Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND
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Bad advice. Having an erection doesn't turn on desire. Testosterone works the best.I have a solution. It will take few steps though.
Starting from tomorrow, start adding a little bit of Viagra(Cialis would work as well) to his drinks, do it without his knowledge of course and keep doing that every day little by little higher the dose, at one point he will want to have a sex so badly, then you decline - you can say "I have a headache" or whatever bull**** sentence you woman's use in that kind of situation. Tomorrow of course you don't need to higher the dose since you find his "breaking point" and proceed having sex with him.0 -
Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.
Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?
Extremely bad idea. Extremely. And the threading to cut tv cord. Bad idea.0 -
I'm in that same boat and we do go out on dates! Its like I'm out with my brother! I mean really! Lost time we went out I wore a pair of heels and he said he won't go if I wore them cuz I was taller and now thinner then him! Really! Hang in there! I have done just about everything thing every one else is saying and well, I'm still waiting for him to come around! Good luck, if you figure out how to make yours MAGIC MIKE! Please pass that info along!0
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Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.
Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?
Yeeeaaaa... That may have been the worst slew of advice ever. lol I see where you're coming from, but men need respect - just like women need adoration. This won't work. Believe me. Been there. Tried that. Got kicked to the curb. As well as called a sl** on my way from the doorstep to the curb. Not your best option. lol TRUST.
Yeah...my libido pretty much died after we had our last baby. I know my husband has been frustrated as all hell with me (it's slowly getting better the more active I am though. YAY) But seriously, if his method would have been to go get attention from other women on purpose, it would have killed it even further and my response probably would have been to tell him to go ahead and get it from other girls cause he's never getting it from me again! No not the way to fix something. I get hit on a lot when I'm out. Mostly by the crackhead at BP. I always take it as a compliment and kindly flash my wedding band, but I would never try to get hit on on purpose. I have way too much respect for my husband to do something like that.
I just had my first child and my hubby has been so patient with me and the I hardly have a sex drive. But if he had in anyway done this I would have taken our daughter and left him so fast. We talked about it, and things are getting better. Slowly but they are specially since both of us are working on our diets.
Best of luck to the OP, hope things work out for you, but please do not listen to this posters advice.0 -
Ummm, everyone always blames the their partner. Do we ever think it could be ourselves causing the non-interest???0
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Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.
Wow, such great advice. Are you in high school??? Very immature advice.0 -
ITT: future cheaters
also I love how everyone's jumping my *kitten* just because I'm a virgin. Just because I'm one doesn't mean my opinion is completely irrelevant. Yeah I get I don't know what it's like. yeah I get it people LOVE sex. What I DON'T get is why it turns people into the worst people in this world.0 -
Wow, WTF is going on with these husbands. I wouldn't turn my wife down if I was a coma...Geez. this is how affairs start.
I was thinking THE SAME THING! LOL0 -
ITT: future cheaters
also I love how everyone's jumping my *kitten* just because I'm a virgin. Just because I'm one doesn't mean my opinion is completely irrelevant. Yeah I get I don't know what it's like. yeah I get it people LOVE sex. What I DON'T get is why it turns people into the worst people in this world.
It's not the sex that makes them that way, hon. They were that way all along.
Some people just want what they want, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it. Guns don't make people murder innocents. Sex doesn't make people cheaters. It's all the same.0 -
Guys like to chase...if you're always giving it to him and letting him know how "available" you are ... it can be a real turn off. Try calmin your heels and waiting HIM out for a change. Then turn him down a few times. See if you don't have a raving sex lunatic on your hands on his 3rd attempt to bed ya.0
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Digging all the statements saying women should just force the issue and start unzipping his pants even if he doesn't want it.
If a guy does that to a girl there is another name for it...
Your husband is depressed, doesn't love himself, or doesn't love you. If he hasn't talked about leaving you, its probably a combination of the first two. Don't belittle your husband on the internet to strangers, it clearly shows you don't respect him.
To be honest, I would be a little embarrassed to admit to a group of strangers that my spouse wasn't interested in me.
Yes! Seriously people... I would never take advantage of my husband like that. The few times he has turned me down, I leave him alone, because "no" means no, whether I say it or he says it.0 -
I read this about 15 minutes ago and still have no words....if my wife was like this I would be burning about 20,000 calories a day!!!!!!!!0
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Bump0
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Cannot believe this downer of a thread is still going and the positive ones are not...figures, it's just like the news, I guess.0
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He might have low testosterone. That would cause low sex drive, low energy, and weight gain.0
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He has just gotten so damn lazy since he got out of the ARMY i mean god I think he has gained at least 40lbs I have pointed it out to him!
Sorry to be a bit of a downer but it could be just this. The fact you have said that to him. If he had told you that you got lazy & fat......... see. You would not be very happy either. In fact there would be a vent coming from anyone who was told that even if it was true. I think you may have hurt some feelings & he's not quite ready to wipe that away, I know I would still be very very hurt by that.0 -
thanks for reminding me not to get married ;D
^^ THIS ^^ Win!0 -
Honey, don't hold your breath. Hate to be a downer but went through this with my late husband. Invited him to join me constantly for walks and light exercise but got nowhere. You have to do it for you and we can't change the people in our lives, only the way we deal with them. I wish you all the luck in the world. pbcmnipper
so, so true0 -
One thing you need to understand about men... when we get fat and lazy, (and older) our testerone drops off like a brick from a cliff and that could be part of hte problem. I'm not trying to make excuses for the guy, because I think any man would be fortunate to have their wife beg them for sex, most don't. just sayin'' but if there is a problem with testosterone, then you can jump up and down and do what you want, it won't change the libido. working out certainly does that, because the testosterone starts increasing again, so try and get him to do that. but like others have said, you can't change how others react, only yourself, so do what you need to make yourself happy. and if that means battery power to the rescue, then so be it... if that doesn't help get him off the couch, then just make sure that you are getting what you need.0
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Counseling.... otherwise.. find relief alternatives..0
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You got to keep it spicey! Have you asked him about fantasies or fetishes? Do you ever mix it up and not use the bed for a change? Any oils, edible undies, include toys for foreplay, etc? Is there even foreplay? How involved are you? Do you use different positions or is always the same old routine? How about using some role playing?
A mixture of all this will defintely keep things interesting....if your man is still not slinging that purple helmeted yogurt thrower around then like Obama said, "It's time for a change!"0 -
He maybe is depressed or has something wrong with him that needs to be medically looked at. My husband was in the National Guard and he seemed to gain his weight while being in the military but when he retired last year he lost 40 lbs. Your husband might have deeper issues he might need to go through so gaming and eating is his way of coping. I dunno, you should tell him how you feel.0
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adameve.com
you can find something to play with here!
This. Check Fredrick's of Hollywood and Hustler, too. Lots of fun goodies to enjoy.0 -
I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...
yes, it's because you're a virgin. when you find the one you're meant to be with, you'll discover it's the most wonderful physical expression of your love.0 -
As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.0
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I can tell you from experience that if you "beg" for it all the time or even just bring it up often, it will become a chore in his mind, not something to be enjoyed.
Just try being more casual with him about it, I found that is what has worked for me. Hubby still doesn't want it as much as I do, but he works full time and I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I know he works hard and is often very tired at the end of the day, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want sex or intimacy. Try doing something for him and not asking for anything back - if you know what I mean, even while he's watching TV, just go for it.
Maybe you need to rekindle the romance in your relationship; bring back the intimacy, and I mean non-physical intimacy. Talk to him about his interests and genuinely listen and offer insight or thoughts about what he likes. Participate in his hobbies with him if you can, just take interest in him. Make him dinner or lunch for work, or breakfast before he leaves. Dress up really nice for no reason.
If all else fails, there's always divorce. Not the ideal situation for you, obviously, but life is too short to be miserable. Best of luck to you!
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As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.
MFP Forums: Can't Relate? Better Comment.0 -
tie him up and rape him...no other alternative
I'm officially done with the MFP forums
We won't miss you anymore than you aren't missing sex.
Ummmm rape is NOT sex. Rape is Rape.... simple as that.... despite how anyone tries to justify it.0 -
edited cause I double posted0
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enjoy your stds and accidental child I'll be over here doin it with someone I actually care about while not forcing them or dehumanizing them for sex.As for the OP, I just can't relate to turning down sex. Even when I was at my heaviest, I never turned it down.
wow whenenever someone can't have their sex or lean someone is a virgin people get MAD hahahaha
edit: before anyone asks "well if you love him so much why aren't you having sex you're just jealous!!"
it's because I'm not on birth control yet and I'm not an idiot0
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