Confessions

wade78

I can eat a whole loaf of bread

I've ordered a Large Domino's Pizza with garlic bread and ice cream..............and I ate it all

I used to eat three Krispy Creme Doughnots in one sitting

I confess driving around at 1am in the morning, looking for an open store so I could buy some more junk food

I confess I am scared I will go back to my old ways

I confess that if I hadnt found MFP, I would be even bigger

nevertoolate2

Guess we all have to say something in this thread, but... how exactly is that helping to our cause?
Not being sarcastic, just curious.

Does it matter?

Each person gets their own thing out of reading and/or contributing. You cannot codify emotions.

joselo2

When we would go out to eat, I would order the biggest meal on the menu.

Oh wow, me too. When I was about 16, for all I was lighter than I am now, I think that was my peak of disordered eating-not somuch in the amount i ate (though it was loads) but in the distress i experienced around eating. I used to be obsessed with getting the MOST food, regardless of type. Eating 9out was very unpleasant because I'd get so into trying to find out what was the most food i could have, without my family preventing me, and I'd feel angry, distressed and upset if it came and it was too small and other people looked like they hadmore! I am so glad I am over that.Even though I still struggle massively with overeating, I think I am over the part of my life where I experienced massive distress around food choices.

wade78

Greggs has a lot to answer for in the UK.

Amen

beautifulbeast11

I used to make my mom buy my 8 year old sister a 20 piece nugget and would eat them all, plus mine, leaving my sister with only the fries... and not all the fries because I ate some.

TheFitHooker

Guess we all have to say something in this thread, but... how exactly is that helping to our cause?
Not being sarcastic, just curious.

When you confess things like this, it opens your eyes when you re-read it to how things either use to be for you or how they are for you, sometimes that is when changes really happen. You know when you actually can admit to having a problem. Kinda like AA meetings, and rehab. They sit around and discuss their addictions to help them over come them.

The difference with food, drugs and alcohol is we need food to survive so you can't give it up, drugs and alcohol we do not need. To over come a food addiction is in my opinion a very hard one to over come and grasp. Like I said we all need food to survive.

Another confession from me: When there are sweets in the house this is something I battle with still, and I'm allowing myself to go over in my calories, I'll plan for 1 and try talking myself into having the entire thing like say there is a bag of candy (chocolate is and always has been my weakness) if I let myself have 1, it's usually a struggle to not eat the whole bag. I will go as far as telling myself "If you eat it all now, tomorrow it's gone and you can just start a new day." that's not right at all. Most days I can over come that and walk away, but not every day.

Juliejustsaying

I'm so ashamed of how much I weigh that I still haven't told anyone. Not a soul.

I'm so terrified of failing that sOmetimes I know im not eating enough by I justify it to myself by it being better than eating tO much and I know I have plenty if far stores to sustain me

That was me a year ago...Im only 5'1" and I had gotten up to the same weight I was at when I was 9 months pregnant. I was so embarrassed that I could weight that much. But I can say one thing, it made me really, really determined and I'm 3lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, and wear two size smaller pants than I ever have. You can do it.

Confessions: I used to make two boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese for my kids...they would eat about 1/4 of it and I'd eat the rest. I'm pretty sure I could have eaten all of it myself. TWO FREAKING BOXES! still love Mac & Cheese...haven't had it is in forever though, and I think I'll probably keep it that way.

orangesmartie

I will go as far as telling myself "If you eat it all now, tomorrow it's gone and you can just start a new day." that's not right at all. Most days I can over come that and walk away, but not every day.

I do this. I buy a 4 pack of yogurts or whatever, with the intention os spacing them out, a treat every day. But if i'm on a munch i'll eat them all in one go and tell myself well then at least there'll be none left for me to eat, so a clean slate tomorrow. I just stopped buying stuff now.

SherryR1971

I'm so ashamed of how much I weigh that I still haven't told anyone. Not a soul.

I'm so terrified of failing that sOmetimes I know im not eating enough by I justify it to myself by it being better than eating tO much and I know I have plenty if far stores to sustain me

I accidentally posted mine on facebook...needless to say I have now changed my mfp settings to NOT automatically sync to facebook and twitter!!!!!

PapaDunx

1 x 72oz steak!! (in under an hour, to win a bet)

bodsmack7958

I used to eat dinner at my girlfriends house(now wife) with her family. Full course meal. Get home to my parents house and then eat what my family had for dinner. Two full meals. Did this also with my best friend's house as a kid too. Needless to say. I've always had a weight problem haha. Working on it tho.

Highest wieght-315 pounds
Lowest weight-195 pounds
Current weight- 235 pounds
These weights are all since I graduated high school....

TheFitHooker

I confess I am scared I will go back to my old ways

I think this is one we can all relate to. I'm terrified of going back to my old self. I was having a day not to long ago where I had a panic attack thinking about going back to old self, I was trying to find some comfort on this. I was having a day of sabotaging myself, so I starting questioning why I was doing this, but I'm also scared of maintaining and I think that is where self sabotaging comes in for me. I'm 14lbs shy from my goal weight. I was talking to a group of people and a few of them told me that the fear I have will keep me from going back to myself. That fear is normal and healthy. I'm so terrified of going back to my old self that I have nightmares where I wake up grabbing my chin, because I had a dream that my double/triple chin was back.

nikkiharbor1

I used to make a vat of chili and eat the entire thing in a day with bags of shredded cheese and sour cream on top.
Drink a 12 pack of pepsi in a day.
Drink an entire bottle of tequila for dinner.
Eat a block of cheddar cheese with a box of triscuits.

I used to eat so much that I would try to hide the evidence from my husband...wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. Don't ever want to go back there!

emsicle_o

I've eaten a whole medium pizza before.
I try not to order pizza anymore.

Also, when it comes to ordering Chinese food, I know that what I ordered is really meant to serve more than one person, but I would still eat it all.
So now I just try not to order out. Period.

Me too! I tried to force myself to eat a whole large once but just regretted it after as I couldn't stand, sit or lay down without feeling like my stomach was filled with cement!

And I have no control over Chinese food! 6 mini spring rolls, as many noodles as i can fit on the plate, plus a few mouthfulls whilst i'm dishing up, and whatever main i chose. and then there's going back to the kitchen for seconds!

And I hate to say it but I got fed up from work and for a few weeks was drinking enough to make me dizzy almost every single night of the week

:blushing:

lynheff

My guilty pleasure was much more subtle. I was a constant snacker. No huge quantities---at one sitting that is. Just a bag of cookies here and a bag of chips there that just managed to somehow disappear. I could fool myself with the I-will-just-eat-one-lie. And then that moment when the hand would go back for just one more and the bag would be EMPTY. It was always a surprise ( I have amazing powers of self-deception!) Now I eat by the clock. Some people find that weird but it keeps me from grazing all day long. At least there are whole hours when I am not eating. sigh

RachArmstrong

To be honest I'm finding this thread a HUGE help.

I think admitting these things "out loud" is good for drawing a line under them and saying "never again"

deanna_bond

I could eat a whole box of mac and cheese.....I dont even eat it anymore.
I could eat a small pIZZA......now only 2 pieces.
MOUNTAIN DEW SHOULD BE BANNNED........I am currently trying to deafeat it with water downing 4 cups when I wake up is helping a lot.

When I get REALLY UPSET i WOULD Get a pack of cigarette and a mountian dew. ......
Found out I am a fast food junkie but not anymore
Emotional eater and conveince eater
I LOVE CHEESE....Still trying to slow that down lol
I am currently replacing anger, depression, and mountain dew triggers with fast HARD excerise and going to the gym RIGHT after work. Seems to good a lot of good

deanna_bond

To be honest I'm finding this thread a HUGE help.

I think admitting these things "out loud" is good for drawing a line under them and saying "never again"

AMEN WELL SAID

lynheff

Hooray for never going back!

mercymarque

i commend you for writing this... This probably will help someone else. You have to start loving yourself and feeling better about urself. You made a big step starting on MFP. You going to the gym and trying to change ur eating habits. Remember to log everything, even if your having a bad day. This way you can make sense of what triggers your eating patterns. What foods help u and what doesn't work. Rest and water is very key in weight loss so make sure you get plenty of that. A lot of the "experts" are saying you have to work out an hour to maintain the weight you currently have. So anything over an hour should be a loss. Good luck and can't wait to see who I'm talking to.

WannaBSkinnyBride

I've hidden evidence of food that I've eaten from my fiancé. And the thing is he wouldn't even care. Twice I've gone to Arby's and put the arby's bag/trash in the back of my closet so he wouldn't see it in the trash and then I'd throw it away in the apartment dumpster after he left for work. The worst part is...part of the reason I did that is so that if he came home and wanted to go out for some food I wouldn't seem like such a piggy for wanting to because he wouldn't know I already ate something not too long ago.

I used to stuff myself until I felt sick and physically hurt because of how full I packed my stomach. I could feel the food sitting in my esophagus waiting to go down. I'd wait 30 minutes or an hour for the pain to go away and I'd eat a little until I got to that point again. I honestly don't know why I did this. I've stopped obviously.

I've tried to make myself throw up after eating a couple of times and know that I would have fallen into full fledged bulemia if I would have been successful. Luckily for me, even after spending 20 minutes with my finger down my throat I can't make myself vomit. (I don't try anymore)

And you, MFP peeps, are the first to know any of those things. While I don't do the above things anymore - but the Arby's was probably about 6 weeks ago at it's most recent - it feels good to sort of unload it a bit with people who understand.

Good thread

Rosebudevol

I also love the feeling of being completely stuffed, as opposed to just sated.

I struggle with this. I can no longer be hungry, but I still feel the need to eat cause I am not stuffed!

cgarand

I found great comfort in food, I felt happy with my hand in a bag of crisps as long as I had a bar of chocolate lined up for afters. Nothing unusual about getting through a family bag of crisps and 4 chocolate bars in an evening. I lost lots of weight when my Dad died very suddenly (dropped to the ground when out walking my dog away on holiday with the rest of the family) but I comfort ate my way to fatter than I was before! Only two weeks into my new eating plan, my skin is clear of blemishes (thank-you water!!) and I've lost 5 pounds. Here's hoping I never have to turn to food for comfort again.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. There are no words, but I'm glad he was on holiday with the people he loves. *hugs*

IslandDreamer64

I can eat a pound of cheese and at least half a box of crackers without much effort. Cheese is my crack. Those are two items that have been banned from my house because I just can not eat a normal portion. I also did a lot of sneak eating, or eating in private, then eating a normal meal after I'd already eaten enough for 2 people. I'm a work in progress for sure!

DaraEden

sometimes if I binge, I buy stuff in several different shops so the cashiers won't judge me! as if being judged by a cashier is worse than eating a large chocolate bar and enough bags of crisps and full-sugar fizzy drinks to feed a family for a day

Haha this is so my thing!!

vlsalvaggio

Im an emotional eater to begin with (im trying really hard to break it but everyday is a struggle), but when i used to go to sonic i ordered a double cheeseburger, the foot long hotdog with chili and cheese and a popcorn chicken. and i finished every last bit too. i really try not to eat fast food anymore!

Lesa_Sass

My problem was alcohol.

I would keep a large bottle of vodka in the pantry and put more in the empty bottle on the counter so my husband would not know I drank the whole thing,

I used to hide a 12 pack of beer and refill the beer frig so he would not go to get one the next day and find it is empty because I drank it all the night before. I also used to hide my empties and take them to the recycling center across the street so he would not see all of them in our bin at home.

I used to make humming bird food and put it in the red wine bottle on the counter so he would not know I drank the whole bottle of it either. Talk about smart, try pouring a piping hot pot of fresh boiled water into a empty wine bottle at midnight, drunk off my *kitten*.Geesh, its a wonder I did not scald myself silly.

Now those are the ones that are not too embarrassing to share, I and I want to thank GOD that there was no such thing as camera phones and youtube when I was in my 20s, I know there are a few of you with me there.

spells1977

I used to binge drink and think nothing of going out on a Friday night and drinking 12 pints of lager :drinker:

Then the same night I used to leave my friends or boyfriend early giving the excuse that I was tired and went home alone and stuffed myself silly with whatever food I could get my hands on. I in particularly liked fried chicken and ordered the family bucket and sides and eat it all myself all whilst saying it didn't matter - it was because I was drunk and needed to sober up etc or I convinced myself it didn't matter when drunk - if that makes sense!!

Looking back I was definately a binge eater and drinker and also a secret eater. Hiding food from others was then easier to hide it from myself and pretend it wasn't happening.

jwcomputergirl

Girl Scout Cookies! 1 sleeve of cookies = 1 serving - right?

Rockmyskinnyjeans

For many years, I was strict with what I ate, but then I just didn't care. I couldn't eat a lot at a time, but I'd order high calorie junk and I would spread it out over the whole day. I did a calculation once, just messing around a couple months after I joined MFP. I was consuming 2000-3000 calories a day of pure crap. Carbs and fats like you wouldn't believe! On my last GRI trip for Real Estate before I had started trying to lose weight, I was consuming 2-3 sugary, but nonfat Frappuccinos a day. I would eat the Jack Daniels Ribs and Chicken from TGI Fridays and all the fries. There was usually always a stop involved at Jersey Mike's for a Meatball Sub, as well. And a guaranteed stop for a GIgi's Cupcake before I went home. Almost every single day at my office, my husband was bringing me fast food for lunch. Arby's, Whataburger, Fat Daddy's (to die for Onion Rings!)... It was a horrible cycle.

I still have some anxiety over restaurants to this day, after now dropping 53 lbs (I dropped 11 before MFP). I have probably memorized the calories of the dishes of most major restaurants. I am slowly learning to let go of that anxiety as I realize this is a total lifestyle change and I am not going to gain everything back because I went to one nice meal with my husband. If I did it every single day, that would be different...

I still have some fears of gaining it back. Essentially, I'm in maintenance now, but I wouldn't mind losing another 3-5 lbs. I am happy at this size. I don't want to lose that again. I am smaller built now than I was 2 years ago when I started gaining all the weight back because now I exercise frequently. I want to stay this way. I've come to depend on the support of this site. I don't think I do it alone. Thanks for the vent/confessional! I feel like the biggest glutton ever, but I know I've come a long ways and can still have the things I love, but in healthier versions now.