Please don't be offended...

ValerieMartini2Olives

I didn't get 300 pounds because I wanted to. I didn't know any better. My parents didn't teach me well enough when I was younger. My dad took me to McDonald's 5-7 days a week. My mother's kitchen is a nightmare. I had no idea how badly I was eating until I was in my 20's. I've been trying desperately to undo the damage. I go to my parents' house now, and I open the pantry and the fridge and it's nothing but JUNK JUNK JUNK.

lucindasun

I have been overweight since my teens, was always active, in dance classes, swimming and biked and roller skated non stop but still had weight issues. As an adult, always in aerobics or aquacise classes, but always struggling with weight, Since diagnosed with gallbladder issues had to cut out, a lot of fats, still had weight problems. Was off my feet for nearly 6 months after a complicated knee surgery and quickly and easily gained about 15 lbs and my thighs and belly increased in size. Just from less activity. I started doing crunches and sit ups on the couch and arm curls and leg lifts.
I shudder to think what I'd look like if I wasnt eating well and not excercising at all. I think for some people it can happen so fast and so easily and the next thing you know you are morbidly obese.
My knee has improved a great deal, Im walking without a limp, biking days are over but I can get on the stepper for almost 10 mins. I walk I swim,stairs are getting better. I was told by my Doctor and a dietician that I am presently maintaining my current weight with a healthy diet and would have to drastically reduce calories and increase activity in order to lose weight then could resume a healthy regime. Now that's the hard part. I'm already eating so well, salads for lunch everyday, fat free greek yogurt, tons of veg, lean proteins, no saturated fats, no milk, low fat cheeses, if any, no pasta, whole grains only, lot's of vegetarian meals, no processed food. I'd have to maybe live on soup for a month to see a difference.

BeeElMarvin

Fat's a sneaky fukker! Sneaks up on you and pretty soon: Viola! You are a fattazz! Ta-Da!

Helloitsdan

Give fat a reason to exist and it will.

The 4 major biological functions of fat tissue are
(1) energy storage
(2) toxin storage
(3) protection against insulin resistance, and
(4) protection against estrogen decline in women.
Eliminate the functions of fat tissue also eliminates the reasons for its existence.

bugnbeansmom

I know for myslef, I was an athlete as a kid. NEVER worried about what I ate. I gained weight with my first daughter as I went on bed rest at 22 weeks and blew up. I had the baby, tried to lose the weight, no luck. Asked for a thyroid check, nothing. continued to gain, worked 80 hours a week with a newborn and found myself deeply depressed but did not know it. Lost a baby at 18 weeks, grew more depressed, continued on this path for 4 years. One day, (St Patrick's Day as a matter of fact 2006), my husband and I were walking down the road and some girls yelled and heckled me. They even went as far as to moo at me. it cut like a knife. I went on to focus and lost 100 lbs. 293 to 193. and then.......... pregnant again. This time, I was healthy enough to see my son born in 2008. I gained another 20 lbs iwth himi, moved to a new city when he was 3 weeks old and hovered right around the 225 mark with a high of 240. I started working from home and set some goals for myself that did not involve wieght loss. Train for and run three 5ks in 2011. Ended up running the Warrior Dash. I also found a lump in my neck that ended up being a thyroid issue. It took a while to get my meds down and for me to understand how things impact me differently. I think it has stuck this time as my additiction has shifted to running. Even after my stress fracture has kept me out of trianing for a few weeks now (ran through my first Triathlon and decided to let it heal now). I have lost a few pounds becuase I understand my body. proudly sitting at 178 today. Over my 6" frame it looks very womanly I am told. I went from a 24 to a 10 size in my pants. Dress size is an 8. I also like the lifestyle. My husband has started running as losing as well. He found himself well over 300 lbs and is proudly down to 262 today. Together it is better. Our son and daughter see us set goals and achieve them. For us, the side effect of losing wieght has been amazing but the lessons we teach our children matter more. They are learning to eat well and will choose fruit over candy every time. My son thinks hummus is "the best thing ever!" He even ran in his first miler with his dad yesterday. He's 4. Hoping to save them the struggles so they can always feel how I feel right now!

So many factors for me but mostly life. Not handling my struggles well and not pressing on when my body was telling me something was wrong but the doc said I was fine.

41nb

i totally agree with you...

newmooon56

Well, first off, when people start something off with "please don't be offended" usually the topic is designed to be offensive.

You speak of fat people as if we are a different species, as if we are vermin. That won't bring you to understanding. And I suspect any answer a "fattie" gives will sound like an excuse to you.

.......

Yet, I'm still annoyed by people who think that being fat is a moral failing. Or people who look at those of us who are fat as vermin or as people who are unworthy of being treated with basic decency.

NO. I do NOT speak of fat people in such a way, so please do not talk to me like you know me better than I know myself. Are you my God? No.

Secondly, I am fat. I was overweight a lot of my life. Right now I am in the healthy range for weight, but my BF% is too high.
Thirdly, I specifically came to this forum because I knew that there were people in this world who would like to help others understand the WHY and HOW, in real-life terms, of becoming obese and morbidly obese.

If you are so full of hate that anything, even a post such as this makes you angry, well then do not bother to ever respond to one of my posts again. I am not filled with hate, and I wish only the best to people trying to become healthier. Heck, that is a big reason as to why I want to be in the healthcare field.

And p.s. Perhaps the reason you are so quick to respond in such a hateful manner is the fact that you feel that way about yourself. If this is the case, I am so sorry, and I know what it is like to not love yourself. However, please do not take it out on others; get some help.

Just wanted to say good for you for recognizing this post for what it is. Collect the helpful ones and move on. We all have reasons OR EXCUSES - admitting them is great - berating others for your personal demons when we all have our own is BS.
Carry on and good luck with finding the info you need.

fbmandy55

I'm probably going to get smeared for saying this but it's honest. I don't use a medical condition as a cructh or an excuse. I have PCOS (insulin resistance). It did NOT cause me to get fat. Eating very unhealthy and being inactive did. I developed PCOS because I was fat. It IS harder for me to lose weight because of my condition but my prescription medicines do not help me. Every pound I have lost or gained is a result of my calorie intake and exercise.

Most of the time when people have a medical condition that makes it hard for them to exercise or lose weight, they medical condition itself is a direct result of being unhealthy and being overweight. Many times, genetics play a role and I understand events such as surgery that may put someone down for a time can cause them to to become inactive. If they are eating more and moving less, of course they will gain weight. But saying, I am overweight because I have "X condition" is a lie many people tell themselves to justify their weight gain. I had to overcome that myself. Chances are you have that condition because you were unhealthy or you have made a condition worse by being unhealthy. .

patchesgizmo

well - a few things led to it. I was always on the heavy side even as a child, low self esteem. I liked books more then the outside. then my 2nd child was born with a severe heart defect and went thru a divorce and bankruptcy and 20 years of being a single parent with 2 kids one with adhd, one with add & a heart defect. I ate to comfort myself, and I ate what was cheap. September 2010 I had to make the decision to turn off life support on my son. I am now working on changing my lifestyle.

Hopefully this short answer will help.

AutumnRose33

This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:

How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.

Thank you

-Nicole

Not caring about how I looked. You gain slowly, 10-15 lbs per year. Over the span of years of overeating, you look up and you've gained a lot of weight. I gained 140 lbs over a 11 year span.

^^This^^ It comes on slowly but surely, while your busy with work and kids or whatever, and you keep thinking you will deal with it later, when life slows down, and all of a sudden, its not just a few pounds or a pants size, its 100 pounds and 12 pants sizes.

suchastruggle

And unlike a drug or alcohol addiction, you have to have food to survive. An alcoholic or drug addict could give it up (not saying it would be without a struggle), but never HAVE to have the thing they were addicted to again. With a food-aholic/emotional eater, you have to face that demon every day, multiple times a day and actually give in to it - trying to find the right point at which to say "this should be it". It's extremely difficult, at least from my personal experience.

amcmullan

Ive always been a bigger girl. I have played sports and been pretty active my whole life, but still was always larger than most girls although my body was proportioned very well and I do not look like i weigh as much as i do. I havent however always made the best food choices. So I chalk my obesity up to processed and chemical induced food. Thats why im on here now, to change my lifestyle and the way i live and eat. Still I dont think I could ever be "small" but as long as im healthy and toned and in shape, thats all that matters.

poshcouture

It isn't a question of how, but why. Obesity and Morbid obesity can be the result of various factors including medical and psychological. For me, eating was and is a coping mechanism. I had to deal with physical and sexual abuse and all of it was swept under a rug. Since it was never dealt with properly, I ate, not really understanding why. Of course, I was ridiculed at school or in public which in turn lead to low self esteem. And I ate more.

Therefore, as an adult, I sought help. I've had to learn what my triggers are and tools to overcome them. While I am not HUGE, the fact remains is that I have a physical and emotional battle to win - that is a challenge!

Additionally OP, sometimes people just plain give up. They feel in their mind that they're already big and probably always will be so whatever! I've been there. I didn't necessarily say it, but I felt it.

xNJAx

I've only read the first page of responses so I apologise if something like this has already been said!

I've never been overweight myself so I can't answer from personal experience, but I do know two ladies who were sexually abused as children and teenagers. They both intentionally gained weight until they were morbidly obese in a bid to make themselves completely unattractive and undesirable to the opposite sex. It was a self-preservation thing for both of them which I found quite interesting.

People are very complex and I'm sure there are hundreds of reasons people allow themselves, whether intentionally or otherwise, to get larger.

PS - I love that you're interested enough to try and understand the people you may be working with in the future!

banshishi

Got fat because I ate too much and did too little and didn't care enough to change...There is a whole long list of emotional excuses as to why I didn't care, but the truth is simple enough and no amount of excuses will change that.

cactusphil

I hate seeing people blame their parents for "cooking too much of the wrong foods" or "not learning the right way to eat as a child." It's all excuses. Diet and exercise is the most common reason people gain weight. I know it's the reason I am where I am. I'm responsible for eating poorly and not exercising enough to overcome my poor choices. I do realize there are medical factors as well, but I'm sure the percentage in that category is the minority.

That said, we've all experienced doctors and nurses with little or no empathy towards our situation. I personally will change doctors over it. Just remember that it's better to be nice and not judgmental. It will carry you a long way in your career as a nurse.

wewon

Well, first off, when people start something off with "please don't be offended" usually the topic is designed to be offensive.

You speak of fat people as if we are a different species, as if we are vermin. That won't bring you to understanding. And I suspect any answer a "fattie" gives will sound like an excuse to you.

This isn't fair at all.

The OP wasn't trying to be offensive. This is a volatile topic and very emotional for some, so of course she tried to frame it not to alienate people.

bigaris911

This is not an offensive question and most people would not understand. As a man who topped out at 433lbs, (currently 397) I feel that food brings a certain comfort to me. I had a high stress job, school, just got married( wife went through alot, lost her grandmother), So you would be surprised how easy it is to get so big. I ate out constantly, fast food is cheaper than salads, not having time to even shop cook or breath, then all of a sudden you just gained 100lbs. To note I am a very tall man (6"6) with high muscle mass( lean weight with 0% BF is 266lbs), you eat because of the comfort feeling you get when full. When your life is not full, and mine did not feel that way for a while, you need to be filled in other ways. Well I left my crap job, I got a less stress job, doing better in school, and I had a heart to heart with my wife ( I understand she went through alot but we just got married we need to enjoy life too and not be depressed all the time, we all lose loved one!). Since then I have lost close to 40lbs and would like to reach about 310lbs, which for me is a good weight( Although that would still have me in the BMI range of obese), but I like being the big guy, but I don't have to be so big ya feel me? So as far as factors go, eating till your that big has psycological and physical triggers, the fact that if your on the go a salad is 9 bucks but a fast food burger is roughly 3-4 bucks....

SoDamnHungry

Food is just another thing we can become addicted to. Just like most addictions, there are many reasons you turn to it.

Helloitsdan

Well, first off, when people start something off with "please don't be offended" usually the topic is designed to be offensive.

You speak of fat people as if we are a different species, as if we are vermin. That won't bring you to understanding. And I suspect any answer a "fattie" gives will sound like an excuse to you.

This isn't fair at all.

The OP wasn't trying to be offensive. This is a volatile topic and very emotional for some, so of course she tried to frame it not to alienate people.

Agreed.

fbmandy55

I ate out constantly, fast food is cheaper than salads, not having time to even shop cook or breath, then all of a sudden you just gained 100lbs

So wrong in this statement. And also, sometimes a fancy, expensive salad at a restaurant is higher in calories than big mac. You can get plenty of things at McDonalds for 500 calories or less. Time is an excuse as well, there are so many ways to prepare food that you should never have an excuse. I do overnight oats before I go to bed. Takes me 90 seconds to prepare and just grab it on my way out the door in the morning..

I buy mostly meats, frozen veggies, fruit and dairy products and my groceries have never been cheaper. The most expensive things I bought in the past were processed foods.

Reinventing_Me

This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:

How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.

Thank you

-Nicole

Not caring about how I looked. You gain slowly, 10-15 lbs per year. Over the span of years of overeating, you look up and you've gained a lot of weight. I gained 140 lbs over a 11 year span.

THIS.

Only for me, it wasn't that I didn't care how I looked, because I did. For me, it was lifestyle. Desk job, young children, evenings spent checking homework, mornings spent getting kids ready for school, eating lunch out most work days, improper portion sizes. All that played a part in the weight creeping on slowly but surely. It got to the point that I didn't WANT to know what I weighed because I new the number would be bad and I didn't want to see it. I crept up to a size 22W/24W and said "Okay, as long as you don't get to a 26/28". I also told myself I carried it well and was fairly proportionate - at least that's how I thought I looked in my clothes. Pictures tell another story.

Anyway, I guess I'm one of the ones who let themselves creep ever so close to 300 pounds. Making excuses that I had no time or money to try and get healthy even though I have a treadmill and a home gym. Sometimes I truly felt like I had no time. Even though I was terrified that I'd develop high blood pressure and have a heart attack, I did nothing. I didn't even want to go to the doctor for my physicals because I didn't want to know that my labwork was abnormal (fortunately I went, and it never was - also never had HBP). When I finally started weighing myself, I'd have the mindset that "oh, good, I didn't gain weight". Was I content? NOT IN THE LEAST. It wasn't until my mom had a stroke and lost the use of her left side in May 2011 that I realized I was probably headed for the same fate. It still took me until November to get it together. So here I am, making strides to be a whole other type of statistic. One that got her health and life under control instead of falling prey to obesity.

MoreBean13

I want to read all the responses later, I think this is a very interesting topic.

For me it was sort of a perfect storm, I have thyroid disease- which I knew about and was medicated for, but didn't understand the "tricks" to not gaining weight from it, I started working more and playing sports less and less, it just lost priority for me...i developed a vitamin b12 deficiency- which really was the kicker, because it made me tired and lazy, and as I slowly ballooned, all of those factors contributed to depression, which in turn made me sort of give up. I never was a gluttonous eater, in fact I probably ate too little much of the time- but had some emotional oreo-type binge moments, further suppressing my already thyroid-sluggish metabolism. I have since tackled each one of the contributing factors head on, and today I am healthy, happy, able to eat more than I did when I gained weight, and have energy to spare. It wasn't easy sorting it all out, and the medical issues took months before I really got "better" but the time spent was totally worth it.

yksdoris

I'll echo a lot of people who already answered before me: If it's not a medical issue (most commonly named one seems to be a thyroid problem), then it's a psychological thing.

For me, I was a very scrawny child. I was born underweight, I had asthma as a kid, I was thin and sickly and my grandparents had gone through WWII... so basically all I ever heard from my grandmother was to eat. Every 2 hours, eat!

I was the eldest kid, and quite bookish, while my brother, he was the athlete. He was alway so accomplished at it, I didn't even try. I never did any sports, and to this day, I loathe running. Also, we weren't the richest family, and what with havind a younger brother and a younger sister, any "goodies" (and that includes fruit, btw) would have to be consumed as fast as possible, otherwise there'd be nothing left if you went "eh... i'll have one later".

The most difficult thing to kick was my habit of snacking while reading. I loooove reading.

the biggest "jump" in weight gain came when I moved from Eastern Europe to Western Europe and everything at first tasted almost sickly sweet and buttery. After a while I got used to it, but there's a reason why it tasted like that: the "somewhat unhealthy" food here simply packs more calories. Cookies: more calories, bread: more calories, juices: more calories... so while I was eating the same quantity of food, I was actually rather drastically upping my calories.

Then, once I no longer fit into my old clothes, I started getting depressed (though, honestly, that wasn't only about food. work sucked as well) and using food as consolation/punishment. I joined a gym, yes, but after going to the gym I'd "reward" myself with an unhealthy snack thus totally undoing the workout. Or, when I'd planned to go but didn't: then instead of watching my calories, I'd feel miserable and have a snack, which would make me even more miserable etc.

But, most importantly, it was ignorance. I simply didn't realize how many calories I was eating. I knew, of course that all the snacks were bad, I just didn't know how bad.

harleygaljojo

People have always been amazed that I gained weight because I have never eaten as much as the average person does but gained weight very quickly and it would just not come off. I did not want to and I really did not just let myself it was just there. However, I have several medical problems that all effect my weight, and now I have the diagnosis and meds needed and I am able to lose the weight. I don't think anyone just wants to be fat, everyone has something that has effected them in a way that they gain weight.

woundedbydust

I haven't read all the replies so this has probably been said dozens of times, but I think it happens gradually and by the time you notice it's going on you're maybe not in the right state of mind to change.
I've never been huge exactly but I did gain around 35lbs over the space of two years, and at the time it felt like nothing. I went through nearly a year and a half where I couldn't find a job and wasn't in school, which contributed to a lot of the weight gain because a) I wasn't making much effort to leave the house or do any physical activity whatsoever, and b) I was miserable and disgusted with myself anyway! A few extra stone in weight didn't matter to me. I had a lot of issues with depression and social anxiety at the time, and combined with my PCOS it was so, so easy to see the pounds piling on and do nothing about it.

fbmandy55

People have always been amazed that I gained weight because I have never eaten as much as the average person does but gained weight very quickly and it would just not come off. I did not want to and I really did not just let myself it was just there. However, I have several medical problems that all effect my weight, and now I have the diagnosis and meds needed and I am able to lose the weight. I don't think anyone just wants to be fat, everyone has something that has effected them in a way that they gain weight.

The thing is, meds don't make you lose weight. Calories in and out. I lost 30lbs when I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on two scripts to help my symptoms, but they don't aid in weight loss. My doctors confirmed that the weight I was losing was a result of my efforts to exercise and eat well. And the only cure for my condition was to get healthy. My condition was CAUSED by weight gain and will get better when I am in a healthy weight range.

Echo_Dan

There's been two occasions where I've put on weight.

First -
I was going out with a girl when I was 18 through to 23. My family ate at 6-6:30pm. Normal healthy portions. I would then jump in the car and drive up to see her. She lived 30 minutes drive away. Problem was her family ate at about 8:30pm. And I was EXPECTED to join them for dinner. Even when I put up a fight (I was shy back then and would just go along with their firm requests) I got the usual, you're a big boy you need to eat more. (Im 6 foot 4 tall.) Gradually I put on weight. It wasn't until we broke up and I took up Ju-Jitsu with some friends that I lost the 3 stone I'd put on.

Second -
After getting married I didn't do Ju-Jitsu any more and became more and more sedentary. I put some weight on but not a huge amount. The tipping point came when I gave up smoking. I snacked a bit more but not excessively. The wife became pregnant and developed pre-eclampsia and went in to hospital at 5 months. Our little boy was born a month later. 3 months premature. I was seriously stressed, and we were supposed to be moving house so I was doing it all on my own and just lived on junk. After Alex came home we discovered he was autistic, and then found out my mother in law has cancer. So time to go out and exercise was very limited. (Like yesterday for example where I was supposed to go out for the afternoon mountain biking but couldn't as I had to stay in and babysit as the mother in law wasn't feeling well and the wife was having to play Florence Nightingale

.

opalescence

read up on Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) its very insightful about most of the general issues that lead to obesity.

For me a big part was emotional neglect, I am an only child and my parents divorced when I was 5 and then it became a contest for attention and I always lost... food was there and it made me feel happy... until... I started putting on weight than I became hated by most of my family and was thought of as disgusting which led to more loneliness and more emotional eating.

best advice is have compassion.

beansprouts

This is a genuine question I am asking because I am very interested in obesity and morbid obesity, specifically WHY and HOW. I am also a nursing student, and I understand that factors X, Y, and Z play into obesity. But here is my question, and I would really appreciate honest answers from people who truly understand:

How does a person "let" himself or herself become so heavy? How and why does a person put on 300, 400, 500 pounds? I just do not understand and would really like to "get it" so in the future, as a nurse, I can better help those struggling with this issue.

Thank you

-Nicole

Since you are studying to become a medical professional...I will tell you exactly how I became morbidly obese. About 8 years ago, I suffered a very hard fall on some ice. (luckily?) I did not break any bones although the jeans that I had been wearing were ripped and torn in the place where my right leg hit the pavement. One of my teeth had been knocked loose so I went to the dentist and had the tooth taken care of right away. There was bruising (but no broken skin) on my right leg and if there had been any pain coming from that injured leg...I certainly never felt it because whatever my dentist had given me for the tooth pain numbed my entire body. Anyway...a few months after the fall...my right leg starts swelling...so I immediately go to my PC doctor about the leg swelling... ((Please note...at the point where my leg began swelling , there was nothing to immediately connect the swelling in my right leg with the ice fall a few months earlier)). I became the case perfect example of the individual constantly running in and out of a Dr's/ specialist offices and coming out with no cure for my condition while receiving tons of questionable tests, and drug precriptions.

Long story short...For more than six years, I hobbled around facing life on mismatched legs..all the while religiously going in and out of various doctors, specialists and others (Including many recommended by concerned friends and family members). I got tests and prescriptions but what I did not get was a diagnosis. ((I was frustrated and I took the opportunity to over eat and to pamper myself with food...big, big mistake!)). By the time that I found out how to repair my leg...I woke up to find that I now had a very serious weight problem (327lbs)...My PC doctor recommended bariatric surgery...but based on my track record and experience...I opted for trying MFP first..