would you discipline someone for disciplining your child?
Replies
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As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong
I have good kids. They don't get in trouble in school, or if they do I've never been notified. It's very rare they are away from me unless they are at the grandparents. Of course they do wrong sometimes. They're kids. But I take my time with them, raise them properly to make good decisions. If they don't, that's where *I* step in. My 12 year old for example, points out kids that are like the ones YOU are talking about. They sure aren't perfect, but over my dead body will someone else go over my authority and disciple my kids or tell them what to do. If protecting my children from strangers (and yes, I see this as a major threat to my child) is the wrong attitude to have, I'll gladly accept that.0 -
Lack of discipline is what's wrong with this world! Sorry!0
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:laugh: Well... I feel that if my child is acting out and I have been given ample opportunity to say something to him and I don't... by all means go ahead and say something. However, make sure that whatever he is doing is REALLY TRULY out of line because if you open your beak in his direction and he IS behaving ok and you are just being an Ahole, kid hating adult, I for SURE am going to have something to say to YOU.
This!0 -
Did your child do something wrong? Were you there to correct that behavior? If you weren't, and someone else was and they implemented an appropriate punishment, no. If it wasn't appropriate, then there would be hell to pay.
People have very different definitions of "appropriate", though. I spanked my child...she's 17 now and I still WOULD spank her if she deserved it. There are people who would call CPS if they saw me spank her, then or now. Thankfully, my child listened when I spoke and I've not had to spank her or even ground/restrict her much since she was around 4.
I'm blessed. :laugh:
Point here. I have no issues spanking, but I would never spank someone else's child and I would expect the same. I would tell the child if they don't stop, I will tell their parents. If I know the parents spank, the kid will think about it.0 -
As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong
Exactly. I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't want to be around these kids in the first place, so no loss there! I have too many friends who are teachers who are subject to this attitude. "Don't correct my child... I'll do it when they get home." Well, if you were correcting them at home they would know better than acting out at school. (Not talking about little things... everyone acts up. I mean behavioral issues.)
I am constantly observing rotten behavior in public with parents standing idly by. This would include vile language, rambunctious and rude behavior in public places, and not sitting in a NON FAMILY restaurant (running to other tables, having conversations with other diners.) Kids are kids... and they should have fun. But if they are in an adult location they should behave or their parents should remove them from the situation and take them somewhere appropriate. However, I know not to say ANYTHING to strangers about their children's behavior unless a law/public safety concern is in play.
When it comes to children of family and friends, I have every right (especially if they are in MY home) to tell them what is and what isn't acceptable behavior if they cross a line that their parents have set. However, most of my friends and family have beautifully behaved children and it rarely is an issue. My friends and family trust me to enforce their rules when I am in charge of their children, and any rules I have that we've discussed prior to a visit or babysitting adventure!
Assumption: we're talking about non-physical punishment here! Time outs, verbal reprimands, etc.0 -
As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong
I have good kids. They don't get in trouble in school, or if they do I've never been notified. It's very rare they are away from me unless they are at the grandparents. Of course they do wrong sometimes. They're kids. But I take my time with them, raise them properly to make good decisions. If they don't, that's where *I* step in. My 12 year old for example, points out kids that are like the ones YOU are talking about. They sure aren't perfect, but over my dead body will someone else go over my authority and disciple my kids or tell them what to do. If protecting my children from strangers (and yes, I see this as a major threat to my child) is the wrong attitude to have, I'll gladly accept that.
Good luck with that
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As an situationed example... I was at the park with my kids a few weeks ago playing in the water-feature. There were several picknicking families (us included) with babies and toddlers, as well as some young kids and slightly older kids. There were a couple of boys who kept throwing fist sized rocks toward another boy in our area. One of the random mothers told him to "Please stop throwing rocks." The boys didn't listen. They kept throwing rocks into the same vicinity as the babies, toddlers and younger kids. I completely lost my *kitten*. I stood up and YELLED for them to DROP THE ROCKS and stop throwing them. I explained that there were babies and they were going to hit someone with a rock. The kids dropped the rocks and stopped throwing them. Mission accomplished. Their parents were ALLLLL the way across the park under a cabana, enjoying some type of gathering-- letting their kids run amock and do whatever they wanted with zero supervision. They had NO idea that I had just "disciplined" their boys. I would have "disciplined" them if they would have said anything to me about it. LOL! Kidding.
This is why you don't be a stupid parent. My oldest is 12, and even at that age I would NEVER be on the other side of a park and just let her run free. Stay with your kids and WATCH them. No matter how old they are.0 -
it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
This!!
With the exception of teachers, then I'd expect to know about it and what the issue is.
Ok I have to add, I think discipline, I think some kind of physical discipline... not just verbal correction.0 -
My wife and I both have advanced degrees...we're both absolutely going to be THOSE parents who know everything better than our son's teachers...
Considering my jaded view as the smart kid in the small town...I really feel for my son's teachers. Hopefully he is like me and the worst thing he ever does is do his work too well and annoy teachers because he's bored.
As for you... teachers have advanced degrees. They have to in order to teach, at least in most states. You won't know more than a seasoned teacher about child behavior,psychology or education. (Unless your advanced degree is in education.) Best adjust that attitude before you send your precious peanut to school.
Also, must have been lonely growing up as "THE" smart kid in town. This kind of arrogance is what drives teachers batty.0 -
I must stop looking at this thread or I am going to lose my EVER LOVING MIND! What is going to happen when your kid breaks the law. Are you going to say "bad Mr. Police Man! My angel can only be disciplined by ME, how dare you go above my authority! "0
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Did your child do something wrong? Were you there to correct that behavior? If you weren't, and someone else was and they implemented an appropriate punishment, no. If it wasn't appropriate, then there would be hell to pay.
People have very different definitions of "appropriate", though. I spanked my child...she's 17 now and I still WOULD spank her if she deserved it. There are people who would call CPS if they saw me spank her, then or now. Thankfully, my child listened when I spoke and I've not had to spank her or even ground/restrict her much since she was around 4.
I'm blessed. :laugh:
Point here. I have no issues spanking, but I would never spank someone else's child and I would expect the same. I would tell the child if they don't stop, I will tell their parents. If I know the parents spank, the kid will think about it.
Right.....I'd not allow anyone else to spank her (with the exception of family/friends). I did fail to mention that bit....... :blushing:
But I agree with another poster....parents obey their kids now and that really is NOT ok. Most children today have a dreadful lack of respect for authority, little to no empathy for anyone less fortunate than them, they're all spoiled and this "You're all winners!" bullsh*t is going to leave us with a bunch of talentless, no drive, low ambition adults running our country when we get old.
Ok...rant over. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Every single answer to this post should have started off with IT DEPENDS.
IT DEPENDS on the situation.
IT DEPENDS what you mean by discipline.0 -
Good luck with that
I've had good luck with that for 12 years and counting. And never once had a problem or had to tell anyone off, nor have ever had anyone try to say/do anything. I guess my horrible children are just too sneaky to get caught huh? 0 -
I think it depends on what the child is doing. . .
for instance. . . if my parents are wathcing my daughter (shes 2) and she acts out i expect them to disciplin her as to teach her right from wrong. . .
but , if shes acting out in a store in a mall, and someone yells at her for whatever the reason. . . i WILL make the person cry. . . no body but my baby sitters, and or family can disciplin my child. . .0 -
Depends on what the child was doing and how they were disciplined0
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depends...0
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I didn't take any crap from my kids so no one ever had to go over my head to discipline them. But, in theory, if my kid was misbehaving and someone said something to them, I would probably approve. It can take a village to raise a child and I would be grateful if someone was pointing out bad behavior by my kid.
Of course I am probably in the minority. :happy:0 -
I must stop looking at this thread or I am going to lose my EVER LOVING MIND! What is going to happen when your kid breaks the law. Are you going to say "bad Mr. Police Man! My angel can only be disciplined by ME, how dare you go above my authority! "
BWAHAHAHA!!! This^^^^^^^0 -
it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
I understand where you are coming from, but what about teachers? They have to be able to have some control over the kids or else they won't be able to get anything done, right?0 -
My wife and I both have advanced degrees...we're both absolutely going to be THOSE parents who know everything better than our son's teachers...
Considering my jaded view as the smart kid in the small town...I really feel for my son's teachers. Hopefully he is like me and the worst thing he ever does is do his work too well and annoy teachers because he's bored.
BTW my sister has an advanced degree for emotional and behavorial students . . . she works with inner city kids. . and teaches them. . . and shes NOT one of those parents. . . . those preconceived notions should be put behind u. . .
Ive been in the classroom while she taught and these children with behavioral problems would BEAT, literally HIT and BEAT my sister if they didnt like what she was doing. . . her AND her teaching aids had to disciplin those children to teach them right from wrong. . . so i would DEFINATELY agree that teachers can and should disciplin children.0 -
it would depend on what my child didalot of my childs friends their parents and i grew up togther so there is an understanding when they were little they could be disiplined if they were totally out of hand, alot of times they start getting to wild and out of ahnd allwe would have to say is u mess up here not only willi discipline u but theni would call your mom anf tell her why i diciplined u very rarely were they dicsiplined0
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It all depends on the discipline given and if my daughter was truely misbehaving. If she mouths off to a teacher or throws things around in school (4 years old, the school, myself and her therapist have been working with her!) I have no problems with the teachers parking her butt in the office in a time away... but if ANYONE raises a hand to my child for any reason, you better run like h*ll.0
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Good luck with that
I've had good luck with that for 12 years and counting. And never once had a problem or had to tell anyone off, nor have ever had anyone try to say/do anything. I guess my horrible children are just too sneaky to get caught huh?
When does your parenting show debut on TV...right after Dr. Oz??0 -
It's my responsibility to make sure my son behaves. If I'm not doing my job and my son is bothering someone, that person has the right to say something about it. For example, we were eating at a friend's house, and I didn't notice my son rocking the stool back and forth. The friend's husband asked my son quietly to stop, and he did. This is appopriate. It's his house, and he doesn't want the floor messed up. As long as someone is respectful of my son and not asking something unreasonable, I see no problem with it.
I agree that the parents who defend their "precious angels" from every negative word are a problem. Growing up, I knew that if I got in trouble at school, I'd get 10 times worse at home and they'd believe the teachers over me unless I had a really good case. I was a kid, and adults were to be respected. Of course, my four-year-old is ADHD and defiant, so he's a problem at daycare, but it's not for want of his parents trying to reign in his behavior. We're working together with the teachers to try to figure out what will work for him.0 -
My kid wouldn't be needing the discipline. If he did say something out of line I would have no problem with someone telling him to be nice or behave.
My friend brings her 5 year old daughter to our bowling leagues all the time and she has been seriously acting out lately. I bought her a sprite one night and she say next to me and said repeatedly, "I want food, get me food!" I told her I used all my money on her soda (her mom usually doesn't have extra for spending). Last night she asked her mom for some change for the candy machine and she gave her a few quarters. She came back and said she wanted a light-up toy from the machine in the arcade, so I gave her the 50 cents, no big deal at all. She came back with the little plastic ball and the toy was broken. She threw a fit and said she wanted another one. The rest of the my teammates told her that sometimes those cheap toys stick and are a waste and that she could still play with it even though she didn't have the lights working on it. She then drilled us about the change on our table and said repeatedly " I want a new one!". My bff doesn't tolerate kids as well and said to her, "You should be thankful that Mandy even bought you one! Complaining about a gift won't make it better!"
Needless to say, I won't be giving that girl any more money or drinks. Her mom makes her get drinks from the water fountain and I think it should stay that way!0 -
Depends on the situation. If my children are at risk of hurting themselves or another child and I am not there or I do not see it, then go for it. If on the other hand you correct my child in front of me...well expect the backfire coming. If my children are in your care and I'm not there, I expect my children to be corrected in an appropriate manner (no yelling, no spanking/hitting). And heaven forbid you tell me how I should/shouldn't raise my children. None of your damn business!0
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it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
If I see your child misbehaving without around, I am going to say something to him/her. The last thing I will be concerned about is you or your husband's potential negative reaction.0 -
it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
I understand where you are coming from, but what about teachers? They have to be able to have some control over the kids or else they won't be able to get anything done, right?
teachers controlling a classroom isn't the same as someone at the park telling my kids what to do. i'm fine with what both schools do. oldest will get detention, or sent to the office with a phone call home. youngest is in K so they do redirection and sitting out for so long at recess. i'm not a fan of public schools in the first place, so i'd have no problem pulling them out to homeschool if it went much further than that.0 -
I don't want my child to think that I will make excuses for them. I want them to face penalties for their actions. I learned very early (many parents don't ) that the kids WILL play you! They will give you every reason they shouldn't be in trouble and how it wasn't their fault or it was an accident. While you want to believe your child, and your child should trust you. I think you need to almost be an investigator or accept that at times someone else may have to help parent your child,.
I tell my kids it is their choice to behave or misbehave, but to understand they will face consequences. I even told them sometimes it may be worth the consequences, but they need to always choose carefully.
I look at the parents who always make excuses or never see that their child is capable of lying. These are the kids who get in the most trouble and will bully. The ones who make a teachers day He!!. Parents need to learn to guide their children, sometimes with help, not have kids and want to pretend their child is perfect.
I totally agree!0 -
"mama bear" I am too.I think it depends on what the child is doing. . .
for instance. . . if my parents are wathcing my daughter (shes 2) and she acts out i expect them to disciplin her as to teach her right from wrong. . .
but , if shes acting out in a store in a mall, and someone yells at her for whatever the reason. . . i WILL make the person cry. . . no body but my baby sitters, and or family can disciplin my child. . .0
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