Food rules for your kids?

aproc

Don't have kids but when I do they will be raised eating whole foods. I believe if they aren't growing up introduced to sweets and junk food then they will more likely freach for fruits and such for snacks rather than junk when a bit older. I'm not going to ban them from having junk when they are a bit older and going out to school, with friends and such. It just won't be in my house much.

BodyRockerVT

You told your child she'll get fat and she doesn't want to be fat?...


Yikes.

I was a thin child, a fat kid, a thin teenager, and a fat adult. From personal experience, I am telling her that habits matter. There are too many kids with obesity related illnesses in the US right now. My sister has diabetes, after years of eating peanut butter from the jar. We tell our kids they can't have unlimited candy because it rots teeth - if I said, you can't have anymore candy because you don't want to have an ugly smile - you want to have a healthy mouth, right? No one would be saying yikes about that. I am supposed to train my child in the way that they should go. Allowing her to go through a jar of peanut. Utter in one fell swoop with my genetic history would be ignoring my duty to her as her mother.

Well, since you chose to single out my response which was one of the shorter, vague responses, I'll respond to you.


The stigma on being FAT in this society is damaging to a child. They know, because they learn at school, that being fat means being different. She needs to be taught in a subtle, kid friendly approach that eating healthy is the way to go. Exercise is fun. Not "You don't want to overeat the PB because you don't want to be fat. You don't want to be fat, do you?" I have a 10 year old sister who is, by all accounts, fat. Her mother TORTURED her as a small child. "Don't eat that! You'll get fat! You don't want to me fat like your older sister(me), do you??" Now, I HIGHLY doubt that you're commenting on her eating to that extent, so don't get your panties in a twist. But telling her that eating certain foods will make her fat, shame.

She needs to be taught moderation. Not that foods are off limits.

Please note I am teaching moderation. Pb sandwich, ok. Entire jar of pb, not ok. As for the use of the word fat - it is what it is. My children are highly prized by me as gifts from God. Sometimes it's not what you say, but how you say it. It's called telling the truth, in love. Unconditional love does more for a child's self esteem than semantics.

The kid is THREE. Three years old. Not 16. Even if "fat" is the truth "unhealthy" would be better. Even better would be offering her a different healthy snack as you take the PB away. She needs to focus on eating well because there WILL be times when she plumps up before a growth spurt or near puberty and her thinking she is "fat" is not a good way to foster a healthy relationship with food. At all.

Im_NotPerfect

We teach moderation with our kids. If they want a snack, they know they're welcome to eat any of the fruit or veggies in the house. Or depending on how close to a meal, they can have yogurt or a cheese stick.

As far as using the "fat" word, I probably would have gone more the route of "you'll spread germs by eating it out of the jar"...we tend to be germophobes in our house. They know that Mommy exercises to be heathy and strong. Not to lose weight.

They're going to hear the "fat" word sooner or later...unfortunately. But it's better not to give it a bad rap at this point.

MILFdoesabodyGd

My ex mother in law and sister in law have huge issues with food. The sister in law was chubby as a teen and is now very obsessive about what she eats, and has no self esteem whatsoever. I am scared to death their stigma is going to rub off on my daughter, who is already a twig, eats like a bird, and is very picky.

I try to say things like "you need to eat right and eat good foods so you can be healthy and grow." or "your body needs nutrition and foods that are good for you because you are growing every day" I will never ever tell her she's going to get "fat" because I am afraid this will be her fear, and eventually she may develop an eating disorder, become obsessive, and/or never feel good about herself.

My son on the other hand is not picky at all and eats constantly.

A rule I use for both of them is healthy snacking, limited candy, and no snacks unless they eat a good meal.

tilliesmom9

That makes me kind of sad that you told her she didn't want to be fat.

BUT, parenting doesn't come with a manual and you just do the best you can by trying to do the next right thing for your child.
Nobody is a perfect parent (expect the people who don't have any kids and in their mind they have all the answers).

misao1994

I'm not a mother but my sister is and I lived with her and her son for a while, so I know how he eats. They pretty much monitor every thing he eats. Both her and his father have a over weight background and don't want the same for their son. He's not allowed to eat any meat unless it's organic and grain fed or from a local butcher. Chicken they aren't so "strict" on, but he's absolutely not allowed to eat red meat unless it's from a local butcher. He has to eat all of his vegetables, about 2 servings, before he's allowed to have his main dish. Whether it's a sandwich or whatever, and he's not allowed to drink soda on a regular basis. I think there's a happy middle and my sister is on the more extreme side, but you can also let your kids have anything and they become obese. You shouldn't, in my opinion, give them a cookie just because they throw a fit about it. But they also shouldn't be taught that veggies are a punishment or the way to get to the cookie. Because my brother broke that idea with my niece and now if she had a choice it's fruit over any piece of sweets. She also love veggies, same with my cousins little girl. I think it all depends on how you raise your children too! But food rules aren't really rules, they're teaching your children what to eat and what not to eat so they'll be successful adults.

Im_NotPerfect

Don't have kids but when I do they will be raised eating whole foods. I believe if they aren't growing up introduced to sweets and junk food then they will more likely freach for fruits and such for snacks rather than junk when a bit older. I'm not going to ban them from having junk when they are a bit older and going out to school, with friends and such. It just won't be in my house much.

You can try this...trust me we did. But there will come a time, at about age 3 or 4, when they go to birthday parties or treats are brought to day care and school and they are exposed to it. Then they start asking why they can't have it. Then you have to explain to them healthy vs. unhealthy, etc. You can try to keep the world out, but it has a way of sneaking past you....

CarleyLovesPets

I think it would have been a lot more beneficial to say ... Eating a jar of peanut butter isn't healthy. You want to be big, strong and healthy right? So you have to watch what you eat because if you eat too much of some things, it's not healthy for you.

PhotogNerd

I'm honest about life to a point, meaning what I think they can process and handle at the moment.

Food wise, yes I've taught them moderation is key. They've all adjusted very well to our food overhaul over the past few years.

They almost exclusively drink water now with the occasional soda at a restaurant. They eat fruits, veg, fish even, happily now.

Now we're working on developing good exercise habits for all, even the 6 yr old.

We'll see how they each adjust to the soon to come gluten free change we'll be making.

Shayztar

I don't use the word fat with my daughter. I don't even say the word diet in front of her. We talk about vitamins and eating foods that make you grow up healthy and strong.

I doubt peanut butter alone would cause obesity. There are likely other aspects of a diet that would lend itself to that. Sure, if my kid ate a whole jar of peanut butter often, she might get fat in the long run, but I also imagine she would get sick to her stomach before that would happen. Probably sick of peanut butter too. LOL

To answer your question...the rules in my house are to serve the kids 3 of the 4 food groups at every meal. They will try to eat one bite of each, but I NEVER force them to eat anything. Every meal has a fruit and/or vegetable. I usually offer healthy snacks too.

However, if my daughter is suddenly on a peanut butter kick, I wouldn't stop her. I would imagine she is craving protein or fats, and a growth spurt is probably around the corner.

p.s. my daughter is 3 also.

ElleBee615

But she's 3 and we're talking about peanut butter :indifferent:

I think you should focus on teaching her to make healthy choices and not her possibly becoming fat....and hell at that age, you control what she eats anyway....

2Bgoddess

*avoiding the direction this thread has taken and attempting a redirect*

Rules at my house....
1. No one eats in the bedrooms
2. Clean up after yourself
3. One bowl of cereal a day (they love it, they would eat it all day)
4. Everyone TRIES every food at meal times
5. Afternoon snack is, or includes fresh fruit
6. Food goes in a dish( my reason, a bowl of chips is better than the whole bag)
7. Share. No one needs a whole bag of popcorn!

CJisinShape

So, at three years of age, your daughter is already being fed that fat people are "bad" and thin people are "good".

Wow....someone's going to have some serious self love issues.

Where did you get that idea? She loves her mom, and her mom is fat. My mother commented on this girl, that she already knows how to wrap mom and dad around her fingers. This child is super smart and talented (plays 2 songs on piano, knows alphabet, phonics, count to twenty, use computer, etc.). She's always smiling. Self esteem is definitely not her issue, but it would be if I turned a blind eye to eating pb out the jar. When she was a baby, I would get comments: she certainly hasn't missed any meals! All my kids were huge babies, but once they started running around got slim. If I didn't train her to not eat pb out the jar, and never used the word fat, guess what would happen? That's right, people at the playground would say it, with a mean or indifferent attitude, and they would be hurt. Better not to play semantic games and be truthful and loving with your kids.

freedski1

My mom used a similar analogy with me when i was about eight: I was complaining about weighing 70 lbs. She said, "Well, just be careful, or 70 lbs will become 80 and 80lbs will become 90..."
That's where my fear of neverending, unstoppable weight gain came from. That story was told to me nearly twenty years ago.

Please, please please be careful with what you're telling your kids... about their bodies, about food... These kinds of things leave scars.

avocado12

No food is banned (within reason of course) and we have everything in moderation.

CJisinShape

That makes me kind of sad that you told her she didn't want to be fat.

BUT, parenting doesn't come with a manual and you just do the best you can by trying to do the next right thing for your child.
Nobody is a perfect parent (expect the people who don't have any kids and in their mind they have all the answers).

Does she? Do you? Want to be fat?

Thanks for understanding! I like that while you didn't agree, you can see both sides to the issue. If only politicians... :-)

kitigonkukoo

“It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely.”


I have a niece who went to the Dr. when she was 6 for her physical. It was about 4 months after she’d started gymnastics, and she’d packed on a shocking amount of muscle on her legs.
The Dr told her and her mother (before even checking her out, just based on her scale weight), that she was over weight for her age, and they’d better be careful wither diet so she doesn’t get any more fat.
My niece has had a self-image issue and food complex from that day on- and she’s only just turned 10.
She’s even lying about eating now- skips meals entirely but will say she ate. (To be clear- she’s skinny, with much less muscle and she still thinks she’s fat).
When I asked her about it, she said she’s just so scared of being/staying fat, and she thinks this is the only way she will stay “skinny”.
At this point- no one can tell her otherwise. She’s already internalized what that ridiculous Dr said, and nothing else really matters. Now we’re all just trying to keep an eye on her, and we’re trying to help her work around this so that it doesn’t get any worse.

My point in this story:
Though you mean well, and you are just trying to make sure your daughter doesn’t go through what you went through ( I understand- I was the same as you growing up), be very careful at the words you choose to use. You never know what will stick, and you would feel awful later on in life if she did develop destructive eating habits, and it started with a few ill-chosen words that were meant to help, not hurt.
She’s 3- so what sticks is really up in the air. IJust stay supportive, and positive!

As far as "kid food" goes- no fast food, extremely limited soda, and limited sugar in all forms but fruit.

mmimmi1

Why can't she even reach the PB jar? My son is 6 and if he wants something to eat or snack he asks first, even with juice. We all love our kids but boundries should be set and it should be an all around rule not just with PB or sodas. My rules is simple...I don't want him to eat something I don't buy it and don't keep it in the house ... or not where he can access it ... I'm in control not the 6 year old.

MILFdoesabodyGd

when my daughter was 3 she would sneak reese cups 15 at a time into her room and eat them. I would find the wrappers hidden under teddy bears and such.

she's almost 8 now and her teeth are not in great shape, the dental work has cost a fortune. I would never have told her her teeth would be ugly either, I would say "sugar bugs in those reese cups and if you eat too many the sugar bugs will get your teeth" (advice from a pediatric dentist)

As far as her health and something to say opposed to the "you'll get fat", a nicer way to put it: "you cannot eat this many reese cups all day. It will make your belly hurt and it's not good for your body. Your body needs foods that are healthy so your body can grow."

I am still just baffled you said "you'll get fat" ...

I am also baffled you find this a healthy way of teaching your child.

But, who am I to tell anyone how to parent....

CJisinShape

I think it would have been a lot more beneficial to say ... Eating a jar of peanut butter isn't healthy. You want to be big, strong and healthy right? So you have to watch what you eat because if you eat too much of some things, it's not healthy for you.

I understand where you are coming from. I don't know that my daughter would. I know she knows what fat and thin means - dr Seuss one fish red fish blue fish two fish book, but what does healthy mean to her? I try to explain germs and healthy, but she still wants to put things in her mouth that was on the floor. So I say yuck! She gets that something is yucky, she understands fat and thin. And saying healthy vs fat, isn't it truly the same thing? When you say healthy, you mean not overweight or not fat.