Married and heavy flirting good or bad

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ilfaith

Seventeen years of marriage hasn't stopped me from a little playful flirting. Certainly there is a line I'd never cross, but I do enjoy the company and conversation of men...including those who aren't my husband. And sometimes it is nice to be reminded you can still be considered charming and attractive to the opposite sex. I've never been one to toss my hair and jiggle my boobs around, but if I can engage a man in a bit of clever banter, capture his attention , and leave both of us feeling a little better about ourselves, great. I try to be equally pleasant and endearing in my interactions with women and children.

Perhaps deep down I am insecure and just desperately want people to like me.

_Captivated_

Good. So, so good.

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rickiimarieee

I love these comments! Couldn't say it better myself!!

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always_smilin_D

No judgement here, been there done that!!! At the end of the day, I justified it is as I was getting from other what I was lacking from my now EX. There are stages that you really don't want to play with cuz at the end of the day, someone will end up hurt and usually it isn't you - it is your children, your spouse. If you are finding the need to go flirting online or offline, then there is something lacking in your relationship -- usually the culprit is a lack of communication. I couldn't salvage what was missing in my marriage, so now I am happily divorced but looking back, I am sure that if I had not simply given up - communicated more, been more respectful, and even considerate; perhaps it would had been for ever (it might sound I am in a stage of regret, I am not, I just have learned much from the process)

Further more - there is a slippery slope when flirting with someone else - developing an emotional connection. Once that emotional connection has been developed and you find yourself being a lil teenage boy/girl longing for the company of that other person, you are F'd. An emotional affair is 10x worse than any physical affair - s*x is s*x, just a physical need that can even be satisfied on the solo - but when emotions are involved, now your attention is taken from your spouse and your children, you find yourself day dreaming of the what could be - thinking the grass is greener on the other side - neglecting the person in front of you. And it doesn't matter how often you express "I Love My Spouse but...." (and believe me you will find yourself starting your sentence in such way because it becomes a justifying mechanism) you are no longer "IN LOVE" with your spouse for you no longer believe they deserve the respect as being such - before you know it, there is no turning back.

PS. Now if your spouse is in complete knowledge and they don't mind - more power for a strong relationship!!!

always_smilin_D

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

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Are you saying people who flirt are not getting it from their spouses???

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

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Are you saying people who flirt are not getting it from their spouses???

Not at all, just lacking things from their spouse - I mean if you ain't lacking something, why you seeking? - Also, are you seeking secretly?

I only based my answer on my own experience

dsboohead

"Heavy" flirting is just a step that could easily be crossed and is hinting that it will. If husband and wife are both H F ing can bet wife swapping parties are next on the agenda. Going into yucky land

jackyyadira

I think it's disrespectful and don't see any good come from it. If I wouldnt like my significant other doing it, I won't be doing it myself

Deadman_Diggingup

I’ve read all the comments and truly, if it’s condoned between you and your SO, then by all means continue.... however, my personal opinion (and no it does not need to be agreed with) is that it’s a show of disrespect to my wife. I certainly would be very hurt if she were to do it to me, so I wouldn’t hurt her the same way.

MrSith

Nothing ever good comes from it.

charlesdjstanley

A flirt is fun but I would never take it any further. Cause I'm HAPPY!!!! Sing! Cause I'm happyhggyhh!

MellowGa

well that's the crux of it all right? depends on the couple in the relationship and the communication and trust you have with each other.

MellowGa

dsboohead wrote: »

"Heavy" flirting is just a step that could easily be crossed and is hinting that it will. If husband and wife are both H F ing can bet wife swapping parties are next on the agenda. Going into yucky land

I'm not sure why people even do that, it's just sex right? why would you need to go anywhere else? only thing different is you could get a STD or screw up your relationship, just not worth it.

flirting is one thing, I think you have to gauge the intent, I was a soccer coach for 15 years, dealt with many moms that loved to flirt with me, I would joke around with them, but they all knew I was clearly happily married.