Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

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  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
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    I have a solution. It will take few steps though.

    Starting from tomorrow, start adding a little bit of Viagra(Cialis would work as well) to his drinks, do it without his knowledge of course and keep doing that every day little by little higher the dose, at one point he will want to have a sex so badly, then you decline - you can say "I have a headache" or whatever bull**** sentence you woman's use in that kind of situation. Tomorrow of course you don't need to higher the dose since you find his "breaking point" and proceed having sex with him.
    Bad advice. Having an erection doesn't turn on desire. Testosterone works the best.
  • CJisinShape
    CJisinShape Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?

    Extremely bad idea. Extremely. And the threading to cut tv cord. Bad idea.
  • MsDivineM
    MsDivineM Posts: 48
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    I'm in that same boat and we do go out on dates! Its like I'm out with my brother! I mean really! Lost time we went out I wore a pair of heels and he said he won't go if I wore them cuz I was taller and now thinner then him! Really! Hang in there! I have done just about everything thing every one else is saying and well, I'm still waiting for him to come around! Good luck, if you figure out how to make yours MAGIC MIKE! Please pass that info along!
  • Irishmoonwitch
    Irishmoonwitch Posts: 97
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Did you seriously just suggest she make her husband jealous? Seriously. You seriously suggested that she go get attention from other men on purpose? You really think that's gonna fix something?


    Yeeeaaaa... That may have been the worst slew of advice ever. lol I see where you're coming from, but men need respect - just like women need adoration. This won't work. Believe me. Been there. Tried that. Got kicked to the curb. As well as called a sl** on my way from the doorstep to the curb. Not your best option. lol TRUST.


    Yeah...my libido pretty much died after we had our last baby. I know my husband has been frustrated as all hell with me (it's slowly getting better the more active I am though. YAY) But seriously, if his method would have been to go get attention from other women on purpose, it would have killed it even further and my response probably would have been to tell him to go ahead and get it from other girls cause he's never getting it from me again! No not the way to fix something. I get hit on a lot when I'm out. Mostly by the crackhead at BP. I always take it as a compliment and kindly flash my wedding band, but I would never try to get hit on on purpose. I have way too much respect for my husband to do something like that.


    I just had my first child and my hubby has been so patient with me and the I hardly have a sex drive. But if he had in anyway done this I would have taken our daughter and left him so fast. We talked about it, and things are getting better. Slowly but they are specially since both of us are working on our diets.

    Best of luck to the OP, hope things work out for you, but please do not listen to this posters advice.
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
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    Ummm, everyone always blames the their partner. Do we ever think it could be ourselves causing the non-interest???
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
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    Girl, if he doesn't pay attention to you, you need to start leaving the house all dressed up and looking good. Even if it's going out to the store, let other men compliment you and make you feel good. You can let him know about it when you get home. Start going out without him and make him wonder what you're up to. It might take some time, so yeah, maybe you'll need some of what the others suggested.... In fact, that might get him interested. Stop doing the things you do for him on an every day basis (whether it be cooking dinner or washing his clothes, etc.) and let him know if he's not gonna take care of your needs, you're not going to take care of his. In fact, (thank God my husband doesn't like sports) but I'd go stand in front of him with a pair of scissors, walk over to the TV cord, and threaten to make sure he won't have the choice to pick the tv over you anymore. You probably need to tell him what you told us, and tell him seriously. Let him know exactly how he's making you feel.


    Wow, such great advice. Are you in high school??? Very immature advice.
  • patroleumjam
    patroleumjam Posts: 23
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    ITT: future cheaters

    also I love how everyone's jumping my *kitten* just because I'm a virgin. Just because I'm one doesn't mean my opinion is completely irrelevant. Yeah I get I don't know what it's like. yeah I get it people LOVE sex. What I DON'T get is why it turns people into the worst people in this world.
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    Wow, WTF is going on with these husbands. I wouldn't turn my wife down if I was a coma...Geez. this is how affairs start.

    I was thinking THE SAME THING! LOL
  • 55AngelH55
    55AngelH55 Posts: 117
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    ITT: future cheaters

    also I love how everyone's jumping my *kitten* just because I'm a virgin. Just because I'm one doesn't mean my opinion is completely irrelevant. Yeah I get I don't know what it's like. yeah I get it people LOVE sex. What I DON'T get is why it turns people into the worst people in this world.

    It's not the sex that makes them that way, hon. They were that way all along.
    Some people just want what they want, and they'll do whatever it takes to get it. Guns don't make people murder innocents. Sex doesn't make people cheaters. It's all the same.
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
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    Guys like to chase...if you're always giving it to him and letting him know how "available" you are ... it can be a real turn off. Try calmin your heels and waiting HIM out for a change. Then turn him down a few times. See if you don't have a raving sex lunatic on your hands on his 3rd attempt to bed ya.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
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    Digging all the statements saying women should just force the issue and start unzipping his pants even if he doesn't want it.

    If a guy does that to a girl there is another name for it...

    Your husband is depressed, doesn't love himself, or doesn't love you. If he hasn't talked about leaving you, its probably a combination of the first two. Don't belittle your husband on the internet to strangers, it clearly shows you don't respect him.

    To be honest, I would be a little embarrassed to admit to a group of strangers that my spouse wasn't interested in me.

    Yes! Seriously people... I would never take advantage of my husband like that. The few times he has turned me down, I leave him alone, because "no" means no, whether I say it or he says it.
  • bennysammysofie
    bennysammysofie Posts: 331
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    I read this about 15 minutes ago and still have no words....if my wife was like this I would be burning about 20,000 calories a day!!!!!!!!
  • jnagy9886
    jnagy9886 Posts: 48 Member
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    Bump
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
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    Cannot believe this downer of a thread is still going and the positive ones are not...figures, it's just like the news, I guess.
  • mrmaxpowers
    mrmaxpowers Posts: 16
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    He might have low testosterone. That would cause low sex drive, low energy, and weight gain.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
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    He has just gotten so damn lazy since he got out of the ARMY i mean god I think he has gained at least 40lbs I have pointed it out to him!

    Sorry to be a bit of a downer but it could be just this. The fact you have said that to him. If he had told you that you got lazy & fat......... see. You would not be very happy either. In fact there would be a vent coming from anyone who was told that even if it was true. I think you may have hurt some feelings & he's not quite ready to wipe that away, I know I would still be very very hurt by that.
  • itsjustdawn
    itsjustdawn Posts: 1,073 Member
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    thanks for reminding me not to get married ;D

    ^^ THIS ^^ Win!
  • dadof2boyz
    dadof2boyz Posts: 156 Member
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    Honey, don't hold your breath. Hate to be a downer but went through this with my late husband. Invited him to join me constantly for walks and light exercise but got nowhere. You have to do it for you and we can't change the people in our lives, only the way we deal with them. I wish you all the luck in the world. pbcmnipper

    so, so true
  • dadof2boyz
    dadof2boyz Posts: 156 Member
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    One thing you need to understand about men... when we get fat and lazy, (and older) our testerone drops off like a brick from a cliff and that could be part of hte problem. I'm not trying to make excuses for the guy, because I think any man would be fortunate to have their wife beg them for sex, most don't. just sayin'' but if there is a problem with testosterone, then you can jump up and down and do what you want, it won't change the libido. working out certainly does that, because the testosterone starts increasing again, so try and get him to do that. but like others have said, you can't change how others react, only yourself, so do what you need to make yourself happy. and if that means battery power to the rescue, then so be it... if that doesn't help get him off the couch, then just make sure that you are getting what you need.
  • F__7
    F__7 Posts: 371 Member
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    Counseling.... otherwise.. find relief alternatives..

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