I need a girl's advice regarding a man's problem.

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  • Arexxx
    Arexxx Posts: 486 Member
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    You want advice on how to point out her flaws?
    Yeah, no.
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
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    My objective is two fold. I want to figure out what caused this loose skin and I also want to be able to talk to her about it without her getting defensive or depressed about it.
    So the two reasons add up to only one reason - you're a *****. You aren't trying to accomplish anything other than satisfying your own curiosity. Who are you, Columbo? Jesus! You aren't going to help her in any way, so why would you even think about humiliating someone like this.

    Here's a bit of a girl's advice.... imagine someone coming and asking about a guy with a particularly small package. She can tell because she's seen him wearing tight pants. How can she bring up with him the subject that his tool is incredibly small without him getting defensive?
  • tyresank
    tyresank Posts: 174 Member
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    I have lost around 170 lbs and still shooting for another 25 or 35 approx. now that said I have loose skin, I was obese for years and skin does not go back that easy in most cases and especially the longer you are overweight. Age is a factor as well and likely had I been able to work with a trainer whilst losing the weight it may have been somewhat better. But my arms and bad for example and it would likely not be a topic I would like someone to approach me about, I know how they look but you can only so so much and you just accept what IS.

    Take the suggestions of the masses here and keep mum on the topic.
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    God, you're an idiot.
  • teejay2039
    teejay2039 Posts: 35
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
  • ryansgram
    ryansgram Posts: 693 Member
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    So why is this your problem?
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
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    Unless she asks, then NO. Just no. Unless you want to die, then it's up to you. Otherwise, butt out.
  • T34418l3angel
    T34418l3angel Posts: 474 Member
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    Smh, another classic case of a man about to insert his foot in his mouth (and get his *kitten* kicked afterwards!)
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonest
    dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
    adj.
    1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
    2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
    dis·honest·ly adv.
    Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
    These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
    Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
    Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
    Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
    Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.

    Concealment of the truth is dishonest.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???

    So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.
  • DaysFlyBy
    DaysFlyBy Posts: 243 Member
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    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.

    OMG WTF?!? Why is this loser your FIANCE?? I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that level of assholery. Srsly. I'd totally be using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet skids and pissing in his beer any chance I got if I stuck around so I'd do us both a favor and boot his *kitten* out of my life. >:(
  • Stary714
    Stary714 Posts: 110 Member
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    personally, I would be really just too self-conscious to show up in a bikini. my thought is that if she has a guts to show up at a public place like that when she isn't afraid of her weight loss. Just bring it up casually and tell her that your loosing weight too and i think she'll understand

    hope i helped :)
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
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    I have that due to GAINING too quickly. And I admit, it's terrible looking. What's worse is when my fiance gets o drunk and tells me how he really feels errr...how disgusting I look and how I should have surgery to get rid of the skin..as well as a breast lift to make everything proportional, it makes me feel like crap...and very insecure. Please leave her be. Let her bring the subject up...it's quite humiliating to be asked about it.

    OMG WTF?!? Why is this loser your FIANCE?? I'd rather be alone forever than deal with that level of assholery. Srsly. I'd totally be using his toothbrush to scrub the toilet skids and pissing in his beer any chance I got if I stuck around so I'd do us both a favor and boot his *kitten* out of my life. >:(
    I agree. That's abuse. Why are you with this guy? I hope for your sake you don't marry him and find that the drunken abuse becomes more than just verbal once you're hitched.
  • katmix
    katmix Posts: 296 Member
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    Um... keep your mouth shut LOL! I am sure she already knows about the skin and you bringing it up will only make her MORE self conscious about it then she already is (I'm sure).

    Unless you are planning to get into a relationship with her, then MAYBE the subject could come up, but otherwise... some things are better left unsaid!

    /\ This! Only she said it really nicely... :wink:
  • bbruske
    bbruske Posts: 8 Member
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    seriously, leave it alone. Not your business, don't be that guy.
  • IronPlayground
    IronPlayground Posts: 1,594 Member
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    Smh, another classic case of a man about to insert his foot in his mouth (and get his *kitten* kicked afterwards!)

    All guys aren't this stupid. Don't generalize.
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonest
    dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
    adj.
    1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
    2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
    dis·honest·ly adv.
    Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
    These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
    Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
    Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
    Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
    Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.

    Concealment of the truth is dishonest.

    so in your opinion, I should go up to one coworker and tell her that her shoes are hideous and she looks ridiculous trying to walk in them, then up to another and inform her that those pants are WAY too tight and look horrible on her *kitten* and love handles, then "honestly" point out to my boss that I noticed another coworker wearing a shirt that was against our dress code....

    right? I should? even though it is none of my business and doesn't directly affect me?

    if she asked him "does this look bad?" he could be honest then...

    but randomly approaching her to ask why she HAS saggy skin is not "being honest", it's being NOSY!
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???

    So if I am a police officer and am shooting meth, is it dishonest to not report it? I think withholding that information is dishonest.

    What does this have to do with not being rude to a person by shining a light on their imperfections for the sole purpose of satisfying your own morbid curiosity? Sometimes it's more important to be sensitive to people than to be brutally honest. Your argument is a straw man.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    personally, I would be really just too self-conscious to show up in a bikini. my thought is that if she has a guts to show up at a public place like that when she isn't afraid of her weight loss. Just bring it up casually and tell her that your loosing weight too and i think she'll understand

    hope i helped :)

    Thank you for saying it is ok to talk to his friend :flowerforyou:
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    ummm..... HOW is not bringing it up, being dishonest???
    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/dishonest
    dis·hon·est (ds-nst)
    adj.
    1. Disposed to lie, cheat, defraud, or deceive.
    2. Resulting from or marked by a lack of honesty.
    dis·honest·ly adv.
    Synonyms: dishonest, lying2, untruthful, deceitful, mendacious
    These adjectives mean lacking honesty or truthfulness. Dishonest is the least specific: a dishonest business executive.
    Lying conveys a blunt accusation of untruth: a lying witness giving inconsistent testimony.
    Untruthful is a softer term and suggests lack of veracity and divergence from fact: made an untruthful statement.
    Deceitful implies misleading by falsehood or by concealment of the truth: deceitful advertising.
    Mendacious is more formal than lying, and suggests a chronic inclination toward untruth: a mendacious and troublesome employee.

    Concealment of the truth is dishonest.

    So If I think my friend is a bit ugly in general I should tell them?
    This situation would be a bit like someone telling me I have freckles, (but a million times worse) they know what they look like.

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