I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.
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Holy replies in 5 minutes.
Well I guess I got my answer.
To answer a few replies.
I know she does no exercise because she told me she doesnt, and for the year that I have known her, she has never said she has done anything active.
Another question was, why do I wish to know: I want to be able to talk with her about it and let her know there are ways to fix it. She may not know that toning can happen from rapid weight loss when loose skin appears. If she is living with this and is unaware of a way to fix it..I figured I could help. I'm seeing by the replies that this was a bad thought process.
Anyways, Thank you everyone for the replies...I guess I'll just keep it to myself.
Sorry, but loose skin cannot easily be "fixed". If one has battled weight problems all their lives, been extremely heavy, is older, and/or had children the loose skin is a fact of life. It's hurtful to point out to us how we don't meet the unrealistic standards of defying gravity that the high fashion models and movie industry have set for us. Exercising would be a good idea but I see posts on here by MFP members that have exercised their tails off and still have loose skin. Believe me, it's the thing I'm looking forward to the LEAST when I get down to a healthy weight and it won't help that people are staring and judging.0 -
being a nurse one of my first thoughts is rapid wt loss could be from disease or from anorexia. Also, It would not be good to call it "confronting". That implies confrontation. This will make anyone defensive. Like the one person said . she probably does already know about it. I lost 20 lbs awhile back but no strength training so I have this saggy arm skin that I hate. I'm hoping it will go away with my working with dumbells. starting at 5 lbs. Maybe you could suggest working with dumbells with you. and she might respond well to that. Otherwise definitely don't bring attention to it.0
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Sometimes silence is golden.0
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Dont say anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.. you are her friend.. and if shes comfy enough to open up she will GO TO YOU and ask/talk about it...
and basically its caused from a number of things... and loosing wt REALLY fast along w/no real exercise is DEF a cause for it!!
exercise/toning and w/weights n all that helps big time.. and of course age plays a part also..
doing MFP you should be fine and exercise too! :drinker:0 -
If you really want to know, just ask. If she's a close friend she shouldn't be too offended. If she does get really offended, then she's a weirdo. Why would you be offended by your friend's genuine concern?0
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Sometimes silence is golden.
BUMP0 -
I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
Hmmm I'm usually one not to promote thread high-jacking but...
Your fiance sounds like an a-hole. Drunk or not it's disrespectful and degrading.
Yup, this is called emotional abuse. Drunk is no excuse. There are lots of guys out there who can drink and not stoop to abusing their partners. If he can't, then he should recognize that he shouldn't drink, or you should recognize the abuse and move on. (I'll hijack too because this lady is being hurt by an abusive partner.)0 -
Unless you're her best friend or her boyfriend, keep yo damn mouth shut, boy! Ay-yi-yi. Do you know nothing about women?0
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Not to mention that it's not anyone's business to fix anyone else unless they ask you for help. If you're really a friend, you should accept her the way she is. Loose skin is not a danger to her, so saying, "There are ways to fix your loose skin," is not all that different from saying, "You look gross, but I know of ways to make you look less gross because surely you're concerned about how gross you look."Holy replies in 5 minutes.
Well I guess I got my answer.
To answer a few replies.
I know she does no exercise because she told me she doesnt, and for the year that I have known her, she has never said she has done anything active.
Another question was, why do I wish to know: I want to be able to talk with her about it and let her know there are ways to fix it. She may not know that toning can happen from rapid weight loss when loose skin appears. If she is living with this and is unaware of a way to fix it..I figured I could help. I'm seeing by the replies that this was a bad thought process.
Anyways, Thank you everyone for the replies...I guess I'll just keep it to myself.
Sorry, but loose skin cannot easily be "fixed". If one has battled weight problems all their lives, been extremely heavy, is older, and/or had children the loose skin is a fact of life. It's hurtful to point out to us how we don't meet the unrealistic standards of defying gravity that the high fashion models and movie industry have set for us. Exercising would be a good idea but I see posts on here by MFP members that have exercised their tails off and still have loose skin. Believe me, it's the thing I'm looking forward to the LEAST when I get down to a healthy weight and it won't help that people are staring and judging.0 -
Just hit it and move on...
Ok have to admit first reaction was to laugh at this because such a guy response.
Girl response, don't point out things because we tend to them OBSESS over them. If it's not hurting you (other then your eyes) then don't worry about it. I think I'd be more worried if she had a eating disorder.0 -
Why would you want to talk to her about it?
Mind your own business.
This...
OP: Granted I'm not a girl, but I missed the part where you explained why you needed to know and it was any of your business?0 -
Holy Crap.....ok, obviously the OP gets zero points for social skills. Yes, he is thinking like a guy without a clue. I am not defending the original post in any way. But come on people. On page 3 of this nightmare thread he says, "got my answer, my thought process is all wrong. I'm an idiot for bringing it up....(im paraphrasing here) and then we endure 6 more PAGES of piling on with everyone telling him what a dumb-*kitten* he is. REALLY??? Lets make sure we really kick the crap out of him while he's down. uuuuhhhh....he is starting to get back up again.....quick, someone else kick him in the nuts again. Give the guy a freaking break people.
He has acknowledged he has done the wrong thing. Do we leave something for the vultures or is absolutely necessary to steal every last stinking scrap of dignity he possesses.
This is why I rarely post something. Not that my social skills are as bad as this but you make a slip up like this and whole friggin' world turns out to tell you what a Fu*K up you are. <shakes head>
edited for spelling0 -
Not a woman here, but when it comes to weight, it's generally best to not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever be the one to initiate a conversation on that subject.0
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Seriously, what kind of people don't want honest friends. I would also expect someone as my friend to tell me I look like crap in an outfit, swim suits included.If you really want to know, just ask. If she's a close friend she shouldn't be too offended. If she does get really offended, then she's a weirdo. Why would you be offended by your friend's genuine concern?0 -
Not a woman here, but when it comes to weight, it's generally best to not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever be the one to initiate a conversation on that subject.
^^^^^ this0 -
Don't approach her? Why is it even your business?0
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Holy Crap.....ok, obviously the OP gets zero points for social skills. Yes, he is thinking like a guy without a clue. I am not defending the original post in any way. But come on people. On page 3 of this nightmare thread he says, "got my answer, my thought process is all wrong. I'm an idiot for bringing it up....(im paraphrasing here) and then we endure 6 more PAGES of piling on with everyone telling him what a dumb-*kitten* he is. REALLY??? Lets make sure we really kick the crap out of him while he's down. uuuuhhhh....he is starting to get back up again.....quick, someone else kick him in the nuts again. Give the guy a freaking break people.
He has acknowledged he has done the wrong thing. Do we leave something for the vultures or is absolutely necessary to steal every last stinking scrap of dignity he possesses.
This is why I rarely post something. Not that my social skills are as bad as this but you make a slip up like this and whole friggin' world turns out to tell you what a Fu*K up you are.
Did you miss the part in his reply (the one you are refering to) that he wants to tell her that her loose skin can be "fixed"? Yeah, I think you might have.
That's the nature of online forums, they get carried away and silly, if the OP can't handle it (and it looks like he can) then he shouldn't post.0 -
Not a woman here, but when it comes to weight, it's generally best to not ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever be the one to initiate a conversation on that subject.
I think you missed an "ever".....you're short one.0 -
If you wanna stay friends with her don't say anything about her loose skin, seriously! Women can be overly sensitive about their bodies. They don't wanna hear negative things about how they look. When people lose weight fast and not exercise to tone up the skin it will be loose. Just ignore it and don't worry about it.0
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Some people don't read every single post in a thread. I read the OP, which prompted me to respond. I didn't read to the third page. I didn't even know that he had responded until someone else on page 12 responded to his response. In his response, he explained his thought process, and that sounded pretty seriously messed up and worthy of addressing as well. If he doesn't want responses, he shouldn't ask for them.Holy Crap.....ok, obviously the OP gets zero points for social skills. Yes, he is thinking like a guy without a clue. I am not defending the original post in any way. But come on people. On page 3 of this nightmare thread he says, "got my answer, my thought process is all wrong. I'm an idiot for bringing it up....(im paraphrasing here) and then we endure 6 more PAGES of piling on with everyone telling him what a dumb-*kitten* he is. REALLY??? Lets make sure we really kick the crap out of him while he's down. uuuuhhhh....he is starting to get back up again.....quick, someone else kick him in the nuts again. Give the guy a freaking break people.
He has acknowledged he has done the wrong thing. Do we leave something for the vultures or is absolutely necessary to steal every last stinking scrap of dignity he possesses.
This is why I rarely post something. Not that my social skills are as bad as this but you make a slip up like this and whole friggin' world turns out to tell you what a Fu*K up you are. <shakes head>
edited for spelling0
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