Toxic Parents...don't believe what you are told

Katanthus

Thanks for posting this, I get called fat by almost everyone. I get it because I'm a big guy and I've got a belly but it still hurts.

Thank you for posting. It DOES hurt, no matter who you are. People seem to think, that if you are overweight, your skin must get thicker or your hearing starts to fade.

I wish you all the very best on your journey to a healthier happier you.

Katanthus

I've been there! My mother refuses to eat over 800 calories a day and is rail thin. She loves being thinner than me and happily gave me her fat clothes (which I did not ask for) but at the same time worries about my weight (I'm not overweight). GAH. So sick of the passive agressiveness at meals.

Most fitness people will tell you, 800 calories is not enough for an adult human being to live on long term. It is great you realize what she is like, and what she is doing to you. That means, you can deal with it.

All the very best.

Katanthus

I feel everyone's pain in this one. I grew up with my parents being divorced from the time I was 4. My parents constantly bad mouthed each other and had completely different parenting styles. My dad left me with his parents to raise while he worked 10 -12 hours a day. Granted this is after he took custody of my sisters and myself because my mom threatened to raise the child support if he didn't start seeing us every once in a while. My mom always made sure we had food and could eat as we pleased. She tried to keep mostly healthy foods available. My grandparents spoiled my sisters and I and fed us what we asked for. I loved chocolate cream of wheat and cinnamon toast as a kid. I was a healthy weight until around 10 or 11 when my dad remarried. around then my dad made it so that I would never see my mother again. I slowly gained weight and had a hard time with depression. by high school I was around 200 pounds. By the time I was 16 I moved in with my mom and my weight kept creeping up. My mother always made comments about my weight and how If I had a pretty face, If I would just lose 20 pounds, I would be beautiful. She constantly competed with me over her weight and would get upset if I lost any weight when she wasn't. Every time I would try to lose weight, she would cook to sabotage me. After her car accident, she slowly gained weight until she was close to 350 pounds. My highest weight as 282 pounds, but my mother constantly put me down even though she weighed more than I did.

Thank you for sharing. You have been through a lot. I wish you all the best on your journey to a healthier happier you. You are on the right track here. I know I am glad I found MFP.
Hugs

Katanthus

I have barely spoken to my mother for the better part of 17 years, and I have been MUCH better off because of it. I have forgiven her, but I have also moved on, and I know that she will not change, so I had to change, for myself and for my children. Sometimes things are too toxic to hold on to any longer, because the poison will only leak onto you if you don't let it go.

I think you are exactly right. Things can be so toxic, you have to let it go, and them go.



I think this applies not to ourselves, but to others we have in our lives.