I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.

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Tilran
Tilran Posts: 626 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.

The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.

I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.

So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.

Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.

I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
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Replies

  • GreekByMarriage
    GreekByMarriage Posts: 320 Member
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    Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).

    Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!
  • jenniferstanton
    jenniferstanton Posts: 132 Member
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    I wouldnt say anything. She probably already feels self conscious about it. I would wait till she talks about it. Why do you want to talk to her about it anyway? Just curious.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Why would you want to talk to her about it?

    Mind your own business.
  • SocWkrBee
    SocWkrBee Posts: 374
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    Leave her alone, seriously! She has to look at herself everyday. She knows what she looks like.
  • mdbs2004
    mdbs2004 Posts: 220
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    Just hit it and move on...
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    Her being a woman she is more than aware of her body so I wouldn't talk to her about it.
  • Smcnie
    Smcnie Posts: 12
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    Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).

    Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!

    SOooooooo true, believe me, we are more than aware of our wobbly bits - unless she brings it up, you are walking into some seriously dangerous territory! Keep schtm!
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    If she wants to talk about it, she will bring it up. Otherwise, pretend you saw nothing. It's none of your business, as nice as your intentions might be.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Wow.


    A) I'm sure she's aware. I bet she has a mirror

    B) If you don't want a swift kick in the nuts, I'd keep your mouth shut.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    Don't go there! If she has any kind of medical/weight loss history she wants to share with you, SHE'LL bring it up! I can only imagine how unhappy I would be if someone of the opposite sex, even a friend, commented on my loose tummy skin and stretch marked tummy from two pregnancies. Granted, I don't run around in bikinis, but still...
  • EmilyJaneRigali
    EmilyJaneRigali Posts: 59
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    yep... just as everyone has said... don't talk to her about it unless she brings it up. you'll have to stifle your curiosity until she decides she's okay with talking about something that probably really bothers her.

    unless you have a concern for her well being, i'd leave it alone.
  • Ravenesque_
    Ravenesque_ Posts: 257 Member
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    If you are asking her cause you are worried for her health - ask subtly

    If you are asking cause you are merely curious - STFU!
  • angelalf1979
    angelalf1979 Posts: 244 Member
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    Don't say anything at all. She is aware of it and probably self concious about it as it is. No sly way to bring it up without her knowing you aren't talking about her. What is your reason for wanting to bring up to her so badly? I see nothing positive happening from having a conversation like that. Just leave it alone. Us girls know what we are talking about.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    If you have no plans on shagging her, ask. If you want to keep her as a friend, explain your curiosity.
  • HerBravado
    HerBravado Posts: 392 Member
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    I would not even go there. :/
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
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    I would say mind your own +insert swear word+ business.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I agree with the above...don't ask...it's not going to go down a good path....

    just don't.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
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    keep quiet about it... simple!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    If she want's to talk about it she will raise the subject with you. :smile:
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    bahahahahaha. You must be kidding because you can't seriously think it would even be a remotely good idea to bring it up. Don't talk about it unless she brings it up. If you bring it up, you're 1)prying, 2)an idiot, and 3)ruining a friendship.

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