I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.

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  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.

    Hmmm I'm usually one not to promote thread high-jacking but...

    Your fiance sounds like an a-hole. Drunk or not it's disrespectful and degrading.
  • Jackie80taylor
    Jackie80taylor Posts: 76 Member
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    unless she starts the conversation 'wanna know why i have all this baggy skin?' dont even go there... honestly if someone said anything to me about it, i would want to cry, so unless you want to make her cry shhhhhhhh dont mention it, dont even think about it!!
  • jeslyn2360
    jeslyn2360 Posts: 54
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    Unless you start dating her, leave it alone. This is not a friend "category" topic. As others have said, it's her own body. She is obviously aware of the issues and doesn't need you to point them out.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    If it was a guy friend would you feel compelled to ask him too?
  • tisane42
    tisane42 Posts: 46 Member
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    Why is this a problem?

    If she says that she's vegan and you never see her eat, it's likely that she has an eating disorder. I have known a lot of anorexics who claim that they're vegan, celiac, allergic to every food under the sun. Maybe it's unfair, but it's my first assumption about anyone who I never see eat.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    I lost almost a hundred pounds in my mid-20's and ended up with loose skin. I definitely had a 'grandma' body at a young age. I tried dressing to conceal the lose skin as much as possible, but I was young and beach-loving. I would have been MORTIFIED if someone mentioned my loose skin. Thankfully, no one ever did, assuming they noticed, which they probably did. I would say to keep your curiosity to yourself, unless she mentions it.
  • valeriebpdx
    valeriebpdx Posts: 499 Member
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    I think your best bet is to just be blunt and say " I dont want to upset you but ........." and go from there.

    Aw yeah, the magical "No offense." How could we have forgotten about these fail-safe phrases for broaching sensitive material? "I don't want to upset you, but you look like you're melting. No offense."
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    Unless you start dating her, leave it alone. This is not a friend "category" topic. As others have said, it's her own body. She is obviously aware of the issues and doesn't need you to point them out.
    Unless he starts dating her? How is that conversation going to go??

    "Hey baby... I really enjoyed that movie last night. Sooo funny. Hey, speaking of funny things... why do you look like you're melting??"

    Just a guess, but sex is probably not an option that night.
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,234 Member
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    Do you really want to die today???!?!?!?
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Skinny fat just means being a thin person who's in bad shape. It doesn't mean a skinny person who used to be fat and has a lot of extra skin.

    Anyway, it's her business, and don't even ask her. She'll probably bring it up at some point.
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
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    Ok here is the thing: I have a friend who I have known for about a year. For that time, I really never saw her in skimpy clothing but she looked very skinny and in shape...she also claimed she was a vegan and dident eat very much on top of that fact.

    The other day I saw her in a bikini at the pool and I was shocked. She has a ton of loose skin around her stomach, arms and breasts. Obviously my first reaction was a TON of weight loss really quickly...and since I've only known her for 1 year..I know she has at least kept this weight off for that period of time. That being said, I dont know if its weight loss or not, just my guess.

    I know she does 0 exercise and that could cause this loose skin to happen if she lost a ton of weight. I also dont know if she lost it naturally or had surgery and I am afraid to confront her about it and make her angry or self conscious about it.

    So my question for you ladies is...how would you want a guy to approach you regarding this topic if this were you? My objective is
    two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting

    defensive or depressed about

    Also, I've never really seen "Skinny Fat" just heard about it...and what she has is how I pictured it...but it really does look bad...it looks like she just has too much skin for her body.

    I'd appreciate any advice you can give me.



    This is terrible!! Don't see that it's ur business. :(
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    Skinny fat just means being a thin person who's in bad shape. It doesn't mean a skinny person who used to be fat and has a lot of extra skin.

    Anyway, it's her business, and don't even ask her. She'll probably bring it up at some point.
    By that measure, I know a TON of stupid-smart people.
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    I hope you know how to bob and weave if you open your mouth to her.
  • CountryDevil
    CountryDevil Posts: 819 Member
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    Unless this girl has cried on your shoulder about her weight and the way she looks, you are not in that circle of friends to freely ask her about it.

    You my friend have a lot to learn about women.
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    Why is this a problem?

    If she says that she's vegan and you never see her eat, it's likely that she has an eating disorder. I have known a lot of anorexics who claim that they're vegan, celiac, allergic to every food under the sun. Maybe it's unfair, but it's my first assumption about anyone who I never see eat.
    God, you must think everyone is anorexic then. You should wear a sign that says, "Until you eat in front of me, I'm going to judge you."
  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
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    God, you must think everyone is anorexic then. You should wear a sign that says, "Until you eat in front of me, I'm going to judge you."
    Vistaprint.com will make those for like $20. Free shipping.
  • MamaKL5
    MamaKL5 Posts: 69 Member
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    Just because you happen to think she looks bad doesn't mean she does, or that she thinks so. She may think she looks awesome, and that is really the only thing that matters. Good on her for having the confidence to wear a bikini.
  • Kavikk
    Kavikk Posts: 4
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    If she is a good friend I would just be happy that she also wants to be your friend. Its inside that counts the rest is just skin pardon the pun. I`m sure she will talk about it one day with you when she is ready that really will be the best time. Good friends should be cherished for who they no matter how they look.
  • sheleen302
    sheleen302 Posts: 266 Member
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    OP, did you eat paint chips when you were younger? :noway:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :love:
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).

    Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!
    This x 100

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