Please don't be offended...
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I can give you some thoguhts about how i became obese (270+lbs at my heaviest)
1) As a child, i never had the opputunity to eat healthy, I was alone most of the time as my mother was a workaholic/alchohlic and only ever had easy to make unhealthy fast food style dinners, microwavables and basically nutritionless trash
2) I never really had any friends in my formulative years, so all the day to day social activities i would have been doing as a youngun to burn the calories just never happened, so the weight slowly crawled up without me paying much attention
3)I don't /look/ big. This is probably my main cause. In my profile picture i weigh nearly 280 pounds, yet just looking at me it was hard to tell, i guess i always expected people of my weight to have big faces, massive arms, chubby hands, you know? I always tell people how much i weigh and they never, ever beleve me until i show them my tum
4) I just didn't care, depression and being lonely just made me not give a *kitten* about my appearance, once i knew i was clinically overweight i made no effort to curb it because i just didn't have the motivation (still struggle with that) and with no relationship prospects (Or friendships for that matter) on the horizon, it was hard to feel the need to shape up (Most people i know get fit for the chance of scoring with chicks, shallow i know but its a big motivator) if that makes sense xD
5) Addiction to crappy foods, aversion to healthy food. Something i still suffer with. I HATE vegetables with a passion, and most healthy foods taste like pure scum to me. I'm just so used to salty greasy sugary food that nothing else feels right to me
6) It absolutely kills me to excersise, even slow jogging does my legs in almost immediately, being sufficiently active at a level enough to make an impact can put me out all day xD
As a side note 7) Probably should mention that social anxiety tends to have me staying inside alot, that probably contributed alot
well thats some of my reasons, most of it probably sounds like rambling since i do that alot.0 -
that's more of a psychology and sociology question. probably for a host of reasons, but question why / how people become so addicted to gambling that they lose all their money, or addicted to meth, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. people tend to do that. it happens.
I completely agree with this statement. I believe that addiction is addiction. The item that a person is addicted to can simply vary. The real difference that I have found through yo-yo ing up and down for so many years is that you can totally eliminate drugs, alcohol, gambling etc from your lifestyle. It is impossible to eliminate food. Therefore accepting that its is a problem (food and the manner in which it is consumed) is only the first step. If ever you want to know how to eat right, ask an overweight person. We know. Applying it and sticking to it and incorporating activity to increase metabolism is the hard part. That is why things like MFP and Weight Watchers are so much more successful in helping people with this struggle than those that incorporate only one part of the puzzle. Nutrition, Support, and Exercise, oh and more support are the keys to being successful long term I believe. No one "Lets" themselves gain weight to the point of obesity or morbid obesity. Its a choice, even if its a bad choice. Changing our choices to empower our Will is the greatest challenge faced. Beating addiction is a lifelong challenge. I choose to fight!0 -
If you go by the "overeating" and "calories in calories out" idea, then for you to gain 140 lbs over 11 years only meant eating an extra 120 calories a day over what you're burning. That would be, just eating an apple every single day. So we can say overeating makes us gain weight, but does it really?0
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It was easy. I told the whole world, normal life, and productivity to go to hell, but leave me some snacks on its way out the door.
It can all still go to hell, I just stopped eating the snacks.0 -
"Not caring about how I looked. You gain slowly, 10-15 lbs per year. Over the span of years of overeating, you look up and you've gained a lot of weight. I gained 140 lbs over a 11 year span."
This was more or less it for me, too. I have never been thin, but was fairly fit for my height when younger. When I married, 16 years ago, I was 5'10 and weighed 170ish. Over the next decade, I put on 100 lbs. I started working a sedentary (8+ hours at a desk) full time job and didn't make time for exercise. I am an avid cook, so I would cook big meals and not even consider portion control (I would make a 9x12 casserole--enough to feed a family of 8!--and we would polish it off it two meals!). My hubs loves sweets so we started eating big bowls of ice cream and cookies and other desserts each night before bed.
I, too, gained slowly....2-3 pounds a month adds up to 20 pounds a year, then 100 in 4-5 years. Because it goes on slow, you don't "notice" and, while you know you are having to buy another bigger size of pants, you stop caring. You're tired. You're older. You're married. You make excuses. Like another poster, my height also allowed me to gain weight and "carry it well' so I didn't look as heavy as I was. At least that's what I told myself.
I also know I emotionally eat. When I am depressed or tired, my body craves "comfort foods"--meat and potatoes and biscuits covered in mounds of gravy, warm and gooey desserts, etc. I also mindlessly snack out of boredom. I now try to keep limited snacks in the house and make those healthy. I have to ask myself sometimes if I am really hungry or just letting my mind rule my stomach.
My wake-up call was a bad physical. High blood pressure, high blood sugar. I didn't want to become a 40-something on five different meds controlling things that should/could be controlled with proper fitness. But, honestly, living a healthy lifestyle is not easy, for many reasons, and I can understand how so many people just "settle" with being heavy because I did it for years.0 -
For me personally, I used food as a coping mechanism the way others use drugs or alcohol. So although it wasn't a conscious thought, I chose food addiction over drug or alcohol addiction as a means of dealing with depression. As a child I was taught often about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but there was really very little regarding the dangers of overeating. The extent of their education of nutrition was teaching us the 4 food groups.
In my opinion, food addiction is so much more difficult to deal with than the others. Please do not think that I am saying dealing with alcohol or drug addiction is easy. They do not take alcoholics and say "please just drink a little bit 3 to 4 times a day", they say to avoid it altogether. That is impossible option when dealing with food addiction. Of course, a person can identify and avoid foods they are especially prone to overeat, but that does not address the overall problem. Overcoming food addiction can be done, but it is a process of redefining ones relationship with food.0 -
It was easy. I told the world to go to hell, but leave me some snacks on its way out the door.
Now I still tell the world go to hell, I just stopped eating the snacks.
I. Love. You.0 -
.0
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If you go by the "overeating" and "calories in calories out" idea, then for you to gain 140 lbs over 11 years only meant eating an extra 120 calories a day over what you're burning. That would be, just eating an apple every single day. So we can say overeating makes us gain weight, but does it really?This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:
How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.
Thank you
-Nicole
Not caring about how I looked. You gain slowly, 10-15 lbs per year. Over the span of years of overeating, you look up and you've gained a lot of weight. I gained 140 lbs over a 11 year span.0 -
It was easy. I told the world to go to hell, but leave me some snacks on its way out the door.
Now I still tell the world go to hell, I just stopped eating the snacks.
I. Love. You.
You.Beat.My.Edit.
But thanks anyway. :laugh:0 -
that's more of a psychology and sociology question. probably for a host of reasons, but question why / how people become so addicted to gambling that they lose all their money, or addicted to meth, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. people tend to do that. it happens.
Exactly this.0 -
I also think that the diet industry is to blame in some part.
Hod many think that to lose weight you have all those rules? People starve, quit and feel defeated. They then think they they can't lose the weight.....it is not the whole story, but a little piece to add to the puzzle of obesity0 -
It was easy. I told the world to go to hell, but leave me some snacks on its way out the door.
Now I still tell the world go to hell, I just stopped eating the snacks.
I. Love. You.
You.Beat.My.Edit.
But thanks anyway. :laugh:
ERMAHGERD! That's funny! But I completely echo your sentiments. Now its the world AND food can GTFO. LOL
You're awesome 0 -
perfect0
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For me, there are two reasons. I got too comfortable in my life. I married a wonderful man who didn't care how much I weighed. So I got comfortable and didn't worry about what I ate or what I looked like. I didn't have to impress anyone except my husband and he loved me for who I was and not what I weighed. I just loved food so I ate it, and a lot of it. The second reason which I think could have prevented me from being obese all of my life is that I just wasn't educated on calories and macros. I had no idea before I joined MFP exactly how many calories I should be eating every day. I also had no idea how many calories the foods I was eating had in them. I just knew they tasted good so I ate them. Educating people is the key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I wish I would have been taught at a young age about nutrition. I had health class in school but they covered the bare minimum.0
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For me, food was always something "bad" in my house. Ever since I was young, my mom was hiding food from me and telling me I couldn't have certain things because she didn't want me to get fat. I was NOT overweight until the end of high school.
It's very hard for me to control eating "bad" foods now, because I felt deprived of them when I was younger. I hide food from my husband, even though he literally couldn't care less. I sometimes binge eat because of those feelings. I don't like people watching me eat, because I think they are judging me.
It's definitely phycological for me, and I know it is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I never wanted to "let myself go," in fact, I have a very very low self esteem, and don't like going to see my mother because of her comments and the way she looks at me. I know now that even if I am super skinny, it will never be good enough. I love her dearly, it's just something I must deal with.0 -
If you go by the "overeating" and "calories in calories out" idea, then for you to gain 140 lbs over 11 years only meant eating an extra 120 calories a day over what you're burning. That would be, just eating an apple every single day. So we can say overeating makes us gain weight, but does it really?
I'd say yes. While it matters to how our body functions internally where the calories come from, from a weight perspective I don't think the body cares where the calories come from. If you eat more than you burn, then the body stores what's left. If you burn more than you eat, then your body taps into its reserves.0 -
It was easy. I told the world to go to hell, but leave me some snacks on its way out the door.
Now I still tell the world go to hell, I just stopped eating the snacks.
I. Love. You.
You.Beat.My.Edit.
But thanks anyway. :laugh:
ERMAHGERD! That's funny! But I completely echo your sentiments. Now its the world AND food can GTFO. LOL You're awesome
Awesome, but unemployed, unemployable, and not sure exactly how to go about taking up a life of crime.
I think physical fitness should be involved somewhere, however. I have vague memories of a movie involving some thieving chick in a catsuit to go by.0 -
For me, it was a decrease in activity level, then finally getting to a point that I just didn't care anymore about how I looked, because I was in such a depression I just gave up0
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I was not educated with what foods to eat and what not to eat. Even the education I received in health class has turned out to be inaccurate (food pyramid). The government is not going to tell us to lower our wheat intake and not have 6-11 servings when world trade in wheat is greater than all other crops combined. Also, we always had junk food in our household so I thought that was what I was suppose to eat. I have been overweight my entire life. I look back at pictures of me when I was younger and I was fat. Now that I have done research I am able to see what absolute junk the food industry is feeding us. I am considered obese right now and I am on my way to changing that.0
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I was always heavy as a kid and over the years I put on more and more weight until as an adult, i topped out at over 400 pounds. I couldn't understand my addiction to food nor could my friends and family. For the most part I was a 'closet eater' but non-the-less, an eater.
My parents will tell you that I started gaining weight around 7 years of age and it became more and more of problem as time went on. Even as a young adult, but they, nor I could not tell you why this addiction to food was plaguing me.
Long story short (and it is a long story), in my 'later adult years' I met and married a wonderful man (something I never thought possible) and was happy, or at least I thought I was.
Shortly after marrying, issues started to arise regarding intimacy and i turned once again to old patterns and began using food as my 'drug of choice' and the weight began to increase yet again.
After many, many years of repressed memories, it came to my horror, that I was an adult who was suddenly faced with childhood sexual abuse issues.....go figure, I get married, sex factors in and BAM....it snowballed me.
I agree with the person above who said that there are many psychological factors that cause such issues as obesity and morbid obesity. For a short period of time before I married, I had actually lost a considerable amount of weigh. but the truth is, the memories of childhood were so deeply buried within that any weight loss or maintained weight loss was only TEMPORARY because when all this happened and I began the journey of intimacy, the flood gates were open and food once again entered my world and I gained back every pound I had ever lost and more.
Some people in my situation turn to drugs, alcohol, cutting or promiscuity. I just happened to use food as my drug of choice.
I am not offended at all by your question and hope that by myself and others posting their experience or thoughts and feelings help you with a little more understanding.
My best to you.0 -
I've put on (what I consider) a lot of weight twice in my life. I have never weighed 200, 300 or 400 pounds. The first time I lost 40 pounds, this time I've taken off 20.
I think it's not the amount of weight--it's how it happens. When I weighed a couple pounds shy of 200, it was because I was absolutely miserable. I was dating someone that had no faith in me and didn't offer support--in fact, when I tried losing weight, he would purposely sabotage me by cooking foods he knew I shouldn't eat. He figured if I was fat, I wouldn't leave him. His mantra was "YOU CAN'T." You can't...lose weight. You can't...get back into shape. You can't...buy a house. You can't...finish your thesis project. I found the one thing I could do was LEAVE his *kitten*. I then looked in the mirror and discovered I could show home movies on my butt.
I started working out. I started watching what I ate. I started hanging out with the right people that loved me, supported me, and knew that I could do anything I put my mind to doing.
Weight creeps up on you when you quit caring how you look and you're smothered with negative messages.0 -
For me personally, I used food as a coping mechanism the way others use drugs or alcohol. So although it wasn't a conscious thought, I chose food addiction over drug or alcohol addiction as a means of dealing with depression. As a child I was taught often about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but there was really very little regarding the dangers of overeating. The extent of their education of nutrition was teaching us the 4 food groups.
In my opinion, food addiction is so much more difficult to deal with than the others. Please do not think that I am saying dealing with alcohol or drug addiction is easy. They do not take alcoholics and say "please just drink a little bit 3 to 4 times a day", they say to avoid it altogether. That is impossible option when dealing with food addiction. Of course, a person can identify and avoid foods they are especially prone to overeat, but that does not address the overall problem. Overcoming food addiction can be done, but it is a process of redefining ones relationship with food.
This reply was extremely thoughtful and really resonated with me. Thank you for posting. "Redefining ones relationship with food" ....that is exactly what I feel like I have been doing. For me, it's the difference between "eating to live" and "living to eat."0 -
Never been obese but I have a few thoughts/opinions about why many people may let themselves get that way, some being why I let myself get (albeit not much) out of shape.
1) Habit. I think this may be quite a bit one, you get used to eating more / exercising less and every day it gets harder and harder to change those habits. I have several bad ones, not related to fitness or health and they've been lifetime habits and the hardest thing ever is changing them.
2) Depression / Comfort Eating. Pretty self explanatory.
3) Lack of confidence. If you don't like the way you look, and think you'll never be attractive or healthy, what would motivate you to change?
4) Lack of support. Kind of ties in with habit, but if you have a family living a certain lifestyle and who are unwilling to help or support you, I can imagine that that is very tough.
5) Medical issues. Not always directly related to weight gain, but ones that may hinder other factors such as exercising and dietary restrictions.
6) Time. Not everyone gains weight quickly, sometimes it creeps on slowly over a number of years and you just don't notice it as much, until one day it hits you.
7) ETA: Lack of info / education. Some people genuinely don't know how to cook healthy, nutritious meals for themselves (ties in with family aspects)0 -
The second reason which I think could have prevented me from being obese all of my life is that I just wasn't educated on calories and macros. I had no idea before I joined MFP exactly how many calories I should be eating every day. I also had no idea how many calories the foods I was eating had in them. I just knew they tasted good so I ate them. Educating people is the key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I wish I would have been taught at a young age about nutrition. I had health class in school but they covered the bare minimum.
This is a big part of it! Education! I work with some very incredibly low income people who honestly think feeding their children McDonald's happy meals is healthy because it is "chicken" and apples. They just don't have any experience what so ever with calories or nutrition. It is also way easier for them to grab a $1.99 happy meal after working long hours than it is to plan a meal, go to the grocery store, cook the meal, argue with the children to eat it, and then clean it up. Lots of the moms are single with 3 or more children and 2 or more jobs. They are tired and struggling to get by! Now I am off topic, but in the little nook of the world where I work, income level and education are the problem and it is one generation passing on these habits to the next. The children are over weight before they can even speak in full sentences. It just breaks my heart.0 -
For me, there are two reasons. I got too comfortable in my life. I married a wonderful man who didn't care how much I weighed. So I got comfortable and didn't worry about what I ate or what I looked like. I didn't have to impress anyone except my husband and he loved me for who I was and not what I weighed. I just loved food so I ate it, and a lot of it. The second reason which I think could have prevented me from being obese all of my life is that I just wasn't educated on calories and macros. I had no idea before I joined MFP exactly how many calories I should be eating every day. I also had no idea how many calories the foods I was eating had in them. I just knew they tasted good so I ate them. Educating people is the key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I wish I would have been taught at a young age about nutrition. I had health class in school but they covered the bare minimum.
This too. I have a great relationship with my husband, and a greater love affair with food.0 -
Honest answers? I battle finding that honest answer myself. After years of therapy I know the answer but admitting it reopens the wounds and makes me feel like a victim all over again. But part of my healthy lifestyle journey includes mental health so I am confronting that demon this time and will no longer look at myself as a victim but a survivor.
What happened to me at a young age has affected me in so many ways. I don't want to share my story but my weight crept on because of both physical injuries and emotional injuries. I'm finally at the point in my life where it is more important to confront my demons and deal with the aftermath of my life, then to hide behind my layers of fat and hating myself for not taking action sooner.0 -
First of all, everyone is different. We do not all fit into one category. Genetics can, and do, for some people play a roll.
For me, I love food, and I love to cook. I over ate for most of my life, underexercised, and hence the extra pounds and obesity. Simple, but the motivating factors can be complex. I found comfort in food and eating, and I still do. I am in my infancy of healthy eating ( only a little over 6 months), but I definately am learning.
It is individual. There is too much trying to put people into categories for what ever reason, when there are many reasons usually, not just one thing. Why did I turn to food instead of drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or whatever else? Who really knows?
I feel that the food industry is partially to blame as well, for the epidemic proportions of obesity in this country. All the sugar, sodium, preservatives, chemicals, and who knows what added to processed foods is not good. Growth hormones fed to our beef, pork and poultry. It all contributes.
Education is the key to so many of life's issues. We need to teach ourselves, and our families to maintain healthy life styles. If there were an easy answer, perhaps there wouldn't be an issue. JMHO0 -
I've sometimes wondered the same thing myself. I found the novel 'She's Come Undone' by Wally Lamb gave me quite a bit of understanding as to how it could happen. And also the novel 'Lilian's Story' by Kate Grenville - which is a very different sort of perspective, as the character embraces her large size. Obviously they are novels rather than true stories, but I find it helpful to get inside the head of a fictional character and see their perspective.
Personally, I've never been clinically overweight, partly because my metabolism is very fast. Apparently people with Aspergers burn glucose a lot faster than non-autistic people. But I have other areas of my life which I find very hard to control (due to difficulties with organisation) and I know there are people who wonder how I could let my house get so messy, for instance, and how I could possibly live in such a messy house. They often assume I'm lazy, which is very far from the truth. But it's quite hard to explain to them - that it's not that I want it to be like this, but that I get overwhelmed and can't keep on top of it, because my brain focuses on one thing at a time and everything I focus on requires a lot of energy, and that I need to prioritise basic survival skills like eating and sleeping and working and keeping fit and paying bills. I know that this is specific to Aspergers and not the same as people becoming very overweight, but I use it as an analogy in my mind, because there seem to be some similarities.0 -
I'll be honest, I didn't care about my weight until recently. It didn't matter to me because my husband likes me no matter how I am (and he's a big butt guy too), and I'm Italian. My Mom and Nana used to show me pictures of my ancestors and they were all hefty, as they should have been/should be (according to my rail thin Nana).
I'm still morbidly obese and I'm working on it. I didn't care about what I was eating or how much. Now I do and my kids see it. Now they want to eat better and my burned, poor-excuse for potato chips (much better for them than those store bought ones) are their favorite snack. They even prefer my version of french fries (not fried or covered in batter, salt or sugar). And even my husband is eating more fruit.0
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