Mommy is losing it...

Jeliwood

I think what you need to do in public and what you need to do in private are different.

In public if they want something: tell them what's going to happen BEFORE you go into the store. "We're going into Target today. If you do not whine and act well, we will ge to look at the toys. But, today we are not going to buy any toys. We simply do not have the money for that today." See, this gives them a reason why, especially around 6 when they're starting to understand money. Or "When you behave well in the store, you will be rewarded with a toy or a treat that costs under X amount. If at any time you whine, complain, or are rude, it will be taken away- even after the item has been bought." My 3yo likes matchbox cars so when she acts well, she can pick one out. This can also teach kids about money and taxes and such.

If they start to act badly you bend down to their level, take them by the shoulder and whisper (because it's far scarier) "I do not like the way you are acting right now. It doesn't make me want to be your friend and it doesn't make me want to do things for you. Show me you can ask for what you want in a better way and we'll see. If I say no, that's it." If they continue to ask for it, ignore them unless they get loud. Then you simply leave the store. "You are embarrassing yourself and you're bothering everyone around you. They don't like that. It's rude. You don't get to go places and do things when you act this way."

So, at home, if they're whining a lot it maybe because they want attention. If it's just whining and not really acting badly find something for you two to do together. Play together, cook together, cuddle up and watch a show together. They might just be wanting for some attention and that'll fix it. My 3yo does that a lot. All she really needs is just a few minutes of one on one time.

Also, I found at this age with my older daughter is that she whined a lot when she was hungry. Of course she ate her regular three meals but at this age she was going through a lot of growth spurts and she gets MEAN when she's hungry and she doesn't always realize that she is that way. Slice up some fruit, maybe an apple with some peanut butter (a very nice and healthy snack that is interactive. Kids love to dip things. Yogurt is good if they have any nut allergies) Also, if they're growing a lot, besides the hunger they may be sore. They really don't know how to say that they are either. If they're being EXTREMELY whiny and listless and crabby in general, maybe a dose of aspirin is in order. I mean, aren't you whiny and crabby when you're sore? Of course, ask them questions and help them to figure out how to voice their discomfort, but once they figure it out it will help you and the whining.

If they're just acting badly simply say 'I don't like how you're acting and I don't want to be around you when you act like this." Then walk away. As long as they're not being destructive, let them throw their crying fit. If they're being destructive it may be a good idea to take all the toys out of their room (at all times. Just have a seperate place for them that you can control them) and make them go in there. That way they can't destroy things or really make a huge mess. Also, they can't entertain themselves that way and they'll see that being sent to your room without toys to play with is a bad thing and it happens when they're acting a certain way.

And honestly, if they won't stop and listen to you at all a good thwack is sometimes in order. Not to leave marks, just to surprise. To shock. There is a reason you slap someone who is hysterical. That shock will calm them and a person after a mild shock is more likely to remember something. Only do this sometimes because it honestly loses something if you do it every single time. If you hit and it's over sometimes they'll reason that the punishment is minor so the risk of possibly getting what they want it worth it.

Good luck! Trust me, as a mother of two who works from home... yeah, I totally get it. Sometimes though you just have to give them a purpose!

missprincessgina

Trade your kids in for dogs!!! So much easier and enjoyable! LOL :drinker:

Elise1324

Spank that a**

my four (almost 5) yr old it doing the same thing

Xaspar

I used to calmly tell my children "I'm sorry, I don't speak whinese. When you speak in a volume that is appropriate AND a language that I DO understand, I will be happy to listen to you. Until then, you will get no further response." Then continue on my way doing what I was doing before the cranky voice, whining, needy assault.

Didn't take long for them to figure out I meant it.

campi_mama

I dont respond when my girls whine. Simple as that. I tell them that if they want me to help them then they need speak to me in a "normal" tone. It is actually quite funny as when I remind them of this it is like a switch that has been turned off and it instantly stops.

This. But it helps if you start early. I'm already starting this type of training with my 2 yr old. They do not get what they want if they can't ask for it without whining. My 4 yr old still tries, but a reminder usually takes care of it, or he goes to his room till he can act right.

campi_mama

I used to calmly tell my children "I'm sorry, I don't speak whinese. When you speak in a volume that is appropriate AND a language that I DO understand, I will be happy to listen to you. Until then, you will get no further response." Then continue on my way doing what I was doing before the cranky voice, whining, needy assault.

Didn't take long for them to figure out I meant it.

:flowerforyou:

DBiddle69

It's called the teribble twos....starts at two and ends at...... My oldesst will be 28 and the youngest is 25 and they are still doing it. When they stop I will let you know! :noway:

StephannieL

Honestly, the way I currently am handling it is to leave... leave the room and ignore it. Usually I just say "No. This is not a good reason to have a melt-down and I'm not going to listen to it." And yes... I roll my eyes as soon as I turn my back *LOL* I can't take it... so I leave, and once he realizes he's not getting whatever he stops. But for the love of gravy, why does everything need to start with this whining routine. Maybe I'm just expecting too much of a 6 year old and he'll outgrow it.

Or maybe it's payback for all the whining I can even remember doing as a child *LOL*

Damn you karma...

My two and a half year old pulls the same thing. Whining makes me crazy! Thankfully with him I just tell him that I can't understand him when he talks like that and walk away. Seems to work. He gets a firm talking to when he starts the "I want (whatever it is) RIGHT NOW!". That gets a very stern, "you DO NOT talk to Mommy that way". Again, thankfully he responds to that. Ooooohhhhh the attitudes of a 2 and half year old! Good luck!!!!

Four_Leaf_Clover

Ignoring is really hard (I have 4 kids 8 and under and they all do this from time to time, esp the 2 yo), but you can't let them get what they want (attention, etc.). We give them a warning to calm down or they will go to time out.
If they don't, we count - if I get to 3 - they go to time out.

What has also worked wonders is positive reinforcement. When they are behaving well - heap loads of praise on them.
We even have sticker charts for our 4 yr olds - they practically clamor to do things to get stickers! It has dramatically improved their manners and cooperation.

StephannieL

It's called the teribble twos....starts at two and ends at...... My oldesst will be 28 and the youngest is 25 and they are still doing it. When they stop I will let you know! :noway:

LMAO nice! Please do let's us know if/when it stops!

ilovedeadlifts

Spank that a**

I'd go with this. I always try to enforce a time-out first........but if that doesn't work, an *kitten* spanking usually does the trick

_SusieQ_

I have nothing to add except
:ohwell: :noway: :grumble: so

:flowerforyou: :blushing:

:huh:

odusgolp

I have nothing to add except
:ohwell: :noway: :grumble: so

:flowerforyou: :blushing:

:huh:

*LMAO*

I think my initial post is now AMAZING given my change of photo

76tech

Spank that a**

i tried that. just ended up with more kids.

wrong a** i guess.

mistigoodwin

. Parents try too hard to be friends with their kids.

^^^
Exactly this!!! I am learning this the hard way. My eight year old son is ridiculous at times!! I've always been too nice, let things slide too much and now at times he acts like he's the boss!! Hello your only 8! Seems mean, but I learned my lesson, and my 7 month old will grow up with a lot more strictness than my son did at a young age. You have to be the parent and sometimes it's harder on you than the the child, but a spankin usuallly fixes most problems. Wish I would've nip things in the butt sooner than I did! Would've saved myself a lot of frustration and stress. I'm not saying beat his butt all the time, but a swat here and there will make him realize he's not going to get away with it.

I have tried the ignoring, walking away, one more chance, timeout and now it's grounded in your room, no bike, no games, no tv and when the neighbor kids show up to play, they are sent home. I would say the BIGGEST thing is FOLLOW THROUGH!!!! When you say NO, it means NO, and don't give in!!

Good luck, kids can be hard to handle at times!

Cliffslosinit

Show him a picture of me and threaten to send to my house!:flowerforyou:

Just_One_Me

As a mother of five , I know that the best way to handle this is by ignoring it. DO Not pay attention to it. If he needs something he must settle down and ask for it when hes ready and his whining is over. Dont let it get to you. This kind of behavior should be corrected now because if you dont . it will go on longer. Dont hit him . he wants attention . Attention that shouldn't be given while whining. Also if your answer is NO to whatever the child is asking than STICK TO IT and dont give in . BEST THING .... IGNORE IT ! Hopefully your still sane when he grows out of this LOL !

suzyjahn

I think all (or at least most) kids go through stages like this. For my girls, this has happened at both 4 and 6 years of age. It can be incredibly annoying. For us, we just refused to talk with them when they were acting like that. I insist that they speak in a regular voice if we are going to talk with one another. If they don't stop freaking out, then they spend some time away (like on our stairs or in their room) until they are ready to talk nicely. It takes a lot of patience and always insisting that they don't speak in a whine. For us, consistency has been the key. When you give in or lose it yourself it just reinforces the bad behavior that you are hoping to eliminate. It is hard but worth it in the end. Best of luck to you! Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there!

Just_One_Me

Books I dont know but they do give free parenting classes in most cities I believe.

Just_One_Me

This ^^