MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM

deniseearheart
deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
I have been in three serious relationships that always seem to go the same way no matter how different or great the person seems at first they always turn out to be someone completely different. I fight and fight and fight to get that person back I fell in love with fighting til the very end . I feel like it is them being dishonest to me. Why would they be wonderful and everything I ever wanted in the beginning and a year or two down the road when I am completely in love with them they change into the meanest nastiest person..... What could I be doing wrong
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    What could I be doing wrong


    You're picking the same man. 3 times over.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    Because they get used to you, you need to spice it up a bit.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    You should take up shake weights and underwater basket weaving... stat.
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
    Date women, they are much easier to deal with than men :P
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Haven't you posted several threads on this last relationship?

    You are likely as previously said, picking the same kind of gentlemen. So change who you look for. Or don't look for a while. Go to therapy and maybe get to the root of why you pick Mr. Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. A-hole.
  • jkrim941
    jkrim941 Posts: 226 Member
    Personally, I began to try to work through my own issues (the ones I swore I didn't have) with a therapist because every relationship was turning out the same because I was creating the circumstances to allow it. All without knowing it and mainly because I wasn't happy with myself, even though I would lie and say I was.
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    Yep. It's you.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,455 Member
    Or maybe it IS them.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    or maybe it's raspberry ketones.
  • MustBeTheRows
    MustBeTheRows Posts: 377 Member
    MustBeTheRows Is just one man.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Date women, they are much easier to deal with than men :P


    WTF!?!? :frown:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    You are expecting people to remain the same always. That is not human nature, baby, I'm sorry. Humans by nature evolve to adapt to constantly changing surroundings. If you fight to make a person stay the same always, they will resent you and feel that they can never live up to your standards to always be the person they met at first.

    Simply falling in love changes you. Date someone for sixth months, you fall in love, you are already both different and different triggers are going to cause different reactions and personality changes.

    If you fight to the very end to make someone stay who they were in the beginning, then you are fighting against growing together. If you are not both growing,.... then one of you is left behind and confused and thinks they've been abandoned- when all they did was try to stay the same.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    You are a woman so of COURSE you are the problem.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Your the girl that is left at his parents. While he is at the bar?
    Girl call me. We can fix this for you.:smokin:
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    it probably is you
    and
    yoovie you are very pretty......OOPS wrong thread never mind the Hey yall creeper reference \m/
  • You are expecting people to remain the same always. That is not human nature, baby, I'm sorry. Humans by nature evolve to adapt to constantly changing surroundings. If you fight to make a person stay the same always, they will resent you and feel that they can never live up to your standards to always be the person they met at first.

    Simply falling in love changes you. Date someone for sixth months, you fall in love, you are already both different and different triggers are going to cause different reactions and personality changes.

    If you fight to the very end to make someone stay who they were in the beginning, then you are fighting against growing together. If you are not both growing,.... then one of you is left behind and confused and thinks they've been abandoned- when all they did was try to stay the same.


    ^^ nicely said :drinker:
  • People in general play the same game..they act the way you like..then they change hoping you will follow..
  • Personally, I began to try to work through my own issues (the ones I swore I didn't have) with a therapist because every relationship was turning out the same because I was creating the circumstances to allow it. All without knowing it and mainly because I wasn't happy with myself, even though I would lie and say I was.

    this.
  • You are expecting people to remain the same always. That is not human nature, baby, I'm sorry. Humans by nature evolve to adapt to constantly changing surroundings. If you fight to make a person stay the same always, they will resent you and feel that they can never live up to your standards to always be the person they met at first.

    Simply falling in love changes you. Date someone for sixth months, you fall in love, you are already both different and different triggers are going to cause different reactions and personality changes.

    If you fight to the very end to make someone stay who they were in the beginning, then you are fighting against growing together. If you are not both growing,.... then one of you is left behind and confused and thinks they've been abandoned- when all they did was try to stay the same.

    I also agree with this.. u cant expect someone to stay the same forever. That is boring and old! And if your fighting for.him to stay moat likely your annoying piss out of him.


    ^^ nicely said :drinker:
  • Sounds like one of you fell out of lust.
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    It hurts and I can't get past it.. I don't know how to move forward :-(
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Date women, they are much easier to deal with than men :P

    Having dated both, I can say in my experience, men are *far* easier to deal with.
  • RoseThePenguin
    RoseThePenguin Posts: 100 Member
    You should take up shake weights and underwater basket weaving... stat.

    True dat.
  • smtillman2
    smtillman2 Posts: 756 Member
    It's so you!
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    Date women, they are much easier to deal with than men :P

    Having dated both, I can say in my experience, men are *far* easier to deal with.





    are they?? I almost thought about dating women :-/
  • post pictures
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
    one guy, okay it's probably him
    two guys, okay it's probably him
    three guys+, it's you, you're a button pusher.


    Ever see As Good as it Gets? Jack Nicholson is a writer, a woman asks him how he writes women so well, he says, "I Think of a man, and then I subtract reasoning and accountability" No truer statement has ever been put to film :devil:
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Either 1) the person was never great at all and you just thought he was, 2) the person was pretending to be someone great to get you and then got comfortable or 3) the person is great and the problem is you.
    I'm inclined to think the problem is you because it's happened three times in a row. If you continue to do the same thing you can expect the same result.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    one guy, okay it's probably him
    two guys, okay it's probably him
    three guys+, it's you, you're a button pusher.


    Ever see As Good as it Gets? Jack Nicholson is a writer, a woman asks him how he writes women so well, he says, "I Think of a man, and then I subtract reasoning and accountability" No truer statement has ever been put to film :devil:

    ::swoon::
  • wickednitsch
    wickednitsch Posts: 29 Member
    one guy, okay it's probably him
    two guys, okay it's probably him
    three guys+, it's you, you're a button pusher.


    Ever see As Good as it Gets? Jack Nicholson is a writer, a woman asks him how he writes women so well, he says, "I Think of a man, and then I subtract reasoning and accountability" No truer statement has ever been put to film :devil:

    ::swoon::

    :laugh: Yeah, that's a charming sentiment, isn't it?