about healthy vs fat, etc... But for everyone who is bashing her for it... I think she did the right thing as a parent... You learn your eating habits from a very young age... I wish my mom would have lovingly set stronger limits with me... if she had, perhaps I wouldn't have 120lbs to lose now...

mgmlap

My oldest used to hoard food..(issues from foster care)....so we had some food talks. ..but now..6 years in...conversations differ. is more teaching her about healthy eating..

For instance..she wants her body to look like this or that..i say stop eating junk food and work out..she says..."ya no"..i say then don't complain.

I do think the discussions depend on the age of the child... the older they are..the more in depth you can go. But I do agree the word "fat" can have negative affects..but then being in the moment..and then reflecting afterwards..always happens.

ElizabethRoad

You couldn't have said, "unlimited peanut butter is not good for you"?

juliecat1

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

No one is suggesting you say nothing and let her eat the whole jar of PB. She's 3! You serve her the correct serving size and serve it along side nutritionally balanced foods. That's what she gets to eat. She shouldn't have the option of getting the PB jar out of the fridge and taking a spoon to it at 3 years old.
As far as things like rotting teeth out or getting fat... I chose to not use those types of "threats" with my kids. Instead I encourage them to eat balanced so they have happy and healthy bodies.

DontStopB_Leakin

So, at three years of age, your daughter is already being fed that fat people are "bad" and thin people are "good".

Wow....someone's going to have some serious self love issues.

CJisinShape

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

Well, since you chose to single out my response which was one of the shorter, vague responses, I'll respond to you.


The stigma on being FAT in this society is damaging to a child. They know, because they learn at school, that being fat means being different. She needs to be taught in a subtle, kid friendly approach that eating healthy is the way to go. Exercise is fun. Not "You don't want to overeat the PB because you don't want to be fat. You don't want to be fat, do you?" I have a 10 year old sister who is, by all accounts, fat. Her mother TORTURED her as a small child. "Don't eat that! You'll get fat! You don't want to me fat like your older sister(me), do you??" Now, I HIGHLY doubt that you're commenting on her eating to that extent, so don't get your panties in a twist. But telling her that eating certain foods will make her fat, shame.

She needs to be taught moderation. Not that foods are off limits.

Please note I am teaching moderation. Pb sandwich, ok. Entire jar of pb, not ok. As for the use of the word fat - it is what it is. My children are highly prized by me as gifts from God. Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. It's called telling the truth, in love. Unconditional love does more for a child's self esteem than semantics.

aproc

Don't have kids but when I do they will be raised eating whole foods. I believe if they aren't growing up introduced to sweets and junk food then they will more likely freach for fruits and such for snacks rather than junk when a bit older. I'm not going to ban them from having junk when they are a bit older and going out to school, with friends and such. It just won't be in my house much.

BodyRockerVT

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

Well, since you chose to single out my response which was one of the shorter, vague responses, I'll respond to you.


The stigma on being FAT in this society is damaging to a child. They know, because they learn at school, that being fat means being different. She needs to be taught in a subtle, kid friendly approach that eating healthy is the way to go. Exercise is fun. Not "You don't want to overeat the PB because you don't want to be fat. You don't want to be fat, do you?" I have a 10 year old sister who is, by all accounts, fat. Her mother TORTURED her as a small child. "Don't eat that! You'll get fat! You don't want to me fat like your older sister(me), do you??" Now, I HIGHLY doubt that you're commenting on her eating to that extent, so don't get your panties in a twist. But telling her that eating certain foods will make her fat, shame.

She needs to be taught moderation. Not that foods are off limits.

Please note I am teaching moderation. Pb sandwich, ok. Entire jar of pb, not ok. As for the use of the word fat - it is what it is. My children are highly prized by me as gifts from God. Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. It's called telling the truth, in love. Unconditional love does more for a child's self esteem than semantics.

The kid is THREE. Three years old. Not 16. Even if "fat" is the truth "unhealthy" would be better. Even better would be offering her a different healthy snack as you take the PB away. She needs to focus on eating well because there WILL be times when she plumps up before a growth spurt or near puberty and her thinking she is "fat" is not a good way to foster a healthy relationship with food. At all.

Im_NotPerfect

We teach moderation with our kids. If they want a snack, they know they're welcome to eat any of the fruit or veggies in the house. Or depending on how close to a meal, they can have yogurt or a cheese stick.

As far as using the "fat" word, I probably would have gone more the route of "you'll spread germs by eating it out of the jar"...we tend to be germophobes in our house. They know that Mommy exercises to be heathy and strong. Not to lose weight.

They're going to hear the "fat" word sooner or later...unfortunately. But it's better not to give it a bad rap at this point.

MILFdoesabodyGd

My ex mother in law and sister in law have huge issues with food. The sister in law was chubby as a teen and is now very obsessive about what she eats, and has no self esteem whatsoever. I am scared to death their stigma is going to rub off on my daughter, who is already a twig, eats like a bird, and is very picky.

I try to say things like "you need to eat right and eat good foods so you can be healthy and grow." or "your body needs nutrition and foods that are good for you because you are growing every day" I will never ever tell her she's going to get "fat" because I am afraid this will be her fear, and eventually she may develop an eating disorder, become obsessive, and/or never feel good about herself.

My son on the other hand is not picky at all and eats constantly.

A rule I use for both of them is healthy snacking, limited candy, and no snacks unless they eat a good meal.

tilliesmom9

That makes me kind of sad that you told her she didn't want to be fat.

BUT, parenting doesn't come with a manual and you just do the best you can by trying to do the next right thing for your child.
Nobody is a perfect parent (expect the people who don't have any kids and in their mind they have all the answers).

misao1994

I'm not a mother but my sister is and I lived with her and her son for a while, so I know how he eats. They pretty much monitor every thing he eats. Both her and his father have a over weight background and don't want the same for their son. He's not allowed to eat any meat unless it's organic and grain fed or from a local butcher. Chicken they aren't so "strict" on, but he's absolutely not allowed to eat red meat unless it's from a local butcher. He has to eat all of his vegetables, about 2 servings, before he's allowed to have his main dish. Whether it's a sandwich or whatever, and he's not allowed to drink soda on a regular basis. I think there's a happy middle and my sister is on the more extreme side, but you can also let your kids have anything and they become obese. You shouldn't, in my opinion, give them a cookie just because they throw a fit about it. But they also shouldn't be taught that veggies are a punishment or the way to get to the cookie. Because my brother broke that idea with my niece and now if she had a choice it's fruit over any piece of sweets. She also love veggies, same with my cousins little girl. I think it all depends on how you raise your children too! But food rules aren't really rules, they're teaching your children what to eat and what not to eat so they'll be successful adults.

Im_NotPerfect

Don't have kids but when I do they will be raised eating whole foods. I believe if they aren't growing up introduced to sweets and junk food then they will more likely freach for fruits and such for snacks rather than junk when a bit older. I'm not going to ban them from having junk when they are a bit older and going out to school, with friends and such. It just won't be in my house much.

You can try this...trust me we did. But there will come a time, at about age 3 or 4, when they go to birthday parties or treats are brought to day care and school and they are exposed to it. Then they start asking why they can't have it. Then you have to explain to them healthy vs. unhealthy, etc. You can try to keep the world out, but it has a way of sneaking past you....

CarleyLovesPets

I think it would have been a lot more beneficial to say ... Eating a jar of peanut butter isn't healthy. You want to be big, strong and healthy right? So you have to watch what you eat because if you eat too much of some things, it's not healthy for you.

PhotogNerd

I'm honest about life to a point, meaning what I think they can process and handle at the moment.

Food wise, yes I've taught them moderation is key. They've all adjusted very well to our food overhaul over the past few years.

They almost exclusively drink water now with the occasional soda at a restaurant. They eat fruits, veg, fish even, happily now.

Now we're working on developing good exercise habits for all, even the 6 yr old.

We'll see how they each adjust to the soon to come gluten free change we'll be making.

Shayztar

I don't use the word fat with my daughter. I don't even say the word diet in front of her. We talk about vitamins and eating foods that make you grow up healthy and strong.

I doubt peanut butter alone would cause obesity. There are likely other aspects of a diet that would lend itself to that. Sure, if my kid ate a whole jar of peanut butter often, she might get fat in the long run, but I also imagine she would get sick to her stomach before that would happen. Probably sick of peanut butter too. LOL

To answer your question...the rules in my house are to serve the kids 3 of the 4 food groups at every meal. They will try to eat one bite of each, but I NEVER force them to eat anything. Every meal has a fruit and/or vegetable. I usually offer healthy snacks too.

However, if my daughter is suddenly on a peanut butter kick, I wouldn't stop her. I would imagine she is craving protein or fats, and a growth spurt is probably around the corner.

p.s. my daughter is 3 also.