would you discipline someone for disciplining your child?

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  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
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    Did your child do something wrong? Were you there to correct that behavior? If you weren't, and someone else was and they implemented an appropriate punishment, no. If it wasn't appropriate, then there would be hell to pay.

    People have very different definitions of "appropriate", though. I spanked my child...she's 17 now and I still WOULD spank her if she deserved it. There are people who would call CPS if they saw me spank her, then or now. Thankfully, my child listened when I spoke and I've not had to spank her or even ground/restrict her much since she was around 4.

    I'm blessed. :laugh:
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    Maybe not if it were done properly but I would correct someone for hurting my child in any way.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    I don't have any children but if I did, I would discipline someone that disciplined my children. I would also expect to be disciplined for disciplining someone for disciplining my child, and I would expect the person disciplining me for discipling the person that was disciplining my child to be disciplined.

    I totally missed this post, as I checked this thread after there was a few replies....

    THANK YOU...somebody got the point of this thread...LOL
  • fit_librarian
    fit_librarian Posts: 242 Member
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    It depends on what you mean by discipline.

    If someone if spanking my child, then yes I will "discipline" that person. But if a teacher or family member is verbally correcting my child for doing something wrong then that is ok.
  • yspen42
    yspen42 Posts: 285 Member
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    The Bible says...it takes a village to raise a child! I dont have any but if I see any kids in my neighborhood out of order I will correct them verbally but NOT put my hands on them.
    It depends on your relationship with the person that is doing the disciplining.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
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    it's NEVER cool for anyone other than me or my husband to discipline OUR children. you try that, or telling MY kid what they should or shouldn't do, i will fly off the handle and you won't be around my kids anymore.
    As a teacher I know this is the wrong attitude to have. These are the parents that usually have the kids with the worst behavior.

    No, these are the parents with precious angels who can do no wrong
    Well of course... ;)
  • jennifer_a00
    jennifer_a00 Posts: 186 Member
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    It's funny you ask that this morning. Yesterday after dinner my two year old was bouncing off the walls and my other kids were still eating before I took them outside to play. He broke something and my dad who we have been living with for the last year gave him a THIRTY minute time out for that. Keep in mind that I allow my dad to give them a time out if they are being really bad with him, because they need to learn to respect him. I try to keep the peace with my dad (we will be moving out in Oct anyway) but I felt 30 minutes was excessive. I told him "Why don't we just do 15 minutes?" and he told me NO. Alriiiiiight, Dad. I really had to bite my tongue on this one. grrrrr.
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
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    It really depends but if they where at a friends or at school I wouldn't get upset if the adult in charge told them off for being bad. They have to learn to have respect for their elders or the rules of where they are.

    Absolutely!!
  • JLand918
    JLand918 Posts: 156
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    I might be scolded for saying so but um NO and being why is I find that most kids today are not disciplined at home in any way. Maybe I am just recalling how I was raised but when I for example, busted out a window from careless horseplay where I could have avoided breaking said window, I usually got the belt a few times. Now kids seem that they can go down the street into woods and oops start a fire and they just get yelled at...
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
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    If my kids are actually doing something wrong and I am not there or do not see it, EVERY SINGLE one of you have the right to SAY SOMETHING! That is the problem, "kids these days" do what ever they want because of the parents. They have no respect for adults or authority because when they do something wrong Mommy and Daddy swoop in to solve their problems for them. They teach kids their kids that other adults can't do anything about their behavoir. "Don't discipline MY child" is not something you will hear me say. I would make my kid own up to his/her behavoir and take responsibility rather than going after the other adult for "disciplining" my kids
    Here, it is simple.... kids that make bad choice should be called on it. I, as a parent, can't be everywhere all the time. My kids are going to make bad choices, as expected, and I would hope an adult would say something to them.
  • taylor5877
    taylor5877 Posts: 1,792 Member
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    My wife and I both have advanced degrees...we're both absolutely going to be THOSE parents who know everything better than our son's teachers...

    Considering my jaded view as the smart kid in the small town...I really feel for my son's teachers. Hopefully he is like me and the worst thing he ever does is do his work too well and annoy teachers because he's bored.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
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    I don't have any kids of my own yet but I'm often presented with the dilemma of whether or not to discipline my 3 nephews (6, 4 and 2) when their parents (my sister-in-law and her husband) are completely ignoring their bad behavior. These boys are good overall but easily get out of control when no one pipes up so I've gone from saying nothing and griping about their bad behavior later to my husband to saying something when I'm the only adult around paying attention and feeling better about my contributions to their development. As a part of their extended family I feel comfortable doing this but if it were friends or strangers I would hold my tongue or bring it up to the parents for them to dish out the discipline.
  • Erin1712
    Erin1712 Posts: 21 Member
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    I have to agree a bit with everyone. If I am there and know what they are doing then there is no need for anyone to say anything and the only way anyone should say anything is if they are putting themselves in danger. Same goes I will not say anything to other kids as long as there is no chance if getting hurt AND the parents are not there to supervise. If the parents are there then thats there problem. I did once yell at a little boy (1.5 years old) to get down as he was going to fall over a rail and down a hill and his mother was there but her back was turned and if I had waited he could have been seriously hurt. I did approach her after and apoligize. I know I would have been mildly upset if someone had yelled to my son to get down however I didnt want him to be hurt and she said it was fine. I also would not be upset if someone had done the same for one of my boys. I have 3 so I may have my back turned to one of them at the park at any point.

    However yelling at my kid for bullying another child. That is a different story. I would prefer you come talk to me but I may just tear into him just as much if not more than you so he may just get it twice.

    I did have a father in law who would tell my kids to not play with that toy at the table ect and just be a pain in the *kitten* and I told my husband if he didnt set his dad straight I would snap next time he said something. He now says nothing!
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
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    THIS totally 100%.


    I don't want my child to think that I will make excuses for them. I want them to face penalties for their actions. I learned very early (many parents don't ) that the kids WILL play you! They will give you every reason they shouldn't be in trouble and how it wasn't their fault or it was an accident. While you want to believe your child, and your child should trust you. I think you need to almost be an investigator or accept that at times someone else may have to help parent your child,.

    I tell my kids it is their choice to behave or misbehave, but to understand they will face consequences. I even told them sometimes it may be worth the consequences, but they need to always choose carefully.

    I look at the parents who always make excuses or never see that their child is capable of lying. These are the kids who get in the most trouble and will bully. The ones who make a teachers day He!!. Parents need to learn to guide their children, sometimes with help, not have kids and want to pretend their child is perfect.
  • laprovocateur
    laprovocateur Posts: 128 Member
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    fvck yes. and i don't even like children. but if i had one, and someone else dared to touch it, i would go batsh!t crazy.

    by the same token, if my child was acting like a brainless heathen, then i wouldn't consider a "timeout" inappropriate, or something of that nature. but lay a hand on my baby and i will tie you in knots, cover you in barbecue sauce, and feed you to voracious wolves.
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
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    Physical discipline is not allowed. As far as verbal, it totally depends on who does it and what my daughter did.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    It is totally dependant on the situation.
    If my 11 year old Son is acting like an idiot in class and the teacher diciplines him, then I have no problems with that whatsoever.
    If my same Son is playing outside on a Saturday afternoon and someone diciplines him for being too loud, well, NOW we have a problem.

    Yup - ^^^This.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    If my kid is doing something that needs to be addressed and I'm not around to address it, then by all means, please discipline my child. I mean, teachers are going to have to discipline the kids when they're in school, and if my kids are at a friend's house without me I certainly wouldn't expect the parents to let my kids run amok. When another adult is in a position of authority, they are the "boss" for that period of time. I have no problem disciplining children in my care either. But by "discipline," I mean verbal correction and/or a time out or something of that nature, not spanking. I would not allow someone to care for my children again if they used physical discipline.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    Depends, if my child is behaving in a way that is:

    1) harmful to himself or someone else
    2) breaking established rules of where ever he is

    and I don't see it then I'd be grateful for someone to step in; provided they did it in a proper non-abusive way. Otherwise, butt the hell out!

    OR if I have left my child in your care, then I obviously trust you enough to discipline as necessary.
  • sheila569
    sheila569 Posts: 269 Member
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    If my kids are actually doing something wrong and I am not there or do not see it, EVERY SINGLE one of you have the right to SAY SOMETHING! That is the problem, "kids these days" do what ever they want because of the parents. They have no respect for adults or authority because when they do something wrong Mommy and Daddy swoop in to solve their problems for them. They teach kids their kids that other adults can't do anything about their behavoir. "Don't discipline MY child" is not something you will hear me say. I would make my kid own up to his/her behavoir and take responsibility rather than going after the other adult for "disciplining" my kids
    Here, it is simple.... kids that make bad choice should be called on it. I, as a parent, can't be everywhere all the time. My kids are going to make bad choices, as expected, and I would hope an adult would say something to them.

    You are my new BFF!

    I have a 14 year old daughter. She's a great kid most the of the time - but at 14 she's far from perfect. I tell any teacher to put her in her place when she acts up.... and if that doesn't solve it call me right away and I'll come to the school to take care of it immediately. That goes for any adult in her presence as well. I'm not saying knock her upside the head, but put her in her place... and then she'll get a double dose from me when she gets home just like my mother did.

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