Please don't be offended...

NyimaR

For me it was procrastination. I was always a little overweight but I noticed it getting worse. But that was okay because it was only down to the stress of moving house, or of starting a new job, or of doing my MSc and once that was done I'd deal with it. But there was always something else to put it off for. When I got on the scales and the BMI indicator told me I was now obese, (after swearing a lot) I finally decided the only time to do something about it was now.

reteed

Here's my story: I grew up on a farm and worked my butt off every day. I also played softball, volleyball, and ran track all through school. I am 5' 3" and always weighed 115 pounds since I was about 16 years old. I moved to town to go to college. No chores, no school activities, no exercise. Met my husband and we got married. Five months later I got pregnant and the doctor said since I was so petite he wanted to see me gain at least 35 pounds. I gained 84! The day I went into labor I weighed 194 pounds and had a 7.5 pound baby. Before I went home I got on the scale and weighed 172. Then, 6 months later I found out I was 4 months pregnant. My 1st and 2nd children are 11 months apart. And guess what? My 2nd and 3rd children are 15 months apart. I had my 3rd child when my oldest was 2 years and 4 months. My body has never seen my pre-pregnancy weight. And I never understood why. I did not sit on the couch and let them grow up. I was always the one on the floor playing with them and taking them everywhere with me.

Fast forward a few years and try to go out to eat and afford to feed 3 active growing children. Welcome to all you can eat buffet. And I ate enough to get my money's worth, ate my weight in food, however you want to describe it.

Then the kids got active in baseball, girl scouts, boy scouts, sunday school. I became the girl scout leader, the boy scout leader, the sunday school teacher, active in PTA, went and watched game after game after game and developed some serious bleacher butt! Ha! When you're that busy every night of the week, it is so easy to run past fast food and get dinner.

My husband, who is 6' 2", is an absolutely wonderful man! We have been married for 25 years and never once has he made a comment about my weight. He always tells me how beautiful I am. Since we've been married, he has went from 180 pounds to 220. I have went from 115 to 286 to my current weight of 261. He is being helpful and supportive, but he also offers to buy me a bag of Fritos whenever I announce that I've hit my next 5 pound goal. Fritos are my favorite! I told him I would rather be rewarded with diamonds!

Through the years I have continued to play adult softball, adult sand volleyball, and we bowl on a couples bowlling league, so I am somewhat active, not just sit on the couch and watch TV inactive. I am also a VERY picky eater. Not necessarily a vegan, but I do not particularly care for meat. I do not like potato chips, sweets, etc. I can pass on cake, but if I do have a piece I scrape the frosting off. However, I can eat noodles and potatoes thousands of different ways. I am a carbohydrate junky!

One thing I have been blessed with is that my blood pressure and my cholesterol are normal, and I'm not on any medications. My doctor describes me as a healthy obese person. However, I did have my first attack of Diverticulitis about a month and a half ago and so I am a little more conscientious of what I'm eating.

Today my children are grown and my life does not revolve around them. So I am at the gym most days either working out or taking aqua classes in the pool. And my meals can be a baked potato only if I want and not the meat, potato, vegetable meals that we used to have.

Thanks for the question - that was kind of nice telling my story!

MaraDiaz

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

You're a pastry chef. I therefore label you 'part of the problem'. :laugh:

Seriously, 'they' care, they just gave up for longer than you did to gain your extra 50.

Runner50266

Read about food addiction. That's me.

MusicInMyHeart

First, the definition of obesity is very vague as a person my size (5'1" and 205) is "morbidly obese" even though i'm porportionate.. and ive never put on 300 pounds.. but at some point you stop caring.. and you use food as your wall to keep yourself from being hurt. some of it is genetics.. as i've always been the bigger girl in all my classes. also, i wasn't taught proper food habits. so there's many factors that are different for everybody..

^^^This

minicooper1983

I have wondered this too- especially when you see programmes like "Half-Ton teen". I cant get my head round it all.

debreg46

I use to be real small a size as a teenager but I starved myself I would only eat once a week and I got real sick , I also worked out
4 times a week the muscle caused me to gain some weight then I started eating a little more and was working out 3 times a day
in the morning , during lunch, and before bedtime my leg muscles got so big muscle wise that I had to start wearing slacks instead of jeans. Then one day during one of my two hr work outs I pulled the muscles in my gut lower abs, and my ablics
so bad I had to stay wrapped up and the Dr said if I didn't stop working out I wouldn't able to have kids cause my i pulled my
muscles so bad they wouldn't carry a baby to term.
Then My mom told me that if I ever had kids I would get big cause it is in the genes in our family , I thought she didn't know what she was talking about after my first son i was able to loose most of my weight that I gained during my first pregnancy but after my
second child i developed a hypothyroid disease the smallest i was able to get down to was 195 pounds change my diet and exercise program up and still could not get below 195 I was working 50 to 60 hrs a week and taking care of two lil boys and a house and going to aerobics when I could but still was not able to get below 195 pounds .
It not always in there control . I finally went to a Dr that did a bunch of test on me and he told me I had a horomone imbalance and I would never be small again until I was able to get that straighten out and I asked him to help me and he told me he didn't know how to help me except to put me on thyroid meds but it was going to take more then that to do the trick but he said it was not in his hands to do and he didn't have the education to help to do what I need done and wished me luck.
So have you ever consider some people its out of there hands that there is a medical reason of why there big, Or a mental issue like depression and people making fun of them and looking at them like there grose that makes give up and not want to try to help themselves and they seek deeper in depression.

freder1ck

my experience: trying to satiate infinite desire with limited means

TheFinalThird

I am morbidly obese. A little less than 2 months ago, I was 6' 1" and 478 pounds. I am still 6' 1", but weigh 440 pounds headed down to 220 or so. I can't speak for all card carrying members of the Morbidly Obese club. I can only speak for me.

FOR ME, its as simple as Pavlov's dogs. As a child, I learned a connection between feeling full and feeling comforted and loved. When I filled my belly, endorphins kicked in and made me feel happy and satisfied. That accounts for about 60% of my excess weight. Twenty years ago, I was stuck in a burning skyscraper. I was on the 34th floor and the fire was on the 4th floor. I almost died. In the year after that, I gained another 100 or so pounds.

The heavier I got, the more sedentary I got. I reached the point this summer when I realized that I was circuiting between my recliner, my dining room chair, my computer chair, my office chair and my minivan driver's seat. I knew that if I didn't get moving on my own, the time was quickly approaching when I would sit down and never get up again. Then I found this place.

Two months ago, I could barely walk slowly for 10 minutes without stopping. Now, I can walk 3 to 3.5 miles per hour for 50 minutes without stopping. Not exactly running a marathon, but YOU try strapping on two 125 pound plates and doing what YOU do every day. I'll bet it's a bit tiring. I don't say this to generate sympathy, but rather, understanding.

I believe that I have experienced the success that I have so far because of the supportive connection that I have with several members of MFP. Their words and messages of caring and support have eliminated my long ingrained connection between eating and happiness. Now, I experience a new connection between eating within my calories plus regular exercise and happiness. I am eating less, and mostly healthier, exercising more, and happier than I have been in a very long time.

Does this help?

Scott R.

waytogoraus

I was probably obese before I knew what obesity was. As a kid, my Big Fat Italian family fed me anything and everything all the time. Our family time always revolved around food. I knew I wasn't as skinny as other kids in school and I knew I wasn't as physically fit as they were, but I had no means of controlling it. It wasn't until I turned 17, when I had my own job & thus could afford to choose and buy my own foods, that I gained control of my weight. I'm not hostile towards my parents about the way they raised me around food, but I do know that if they realized what they were feeding me and how it was affecting me that I would have had a completely different childhood. I'm 19 now, have lost almost 100 pounds, and I am really passionate about making adults aware (parents specifically) about childhood obesity. I feel like I didn't have a choice in my weight. I ate what I was told to. I did what I was told to. I was a good kid. It took being old enough to make my own decisions to get fit.

MaraDiaz

Here's my story: I grew up on a farm and worked my butt off every day. I also played softball, volleyball, and ran track all through school. I am 5' 3" and always weighed 115 pounds since I was about 16 years old. I moved to town to go to college. No chores, no school activities, no exercise. Met my husband and we got married. Five months later I got pregnant and the doctor said since I was so petite he wanted to see me gain at least 35 pounds. I gained 84! The day I went into labor I weighed 194 pounds and had a 7.5 pound baby. Before I went home I got on the scale and weighed 172. Then, 6 months later I found out I was 4 months pregnant. My 1st and 2nd children are 11 months apart. And guess what? My 2nd and 3rd children are 15 months apart. I had my 3rd child when my oldest was 2 years and 4 months. My body has never seen my pre-pregnancy weight. And I never understood why. I did not sit on the couch and let them grow up. I was always the one on the floor playing with them and taking them everywhere with me.

Fast forward a few years and try to go out to eat and afford to feed 3 active growing children. Welcome to all you can eat buffet. And I ate enough to get my money's worth, ate my weight in food, however you want to describe it.

Then the kids got active in baseball, girl scouts, boy scouts, sunday school. I became the girl scout leader, the boy scout leader, the sunday school teacher, active in PTA, went and watched game after game after game and developed some serious bleacher butt! Ha! When you're that busy every night of the week, it is so easy to run past fast food and get dinner.

My husband, who is 6' 2", is an absolutely wonderful man! We have been married for 25 years and never once has he made a comment about my weight. He always tells me how beautiful I am. Since we've been married, he has went from 180 pounds to 220. I have went from 115 to 286 to my current weight of 261. He is being helpful and supportive, but he also offers to buy me a bag of Fritos whenever I announce that I've hit my next 5 pound goal. Fritos are my favorite! I told him I would rather be rewarded with diamonds!

Through the years I have continued to play adult softball, adult sand volleyball, and we bowl on a couples bowlling league, so I am somewhat active, not just sit on the couch and watch TV inactive. I am also a VERY picky eater. Not necessarily a vegan, but I do not particularly care for meat. I do not like potato chips, sweets, etc. I can pass on cake, but if I do have a piece I scrape the frosting off. However, I can eat noodles and potatoes thousands of different ways. I am a carbohydrate junky!

One thing I have been blessed with is that my blood pressure and my cholesterol are normal, and I'm not on any medications. My doctor describes me as a healthy obese person. However, I did have my first attack of Diverticulitis about a month and a half ago and so I am a little more conscientious of what I'm eating.

Today my children are grown and my life does not revolve around them. So I am at the gym most days either working out or taking aqua classes in the pool. And my meals can be a baked potato only if I want and not the meat, potato, vegetable meals that we used to have.

Thanks for the question - that was kind of nice telling my story!

And here ends the 'fat people are just lazy' myth.

I'm exhausted just from reading that and couldn't have managed half of it even at a healthy weight!

desiv2

Sorry this is long!


I was fat since first grade, as a child I obviously didn't understand what I was doing to my body. I followed the eating habits of my surroundings, ate the portions I was used to seeing. I was very active, but as the weight put on I was less active. Both because it is harder to be active when overweight, and because children can be cruel and it makes it harder for overweight kids to be comfortable with exercise at school. They can also drive them to eat even more for comfort. I would love to see more work done to PREVENT obesity, because I wish someone had done that for me growing up.

Then when I began to understand it, I was too depressed and afraid to change. I was addicted to food, you could even call it a self-treatment for my depression. My depression was majorly caused by my weight. I was overweight because I ate too much. I would self-treat my depression with food, only making me more overweight... can you see how it can turn into a vicious cycle?

A hard one to break, because anytime you try to come to terms with your weight, it caused anxiety and depression, which triggered your urge to eat for comfort.

I think it's honestly up to only one person, yourself, on if you are ready to lose weight. You have to come to terms with yourself and your problems, otherwise you will always avoid the issue, put up the blinders, be in denial.

You deny to yourself how bad it has gotten, and avoid the issue. For almost everyone it just finally comes to a point, where you realize you have to change. It is a lot like drug addiction. I have a drug addicted brother (addiction runs in the family I guess!), and he was very much the same, the drug was a comfort or self-treatment for his depression---it was also the cause of said depression. He was addicted, and It took something incredible to make him change that. He always wanted to change it i'm sure, but there is a difference between wanting to and actually doing it.

The only problem is, you have to have food to survive, and you are always surrounded by enablers. I have so many friends who mean well, but love to say 'one piece of pizza wont kill you, one cupcake wont kill you, a night of drinking wont derail your diet!' This is were you have to find that willpower inside yourself, that everyone has, because otherwise you'll find yourself back where you started.

I think as a nurse you need to remember, a lot of these people are in denial, and trying to force them to see that they are really endangering themselves can make it even worse. You have to be careful with this issue, because before I finally got it, anytime someone mentioned my weight in a bad OR good light no matter their intentions it automatically made me want to eat in order to find comfort. That being said, they should still be encouraged to lose weight for their health.

Also, it took 20 years to put on 185 extra pounds, it isn't like we woke up one day and decide we would just 'let' ourselves become nearly 200 pounds overweight. Most people didn't even weigh themselves to realize how bad it was, I think you should have worded your question better. Ask people what it was that caused them to be overweight, or what their history is, no matter if you say 'no offense' or not. The people on this site are obviously here to change that.

Espressocycle

I never got that fat, but the reason I have overeaten in the past largely comes down to hunger and impulsivity. Oddly enough, I recently went on Strattera for the ADD that has plagued me all my life and a side effect is reduced appetite. It's so nice not to be hungry all the time! Also, it has made me less impulsive and able to delay gratification, so instead of needing to have whatever came into my head NOW NOW NOW, I can plan and set priorities. I haven't HAD to go get some fried chicken as if somehow it could stop existing tomorrow, and I have also been buying less of other things.

KimMaplesBaker

just figuring this out...sorry....i realized reply creates a post and that i should message or quote to respond.....i will get this

KLynn0107

I think they just don't care and it's disgusting.

Is this how you feel about your own weight problems. Unhealthy weight is unhealthy whether it is an extra 60 or extra 100.

gabriellejayde

Everybody has a different breaking point. A lot of overweight people reach the point at which they say, "omg, I have to do something about this" and the task seems so daunting that they let it go, until the next breaking point happens. Each time, it gets harder and harder to DO something about it, because the situation has gotten worse.

the worse it gets, the more depressing it is too... and that makes it even harder to be motivated.

MtnKat

This may not be a popular, but it's just an idea that may help:

If you want some research on the reason why someone is overweight, watch episodes of the Biggest Loser, Heavy and Extreme Weightloss Edition...the first two are on Netflix, the other is on the net. Yes, I know it's reality tv - however those are real people with real issues, too.

It may be a tv show but they always try to get down to the real reason someone is morbidly obese. Most of the time there's a tragedy or something in the past that triggers the weight gain. I also know they show you what the producers want to see....but the contestants themselves really are trying to work through why they are morbidly obese.

Diyah13

I am/was 85 pounds overweight. How did I get there? I love food. It tastes wonderful, and there's no other feeling in the world like finishing a wonderful meal and that sated state that comes afterward. I'm also on the go a lot. I have two children and work full time as does my husband. When we come home in the evening, the idea of making a meal and eating an hour later is daunting. We have all of those food places like McDonald's, Culvers, KFC, any pizza chain you can imagine, and so on all over the city. The price you pay to have someone make it for you is worh it.

I also go there because I have a sweet tooth. I have a lot of coworkers who enjoy bringing in chocolate and other "snacks" to the office. Who can turn it down when it's right there in front of you? In the last year or so, we've started bringing in fruits and vegetables, but the other high calorie items are still there.

Then, I really packed it on when I was expecting both times. I would lose a lot of it after birth and during the six weeks of maternity leave, but it would slowly creep back on after a while.

I hope this helps, and let me know if you have any quesions.

MaraDiaz

I never got that fat, but the reason I have overeaten in the past largely comes down to hunger and impulsivity. Oddly enough, I recently went on Strattera for the ADD that has plagued me all my life and a side effect is reduced appetite. It's so nice not to be hungry all the time! Also, it has made me less impulsive and able to delay gratification, so instead of needing to have whatever came into my head NOW NOW NOW, I can plan and set priorities. I haven't HAD to go get some fried chicken as if somehow it could stop existing tomorrow, and I have also been buying less of other things.

Yeah, ADD definitely does not help. With weight or anything else.

zombie_porno

I grew up in a mostly obese family. My mother always gave us heaping plates & we rarely only had one full plate, usually two. I was never encouraged to go out & play, but rather to read & study. The combination of eating habits I developed combined with a very couch potato mentality led me to early obesity. I also found out later on from various doctors that I have thyroid & metabolism issues. It wasn't so much that I "let" myself get this way, rather I was turned fat by my biological issues & my family's habits. I'm STILL fighting that combination to this day.