Please don't be offended...

Pinkigloopyxie

I never noticed how much bigger I was getting, or how it looked. I just avoided the scale or thought I carried it well and looked slimmer than I did. I could still run and bike and stuff. Looking back now I was really really fat, especially when I saw pics.

It was sort of a slow realization combined with the safety ajd comfort that comes from being fat that made my weight loss progress very slow. An abrupt life change saw me lose 60lbs but I haven't lost any more until now. Eventually I just wanted to wear normal sized clothes and be treated like a normal person and not grow old being fat and not be able to do the things I like anymore.

rudimae

I've been overweight since I was around 5 or 6 years old. I've never known what it's like to be thin and healthy. So fat is "normal" for me.

When I was a teenager, having an abusive father telling me, "You're fat, you're ugly, no man will ever want you" sticks in your head like crazy. Made me think if was a done deal.

Also, I had very severe psoriasis until about a year and a half ago (new medication). I was covered on 85-90% of my body. Why bother losing weight when I'd still look monstrous?

The weight also creeps up on you. I realize now that when I graduated high school, I was "only" about a size 18; maybe 20. But I saw myself as much bigger than that. I'm finally down to a size 24 (from an increasingly snug 28). But I "remember" myself being fatter, so it didn't seem like I gained more...hope that makes some sense.

Just like now, at a bit of a smaller size, I still can't see the changes in myself. Even putting two pictures side by side, me at my heaviest and 30 pounds lighter, I.can't.see.it. My husband tries to point out the changes. I see the difference on the scale and with the tape measure. But I still can't see it on my body. So when you just can't see the changes in yourself, it's hard to know that you are "letting" yourself gain weight.

Plus all the other stuff about emoitional eating and food addiction.

karenwill2

I got this way, gained 100 lbs, from an undiagnosed medical condition. Then I gained an additional 50 lbs at least due to the depression from having these issues and not knowing why I could not control myself. There was a lot of beating myself up. After finding out what it was, I dropped about 40 lbs over 6 months but then started school, life..... Now I am back on track.

crazybigchick

I'll be honest, I didn't care about my weight until recently. It didn't matter to me because my husband likes me no matter how I am (and he's a big butt guy too), and I'm Italian. My Mom and Nana used to show me pictures of my ancestors and they were all hefty, as they should have been/should be (according to my rail thin Nana).
I'm still morbidly obese and I'm working on it. I didn't care about what I was eating or how much. Now I do and my kids see it. Now they want to eat better and my burned, poor-excuse for potato chips (much better for them than those store bought ones) are their favorite snack. They even prefer my version of french fries (not fried or covered in batter, salt or sugar). And even my husband is eating more fruit.

You are a fantastic role model!

KimMaplesBaker

One thing I have found in the work that I do, as well as in my own life, is that it is VERY difficult to feed a family a healthy diet. When your funding is low (example: for my family of 5 I had only $75 a week to feed everyone) you have to make a choice between "good for you" and "filling you up". Go to a food pantry and you get the same....high calorie, high carb, long shelf life food....sometimes you just have to eat what is available to survive. The thing is, nobody would look in and see that from the outside because I am a working professional. I have learned how to shop more wisely and make healthier meals for my family, but that came from time and experiment.
Another thing that caught me were medical issues. Many medications unfortunately come along with the side effect of weight gain. I have fibro and arthritis, which sometimes make meeting even the minimum ADL's nearly impossible. And I am fortunate in that I still have mobility. Again, at some point I figured out that working through the pain would eventually bring a moment of wow, I can actually do that now and not hurt and even feel better some days all around. Unfortunately, many people don't have that freedom. Many people fall victim to the pain of their ailment, to the depression that soon follows, to the total flip change their bodies have created in their lives.
At one point in my life I was a bodybuilder. I had an auto accident and broke my neck and jaw. I was unable to just about anything for a long, long time. Weight added due to inactivity. Muscle broke down. It was ridiculous.
I say all that to say that there are COUNTLESS reasons a person has weight gain, and it happens to people at every walk of life, sometimes very unexpectedly. In addition, medically speaking, the term obese and morbidly obese are ridiculous terms. If you were to meet me today you would not "see" obese, but if you read my chart you would and then your idea of me would change accordingly.
My advice (I have 24 years experience in the nursing field) is to look at each of your patients as a beautiful person with an issue that you may be able to help with. Realize that 99% of the people you will encounter have a life history that has led them to whatever point they are at today. 99% of people are insecure about how they look, even when they seem to fit society's view of perfection. Make your patient feel important just by actually speaking to and LISTENING to them.
Good luck
(PS...there are MANY other factors that applied to this journey for me, but I could literally write a book, as I am sure most of us can.)

fat2fit4good

ADDICTION! I was thin when I smoked. I stopped that and blew up. Through the years, while being fat, the only times I forgot about food I was either drinking with friends or at a casino playing blackjack or craps.... (or having sex, but I can usually squeeze that between meals LOL)

sooo, it looks like food hits the pleasure receptors in my brain pretty hard, and as long I am hitting them with SOMETHING, I am ok.

Hopefully the joy I get of completing a great MFP day will be my new drug (so far so good)

on top of that, my amazing wife always said she fell in love with me as a person and with my eyes (go figure!), and those things were always there... so heck, maybe I can blame my wife too?? ;-)

PS. you don't see any fat crackheads :-)

chunkiedunker

well i didn't read everyones responses but by now you can figure out that alot of different factors play into it. sometimes its a medical condition, sometimes its a depression issue, sometimes its how you were raised. there are a ton of reasons why someone lets them self get to my point.

Myself, i grew up in a home with two parents and two other brothers. My family wasn't dirt poor, but by no means rich. they struggled most of the time but managed to keep a roof over my head and feed me most meals a day. being a kid i was a very picky eater. (still am for the most part) my mom did the shopping and as a woman who was VERY SKINNY as a young adult, she is now over weight. lack of exercise, and lack of a good diet have played a major roll into her weight along with a few medical issues. She would buy whats cheap and what would not go bad in a week. (processed foods) we ate alot of speghetti and soups. alot of stuff cooked on the stove top in alot of grease. growing up i was always chunky, but it wasn't until i was older that i put on weight. i also never looked at nutrition labels. So until recently i didn't know what a proper serving size was. i would look at a 20 ounce bottle of sprite and say theres no way someone drinks this is 2 and a half sittings. or after my second heaping plate of speghetti covered in sprinkle cheese, i wouldn't realize i just took in my daily calories never mind the two huge greasy slices of pizza i had for lunch or the fast food i would have had for lunch.

im a guy who loves food. i love the way it tastes, i love the textures of most foods, i love the smell of foods. I would eat out alot because thats what i was use to (my mom worked at a wendy's) and it was quick and easy. For a single guy or even a couple its tough to cook for just one or two people and its much easier to stop at a fast food joint and have them do it. I TOOK THAT TO THE EXTREME as i have written in a blog about my old habits.

I would also say that when you start dating someone long term you tend to get comfy with that person. For two people who are busy and rarely see each other or are rarely home we would fall into my parents rut and buy processed foods that we could microwave and throw on a bun and eat before relaxing on the couch for the rest of the night.

People like my parents and some of my family members tell me its too expensive to eat healthy. But it doesn't have to be. there are plenty of cheap recipes and foods that you can eat. You dont have to eat salad every meal and you dont have to have fresh veggies. get the frozen steamers and make up some chicken breasts.

serving sizes are a big one for me. I know several people who when they see what a proper serving size is they say, wow how do you only eat that or i cant believe how much more i am eating then what im suppose to be eating. but society is set up in such a way to make money, not to be healthy. new york or new jersey i believe all restraunts have calorie counts next to each menu item. that way you know what you are eating as you are ordering. Thats a great thing that should be every where. Places like mcdonalds and wendys would go out of business by doing this because when people see they are about to scarf down 1000 calorie hamburger and 800 calorie fry they might think twice. why do they do it then? why does wendys offer a triple with a biggie fry and large coke? because it costs them little to make but they make alot of money off of it. and PEOPLE BUY IT.

Sometimes i would eat out of boredom, or depression. on those days that you just feel blah and you are hating yourself or down on yourself. well i would eat. never thinking about what i was putting in my mouth, just that i knew i had to kill the pain somehow and food helped.

i am starting to see a change in society and its for the better. society is starting to evolve into a healthier lifestyle i believe. i see more and more people out walking and running and eating healthier then i did in the past. maybe its just because im doing those things so i see those types of people more than the 50 car pile up at mcdonalds. who knows, but thats how i became overweight. i dont like it, i dont expect anyone else to like it. Im changing it for me and me only.

fteale

It's an interesting question and one that is very difficult to ask without offending people. It seems weight is one of those things we aren't meant to talk about.

I think there are probably as many reasons to get fat as there are fat people. Everyone's different, and everyone's life has followed a different path. I do think really severe morbid obesity is a form of self harm, though.

californiagirl2012

Here is my unprofessional personal theory speaking as someone who was obese, though not morbidly so.

I did not realize I was eating too much.

Over the years I ran and lifted weights, I practiced martial arts, ran marathons, hiked, skied, and biked. Over the decades the weight piled on. I kept on working out harder and harder thinking I would lose the weight but it kept growing. I tried various diets, lost, then gained, lost, then gained, the typical yo-yo story. At age 48 I finally reached my peak of 171 lbs. at 5’1″. I had chronic back pain, low thyroid, and adrenal fatigue. I kept working out and running one marathon after the next thinking maybe this time it will work. Nope, the weight stayed on. Everyone told me to give up; this is what happens when you get older.

Diets don't work because they are unsustainable and usually don't address the true issue which is eating too much. If you don't give yourself a break from eating your body never gets a chance to burn off excess fat. Oh and I was at my biggest weight when I was a 100% Organic Fanatic. Even 100% clean food will make you fat. Too much food is too much food.

.. to my horror my weight kept creeping up and I had to buy a bigger uniform even though I was working out as hard as ever. It didn't seem like I was eating too much. I don't pig out. I don't mindlessly eat. I don't binge. I just didn't get it. I thought something was wrong with my metabolism.

The rest of my story http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/740340-i-lost-60-lbs-at-age-51-anyone-can-any-workout

nxd10

I come from a family of people who are pretty overweight as adults but all thin as kids. We ate good food and nobody has food or body image problems. But even for us, there are different reasons.

My one sister was always stick thin all through college, when she played basketball. She gradauted from college and got a sedentary job. There was a CVS in her building that sold 1 lb bags of M and Ms for $1. She ate one a day for a year and gained 150 pounds. She has poor impulse control. 30 years later, that weight has never come off, although she also has not gained any more.

My youngest sister moved from the Northeast to Georgia and fell in love with fried food and sweet tea. We always had healthy food at home and my mom and dad rarely dieted and it was never an issue at home. So she never thought about calories. My sister started munching and, because she lived alone, eating out a lot. She gained maybe 10 pounds a year for 15 years. She lost 50 pounds in a supervised diet program last year but put it back on. She just restarted. As everyone knows, its easier to lose than to maintain. I hope she makes it. She is 15 years younger than me and outweighs me by probably 90 pounds.

My other sister was always a little heavier as a kid - although at her childhood heaviest, she was 6' and 195 pounds - just overweight, not obese. She did use eating to make her feel better in college, but went on a very strict diet at 21 and lost 60 pounds. She kept that off until her late-30's when she developed a thyroid problem and put on a lot of weight. How much? I'm not sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was 100-150 pounds so she is now 6' and 250-280.

My mom is also 6' and 250 or so. She gained a pound or two a year for 50 years. Right now she's gaining faster because my dad is having trouble keeping weight on and she tries to fatten him up and gains weight doing so.

My brother-in-law is solidly 200-300 pounds overweight. He is addicted to food. He was an alcoholic who stopped drinking. Beer put on a lot of weight. When he stopped drinking, he started eating. He can't go out to buy gas without getting a sub and a double size latte.

My brother put on a little weight but has taken up running and looks pretty good in his 40's. Every time he got a little pot belly, he exercises more and watches his eating and it goes away.

In my 40's my metabolism slowed down. In my 50's it slowed a bit more. I didn't stop eating. I gained 15 pounds. I just took it off and hope to get down to the weight I was at when I graduated from college by Christmas. This is my first attempt at weight loss.

My husband has lost 20 pounds and needs to lose 50 more - despite the fact that he is a professional tai chi instructor and works out several hours every single day. He snacks and drinks a beer every night or two. You might as well glue it to his gut. He stopped drinking beer in June (except maybe one on the weekend) and lost 20 pounds without doing anything else.

It's complicated. Gaining weight is easy.

Irish_eyes75

I think as a nurse, you can't look for answers in generalities. My reasons for "letting my self go" and the next person's reasons can and probably will be 2 different ones. Empathy - listen to your patient, and never, ever judge and you'll "get it" soon enough.

crimznrose

It's always been hard for me to lose weight and I require constant dieting and exercise to maintain a weight. That being said, I've been tested over and over again only to hear that my thyroid is low but still barely within the range of "normal". In addition to that, I have hyperinsulinemia and insulin resistance. These factors contribute to why it's so hard to lose weight.

On the other end of the spectrum, up until I really started focusing on my fitness, I ate whatever I wanted, without counting calories and exercise was not a regular curriculum in my life. I wouldn't call myself lazy, per se, but the majority of my physical work came from after my 45-hr per week desk job, when I would go home to clean the house, cook dinner, and MAYBE go for a bike ride with my kids.

For some of us, the fact of life is metabolism isn't on our side and when we're not diligent enough to monitor our nutrition and regular exercise, we let ourselves go. I live with a husband and daughter who are "metabolically gifted" and they despise the fact I buy fat-free this and whole grain that. I hear it constantly and it definitely makes it harder to keep up the motivation to eat healthy and exercise regularly when all they do is pig out and watch tv. Fortunately (and I use that term loosely) my son is like me and isn't blessed with natural thinness. So, I eat healthy and work out, I ask him to try new healthy meals I prepare and I ask him to join me on each work out. He is my motivation to lead by example and if it weren't for the want to show him how to live healthy, I don't know if I would be so driven to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

blackcoffeeandcherrypie

To be honest, I don't really see anything wrong with being fat. I know it isn't the healthiest way to be but then people do lots of things that aren't healthy like smoking, drinking or driving their cars too fast.

I personally was always fat, and spent my childhood being terrified by school nurses and community health centres who constantly put a negative message on me that basically I was a hideous, unlovable child who was going to grow up into an ugly unlovable woman if I didn't become slim like everyone else. I began to hate the medical profession and when I got to being a teenager and had boys fancy me and tell me they loved me, I realised that everything they had told me was a lie, and that I could be anything I wanted to be.

Now I want to lose weight because I enjoyed being thinner and because I feel more confident in sexy clothes. But it's not a question of letting myself get fat, I've always been fat. Frankly I'm sick of feeling ashamed about it. I refuse to visit any health or medical professionals as they will almost certainly attempt to shame me about my weight and emotionally manipulate me into doing what they think I should do. So basically my advice to you is that you don't have to understand why your patients are a bigger weight than you would choose to be, you only need to recognise that they are human beings who have the right to be whatever weight they want. If they ask you for help, then use your medical knowledge to assist them, otherwise listen to their health concerns, treat them with dignity and don't try to blame every illness they have on their size. You are not Jillian Michaels, it's not your job to get me to lose weight!

JenniBaby85

Here is the how obesity is a illness just like alcoholism! It is not a new topic at all the bible talks about it as a deadly sin, gluttony! But see our world ignores the issues of this and it has been accepted! So if you or anyone suffers from being a sinner should understand! We all have our problems see gluttony is one that is worn on the outside!

random bible item of the day
Did you know that the 7 deadly sins are not listed anywhere in the bible as such? They're not in the bible at all as we think of them. Fascinating isn't it?
/random bible item of the day. Now back to "why we're overweight".

Not those words, but they are in the book of Proverbs. "Six things the LORD hates, yes seven which are an abomination to Him" is how it starts. But that's ALL I'm saying on the topic because this is not a Biblical debate. It is a question about obesity.

HelenDootson

I am sure there is more to it than this, but for me a big part of it was:
- A mother that cooked unhealthy foods, told me I was fat, rewarded with food and critisied almost everything I did resulted in a chubby rebellious teen who continued to reward herself with food - Despite having now lost 56lbs she still has not said a word about my weight loss, but hey, lets not go there!! I now reward myself with anything but food, I try to praise my kids (not always easy at times) and never reward them with food.
- I never really let my size be an issue for me or any one else, as far as I was concerned I was Helen, not the fat friend. I learnt to dive, tried flying, windsurf, kayak, fell in and out of love, got married, had kids, secured a successful career and slowly got bigger - apart from the size of the clothes nothing changed.

Nothing much as changed, I am still Helen, still married, still a mum, still have a successful career and am still learning new things - but the clothes are now getting smaller

misspastry

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

maro_p

I guess not "seeing" yourself. You are stressed, depressed, busy, you put on a few pounds and you think.. "oh, no I have put on a bit of weight".

Then you proceed in not taking pictures of yourself, not going for clothes shopping very often, not trying new things that you know they are going to be unflattering (like new clothes, exercise, running etc) , not going out too much etc. You think, "I have put on a few pounds on, and when this phase is over, I will start eating properly".

When this phase is over and you come out of your 'hole' you realise it is not just a few pounds it is much more and therefore it is much more difficult to do anything about it. You try a bit, you fail and then you proceed as before.

I think that is how it works - at least in my mind

TexasRattlesnake

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

As opposed to being 50 pounds overweight? A lack of focus on personal health (for whatever reason) is bad in any amount, whether it's 50 pounds or 350 pounds.

KLynn0107

For me my weight gain started when I was a kid. My family is all obese or ateast overweight and food was a big part of our lives. We didn't eat healthy, it was mostly fried foods and high calorie treats. In high school I was diagnosed with ptsd and moderate depression. I won't lie I turned to food. I wasn't even aware of how big I had gotten because at the time I was just going through the motions of life. I had been bullied and abuse mentally and physically because of my weight at home and in publicand at one point I just gave up. When I got help I was nearing 300lbs but it wasn't until I got my head together that I could heal my body. There are a lot of different reasons people become obese and that's one reason I vowed never to judge a person based on weight because I don't know their personal story.

utahgirl247

I think there are probably as many reasons to get fat as there are fat people. Everyone's different, and everyone's life has followed a different path. I do think really severe morbid obesity is a form of self harm, though.

i think you may be right. now that i am going through some counseling to deal with childhood sex abuse that riled its ugly head later in life, i believe that in some way or form, subconsciously, wanted to die it is very possible that w/o consciously being aware i was self harming myself. great insight.