Men..Is your wife outta shape?
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Why would you be hurt about you husband talking about your weight? Your on here talking about your weight....just sayingIf my husband came on here talking about my weight without me knowing, I probably would be hurt. Just saying.
Nope. I actually don't talk about my weight on here. However, you are asking men to comment on their wives weight, and those women may not be on this site.
I agree with you. I don't talk about my weight on here juts the level of fitness I want to obtain and that's where my focus is. I would be hurt knowing my husband talked behind my back about my weight and not just between us as husband and wife. I know the OP mentioned that some women have no problem talking about their husband's weight but that doesn't make it right. I hear many women talking about a lot of things they should keep between themselves. I, for one, would never talk to other people about my husbands weight. I guess every couple is different but we have a mutual respect in that area.0 -
Why would you be hurt about you husband talking about your weight? Your on here talking about your weight....just sayingIf my husband came on here talking about my weight without me knowing, I probably would be hurt. Just saying.
Because it's okay for me to criticize my own body & change it as I see fit, but if my partner did so, it would be extremely insulting. I'm not going to critique my partner's figure or physicality because I love who they are as a person (& I'm not that shallow...), so I would appreciate the same courtesy & respect.
When you marry someone you become one...your body is his and his is yours...if you treat your body poorly it effects your spouse the quality of his life, your income, your children Everything.....Why wouldnt you appreciate the open honesty of your spouse? prefering them to keep there opinions to themselves of what you look like. Thats fine if a person is hyper critical of themselves and not ready to hear the truth from someone they have commited to sharing there life with. I guess they'll figure out the truth when there sign. other begans looking at something more pleasing to the eye.0 -
Jeez, some people are so sensitive. Don't like the thread? Go someplace else!
Regardless, I think the majority of people would say this is true, for men and women. In the past I would lose motivation to work out after I got serious with someone because they made me feel comfortable with how I was. Now, I am doing this for me and I'd like to hope that if I got into a serious relationship, I would continue to keep working towards my goals.
But yes, people get comfortable. That's not to say they are slobs, or lazy but when you are happy with someone, a lot of people lose the drive to impress others, because the one person that matters is already impressed.0 -
Any smart man who is married and whose wife is here would never comment on this thread... I would kill my husband if he replied. Ahh yea my wife is outta shape. But being the wonderful husband he is, he would never even think about doing that. He may think it but he would never publically say it...
Lol!0 -
Yea, if my husband answered he'd be sleeping on the couch for weeks!
But I will give you what I hope is an honest look at it. When I was single I had all of the time in the world to work out and I went to the gym every day after work for an hour to two hours and an hour on Saturdays then played soccer on Sundays. When my husband met me I was in great shape.
Then we started dating, the gym days slacked off because we were making plans. I still went but not every day like I had been. Then I got pregnant and the gym days reallllly slacked off.
I am a bit different since my husband married me at my highest weight. But I will say having a family flips the switch. I don't have the time I had when I was single. I don't have the energy I had when i was single. Even my food choices are a struggle because the family wants meatloaf, lasagna, enchiladas. I have to balance out the healthy meals whereas when i was single I ate what I want. Even when my husband and I first moved in together a lot of times I made my dinner and he would pick up his fast food on the way home. :laugh: Can't do that now, I cook. I don't want my daughter eating fast food.
I personally let myself go during pregnancy and after pregnancy. I am getting back to it now but maybe some women never get to that point to want to take care of themselves again.
On the flipside, my husband is heavier than when I met him so that goes both ways.
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One of my pals always said he was looking for a girl who cared about keeping herself up both for her own well-being and for her spouse long term. I like to think of it as something that you do out of respect and appreciation for your spouse who is doing the same. The idea that once you've trapped someone into marrying you, you no longer need to be a healthy, active person seems crazy and completely counterintuitive to me anymore.
When I was married, my weight skyrocketed, but I've learned about proper nutrition and exercise since then and have been in a committed relationship for over a year without slipping into old habits. Part of it is having kids, which I have not been down that road yet. I think there's plenty of moms who just don't think they have time to work on themselves.0 -
I will not post on behalf of my wife because she doesn't use this site and it is not my job to talk for her or what she thinks. But here is food for thought. I got married at 175 and ended at 240 before i decided i needed to do something. So to answer the question i think you are sort of asking is. Yes i think people who get into a relationship or marriage tend to let themselves go a little bit because they are comfortable who they are and who they are with. They might not notice that until something happens and then they realize wow i gained a little. By the way alot of my weight gain came when my wife got pregnant. I gained 30 lbs she gained 15-20 of baby that went away. Mine didnt0
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This from a man of wisdom....LOL luv ya RD.I wouldn't answer this question any quicker than answering the question "Does this make me look fat?"
Or asking a woman if she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask a woman if she was pregnant, if her water broke and she began crowning right in front of me.
My response is the same to any and all questions, in this category, that my wife may ask me: "You look wonderful tonight."0 -
I wouldn't answer this question any quicker than answering the question "Does this make me look fat?"
Or asking a woman if she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask a woman if she was pregnant, if her water broke and she began crowning right in front of me.
My response is the same to any and all questions, in this category, that my wife may ask me: "You look wonderful tonight."
Listen to this man, he is really intelligent. :happy:0 -
Also another point, my husband told me he likes me with more weight on me and although he was attracted to me when we met he is MORE attracted to me now. He said he always liked chubby girls. I asked him if that was true how come he dated skinny ones.
His answer, because guys will make fun of other guys for dating girls with weight on them so a lot of guys will date skinnier girls even if that isn't their preference because of the pressure from other dudes.
My husband was a beer delivery man when we met so it was like a locker room mentality at work. :grumble:0 -
Only if women are dumb enough not to acknowledge that YES they are!not shure if anyone has mentioned it but.....Men, are you dumb enough to say that your wife is out a shape?0 -
ALL GIRLS PAY ATTENTION: If you get fatter after marriage, this will cause your husband to be less attracted to you. If he was attracted to fat, he would have married fat. But no, you are fit, you are toned, you have nice, proportional measurements. He likes that. The more you keep that, the longer he will stick around. You want to know a major reason on why guys cheat? THIS. As you get fat, your libido goes way down, and you dont want to spend the energy to "do it." If more people paid attention to this, less marriages will fall apart. The woman keeps man happy, and in return, man keeps woman happy, and has no reason to cheat. We like the boobs to be past the stomach, at least! If your stomach reaches farther than the boobs, this is a big nono. Take this advice with urgency. I know a few people are in this position that are reading this post.0
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you sir are a wise man!I wouldn't answer this question any quicker than answering the question "Does this make me look fat?"
Or asking a woman if she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask a woman if she was pregnant, if her water broke and she began crowning right in front of me.
My response is the same to any and all questions, in this category, that my wife may ask me: "You look wonderful tonight."0 -
Okay, truth is, if my husband were talking about my weight on here, without me knowing, it would hurt, because it would feel like gossip, and coming from someone who is supposed to love me more than anyone. It would be even worse if he did not talk tome about it first. If I am on here talking about my weight, that is just me talking about me and my struggles, not gossiping. I would not talk about his weight behind his back, ever. I have nothing but praise for him, because he is wonderful.
Just saying.0 -
you sir are a wise man!I wouldn't answer this question any quicker than answering the question "Does this make me look fat?"
Or asking a woman if she's pregnant. I wouldn't ask a woman if she was pregnant, if her water broke and she began crowning right in front of me.
My response is the same to any and all questions, in this category, that my wife may ask me: "You look wonderful tonight."
Agree!0 -
Thanks for your honest opinionMy friend gained 50 kilos (110 lbs) after her marriage. She keeps saying that she's stressed, we don't know how being married is, she's not like those famous women with personal trainers and bla bla bla. She's just finding excuses, cause she doesn't care about being in shape anymore. I'm concerned about her health cause she's started having heart problems and all that stuff, but she has "too much to do, she can't go to the gym, she's beautiful anyway". I remember before meeting her husband, how she kept saying I was fat, out of shape and sometimes she was being mean to be because of that... But I was fat because I had serious problems, now she's obese cause she's lazy. Yeah, I think married women tend to became lazy and they don't care about being in shape anymore, cause they were in shape not for themselves but just to impress boys. I think that my friend doesn't want to lose those extra pounds and be healthy again just because she was going to the gym (when she used to) just to find a boyfriend. Lots of people have to realize that being healthy and fit is something important, in the first place, for ourselves.0 -
My husband and I have been together for....a really long time: married for almost 15 years and together years prior to that.
Over the course of our being together, I put on some weight - about 35 lbs at my max (not including the times I was pregnant...because then I have to add an additional 30-40 lbs). I never consciously thought, "Oh...I have him now. I can do whatever." He has loved me the same the entire time. As for my loving myself, not so much....but I always had excuses. Plus, my husband would always feed me fattening foods when he cooked - something I never did prior to meeting him. I had joked that he liked me fattened up. And thus, I figured I was to always be about 20-25 lbs overweight. I was "ok" with that because I wasn't about to give up my vices: bread, sweets, etc. But then I was 35 lbs. overweight instead of 20-25 lbs. and I thought, "enough was enough." That was last July.
So...now I am 35 lbs. lighter than last year - the weight I was in college. Still happily married. And now..no longer fat. Woot.
And while my husband is proud of me...he is less impressed with me than I am with myself. Why? Because I don't honestly think he cared. He is happy I am healthier, but bless this man - he has said I was just as beautiful last year as I am now.
On a side note, my husband has stayed just as fit as he was when we met in college: lean and muscular. I have to say what an awesome man to put up with my laziness for so many years....even when he went to the gym 3-4x a week consistently.0 -
A few single girlfriends and I were having this conversation and one of my friends said she felt like she was going to have to become fat and nasty in order to find a man to marry.
I don't understand why being fat and nasty would make a woman marriage material.
When you are single, there's an expectation to be in good shape. You are wooing new people, and you need to put your best foot forward. I think that a sense of complacency can creep into a marriage, and that can cause weight gain. People might think that they are now off the market and don't have to worry about staying fit. To me, it is easier to keep your current significant other happy and attracted to you rather than going to find a new one.0 -
Wife told me when we first started dating "Dont let me get fat!"0
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Am a married middle aged lady who has gained weight over the years. However, it wasn't because I thought that I have a man so it doesn't matter. Going from Single and 30, to married with kids and a home and a full time job by mid 40s is a lot of life changes. Its a matter of juggling all of those things successfully. For some, finding time after being needed full time by your children, keeping house, making meals, working all day and being a good wife to workout and watch your food intake is just a bit overwelming. Just some thoughts.0
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My wife is on here and I'll comment. Yeah - after our second child we both got out of shape and put on a bunch of excess baggage. You don't have anyone to try to impress anymore, so you just let things slide.
Fortunately we decided to work together to get back in shape and look completely different then what we did 20 months ago.
That's awesome!! Good for the BOTH of you!!!
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A few years back I was too thin when I was unhappily married.0
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By the way, I have been married for 8 years, and the main reason behind my weight gain was thyroid and insulin levels. NOT because I was lazy and didn't care. As soon as I got those two issues settled, I started losing weight...FAST. The reason behind more recent weight gain?My second PREGNANCY. But I am proud to say that I have lost all of my pregnancy weight, and am healthier now than I have ever been, and yes...STILL happily MARRIED.0
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ALL GIRLS PAY ATTENTION: If you get fatter after marriage, this will cause your husband to be less attracted to you. If he was attracted to fat, he would have married fat. But no, you are fit, you are toned, you have nice, proportional measurements. He likes that. The more you keep that, the longer he will stick around. You want to know a major reason on why guys cheat? THIS. As you get fat, your libido goes way down, and you dont want to spend the energy to "do it." If more people paid attention to this, less marriages will fall apart. The woman keeps man happy, and in return, man keeps woman happy, and has no reason to cheat. We like the boobs to be past the stomach, at least! If your stomach reaches farther than the boobs, this is a big nono. Take this advice with urgency. I know a few people are in this position that are reading this post.
Oh dear Lord, here we go...... :noway:0 -
that's great....once I hit goal, Ill be telling my husband the exact same thing.Wife told me when we first started dating "Dont let me get fat!"0 -
There are lots of married postings but I'm single and I'd like to throw in my two cents. I gained weight after my daughter was born, got into a relationship with a good cook and gained more weight. I'm single but I want to get healthy now as a role model for my daughter, to give her a healthy perspective on what an adult woman should look like and what good heatlh looks like. But I'm also doing all this for me. Just a different perspective.0
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I kinda get it. "why do i need to stay fit/wear makeup/dress nice? i snagged a man, i dont need to impress anyone" my fiance and i have been together for almost seven years, and i must say i dont feel so pressured to wake up and immediately get showered, dressed nicely, and don makeup- if i didnt enjoy fitness anyway my relationship wouldnt prompt me to work out. honestly, once youre in a commited relationship the effort kind of dissipates.0
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She being SARCASTICSounds like she thinks she needs to 'get fat' (and mean) before a man will marry her... Not gaining weight after being married....0 -
My husband's wife is still in shape, 15 years and 4 kids later. No excuses.0
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ALL GIRLS PAY ATTENTION: If you get fatter after marriage, this will cause your husband to be less attracted to you. If he was attracted to fat, he would have married fat. But no, you are fit, you are toned, you have nice, proportional measurements. He likes that. The more you keep that, the longer he will stick around. You want to know a major reason on why guys cheat? THIS. As you get fat, your libido goes way down, and you dont want to spend the energy to "do it." If more people paid attention to this, less marriages will fall apart. The woman keeps man happy, and in return, man keeps woman happy, and has no reason to cheat. We like the boobs to be past the stomach, at least! If your stomach reaches farther than the boobs, this is a big nono. Take this advice with urgency. I know a few people are in this position that are reading this post.
I'm so glad that not all men think this way. Men (or women) cheat because they are selfish. I've seen them do it to their skinny wives, beautiful wives, and wives who gave them intimacy all the time. Being overweight isn't sufficient reason so be cheated on, and thankfully, my husband actually loves me and stayed because there was more to hold him there than just superficial looks. Also, you seem to put it all on the woman, as if men never do anything in a marriage that makes them less desirable. I am all for trying to keep yourself up. I do think it helps with physical attraction, and self esteem, however I disagree completely with what you said. Plus, my libido was fine even at my fattest.
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