Need to Vent!!! I THINK I LOVE MY HUSBAND

rocksyraeis

this begging you are speaking of....are you on your knees while begging? I find begging while on your knees is much more effective...

:flowerforyou:

LilMissSunshine_

Have you offered *kitten*?


Or get some good ol' Hookers & blow, that usually sets the mood.

TheFitHooker

Since I've dropped most my weight (with about 15 more to go) I am always wanting it. My husband, not so much. I know where you are coming from. My husband has put on weight while I was losing it. It's like he found about 50 of the 115 (very close to 115 gone just not a weigh in day yet) I've lost. He don't look bad, if he decided to workout and tone it up he'd be smoking! I think he is gorgeous how he is and don't mind that he's put on weight. He also quit smoking.

Just last night I came home from work and all that was on my mind was going to bed and ya know the rest, well I get in and he *****es that I stayed after work talking with some people and eating my dinner that he knew I was gonna do. All because he was tired and yet he stayed up an hour after I got home. I was ticked cus he made me feel guilty for chatting with friends, I don't have many friends because he never wants to do anything so I'm never invited to do things. The first time I hang out with a few people after work I am made to feel guilty and then he totally puts me off. I don't get him sometimes. I also know that he has been worried I'm going to leave him but all I think about is him. If I wanted to be with another man I KNOW I could be, considering I've had a few men here lately try to hook up with me and all I can think about is my husband because he is the only man I want. I feel like he pushes me away a lot though. It sucks, I think working out though gives our sex drive a boost, I'm 30yrs old and believe I've hit my peek as well so my sex drive is through the roof. I could totally go for it 2 or 3 times a day but lucky to get it 1 or 2 times a week if that.

pittskaa

same problem with my boyfriend for awhile, so i just stopped asking for it and magically a week later he suddenly wanted it. haha.

deadbeatsummer

I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.

Yes, it's because you're a virgin.

Definetely agree, it's because you are a virgin.

staceface519

Ok seriously what guy in the world turns down sex when there wife is basically begging for it! WTF I understand "sex" is not what makes a marriage, BUT since I dropped the 10 lbs Still have a ways to go (45) and been working out 5x a week its all that is on my mind. All my husband wants to do is sit on the damn couch be boring and eat chips. I do not get it in any way, been married to the man since I was 17 WTF. He has just gotten so damn lazy since he got out of the ARMY i mean god I think he has gained atleast 40lbs I have pointed it out to him! Like everyone already knows until he wants to change it, its not gonna change!


Anyways sorry just had to get it out GRRR. Please no negativity its not like that at all.
Anyone feel free to add me!

I had the SAME problem with my ex. . . . i wanted it all the time and he never wanted it. . . but when he DID want i wouldnt give it to him and say " oh NOW u want it but when i want it u dont give it, not gonna happen". . after that he started giving in HAHA. but if all he wants to do is sit on the couch eating chips is sounds deeper then him just being lazy. . .

dward2011

I did not read any other posts. Just wondering- have you actually asked him why he isn't interested?

brianblinn

Sit on the other end of the couch with a B.O.B. & get the job done. When he asks tell him that since his "Army of One" can't/wont get the job done, you called in support.

RAFValentina

He might not be feeling as great as you.... For many, leaving the armed forces is like cutting off their leg or a vital organ. You take away their purpose and routine and the regimented lifestyle and they don't do so good. Just saying...it's probably not you, but something else going on for him.

I don't know how I'll cope when I have to leave the military...thankfully for me I have at least another 16 years left and hopefully will extend beyond that.

DarthCeltic

women.. its a simple fix.. let me help.. take pics.. then show them.. they will be so disgusted that you got with me..

they will have to get with you as they will feel that they were one upped.. and then threaten in the future to go back to the "dark side" and they will give it on the spot..

this thread is full of #win

sarahharmintx

When he is on the couch and I want it, I walk out of the bedroom and say "Im going to have sex. You're welcome to join me." That usually motivates him to get up. Oh and RAF is right. For some, getting out of the military is VERY emotionally difficult and he may not be able to express that.

gshoemaker06

I heard males hit their peak sex drive around 16/17 while females hit it around 30.... just sayin.

ErinBeth7

thats what you get for trying to get some when football season is just starting! Espn all week, nbc sunday night, cbs fox football, college football saturday! Get used to it!

This is me...during basketball season.

skinnybearlyndsay

I will honestly never understand what is so magical about sex to the point people just feel like they're about to DIE without it. maybe it's because I'm a virgin, I don't know. I get it's important to a relationship and it apparently feels good but jesus...

also look the people complaining about their SO not putting out for sex..thats so disgusting I can't stand it. I would NEVER complain about my boyfriend or parents to random people. especially not on a public forum. it's unbelieveably disrespectful. Unless they're actually abusing you and it's a cry for help then stop.

Yes, it's because you're a virgin.

Definetely agree, it's because you are a virgin.

^^What they said. Until you know, don't judge. Because then you will be that person in the glass house that threw stones...and that's not fun.

icanhaztp

bump

caterpillardreams

I know everyone is different but I went through some rough times physically. Having babies, surgery, could not lose the wieght. I would get depressed about my life and feel I had also gotten out of the Air Force, I had missed it so much and did not realize. I loved being a Stay at home mom, but I did not feel pretty. He may not be giving it to you because he may be depressed. he may not admit it or even see it. he put on weight, he probably does not feel good about himself. I know 50lbs ago, I did not want my husband touching me. I felt bad for him but I could not force myself.
I am feeling better about myself, Been praying alot, Exercising and taking care of myself. Once I did that, I slowly started changing. I feel like the woman I was when I first met my husband, this time around cant do it as much we have little ones around. LOL
Good luck be patient and communicate. Its deeper than just Sex, even for a guy.

Lesa_Sass

Sex is not as important to some men when they get older. To many women sex=love to men sex=sex.

I used to feel that the more sex my husband wanted to have with me the more he loved me, I have come to find this is not necessarily the case.

Good luck dear and I hope you feel better. I know how exactly how that makes me feel and it sucks. Only thing you really can do is get the 50 shades trilogy and a case of batteries. :happy:

Spicydeene

I couldn't read all the replys but if you're sleeping in the same bed - start taking care of "yourself" and moan --- not many men can turn that down!

dreamcake808

Well if you can't beat 'um...join um...and since he doesn't want to leave the couch....move the chips and have try to entice him to sex ON the couch! My husband and I have been through this before and I know it's so annoying. I kinda took it to the next level and felt really REJECTED but I found out that it wasn't because of ME it was because of HIM. My husband is overweight as well and he said it was because he wasn't feeling sexy thats why he didn't want to have sex...so truth is.. Your hubby may be having some issues...but like I said, try the couch since he doesn't want to get off of it!!! Wish you luck! and you will get through this...it's just a phase!!!

caterpillardreams

This is going to sound out of place but.

Instead of listening too all these girls, who I can only assume are all under 17 years old from some of the terrible advice, you could try acting like an adult by sitting down and talking to your husband about this instead of venting to random strangers on the internet.

Its good to see a man say it. Relationships can be complicated, its good when you find someone you truly love, got to hold to them. communication is key

Meloyelo2010

*kitten* is your friend as is talking to your husband about what's going on with his wang. Venting is good but what will or will not change is between the two of you I'm sorry he's not putting out.

saverys_gal

Stalk him around the house....pin him to the nearest wall...or get into a tickle fight and pin his butt to the bed until he has no choice. :devil: :devil: :devil:

MissGraziano

Mine is the same way! It's gotten to the point where I don't even care anymore. Tried everything. He's also Army.. maybe it's a stress thing. Who knows.

Spicydeene

I know everyone is different but I went through some rough times physically. Having babies, surgery, could not lose the wieght. I would get depressed about my life and feel I had also gotten out of the Air Force, I had missed it so much and did not realize. I loved being a Stay at home mom, but I did not feel pretty. He may not be giving it to you because he may be depressed. he may not admit it or even see it. he put on weight, he probably does not feel good about himself. I know 50lbs ago, I did not want my husband touching me. I felt bad for him but I could not force myself.
I am feeling better about myself, Been praying alot, Exercising and taking care of myself. Once I did that, I slowly started changing. I feel like the woman I was when I first met my husband, this time around cant do it as much we have little ones around. LOL
Good luck be patient and communicate. Its deeper than just Sex, even for a guy.

You have an awesome point too!

VelociMama

Instead of listening to all these girls, who I can only assume are all under 17 years old from some of the terrible advice, you could try acting like an adult by sitting down and talking to your husband about this instead of venting to random strangers on the internet.

This.

tatorb

HAHAHA TOO FUNNY!:laugh:

Mistyblu08

What you have to do is say that it's cuddle time.
It's not actually cuddle time.
Then you shush him and tell him that it will all be over soon.

LOVE IT!! lmbo

PinkEnvyx

To much to read so sorry if this is a dup.

You said you pointed out to him he gained weight? Maybe he is embarrassed?

I know when my husband is stressed out he starts a relationship at night with the couch. LOL

I know when we are not getting along he does not recover like me and wants alone time.

Some people man or women do it out of control and a way to feel they have control over the relationship.

I don’t know about your husband but these are some things I have noticed in relationships when romper room becomes movies alone with my cat. LOL

Solution, just go down. Works every time. HAHA

dherrmanmom

This was one of the biggest issues in my first marriage. I waited around for six years and it never got any better. But then you did say he did gain "like 400 lbs", and I'm sure that's a part of what is going on at his end. My ex cared much more about sitting around playing video games more than he ever did about sex (or more than he did about getting a job, taking care of his child, etc). I'm not saying divorce is the answer (it's not - with a new future husband you just trade in one set problems for another). But honestly I never did figure out how to improve the situation other than getting out of it.

tnrown87