would you discipline someone for disciplining your child?
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Depends on the situation. I yelled at a kid who said crude things to my daughter. His father called me and told me I shouldn't have done that and should have spoken to him instead. I politely told him to go f himself.
This... When it involves you or your own children, you have every right to speak up. If the parents don't like it, tough. Let them deal with it later in private. At least you said something.0 -
I don't have children myself, but I do say something to my friend's kids ONLY because I know certain friends are okay with it. I don't ever try to discipline out of line. I do like the "it takes a village" mentality but sometimes there are people out there who just get all crazy over a kid being a kid so if someone tried to discipline my kids I would look at them funny or say something depending on what my child is doing and if it really needs a word from the peanut gallery.0
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Kind of an odd question
made a lot more sense when the other 2 threads about others disciplining a child were on page 1...0 -
If it is family or close friends and I am not around, I am fine with it. Teacher at school, OK, within reason. If I am around, let me do the disciplining. If you are a stranger and choose to discipline one of my kids, I am going to choose to bury you were you stand.
^ This0 -
As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong0 -
It depends on the person. Sometimes, raising kids really does take a village. Other times, how things are phrased by other people irks me, and I'm like, I'll discipline my own kid thankyouverymuch.
This. I'm only 25, and when I was growing up, it was the neighborhood AND my parents who raised me. I knew that if I was acting a fool around the corner, Mrs. So and So would be after me, and then when I got home my parents would be after me, too. I didn't experience the "you bet not say anything to my child" phenonmenon until I was much older and out of my community. But, I'm from Mississippi and I'm African American....so....it was a different village I grew up in.0 -
I work at a sporting goods store part time and every SINGLE shift, parents come in and head off into the store to do their shopping, allowing their children to run WILD and climb all over the fitness equipment, clothing racks......some even get bikes from the display racks and ride them around the store.
If I weren't afraid of getting fired, you bet your *kitten* I would snatch those kids off those machines so fast it would make their heads spin. I observe parents all the time, in many situations, any store, restaraunts, offices...wherever.....allowing their children to run around like wild animals and I promise you, my child did NOT behave that way.
IF she were to behave that way, I'd have THANKED anyone who put her in her place if I weren't present to do so myself.0 -
If any of my 3 kids are acting out of line whether at school or another person's house. Please discipline them but that does not mean verbally abuse, spank or hit them. It takes a village to raise kids and over the last 5 years fear of discipline has cause some kids to think they rule the world adults need to gain control once again. If a spanking is warranted than we as a family unit will deal with that.0
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Umm, if your kid is annoying me, I will say something. Don't like it, then learn to discipline your kid without him annoying me. We live in a culture where the parents obey their kids. This is not the case where I come from and misbehavior is not tolerated from our or others kids. We used to speak gently to the kid telling them to calm down and/or tell the guardian to make the kid pipe down.
That being said, there is a bit if finesse required. You cannot go around screaming at kids or raising hands. You gotta be gentle. Gently tell them to calm down or something to that affect (sorry can't be specific, not a parent just telling what I saw as a kid myself). If you raise your hand or even your voice to my nieces or nephews you better have good running shoes because I'm chasing your *kitten* to hell.
BTW, I believe restaurants should ask the patrons who's kids are screaming uncontrollably to leave or atleast step outside while they resolve the issue. Sounds mean but I'm outside to have good time and paying good money for it. I'm paying no less than the folks with kids so why do I have to have my evening ruined because of you or your kids?0 -
I don't have any children but if I did, I would discipline someone that disciplined my children. I would also expect to be disciplined for disciplining someone for disciplining my child, and I would expect the person disciplining me for discipling the person that was disciplining my child to be disciplined.
head hurts- you win.0 -
Did your child do something wrong? Were you there to correct that behavior? If you weren't, and someone else was and they implemented an appropriate punishment, no. If it wasn't appropriate, then there would be hell to pay.
People have very different definitions of "appropriate", though. I spanked my child...she's 17 now and I still WOULD spank her if she deserved it. There are people who would call CPS if they saw me spank her, then or now. Thankfully, my child listened when I spoke and I've not had to spank her or even ground/restrict her much since she was around 4.
I'm blessed. :laugh:0 -
Maybe not if it were done properly but I would correct someone for hurting my child in any way.0
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I don't have any children but if I did, I would discipline someone that disciplined my children. I would also expect to be disciplined for disciplining someone for disciplining my child, and I would expect the person disciplining me for discipling the person that was disciplining my child to be disciplined.
I totally missed this post, as I checked this thread after there was a few replies....
THANK YOU...somebody got the point of this thread...LOL0 -
It depends on what you mean by discipline.
If someone if spanking my child, then yes I will "discipline" that person. But if a teacher or family member is verbally correcting my child for doing something wrong then that is ok.0 -
The Bible says...it takes a village to raise a child! I dont have any but if I see any kids in my neighborhood out of order I will correct them verbally but NOT put my hands on them.
It depends on your relationship with the person that is doing the disciplining.0 -
Well of course...
As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong
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It's funny you ask that this morning. Yesterday after dinner my two year old was bouncing off the walls and my other kids were still eating before I took them outside to play. He broke something and my dad who we have been living with for the last year gave him a THIRTY minute time out for that. Keep in mind that I allow my dad to give them a time out if they are being really bad with him, because they need to learn to respect him. I try to keep the peace with my dad (we will be moving out in Oct anyway) but I felt 30 minutes was excessive. I told him "Why don't we just do 15 minutes?" and he told me NO. Alriiiiiight, Dad. I really had to bite my tongue on this one. grrrrr.0
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It really depends but if they where at a friends or at school I wouldn't get upset if the adult in charge told them off for being bad. They have to learn to have respect for their elders or the rules of where they are.
Absolutely!!0 -
I might be scolded for saying so but um NO and being why is I find that most kids today are not disciplined at home in any way. Maybe I am just recalling how I was raised but when I for example, busted out a window from careless horseplay where I could have avoided breaking said window, I usually got the belt a few times. Now kids seem that they can go down the street into woods and oops start a fire and they just get yelled at...0
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If my kids are actually doing something wrong and I am not there or do not see it, EVERY SINGLE one of you have the right to SAY SOMETHING! That is the problem, "kids these days" do what ever they want because of the parents. They have no respect for adults or authority because when they do something wrong Mommy and Daddy swoop in to solve their problems for them. They teach kids their kids that other adults can't do anything about their behavoir. "Don't discipline MY child" is not something you will hear me say. I would make my kid own up to his/her behavoir and take responsibility rather than going after the other adult for "disciplining" my kids
Here, it is simple.... kids that make bad choice should be called on it. I, as a parent, can't be everywhere all the time. My kids are going to make bad choices, as expected, and I would hope an adult would say something to them.0 -
My wife and I both have advanced degrees...we're both absolutely going to be THOSE parents who know everything better than our son's teachers...
Considering my jaded view as the smart kid in the small town...I really feel for my son's teachers. Hopefully he is like me and the worst thing he ever does is do his work too well and annoy teachers because he's bored.0 -
I don't have any kids of my own yet but I'm often presented with the dilemma of whether or not to discipline my 3 nephews (6, 4 and 2) when their parents (my sister-in-law and her husband) are completely ignoring their bad behavior. These boys are good overall but easily get out of control when no one pipes up so I've gone from saying nothing and griping about their bad behavior later to my husband to saying something when I'm the only adult around paying attention and feeling better about my contributions to their development. As a part of their extended family I feel comfortable doing this but if it were friends or strangers I would hold my tongue or bring it up to the parents for them to dish out the discipline.0
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I have to agree a bit with everyone. If I am there and know what they are doing then there is no need for anyone to say anything and the only way anyone should say anything is if they are putting themselves in danger. Same goes I will not say anything to other kids as long as there is no chance if getting hurt AND the parents are not there to supervise. If the parents are there then thats there problem. I did once yell at a little boy (1.5 years old) to get down as he was going to fall over a rail and down a hill and his mother was there but her back was turned and if I had waited he could have been seriously hurt. I did approach her after and apoligize. I know I would have been mildly upset if someone had yelled to my son to get down however I didnt want him to be hurt and she said it was fine. I also would not be upset if someone had done the same for one of my boys. I have 3 so I may have my back turned to one of them at the park at any point.
However yelling at my kid for bullying another child. That is a different story. I would prefer you come talk to me but I may just tear into him just as much if not more than you so he may just get it twice.
I did have a father in law who would tell my kids to not play with that toy at the table ect and just be a pain in the *kitten* and I told my husband if he didnt set his dad straight I would snap next time he said something. He now says nothing!0 -
THIS totally 100%.I don't want my child to think that I will make excuses for them. I want them to face penalties for their actions. I learned very early (many parents don't ) that the kids WILL play you! They will give you every reason they shouldn't be in trouble and how it wasn't their fault or it was an accident. While you want to believe your child, and your child should trust you. I think you need to almost be an investigator or accept that at times someone else may have to help parent your child,.
I tell my kids it is their choice to behave or misbehave, but to understand they will face consequences. I even told them sometimes it may be worth the consequences, but they need to always choose carefully.
I look at the parents who always make excuses or never see that their child is capable of lying. These are the kids who get in the most trouble and will bully. The ones who make a teachers day He!!. Parents need to learn to guide their children, sometimes with help, not have kids and want to pretend their child is perfect.0 -
fvck yes. and i don't even like children. but if i had one, and someone else dared to touch it, i would go batsh!t crazy.
by the same token, if my child was acting like a brainless heathen, then i wouldn't consider a "timeout" inappropriate, or something of that nature. but lay a hand on my baby and i will tie you in knots, cover you in barbecue sauce, and feed you to voracious wolves.0 -
Physical discipline is not allowed. As far as verbal, it totally depends on who does it and what my daughter did.0
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It is totally dependant on the situation.
If my 11 year old Son is acting like an idiot in class and the teacher diciplines him, then I have no problems with that whatsoever.
If my same Son is playing outside on a Saturday afternoon and someone diciplines him for being too loud, well, NOW we have a problem.
Yup - ^^^This.0 -
If my kid is doing something that needs to be addressed and I'm not around to address it, then by all means, please discipline my child. I mean, teachers are going to have to discipline the kids when they're in school, and if my kids are at a friend's house without me I certainly wouldn't expect the parents to let my kids run amok. When another adult is in a position of authority, they are the "boss" for that period of time. I have no problem disciplining children in my care either. But by "discipline," I mean verbal correction and/or a time out or something of that nature, not spanking. I would not allow someone to care for my children again if they used physical discipline.0
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Depends, if my child is behaving in a way that is:
1) harmful to himself or someone else
2) breaking established rules of where ever he is
and I don't see it then I'd be grateful for someone to step in; provided they did it in a proper non-abusive way. Otherwise, butt the hell out!
OR if I have left my child in your care, then I obviously trust you enough to discipline as necessary.0 -
If my kids are actually doing something wrong and I am not there or do not see it, EVERY SINGLE one of you have the right to SAY SOMETHING! That is the problem, "kids these days" do what ever they want because of the parents. They have no respect for adults or authority because when they do something wrong Mommy and Daddy swoop in to solve their problems for them. They teach kids their kids that other adults can't do anything about their behavoir. "Don't discipline MY child" is not something you will hear me say. I would make my kid own up to his/her behavoir and take responsibility rather than going after the other adult for "disciplining" my kids
Here, it is simple.... kids that make bad choice should be called on it. I, as a parent, can't be everywhere all the time. My kids are going to make bad choices, as expected, and I would hope an adult would say something to them.
You are my new BFF!
I have a 14 year old daughter. She's a great kid most the of the time - but at 14 she's far from perfect. I tell any teacher to put her in her place when she acts up.... and if that doesn't solve it call me right away and I'll come to the school to take care of it immediately. That goes for any adult in her presence as well. I'm not saying knock her upside the head, but put her in her place... and then she'll get a double dose from me when she gets home just like my mother did.0
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