Men..Is your wife outta shape?

245678

Replies

  • Justjoshin
    Justjoshin Posts: 999 Member
    Bash all the spouses!!!!
  • shanice_22
    shanice_22 Posts: 202 Member
    I found that I started to put on weight when me and my boyfriend started our relationship and I've noticed other women I know have done as well. I think it's because we get "comfortable" and aren't trying to impress anyone (since we've already found someone) that we tend to put on weight in relationships.

    I don't intend to put weight back though once I reach the size that I want to.
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
    I joke with my husband that he could divorce me because of fraud. I've gained 90lbs in the 7 years we've been together. And honestly I never thought "I have him now, I can just let myself go". I started eating differently with him, bigger meals. I started to eat as much as he did. He had 5 pieces of pizza i did too. I also have some medical things that caused it but that can't be my excuse.

    I'm losing weight for myself but also for my family. I want him to be proud that I am his wife. He tells me I'm beautiful but I know he'd like it if I was healthier.
    I too like you, want to be healthy for mysel but also for my family.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    AND HER COOKING STINKS TOO!!!!
  • fakeplastictree
    fakeplastictree Posts: 836 Member
    My wife is fat.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    My wife and I both lost weight since we got married in Jan 2011. She lost 50 lbs and I lost a little over 40 lbs so far. Our motivation to live a healthier lifestyle is based on wanting to teach our future children how to live healthy (IMO the best way to teach a kid anything is to lead by example), and to live a long life. We also enjoy being active together.

    I guess my point is getting married doesn't mean you will gain weight.

    Exact same for me and my husband!! We got married in June, and he watched me gain a bunch of weight the three years we were dating bc of taking care of a ill family member. We got married and I was like enough is enough i've got to lose the weight, I need to before we have kids. He offered to do it with me. So far i've lost 23 lbs and he's lost 30 something. Life is good. :)
  • Mellie289
    Mellie289 Posts: 1,191 Member
    I gained weight after I got married, but so did my husband. It had to do with our lifestyles at the time that involved lots of high fat foods, sedentary jobs with long commutes and little opportunity to move around. I lost it after we divorced (new job, more time to exercise), got a boyfriend and started gaining again, although I was NOT letting myself go - the second time it was because of thyroid issue that went undiagnosed for too long despite a few visits to the doctor complaining about my fatigue. The boyfriend also got a bit of tummy over the course of our year and a half relationship. Neither one of them cared about my weight gain as far as I knew.

    I don't understand your friend's comment about needing to become out of shape to find a man to marry. That makes no sense to me at all. I think many married people gain weight simply because of the circumstances of their life, especially for women who have children. It's not a conscious decision. I find the idea of married women being fat "and nasty" kind of insulting to married women too. Your friend should work on her personality to find a man to marry.
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
    My wife is on here. Both of us have no problem talking about weight or fitness. She is 5'3" and weighed 102 lbs when we met. She now is at 138. Her goal weight is now 125. She is aways smoking in my book!
  • Army_Love89
    Army_Love89 Posts: 30
    I put on weight during my husbands deployments overseas(Iraq). Just stress eating, horrible sleep schedule, didn't want to miss his call so stayed near my phone. He's been deployed 3 times and each time he comes back I'll lose some weight....I wouldn't care if my husband commented because he finds me beautiful & tells me several times a day however he wants me healthy & is working out with me, eating clean & motivating me! I was super fit before we got married as well but he has a super fast metabolism & can eat whatever he wants so when we got married I was "happy" and if he wanted ice cream I ate ice cream, pizza night whatever I ate what he ate and i'm not proud of that but it's the truth! He would say yes my wife is overweight however we are working out together and getting in shape together. I love him more then anything & he's never made me feel ugly he just hates how I feel about myself. WIth my weight gain we also put off trying to have a baby because he told me it'd be healthier for you & our future baby & he wants me to have a speedy recovery & not hate my post baby body so much.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    I met my 2nd husband on the tail end of my year long "divorce diet". . .NOT recommended. I was waifishly thin and unhealthy because I was depressed and distraught over my first marriage ending.

    I sure did gain weight. Got healthy. Then got unhealthy in the other direction after our son (our 5th child in total) was born and some ridiculous stress at work for about 2 years. He loved me then. He loves me now. He NEVER said one single negative word about my weight even when I complained about it. He told me I was beautiful at every benchmark on the scale.

    I began losing weight about a year and half ago and he joined me 8 months ago. We're both down over 30lbs each and feeling much better physically. But, our love is stronger only because we grow in our love for each other with each passing day, not the declining # on the scale!
  • Plates559
    Plates559 Posts: 869 Member
    Any smart man who is married and whose wife is here would never comment on this thread... I would kill my husband if he replied. Ahh yea my wife is outta shape. But being the wonderful husband he is, he would never even think about doing that. He may think it but he would never publically say it...

    I'm an honest person so when my wife asked me how I felt about her body I pretty much said "as long as your happy and healthy you're fine. As far as a physique goes you could do more x lift and drop x% body fat, as far as a lifter goes your bench sucks, your deadlift is awesome, and you are slacking on your squats and you know it."

    Call me a **** a jerk what ever, but she asked a question, she gets the answer.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    My wife isn't too ultra-sensitive or mean enough to discourage me from commenting on this thread (and she's also not fat like me)....BUT married people tend to gain weight. At least 75% of them gain weight after marriage.

    Single people are still trying to find a mate or at least make it on to someones booty call list, so they tend to be more aware of how they look.

    Makes perfect sense to me anyway. :)

    Yeah, I agree. Both men and women typically care less about their appearance with marriage. I'd say as we age we probably care less too, regardless of if we are married or not.

    If my husband were to answer he would just say "No, she is pregnant". That is pretty much his answer for everything right now.
    Me: "Honey am I fat?"
    Him: "No, you're pregnant"
    Me: "....thanks babe."

    I am pretty sure he uses my pregnancy as an excuse more than I do. He doesn't want to go somewhere.. "Oh sorry, I can't, my wife's pregnant" lol.
  • zombie_porno
    zombie_porno Posts: 199 Member
    If my husband came on here talking about my weight without me knowing, I probably would be hurt. Just saying.
    Why would you be hurt about you husband talking about your weight? Your on here talking about your weight....just saying

    Because it's okay for me to criticize my own body & change it as I see fit, but if my partner did so, it would be extremely insulting. I'm not going to critique my partner's figure or physicality because I love who they are as a person (& I'm not that shallow...), so I would appreciate the same courtesy & respect.
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
    I am speaking from my past experiences. When you are very happy & content in a relationship it is easy to not worry about weight and fitness. You have so many other obligations and he still loves you. I finally decided he deserves better and lost weight and I'm happier and he is very happy and it is great! If you have a good marriage and you are out of shape, think how happy you would be with more confidence in your body and yourself. I know I am.

    I LOVE this response! Truth
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
    I was complete opposite. I was thin while dating my (now ex husband) & then when I had his twins, I gained 90lbs (medical issues). Right after, I lost 85 of those lbs, but then when we got the diagnosis (both kids have cystic fibrosis) I comfort ate and gained about 30lbs. I went to my highest 195lbs and got married at that weight. RIGHT AFTER we got married, I lost 45lbs and dropped down to 150 (lowest I've ever been). I was 150lbs when I left the marriage. Now that I'm single & have struggled through divorce & all the hurt that comes along with a deabeat father & this disease....I'm back up to 173lbs (currently).

    I always seem to be THINNER in relationships. I think because when I'm single, I know I don't have to be naked infront of anyone. When I'm with someone, and "involved", I definitely don't want to be naked & uncomfortable with my weight, so I'm ALWAYS more trim and fit.

    I've recently started working on losing the weight AGAIN (that I gained after my divorce) and am hoping to be back down to 150 before I begin dating again <--- not the reason i'm not dating, i'm simply not ready, but it would be nice to be thinner when I do start so that I go in with more confidence and love for myself. :)
  • TKHappy
    TKHappy Posts: 659 Member
    My husband is not on here but I will speak for him! He would say yes I got out of shape and gained weight after we got married, my ex-husband would also say the same!

    My first husband I had my children with and when we met I was 130lbs (not in shape so to say but decent) when we divorced I was 176lbs!

    I took that time alone to take care of myself and got back down to 130lbs! I then met my current husband and after we got married I was comfortable and started eating like him and got up to 154lbs (our New Years Eve pic was my wake up call) and now over the last 8 months I have managed to get down to 127lbs were I plan on staying!

    However my husband also gained weight and we have lost the same amount of weight since the beginning of the year....so it can go both ways with the 'comfort weight'.
  • flatblade
    flatblade Posts: 224 Member
    I've been married 36 years, my wife was 103 lb. when we tied the knot. She has gained less than one pound per year since. She'd like to be firmer, but the years have a way of taking firmness and muscle tone out of us.
  • robinogue
    robinogue Posts: 1,117 Member
    Since my hubby knows nothin abotu my obsessions with MFP I'll answer for him. YES! I was 120 when we got married, slowly with age and years I got up to 153. He never said anything negative but I knew I wasn't the person he married and if I felt unattractive, how in the world could he find me attractive. I decided it was time to take my life back, once I started talking about it my husband came clean that I was a little bigger and although it didn't bother him much, it bothered him. Ummm okay... Welp I'm not at 118 now. So your question should now be, women are your men outta shape. My answer would be YUP!
  • MessyLittlePanda
    MessyLittlePanda Posts: 213 Member
    I did put on weight when I got into a serious relationship with my fella. Combination of things - Mirena was one, but so was eating out too much, takeaways, and too much wine and drinking. Then a course of steroids and latent celiac disease. But there was also eating out too much, takeaways, and too much drinking, and not doing any exercise because we were so busy eating out, getting takeaways, and drinking.

    I didn't want to be one of those women who let themselves go. It's a bit unfeminist to say it, but there it is, it happens, they do exist.

    Aint so attractive for men to let themselves go either!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Sounds like she thinks she needs to 'get fat' (and mean) before a man will marry her... Not gaining weight after being married....
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    MrSassypants is on here, I hope he does answer this thread.

    I let myself go, he never said a word about it, just loved me for who I am. He was more concerned about how unhappy I was with myself than the extra 60 pounds I had gained. Now we are both working hard to be smokin' naked.

    i like your man.
  • ukulele2010
    ukulele2010 Posts: 126 Member
    If my husband came on here talking about my weight without me knowing, I probably would be hurt. Just saying.

    Yep, this ^, I know what is good for me. But I also don't talk about my weight (at least I don't think so). I talk about nutrition, weight loss activities, etc.
  • AmyP619
    AmyP619 Posts: 1,137 Member
    I don't think you should stop caring about your health/looks after you get married just because you're no longer finding a mate. You should always be conscious of how you look, feel, and how healthy you are.... ESPECIALLY if you're married, i think. Marriage is for a VERY long time, so keeping your man interested and attracted to you would be kind of nice. Marriages go stale often because people just let themselves go. They think it doesn't matter anymore because they love you for you... which is true...but women should WANT to look good for their husband, at least I think!!!
  • heytherestephy
    heytherestephy Posts: 356 Member
    My boyfriend and I were both already slightly overweight when we started dating/moved in together. We are both now trying to lose the extra weight we have around, me more purposefully than he is ;) I have 30lbs to lose and he has about 20lbs.
  • eleonorawander
    eleonorawander Posts: 29 Member
    My friend gained 50 kilos (110 lbs) after her marriage. She keeps saying that she's stressed, we don't know how being married is, she's not like those famous women with personal trainers and bla bla bla. She's just finding excuses, cause she doesn't care about being in shape anymore. I'm concerned about her health cause she's started having heart problems and all that stuff, but she has "too much to do, she can't go to the gym, she's beautiful anyway". I remember before meeting her husband, how she kept saying I was fat, out of shape and sometimes she was being mean to be because of that... But I was fat because I had serious problems, now she's obese cause she's lazy. Yeah, I think married women tend to became lazy and they don't care about being in shape anymore, cause they were in shape not for themselves but just to impress boys. I think that my friend doesn't want to lose those extra pounds and be healthy again just because she was going to the gym (when she used to) just to find a boyfriend. Lots of people have to realize that being healthy and fit is something important, in the first place, for ourselves.
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    Living with a man is fattening. That is a recent study that I agree with. I married an athlete who could eat anything and relished big meals. I was fit, but it was hard to eat little portions while he was relishing big plates of delicious food and going back for seconds. Also, I cooked more special meals to make him happy. They tasted good and I ate more. I was no longer just caring for just myself but adding being helpful to someone else and ate for energy. Add kids to that formula and the day is all about food. My point is if the wife is gaining weight after marriage, maybe she needs a little more loving support to thrive.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    I gained about 20 lbs when my husband and I started dating. Mostly just because the time I would normally spend exercising I started spending with him instead. Plus he can COOK, so I was eating much larger meals than I did when I was single. Wedding came and I lost 35 lbs. After that, I pretty much let myself go. Gained about 30 lbs, broke my leg and was laid up for 4 months (gained about 10 lbs)....got PG with our son ended up with about 15 extra lbs post pregnancy....2.5 years later got PG with our daughter....had another 10 lbs to lose from HER. So...in all...that's 65 heavier than when we got married. He never said one word about it, and still wouldn't. He supports me either way. Now I'm getting in shape for ME. I want to be smokin' hot when we run into "old friends" around town and I believe he deserves to have a beautiful wife!
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    not shure if anyone has mentioned it but.....Men, are you dumb enough to say that your wife is out a shape?
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I wouldn't answer this question any quicker than answering the question "Does this make me look fat?"

    Or asking a woman if she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask a woman if she was pregnant, if her water broke and she began crowning right in front of me.

    My response is the same to any and all questions, in this category, that my wife may ask me: "You look wonderful tonight."
  • mojo1115
    mojo1115 Posts: 21
    Shoot! We BOTH gained happy weight. Then we realized we weren't as happy with ourselves with the extra weight. I gained 50 pounds and the hubs gained 40. In the past 7 months he has lost it all and then some (looking might sexy too) and I have dropped half of what I gained. But by the time I reach my goal weight I will be fit and thin, not just skinny. Neither one of us was unhappy with how the other one looked, because we grew together. Lol! It was a personal choice for both of us to get back in shape. Now we motivate each other.

Categories