Married and heavy flirting good or bad

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  • joriha92
    joriha92 Posts: 22 Member
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    That would depend on the relationship. with each other, go for it!
    If it's something you agreed is okay and just for fun, then sure, flirt away.
    But if you don't it's not necessarily a bad thing but talk about it.
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
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    Mmmm mild flirting is OK with me. I have been known to leave my husband at a party when he is surrounded by females and do my own thing. It boggles my friends minds that I do that. I know he is committed/loves me, so I don't mind. I also don't think most women have anything on me. No one can treat my husband better and deal with his bullsh*t like I do and he knows and appreciates that. :P Haha So, mild flirting is okay. Any touching or talk of hanging out and implying I will not be around and beyond that, no. Exchange of phone numbers, okay. Daily texting and asking to hang out with out me, no.

    My husband doesn't like pretty much anyone anyways, so we don't have issues. He has weird respect issues when it comes to women, so he doesn't like most.
  • petiteLady89
    petiteLady89 Posts: 198 Member
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    wow! hmmm, sounds like my marriage is headed for divorce! lol. my husband heavily flirts with and talks to other women all of the time. online, through email or fb messaging and god knows what else. I have seen his texts messages in his phone to other women, including an ex! calling them beautiful, sweetheart and other cute names. But he says he calls me honey because i am his wife. wow! he even had a pic sent to him from one of his online gaming "penpal" before we got married.

    This would not be okay with me at all.. Sorry you have to put up with it. Unless you just don't care. I only treat my husband they way I would want to be treated.
  • MissWana
    MissWana Posts: 11 Member
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    If you don't mind your partner doing the same and they are fine with you flirting, why not? It can be flattering to know your partner is desired... However, if touching gets involved and it becomes emotional retreat, abort and abandon this behaviour.

    On a random note all my relationships besides that with my partner become platonic when I'm in love. I don't want to flirt because I have a great guy waiting for me at home. Just saying.
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
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    Logic should have answered this before you asked the question.
  • MissWana
    MissWana Posts: 11 Member
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    Mmmm mild flirting is OK with me. I have been known to leave my husband at a party when he is surrounded by females and do my own thing. It boggles my friends minds that I do that. I know he is committed/loves me, so I don't mind. I also don't think most women have anything on me. No one can treat my husband better and deal with his bullsh*t like I do and he knows and appreciates that. :P Haha So, mild flirting is okay. Any touching or talk of hanging out and implying I will not be around and beyond that, no. Exchange of phone numbers, okay. Daily texting and asking to hang out with out me, no.

    My husband doesn't like pretty much anyone anyways, so we don't have issues. He has weird respect issues when it comes to women, so he doesn't like most.

    Love it!
  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
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    As long as it is something that you have talked about with your significant other as being an okay thing then it's fine. It's not anyone else's business. However if this is being done behind their back and they know their SO would not be okay then it's definitely bordering emotional cheating which in my opinion is as bad as physical cheating.

    Personally, I am not okay with my SO heavily flirting,
  • miss_ally08
    miss_ally08 Posts: 167 Member
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    Heavy flirting is a no-no.

    My husband is a Marine and he goes to trainings and stuff where they have liberty when they are away to "go out". Thankfully he calls and updates me what goes on (cause he chooses to, not because I make him!). Yeah he's a Marine so he'll drink with the guys and lightly flirt with women, but that's as far as it goes.

    We are very open and honest with each other. I know if he does mildly flirt with a woman, that's as far as it goes. Anything more than that to me is just immoral and all sorts of wrong!
  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
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    Mmmm mild flirting is OK with me. I have been known to leave my husband at a party when he is surrounded by females and do my own thing. It boggles my friends minds that I do that. I know he is committed/loves me, so I don't mind. I also don't think most women have anything on me. No one can treat my husband better and deal with his bullsh*t like I do and he knows and appreciates that. :P Haha So, mild flirting is okay. Any touching or talk of hanging out and implying I will not be around and beyond that, no. Exchange of phone numbers, okay. Daily texting and asking to hang out with out me, no.

    My husband doesn't like pretty much anyone anyways, so we don't have issues. He has weird respect issues when it comes to women, so he doesn't like most.

    It sounds like you have a very trusting relationship with each other which is awesome! Props for you.
  • miss_ally08
    miss_ally08 Posts: 167 Member
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    wow! hmmm, sounds like my marriage is headed for divorce! lol. my husband heavily flirts with and talks to other women all of the time. online, through email or fb messaging and god knows what else. I have seen his texts messages in his phone to other women, including an ex! calling them beautiful, sweetheart and other cute names. But he says he calls me honey because i am his wife. wow! he even had a pic sent to him from one of his online gaming "penpal" before we got married.

    It sounds like this has been going on for awhile. I'm sure this bothers you to some degree. Have you all talked about it? If so, where does he see boundaries should be? :(
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
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    she'd be cut, with the quickness. crazy disrespectful.
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
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    My problem is that since I've lost weight (164 pounds), I don't even realize if someone is flirting with me. It doesn't even register in that part of my brain:huh: . I've always been the joke around funny big guy, so now if a woman were to flirt with me, I don't think I'd even notice it.

    example: A few months ago I went to starbucks and I was wearing shorts (which I do practically year-round) and the staff there all know me and were talking about how I was wearing shorts even though it was quite cold out. This one worker in particular was talking about how she notices I wear shorts alot, and then she drew little pictures of me wearing short in the rain, snow etc on my coffee cup. I didn't even notice until I got back to work, and all my co-workers were saying how she was flirting with me????? I had no clue.

    Needless to say I've framed the cup and it now hangs in my office!! :tongue:

    haha.. that's awesome!
  • artickb22
    artickb22 Posts: 411 Member
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    my husband and I both work at the same hospital. We are both casual fun flirters...we know, understand and accept this about each other. We never take it to far, everyone we work with knows we love and care deeply for one another and that our words are just for fun. It works for us...but I can see how it could go VERY AWRY for others. it works for us, but we often find we are the polar exception to this kinda stuff. We're pretty twisted, but we compliment each other and are on the same page.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
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    i think it's disrespectful especially if its initiated.
  • ncates00
    ncates00 Posts: 51
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    Too much of a loaded question. This "line" that you speak of is very subjective and probably varies person to person. However, I believe that the "line" is drawn at conversation and pleasantries. In other words, no touching, no over or excessive complimenting, no "deep" conversations, etc. Basically, it's fine to be friends. But if you're with a person, you're WITH that person. Don't betray their trust and flirt with other people. Save that for your beloved!
  • Cindy393
    Cindy393 Posts: 268 Member
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    I've always heard not to do anything behind your spouse/boyfriend's back that you wouldn't feel comfortable doing in front of him. I have way too much respect for my husband and our marriage to even consider flirting. So my answer is a big fat BAD.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Ooops.... Not good... Unless your one that doesn't care if your spouse does it to you.... I think its also bad to post your relationship problems here on MFP before you even talk with your spouse about them either.. Imagine if you read something your spouse posted here, before they even spoke to you about it. How would that make you feel.... That would piss me off..
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    If your relationship is fashioned in such a way that you are open, or swing, or whatever, then why not?

    However, I do agree, if you had to ask, you already know the answer.

    Some people can flirt within and outside of their relationships, without it becoming an issue. Some couples just have that dynamic.
  • NJGmywholewrld
    NJGmywholewrld Posts: 123 Member
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    Flirting is exactly what has put my marriage on the "rocks." My husband has the belief that flirting is okay when you are trying to get something. Example, discounts and free things at restaurants or concerts...etc. His flirting has gone too far. Numbers being exchanged, emotional connections made and my son and I at home suffering and heartbroken. There is now serious trust issues and a lot of tears. Sure, intentions may be innocent, but something that could hurt others feelings, is never a good thing. Even if you are flirting with no expectations, the person you are flirting with may take it seriously.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    if your with someone you care about(married or not) why eff it up flirting with someone else??

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