Married and heavy flirting good or bad
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I think to some extent light flirting is ok. As long as it's not done in private messaging or when nobody else is around. My rule is, if I wouldn't do it in front of him, it shouldn't be done at all!2
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HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »I think to some extent light flirting is ok. As long as it's not done in private messaging or when nobody else is around. My rule is, if I wouldn't do it in front of him, it shouldn't be done at all!
You mean, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, do it in private so no one else knows.
I like you.0 -
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HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »I think to some extent light flirting is ok. As long as it's not done in private messaging or when nobody else is around. My rule is, if I wouldn't do it in front of him, it shouldn't be done at all!
You mean, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, do it in private so no one else knows.
I like you.
I mean, if you're down?0 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »I think to some extent light flirting is ok. As long as it's not done in private messaging or when nobody else is around. My rule is, if I wouldn't do it in front of him, it shouldn't be done at all!
You mean, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, do it in private so no one else knows.
I like you.
I mean, if you're down?
I already said I wanna brush and play with your hair. Should that have been a PM? Do people know we are, like, flirting and stuff? I am sooooo doing this wrong. And I don't want to give more fodder for the judgy shammers in the thread.0 -
TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Sunnybrooke99 wrote: »I wouldnt tell someone what’s right and wrong for them, but it probably means you aren’t happy, and need to think about that.
We're both very happy.
Okay then.. no need to be defensive, but those are my thoughts about it.5 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »I think to some extent light flirting is ok. As long as it's not done in private messaging or when nobody else is around. My rule is, if I wouldn't do it in front of him, it shouldn't be done at all!
You mean, if you wouldn't do it in front of them, do it in private so no one else knows.
I like you.
I mean, if you're down?
I already said I wanna brush and play with your hair. Should that have been a PM? Do people know we are, like, flirting and stuff? I am sooooo doing this wrong. And I don't want to give more fodder for the judgy shammers in the thread.
Nah, we keep the hair porn private. I think we're safe
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
agreed
My wife have been together 27 years, married 21, we are both heavy flirts, we are both ok with it and very open and honest.
flirting is fine, but I would never cross the line, I really don't think I could find a better spouse than the one I already have, and frankly not interested in anyone else. But we are human, finding another person attractive is not a bad thing.
My wife watches Outlander, apparently this past weekend some love scene was a huge turn on for her...she made me watch it, did nothing for me as I am a guy. But she has called me "Jamie" since, the male characters name...lol
but men hit on my wife all the time, she is beautiful, she takes it as a compliment, and so do I.
I know what I have, so does my wife, what is the old saying, "you can look at the menu, just don't order!"
IF you are worried about your spouse leaving you or cheating, then maybe you need to flirt with your spouse a little more and spice things up.
While we are heavy flirts, we flirt with each other constantly and Yes I am admittedly guilty of sexually harassing her, as I have a certificate saying it is legal to do so
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TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
New pic, teacup. Taking advice from the other thread???TeacupsAndToning wrote: »Sunnybrooke99 wrote: »I wouldnt tell someone what’s right and wrong for them, but it probably means you aren’t happy, and need to think about that.
We're both very happy.
No, I just look great in this photo and I had my bikini one up for a couple of months.
I would never take advice from him.
Good!0 -
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I flirt to joke around, because who's gonna take the fat lady seriously? but I am gonna stop once I lose weight. I don't want people to get the wrong idea, I do it for sh*ts and giggles.1
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Depends on the marriage. Some marriages are okay with one or both partners flirting and possibly more. Most are not. Ultimately the litmus test is do you have to hide it from your spouse? If the answer to that question is yes, then you shouldn't be doing it. If the answer to that question is no, then have fun!
I would add the caveat that even if the answer is no and flirting (or more) is established as okay within the rules of your marriage, you should still be making the effort to flirt with your spouse. If you're buying flowers for "not spouse", but never buy flowers(or an equivalent if your spouse is not a flowers kind of person) for your spouse, your spouse may become understandably jealous.0 -
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Subjective subjects do nothing more than stir the pot as they offend someone else's sensibilities.
Agree to disagree, talk to your SO and don't compromise with requirements of your relationship, if that's monogamy - then speak plainly about it..
Hopefully whomever you're speaking too has some sense to hear what you need from the relationship..
If there's nothing wrong in your partners eyes and you both have agreed that it's all fun and games, that it's not changing things.
So be it.0 -
I remember a guy who wanted to marry me years ago and went as far as to propose to me in front of my mother and grandmother at a swanky restaurant. I accepted of course.
Later at home, he made it clear that he was a "flirt" and that would never change. He explained that if he were expected to change his flirtatious ways, he would feel squelched, controlled and invalidated. He would virtually fall to pieces if anyone tried to tame his wild heart or cramp his style.
I said, okay. I understand. I LUV U SO MUCH! I KNOW you would never CHEAT on me!!!
Shortly before the wedding was to take place and just before we were to relocate many thousands of miles away to a foreign country, his girlfriend called me. Apparently she was one of many and he was also still legally married to some other lady as well. And she told me every few months he would go into seclusion with bandages around his dong because apparently he would experience an outbreak of some kind which would require a few weeks before it would clear. That corresponded with the time lines when he would tell me he would have to go on business trip(s) out of state for a few weeks.
These flirts. Gotta luv 'em.
That is not a Flirt, please never associate me with a *kitten** hole, simple as that, the guy is a scumbag, plenty of those around.
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I flirted a few times right in front of my husband with one of his friends. He told me later how hurt he was and I never flirted with anyone ever again from that moment. To this day many years later I still feel terrible when I think about it. I hurt him. He forgave me. But I can't take that hurt back. I can make up for it every day, but I can never take it back. If I could only relive those moments ...4
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It depends on the relationship. A majority of us are in a monogamous relationship, but if you're in a polygamous one, then what? The tables are turned. You do what works for you in YOUR relationship. If you're not open about it with with your SO or SO's, then that is where a problem lies. If everyone is OK with it, then I see no problem with it at all.2
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I definitely read that as "married and heavy LIFTING" and couldn't understand why those wouldn't be compatible.2
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I remember a guy who wanted to marry me years ago and went as far as to propose to me in front of my mother and grandmother at a swanky restaurant. I accepted of course.
Later at home, he made it clear that he was a "flirt" and that would never change. He explained that if he were expected to change his flirtatious ways, he would feel squelched, controlled and invalidated. He would virtually fall to pieces if anyone tried to tame his wild heart or cramp his style.
I said, okay. I understand. I LUV U SO MUCH! I KNOW you would never CHEAT on me!!!
Shortly before the wedding was to take place and just before we were to relocate many thousands of miles away to a foreign country, his girlfriend called me. Apparently she was one of many and he was also still legally married to some other lady as well. And she told me every few months he would go into seclusion with bandages around his dong because apparently he would experience an outbreak of some kind which would require a few weeks before it would clear. That corresponded with the time lines when he would tell me he would have to go on business trip(s) out of state for a few weeks.
These flirts. Gotta luv 'em.
Please tell me you set his *kitten* on fire once you found out. Or at least punched him in the d0ng.
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I flirted a few times right in front of my husband with one of his friends. He told me later how hurt he was and I never flirted with anyone ever again from that moment. To this day many years later I still feel terrible when I think about it. I hurt him. He forgave me. But I can't take that hurt back. I can make up for it every day, but I can never take it back. If I could only relive those moments ...
you do realize that is a controlling technique he is using, to make you feel guilty. I find it kind of sad, you are going through your marriage afraid of hurting his sensitive emotions. Does he flirt with anyone?
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I remember a guy who wanted to marry me years ago and went as far as to propose to me in front of my mother and grandmother at a swanky restaurant. I accepted of course.
Later at home, he made it clear that he was a "flirt" and that would never change. He explained that if he were expected to change his flirtatious ways, he would feel squelched, controlled and invalidated. He would virtually fall to pieces if anyone tried to tame his wild heart or cramp his style.
I said, okay. I understand. I LUV U SO MUCH! I KNOW you would never CHEAT on me!!!
Shortly before the wedding was to take place and just before we were to relocate many thousands of miles away to a foreign country, his girlfriend called me. Apparently she was one of many and he was also still legally married to some other lady as well. And she told me every few months he would go into seclusion with bandages around his dong because apparently he would experience an outbreak of some kind which would require a few weeks before it would clear. That corresponded with the time lines when he would tell me he would have to go on business trip(s) out of state for a few weeks.
These flirts. Gotta luv 'em.
That is not a Flirt, please never associate me with a *kitten** hole, simple as that, the guy is a scumbag, plenty of those around.
Not my words. Those were his. Verbatim.
Yell well he is no flirt, just a scumbag.2 -
I will say, it is interesting how giving compliments has changed.
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No. I just threw the cheap ring he bought me in his face when he came to my door later that day and called him awful names and viciously ridiculed the episodes of erectile dysfunction he experienced when drunk. He started to cry and went away and I never heard from him again.
Hell yeah!
My ex husband cheated on me. He was also starting to escalate from emotional abuse to physical abuse, so I had enough and punched him in the face.
Found hubby #2 about 6 mos later and we've been together since 2010.
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I flirted a few times right in front of my husband with one of his friends. He told me later how hurt he was and I never flirted with anyone ever again from that moment. To this day many years later I still feel terrible when I think about it. I hurt him. He forgave me. But I can't take that hurt back. I can make up for it every day, but I can never take it back. If I could only relive those moments ...
you do realize that is a controlling technique he is using, to make you feel guilty. I find it kind of sad, you are going through your marriage afraid of hurting his sensitive emotions. Does he flirt with anyone?
No he doesn't. He only flirts with me and I, him. I don't see it as a controlling technique at all. He was genuinely hurt by my actions. I know and appreciate that everyone has a different opinion about this marriage and flirting thing. It is my feeling that marriage is all about mutual love and respect for each other. As long as that is present in my marriage, I will protect it with all of my being and never do anything to compromise it. But that's just me - no apologies!6 -
I flirted a few times right in front of my husband with one of his friends. He told me later how hurt he was and I never flirted with anyone ever again from that moment. To this day many years later I still feel terrible when I think about it. I hurt him. He forgave me. But I can't take that hurt back. I can make up for it every day, but I can never take it back. If I could only relive those moments ...
you do realize that is a controlling technique he is using, to make you feel guilty. I find it kind of sad, you are going through your marriage afraid of hurting his sensitive emotions. Does he flirt with anyone?
No he doesn't. He only flirts with me and I, him. I don't see it as a controlling technique at all. He was genuinely hurt by my actions. I know and appreciate that everyone has a different opinion about this marriage and flirting thing. It is my feeling that marriage is all about mutual love and respect for each other. As long as that is present in my marriage, I will protect it with all of my being and never do anything to compromise it. But that's just me - no apologies!
OK if that works for you that's great! if you both are on the same page then it's wonderful. Just like us, we been together 27 years, three kids....if it works, then it will last.
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Nope nope nope absolutely not.0
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OutOfUserName wrote: »marriage is just made up by dudes back in the day so their woman wont leave them to make it legit they put in a book and to make it even more legit they called the book the holy bible
Did you know marriage licenses were created in the 1920s to prevent interracial marriage. (US)
Before that, people didn't have to ask for permission from the government to get married.2 -
Strong MFP Internet Heros today, saving everyone from married flirterers, religionogians, and politikics too.
I feel morally safe now.
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