I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.
Replies
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If you are just friends then why is it any of your buisness how she got that extra skin? It is none of your concern.
If she is more than just a friend then why is it a problem? How people look shouldn´t be an issue as long as you love them or like them. It is her problem to live with and probably painful as well so I wouldn´t go into that kind of talk unless you are very very close.0 -
Wow. Unless you somehow meant that she appears dangerously thin, in spite of this loose skin, man... BUTT OUT. Regardless of how they lose weight, some people drew the short straw when it comes to genetics, and their skin simply does not shrink back that well. Not a single woman, or person for that matter, would like to have their major weight loss accomplishments acknowledged with comments that, essentially, read between the lines as "wow, I can tell you've lost a lot of weight because of all of your loose skin!" So unless you see her running to the bathroom after every meal, and/or have definitive proof that she has the eating habits of an anorexic, she probably falls within the wider spectrum of what doctors would consider reasonably healthy, and you should keep your thoughts to yourself.0
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Hahahahahah perfect clip0
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Shame... seems your a nice guy wanting to help her. If you get to know her better maybe you can bring it up. Feel free to give me tips on the subject though. My arms have lots of loose skin I just started weights and strength training...
Zara :-)0 -
+1How is this an important thing to bring up at all? The girl had the confidence to wear a bikini, something many of us do not have. Don't destroy her confidence for your own curiosity.
Another great post.0 -
Why do I feel this is a two-part topic..Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.
The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.
I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.
So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
Next week's follow up topic will be titled, "I need advice on how to ice my nuts, because a girl, that used to be a friend, just used mine as a soccer ball."0 -
lol.. it's really bugging u huh? Depends if yall are "good" friends. Close girlfriends wouldn't even bring it up. Maybe you can ask her round about questions and she might mention it. like you are losing weight and have ____ to go. It's so hard, you know what I mean. She might respond that she lost a lot. If not I wouldn't bring it up. She cant be too worried about it if she was wearing bikini?? Or you could take picture with her and point out your flaws and she might bring it up. Otherwise if you want to stay friends dont flat out ask her.0
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DON'T SAY ANYTHING! There is just no tactful way to bring up her appearance without hurting her feelings or making her feel self-conscious.
Talk to a health professional about it if you just want information. Otherwise, if you really just have to know, talk about your fitness journey and see if the topic arises on it's own. If it doesn't, just let it go.
I think Rachael on Friends said it best (paraphrasing): we all have things that we don't like about ourselves, and to learn that people we care about not only notice them too but think about them enough to ask other people about it is devastating.0 -
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Why do I feel this is a two-part topic..
Next week's follow up topic will be titled, "I need advice on how to ice my nuts, because a girl, that used to be a friend, just used mine as a soccer ball."
[/quote]
Holy crap this is funny...0 -
just me personally but i say just be blunt! if your thinking of this around here there is going to be a level of awkwardness in the air and as chic's we tend to pick up on these things. Having lost 100lbs in the past year I can say I have excess skin too I did exercise and continue to do so but when you loose a large amount of weight it tends to take a lot to not have excess skin. If she were that worried about it I don't think she would have been wearing a bikini... She would have found other attire for swimming that hid the skin if she were to self conscious about it. I think your best bet is to just be blunt and say " I dont want to upset you but ........." and go from there. I personally would think better of a male friend for just being honest with me rather than not asking at all. I mean come on she knows what she looks like perhaps this was her way of getting you to ask so that she could let you in on a part of her life that she had not previously shared with you.0
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I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.
Hmmm I'm usually one not to promote thread high-jacking but...
Your fiance sounds like an a-hole. Drunk or not it's disrespectful and degrading.0 -
unless she starts the conversation 'wanna know why i have all this baggy skin?' dont even go there... honestly if someone said anything to me about it, i would want to cry, so unless you want to make her cry shhhhhhhh dont mention it, dont even think about it!!0
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Unless you start dating her, leave it alone. This is not a friend "category" topic. As others have said, it's her own body. She is obviously aware of the issues and doesn't need you to point them out.0
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If it was a guy friend would you feel compelled to ask him too?0
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Why is this a problem?
If she says that she's vegan and you never see her eat, it's likely that she has an eating disorder. I have known a lot of anorexics who claim that they're vegan, celiac, allergic to every food under the sun. Maybe it's unfair, but it's my first assumption about anyone who I never see eat.0 -
I lost almost a hundred pounds in my mid-20's and ended up with loose skin. I definitely had a 'grandma' body at a young age. I tried dressing to conceal the lose skin as much as possible, but I was young and beach-loving. I would have been MORTIFIED if someone mentioned my loose skin. Thankfully, no one ever did, assuming they noticed, which they probably did. I would say to keep your curiosity to yourself, unless she mentions it.0
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I think your best bet is to just be blunt and say " I dont want to upset you but ........." and go from there.
Aw yeah, the magical "No offense." How could we have forgotten about these fail-safe phrases for broaching sensitive material? "I don't want to upset you, but you look like you're melting. No offense."0 -
Unless he starts dating her? How is that conversation going to go??Unless you start dating her, leave it alone. This is not a friend "category" topic. As others have said, it's her own body. She is obviously aware of the issues and doesn't need you to point them out.
"Hey baby... I really enjoyed that movie last night. Sooo funny. Hey, speaking of funny things... why do you look like you're melting??"
Just a guess, but sex is probably not an option that night.0 -
Do you really want to die today???!?!?!?0
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Skinny fat just means being a thin person who's in bad shape. It doesn't mean a skinny person who used to be fat and has a lot of extra skin.
Anyway, it's her business, and don't even ask her. She'll probably bring it up at some point.0 -
Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.
The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.
I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.
So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is
two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting
defensive or depressed about
Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.
This is terrible!! Don't see that it's ur business.
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By that measure, I know a TON of stupid-smart people.Skinny fat just means being a thin person who's in bad shape. It doesn't mean a skinny person who used to be fat and has a lot of extra skin.
Anyway, it's her business, and don't even ask her. She'll probably bring it up at some point.0 -
I hope you know how to bob and weave if you open your mouth to her.0
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Unless this girl has cried on your shoulder about her weight and the way she looks, you are not in that circle of friends to freely ask her about it.
You my friend have a lot to learn about women.0 -
God, you must think everyone is anorexic then. You should wear a sign that says, "Until you eat in front of me, I'm going to judge you."Why is this a problem?
If she says that she's vegan and you never see her eat, it's likely that she has an eating disorder. I have known a lot of anorexics who claim that they're vegan, celiac, allergic to every food under the sun. Maybe it's unfair, but it's my first assumption about anyone who I never see eat.0 -
Vistaprint.com will make those for like $20. Free shipping.God, you must think everyone is anorexic then. You should wear a sign that says, "Until you eat in front of me, I'm going to judge you."0 -
Just because you happen to think she looks bad doesn't mean she does, or that she thinks so. She may think she looks awesome, and that is really the only thing that matters. Good on her for having the confidence to wear a bikini.0
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If she is a good friend I would just be happy that she also wants to be your friend. Its inside that counts the rest is just skin pardon the pun. I`m sure she will talk about it one day with you when she is ready that really will be the best time. Good friends should be cherished for who they no matter how they look.0
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OP, did you eat paint chips when you were younger? :noway:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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This x 100Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).
Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!0
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