MAYBE I AM THE PROBLEM

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Replies

  • GorillaEsq
    GorillaEsq Posts: 2,198 Member
    Your BS meter reader also needs new batteries. You should never ever have to "fight for someone"
    Yeah. That's actually exactly what I explained. Thanks.
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    well you could allways try the gie that starts off as an a-hole and mebbie it will turn out diffrent.......but i doubt it.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    Haven't you posted several threads on this last relationship?

    You are likely as previously said, picking the same kind of gentlemen. So change who you look for. Or don't look for a while. Go to therapy and maybe get to the root of why you pick Mr. Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. A-hole.

    ^^This. All of it. Try going for a completely different type of guy you would normally be interested in, as they obviously all share that same bait-and-switch characteristic, for some reason. And some time off from dating wouldn't be a bad idea, to give yourself time to learn about yourself and build up your self-esteem. :heart:
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    It's not you at all. Men don't change. If he is mean and nasty in a few years it means he has always been that way and you just seem to realize it now. I know it is hard to move on without someone but isn't your boyfriend the one that looked at dating sites to hook up with other women before the move and the one who leaves you with his parents to get drunk? I think you are better off without him and you deserve better.






    yes :-( Also says we are engaged and he wants to marry me but never wants to set a date or talk about it :indifferent:

    Did he properly ask you to marry him and give you a ring? You've been with him for 4 years and he doesn't wanna set a date or talk about it? That seems a little weird. If you 2 are engaged why was he looking up girls to hook up with? Why does he stay out every night getting drunk instead of being with you? If he truly loves you why would he want you to have the body you had when you were in your early 20's and not accept you for who you are now? Just questions to think about.
  • ScottFree_66
    ScottFree_66 Posts: 200
    If he's smart he's running in the opposite direction. You don't seem stable.

    Why would he leave? She is smoking hot and he is manipulating her and gets away with doing whatever he wants.

    In my opinion she should go to a comic book convention and hook up with a geek... ;we treat our women right! )
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member

    In my opinion she should go to a comic book convention and hook up with a geek... ;we treat our women right! )

    You treat your women right, only if you're the kind of geek that can pull himself/herself away from COD.
  • ScottFree_66
    ScottFree_66 Posts: 200

    In my opinion she should go to a comic book convention and hook up with a geek... ;we treat our women right! )

    You treat your women right, only if you're the kind of geek that can pull himself/herself away from COD.

    LOL that can be true.... normally defended by saying, "at least I'm not out at the bar fooling around". Guess there can be bad apples everywhere.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member

    LOL that can be true.... normally defended by saying, "at least I'm not out at the bar fooling around". Guess there can be bad apples everywhere.

    True.

    I'm married to a gamer/geek now who is a good apple, but my last relationship was baaaaaaaaaaad! You can feel just as lonely as if they were out at the bar fooling around, sometimes.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I have the same problem too! Except my first boyfriend wasn't a bad person, but my second and third both ended up being completely nuts. The second had an anxiety disorder and was a compulsive liar with anger issues. The third was a narcissist and pathological liar also with anger issues.

    I'm a geek and my first was an otaku, my second a Street Fighter competitor, my third a neuroscientist. -_- I've even country-hopped multiple times (this is my fourth country I'm writing from).

    I agree that at least in my case, it is probably my own problem. HOWEVER, the one thing I DID notice is that even the guys who are interested me, but I never date usually end up fitting the bill: smart and highly-educated/completely nuts. They are probably only smart and well-educated because that is the group I tend to associate myself with. Therefore keeping education/intelligence constant, the only difference between the men whom are attracted to me and the rest is: degree of craziness. :indifferent:

    One thing I'm trying that maybe you could look into too is changing your physical appearance. I am on a diet (once again) to try and lose my boobs/thighs/butt and have even begun changing my entire wardrobe. My mom suggested my physical appearance is what's drawing bad men, and since she's almost always right, I'm giving it a go.

    I dyed my hair back to brown, but here is an example of the clothing I used to wear, and how I have begun dressing in contrast.

    IMG_5295.jpg

    Before, low cut shirts, mini skirts, thigh-high socks, heels

    IMG_2514_zps417a64ae.jpg

    after. My hair is brown again now though.

    If you want to become friends on MFP, send me a request. Maybe we could both try this out and see if a more-puritan look draws better men. Good luck! :ohwell:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    well that is part of it. He says he loves me and wants to marry me... But he treats me bad... I don't understand

    If he treats you bad now, it will probably get worse once you are married.

    Exit stage left now!
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
    May I add that I believe most of us know deep down what the answer is. The problem is...not wanting to accept it. Change is inevitable, and change is good (most of the time); however change does not come easy.

    I had a wise woman tell me once "Instead of trying to find ways to "fix" your man, try to re-evalute yourself" Just some food for thought.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Fer serious? It is you. Just skip the relationships. Here, this may help you out

    crazy-cat-lady-starter-kit.jpg

    :laugh: Send naow!
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    If he's smart he's running in the opposite direction. You don't seem stable.

    Why would he leave? She is smoking hot and he is manipulating her and gets away with doing whatever he wants.

    In my opinion she should go to a comic book convention and hook up with a geek... ;we treat our women right! )





    awwwww thanks your sweet :-)
  • deniseearheart
    deniseearheart Posts: 919 Member
    It's not you at all. Men don't change. If he is mean and nasty in a few years it means he has always been that way and you just seem to realize it now. I know it is hard to move on without someone but isn't your boyfriend the one that looked at dating sites to hook up with other women before the move and the one who leaves you with his parents to get drunk? I think you are better off without him and you deserve better.






    yes :-( Also says we are engaged and he wants to marry me but never wants to set a date or talk about it :indifferent:

    Did he properly ask you to marry him and give you a ring? You've been with him for 4 years and he doesn't wanna set a date or talk about it? That seems a little weird. If you 2 are engaged why was he looking up girls to hook up with? Why does he stay out every night getting drunk instead of being with you? If he truly loves you why would he want you to have the body you had when you were in your early 20's and not accept you for who you are now? Just questions to think about.






    yes hun he did .. I dont know whats going on...

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