This website has changed!!

hhhdddggss

I am brand new (three days) ... but can tell you, as a veteran of other sites, I left them because folks were too whiney! I agree with you that each of us must motivate ourselves in our own way. Yes, I'm looking to this website for additional wisdom on how to make my journey a success ... but I know only I can do it when it comes down to it. Maybe we should have a thread just for folks to vent a bit, get it off their minds, then move on to the OTHER threads that are a bit more uplifting!

Success to everyone today!

CrystalT

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

foxyforce

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

perhaps try pig Latin?

there is absolutely no reason to be a giant *****! for ****s sake i was only trying to help people think outside of the box, there is a lot more needed than just those 3 things! narrow thinking is not something anyone should aspire to.

so telling someone to try pig latin to speak to another member on the board is not only jumping on an ignorance band wagon, but hating for no necessary reason, i don't hear any alternatives coming from your mouth.

ugh...or do you only know how to agree and disagree like a passive ****ing participant?

edit: and just so you know, it isn't the most thoughtful thing to just disrespect someone when they disagree with an opinion.

SHBoss1673

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

OK, well, I guess, but if that's the thought, then I would like to here why she thinks that way. I mean, I don't see how you could become healthy if you don't have the physical tools to become healthy. I.E. if you don't have the physical ability to perform exercise, and/or the means with which to control your eating (say you're encarcerated and can only eat what they give you as an example), then you have very little options upon which to become healthy. Right? I mean, these maybe aren't great examples, but still I can't see where the opinion comes in there.

yanicka

I remember a post where someone was asking for motivation for not eating something bad. Since people didn't have time to answer she ate something esle that was bad and said that it was our fault for not answering sooner.......WHAT!!!!!

Take responsibility for your own action!!!!

foxyforce

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

OK, well, I guess, but if that's the thought, then I would like to here why she thinks that way. I mean, I don't see how you could become healthy if you don't have the physical tools to become healthy. I.E. if you don't have the physical ability to perform exercise, and/or the means with which to control your eating (say you're encarcerated and can only eat what they give you as an example), then you have very little options upon which to become healthy. Right? I mean, these maybe aren't great examples, but still I can't see where the opinion comes in there.

"here are 3 aspects to becoming healthy 1) Desire to become healthy. 2) Knowledge of how to proceed and understanding your body and mind. 3)The physical capabilities to do so.
If any of these 3 aspects are lacking, you will fail."

Caring about yourself, feeling encouraged and not hated on. There was a member that came on here that posted something about feeling no encouragement from the people she cares about most...is this, can this not be detrimental to this process?
If everyone is encouraging you to lose weight, you might also feel no desire to be healthy but to live up to their expectations. People living with BN, in it's early stages are even considered healthy...not of the mind, but of the body, because they only vomit (now I don't like people that pull numbers out of their *kitten*, but I am going to for the sake of my bad memory) like 50% of their food anyway. Is this not a distortion of being healthy?

I think the word 'healthy' needs to be deconstructed to each person specifically. I know it is hard to get because some people have tried every means necessary to get to their definition of being 'healthy' when only caloric restriction and exercise seems to work for them: however, this is not the only means.

Knowledge of how to proceed, is kind of a tricky one...but this is not all there is.

Encouragement from others, i.e. support
Social definitions of healthy vs. Personal definitions of healthy, and if there is any congruency between them
What about individuals that have little control physical control, are they not 'healthy'? This could be hospitalized patients.

There are so many things. And I just don't think that it should be limited, or even fall under those 3 'umbrellas'

foxyforce

I remember a post where someone was asking for motivation for not eating something bad. Since people didn't have time to answer she ate something esle that was bad and said that it was our fault for not answering sooner.......WHAT!!!!!

Take responsibility for your own action!!!!

that was me. and that was a joke!!! but i get what you're saying

Marla64

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

perhaps try pig Latin?

there is absolutely no reason to be a giant *****! for ****s sake i was only trying to help people think outside of the box, there is a lot more needed than just those 3 things! narrow thinking is not something anyone should aspire to.

so telling someone to try pig latin to speak to another member on the board is not only jumping on an ignorance band wagon, but hating for no necessary reason, i don't hear any alternatives coming from your mouth.

ugh...or do you only know how to agree and disagree like a passive ****ing participant?

edit: and just so you know, it isn't the most thoughtful thing to just disrespect someone when they disagree with an opinion.

Ehhh-- it was just a little joke-- lighten up.

foxyforce

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

perhaps try pig Latin?

there is absolutely no reason to be a giant *****! for ****s sake i was only trying to help people think outside of the box, there is a lot more needed than just those 3 things! narrow thinking is not something anyone should aspire to.

so telling someone to try pig latin to speak to another member on the board is not only jumping on an ignorance band wagon, but hating for no necessary reason, i don't hear any alternatives coming from your mouth.

ugh...or do you only know how to agree and disagree like a passive ****ing participant?

edit: and just so you know, it isn't the most thoughtful thing to just disrespect someone when they disagree with an opinion.

Ehhh-- it was just a little joke-- lighten up.

that's what racist idiots say after telling a racist joke against black people where there are 2 or 3 black people in a room of 100 white people

ehhhh, lighten up, we're not racist, it's just a joke!!

same ****! lots of people disagree on here, and we should be encouraging them to do so, people were always all over lionness and not calling her healthy...that is just so messed up. this threat was an opportunity for a rant. and here is mine

amandadaisylotus

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

OK, well, I guess, but if that's the thought, then I would like to here why she thinks that way. I mean, I don't see how you could become healthy if you don't have the physical tools to become healthy. I.E. if you don't have the physical ability to perform exercise, and/or the means with which to control your eating (say you're encarcerated and can only eat what they give you as an example), then you have very little options upon which to become healthy. Right? I mean, these maybe aren't great examples, but still I can't see where the opinion comes in there.

"here are 3 aspects to becoming healthy 1) Desire to become healthy. 2) Knowledge of how to proceed and understanding your body and mind. 3)The physical capabilities to do so.
If any of these 3 aspects are lacking, you will fail."

Caring about yourself, feeling encouraged and not hated on. Knowledge of how to proceed, is kind of a tricky one...but this is not all there is.

Encouragement from others, i.e. support

Obviously Banks was summarizing the yes, many steps that people go through in their journey to become healthy. All the steps of grieving, for instance. But at the core of his statement, he's right. Encouragement from others is great, but if you don't have the desire to do it FOR YOURSELF, then all the encouragement in the world isn't going to help you.

Caring about yourself = wanting to get healthy.
Feeling encouraged = understanding your mind. If you need the encouragement, seek it out. No one on here is saying, "hey keep all your fears, dissappointments, and worries all bottled up inside and you'll do great!!!" They're simply saying that YES at the end of the day it all boils down to YOU and YOU only. An online forum isn't going to change your life. The people posting there might have a hand in it, but ultimately YOU change YOUR life.

"Hated on"... seriously? Seriously. I know this next statement is going to get me reemed by you and the younger folks on this forum, but how old are you?

Your entire argument sounds like an immature person who hasn't realized yet that she's in control of her own life and no amount of forum posting on what bad decisions she's made is going to change it until she get's her *** in line and does things for herself.

And as for jumping on the back of the Pig Latin joke; it was a little immature as well, but you got all defensive when someone called you out on your post about making bad choices and how it was "our fault" for not posting soon enough to keep you on track. Joke or not that's a warning sign that you're not prepared for this journey.

I could blame my weight on my parents (all umpteenth sets of them) choices about my diet, the way they controled what I ate, the way my life sucked and thats why I'm fat. But ultimately, I'm an adult now and no one runs my life anymore. Even IF they got me here, it's up to me, not them, to get my fat *** out of it.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of doing EXACTLY what this post is about, whining about how I've made bad choices (though I ask for a verbal slap in the face, no sugar coating) and how I need support. But most of the people on here are right. At the end of the day it IS up to you.

foxyforce

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

OK, well, I guess, but if that's the thought, then I would like to here why she thinks that way. I mean, I don't see how you could become healthy if you don't have the physical tools to become healthy. I.E. if you don't have the physical ability to perform exercise, and/or the means with which to control your eating (say you're encarcerated and can only eat what they give you as an example), then you have very little options upon which to become healthy. Right? I mean, these maybe aren't great examples, but still I can't see where the opinion comes in there.

"here are 3 aspects to becoming healthy 1) Desire to become healthy. 2) Knowledge of how to proceed and understanding your body and mind. 3)The physical capabilities to do so.
If any of these 3 aspects are lacking, you will fail."

Caring about yourself, feeling encouraged and not hated on. Knowledge of how to proceed, is kind of a tricky one...but this is not all there is.

Encouragement from others, i.e. support

Obviously Banks was summarizing the yes, many steps that people go through in their journey to become healthy. All the steps of grieving, for instance. But at the core of his statement, he's right. Encouragement from others is great, but if you don't have the desire to do it FOR YOURSELF, then all the encouragement in the world isn't going to help you.

Caring about yourself = wanting to get healthy.
Feeling encouraged = understanding your mind. If you need the encouragement, seek it out. No one on here is saying, "hey keep all your fears, dissappointments, and worries all bottled up inside and you'll do great!!!" They're simply saying that YES at the end of the day it all boils down to YOU and YOU only. An online forum isn't going to change your life. The people posting there might have a hand in it, but ultimately YOU change YOUR life.

"Hated on"... seriously? Seriously. I know this next statement is going to get me reemed by you and the younger folks on this forum, but how old are you?

Your entire argument sounds like an immature person who hasn't realized yet that she's in control of her own life and no amount of forum posting on what bad decisions she's made is going to change it until she get's her *** in line and does things for herself.

And as for jumping on the back of the Pig Latin joke; it was a little immature as well, but you got all defensive when someone called you out on your post about making bad choices and how it was "our fault" for not posting soon enough to keep you on track. Joke or not that's a warning sign that you're not prepared for this journey.

I could blame my weight on my parents (all umpteenth sets of them) choices about my diet, the way they controled what I ate, the way my life sucked and thats why I'm fat. But ultimately, I'm an adult now and no one runs my life anymore. Even IF they got me here, it's up to me, not them, to get my fat *** out of it.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of doing EXACTLY what this post is about, whining about how I've made bad choices (though I ask for a verbal slap in the face, no sugar coating) and how I need support. But most of the people on here are right. At the end of the day it IS up to you.

i actually wasn't going to reem this, however, calling me immature for a statement that was more than apt...come on!

i don't know if i am making myself clear, so maybe i should try pig latin, har har...;)

"Caring about yourself = wanting to get healthy. "
really? HOW! HOW! HOW! and these two things do not equate eachother whatsoever and can hold such different social and cultural definitions. A lot of women on here, and I hate generalizing but I will for simplicity, want to look like all the hotties in the media. Yes, this doesn't appear healthy, but to who?

Just think outside a narrow pathway, a tiny box, that is ALL I was asking!

edit: p.s. i do know i am in control of my own life. i however understand that people are complex, not just me, this isn't some self-searching personal goal to banter with you guys, i am telling you to try to open up your minds in regarding to how you approach others on a level of 'healthy' discourse

Marla64

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

perhaps try pig Latin?

there is absolutely no reason to be a giant *****! for ****s sake i was only trying to help people think outside of the box, there is a lot more needed than just those 3 things! narrow thinking is not something anyone should aspire to.

so telling someone to try pig latin to speak to another member on the board is not only jumping on an ignorance band wagon, but hating for no necessary reason, i don't hear any alternatives coming from your mouth.

ugh...or do you only know how to agree and disagree like a passive ****ing participant?

edit: and just so you know, it isn't the most thoughtful thing to just disrespect someone when they disagree with an opinion.

Ehhh-- it was just a little joke-- lighten up.

that's what racist idiots say after telling a racist joke against black people where there are 2 or 3 black people in a room of 100 white people

ehhhh, lighten up, we're not racist, it's just a joke!!

same ****! lots of people disagree on here, and we should be encouraging them to do so, people were always all over lionness and not calling her healthy...that is just so messed up. this threat was an opportunity for a rant. and here is mine

Wow-- two words--

Try decaf.

foxyforce

i wasn't talking about aesthetics! i was talking about his perception of what it means to be successful at being healthy.

I think I understand. Noone can give a distinct model of what it means to be successful at being healthy. Everyone is different therefore it would just be a general description or guide for the average person. This is what most information about health and weightloss are based on because there is no way to take into account the different factors in someones life. Am I anywhere close
girl?

right on the dot!

you're not getting it, I wasn't talking about what it takes to be successful, I was talking about physically being able to perform the activities needed to lose weight.

perhaps try pig Latin?

there is absolutely no reason to be a giant *****! for ****s sake i was only trying to help people think outside of the box, there is a lot more needed than just those 3 things! narrow thinking is not something anyone should aspire to.

so telling someone to try pig latin to speak to another member on the board is not only jumping on an ignorance band wagon, but hating for no necessary reason, i don't hear any alternatives coming from your mouth.

ugh...or do you only know how to agree and disagree like a passive ****ing participant?

edit: and just so you know, it isn't the most thoughtful thing to just disrespect someone when they disagree with an opinion.

Ehhh-- it was just a little joke-- lighten up.

that's what racist idiots say after telling a racist joke against black people where there are 2 or 3 black people in a room of 100 white people

ehhhh, lighten up, we're not racist, it's just a joke!!

same ****! lots of people disagree on here, and we should be encouraging them to do so, people were always all over lionness and not calling her healthy...that is just so messed up. this threat was an opportunity for a rant. and here is mine

Wow-- two words--

Try decaf.

try opening your eyes.

foxyforce

Banks, I might be wrong, but I think she is saying that she disagrees with you saying that in order to become healthy you have to have all 3 of those things.

OK, well, I guess, but if that's the thought, then I would like to here why she thinks that way. I mean, I don't see how you could become healthy if you don't have the physical tools to become healthy. I.E. if you don't have the physical ability to perform exercise, and/or the means with which to control your eating (say you're encarcerated and can only eat what they give you as an example), then you have very little options upon which to become healthy. Right? I mean, these maybe aren't great examples, but still I can't see where the opinion comes in there.

"here are 3 aspects to becoming healthy 1) Desire to become healthy. 2) Knowledge of how to proceed and understanding your body and mind. 3)The physical capabilities to do so.
If any of these 3 aspects are lacking, you will fail."

Caring about yourself, feeling encouraged and not hated on. Knowledge of how to proceed, is kind of a tricky one...but this is not all there is.

Encouragement from others, i.e. support

Obviously Banks was summarizing the yes, many steps that people go through in their journey to become healthy. All the steps of grieving, for instance. But at the core of his statement, he's right. Encouragement from others is great, but if you don't have the desire to do it FOR YOURSELF, then all the encouragement in the world isn't going to help you.

Caring about yourself = wanting to get healthy.
Feeling encouraged = understanding your mind. If you need the encouragement, seek it out. No one on here is saying, "hey keep all your fears, dissappointments, and worries all bottled up inside and you'll do great!!!" They're simply saying that YES at the end of the day it all boils down to YOU and YOU only. An online forum isn't going to change your life. The people posting there might have a hand in it, but ultimately YOU change YOUR life.

"Hated on"... seriously? Seriously. I know this next statement is going to get me reemed by you and the younger folks on this forum, but how old are you?

Your entire argument sounds like an immature person who hasn't realized yet that she's in control of her own life and no amount of forum posting on what bad decisions she's made is going to change it until she get's her *** in line and does things for herself.

And as for jumping on the back of the Pig Latin joke; it was a little immature as well, but you got all defensive when someone called you out on your post about making bad choices and how it was "our fault" for not posting soon enough to keep you on track. Joke or not that's a warning sign that you're not prepared for this journey.

I could blame my weight on my parents (all umpteenth sets of them) choices about my diet, the way they controled what I ate, the way my life sucked and thats why I'm fat. But ultimately, I'm an adult now and no one runs my life anymore. Even IF they got me here, it's up to me, not them, to get my fat *** out of it.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of doing EXACTLY what this post is about, whining about how I've made bad choices (though I ask for a verbal slap in the face, no sugar coating) and how I need support. But most of the people on here are right. At the end of the day it IS up to you.

i just clued into the fact that you were HATING on my age because i used the term hating on! this is exactly what i am talking about. and do not misintrepret info from younger folks just because of their age. why would you even bother? i don't know how old you are, but can you honestly compare your intelligence to anyone younger than you? is it all not valid?

btw, i am 23. and because marla didn't get my racist metaphor, i will also include, i also hate ageism

everyone uses slang, get over it!!! and try to actually read the context of what they are saying or else you will entirely miss the concept!

SHBoss1673

well this topic is far to heated to be productive any longer. So I'm going to stop posting on it. I just don't see arguing as productive. Maybe we can discuss this again at another time, but for now, I'm done with it.

foxyforce

well this topic is far to heated to be productive any longer. So I'm going to stop posting on it. I just don't see arguing as productive. Maybe we can discuss this again at another time, but for now, I'm done with it.

just so you know, i appreciated what you had to say. things are worth discussing, and deconstructing, to better understand them.

not reducing something completely valid anyone on here has to say...that i can not appreciate it.

Marla64

well this topic is far to heated to be productive any longer. So I'm going to stop posting on it. I just don't see arguing as productive. Maybe we can discuss this again at another time, but for now, I'm done with it.

Chicken.

(disclaimer: that wink is indicating a joke-- a lighthearted statement said in jest)

CrystalT

well this topic is far to heated to be productive any longer. So I'm going to stop posting on it. I just don't see arguing as productive. Maybe we can discuss this again at another time, but for now, I'm done with it.

Wow! A mature response.

foxyforce

well this topic is far to heated to be productive any longer. So I'm going to stop posting on it. I just don't see arguing as productive. Maybe we can discuss this again at another time, but for now, I'm done with it.

Chicken.

(disclaimer: that wink is indicating a joke-- a lighthearted statement said in jest)

i know what a joke is. you were just telling him to use pig latin...for something he was trying to understand and something i was trying to explain. it totally discredited what i had to say.

MadWorld

Okay, so here's the way I see it. The whole reason I thought this thread was "turning into a high horse thread" is bc, like I said bf, I didn't want people who need extra support /encouragement/motivation to feel like they wouldn't get it.

I don't think they would be here if they didn't really want to lose the weight. Food is an addiction. No, I can't hold their hand and lead them away from the fridge or pantry-- no one can lead me away from my fridge or pantry. BUT, it's nice to come on and "vent" or talk about feelings of wanting to binge or overeat-- or whatever you want to call it. It's nice to have a place to come and talk about the days that one screws up-- and KNOW that it's NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. Because-- as most of us know, esp in the earlier stages of weight loss, it's so easy to say, "Well, I ate bad today I might as well give up." What's wrong with a bit of encouragement and motivation? Again, weight loss doesn't happen overnight. It's as much of a mental process as it is a physical process.

Yeah, success stories are nice. But, it's good to "talk" about mistakes made too... and get feedback. And, I admit (as I admitted bf) feedback doesn't always have to be sugarcoated. In some cases, we're talking life and death.

And, I'm sure from time to time (after being here for so long) things might start to sound "whiny"-- bc you're so used to it. But, the ones that are "whining" aren't meaning to come off that way, I'm sure.

I hesitate to even post this-- I don't like drawing things out.