Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

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  • know_your_worth
    know_your_worth Posts: 481 Member
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    I don't think it's a big deal. In your case, I think your wife over-reacted, especially if she was going to order something but didn't because you didn't. Sounds immature. And then to text about it while you are all at the same table? Rude. I would not have been happy if I was the daughter in that case. Why make such a big deal over something like like that? The focus should have been having a good conversation and enjoying each other's company, not getting angry about who's ordering and who's not.

    That being said, I'll go back to the original question.

    I've gone to restaurants with friends and just ordered an ice tea or something while they ate. If I'm not hungry and they want to go eat, I'm not going to waste my money and my calories on something that I don't want. Don't consider it rude at all. And if it is...who cares. It's an individuals choice. No rules against it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    :indifferent: yes it was rude, and i understand why your wife didnt order( its rude to eat infront of somone that isnt) and since i have also been in your shoes here my little tip for the next time it happens, order coffee or a pot of tea and mebbie some toast. sip the coffee/tea and pick at the toast
    So ... If I'm hungry and with someone who isn't, I'm rude if I eat even though the other person has the option to eat if he wants? But also, the person who isn't hungry is rude for not eating to make me feel better for eating?

    That makes sense. Absolutely.
  • know_your_worth
    know_your_worth Posts: 481 Member
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    I am very surprised at the amount of people that think this is rude.

    I'm also surprised so many people have suggested that you should have ordered a salad or something along those lines. I think its wasteful to order a salad or soup you have no intention of eating, just to have it thrown away so you can 'pretend' to eat.

    If you know you have a dinner planned with your family, why would you eat a late lunch and then shove popcorn into your mouth right before? This has less to do with losing weight than it does with poor planning.
    ^ You seem like such a lovely person. /sarcasm

    It's funny how some people can't debate something without getting all defensive and rude.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    It's funny how some people can't debate something without getting all defensive and rude.

    Or casting judgment upon someone's personality because they don't agree with you
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
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    I find it very uncomfortable to eat when somebody at the table isn't. My daughter had a friend that would do this frequently. I stopped taking her with us into restaurants. If she was there, I'd order take out and pick it up. It isn't necessarily rude, just uncomfortable to eat when everybody isn't eating.

    I've been in lunch meetings before where I was told to bring my lunch in because everybody would be uncomfortable if I ate beforehand and watched them eat.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
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    I am very surprised at the amount of people that think this is rude.

    I'm also surprised so many people have suggested that you should have ordered a salad or something along those lines. I think its wasteful to order a salad or soup you have no intention of eating, just to have it thrown away so you can 'pretend' to eat.

    If you know you have a dinner planned with your family, why would you eat a late lunch and then shove popcorn into your mouth right before? This has less to do with losing weight than it does with poor planning.

    Well - in the OP's defense - the wording of the original post implies that dinner wasn't actually planned, but instead something the daughter requested after the other festivities had already happened. Can't fault the guy for not saving room for a dinner he didn't know he was going to be at.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Well - in the OP's defense - the wording of the original post implies that dinner wasn't actually planned, but instead something the daughter requested after the other festivities had already happened. Can't fault the guy for not saving room for a dinner he didn't know he was going to be at.

    If that's the case, I take it back
  • ubuntufav
    ubuntufav Posts: 59
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    They are a business, and if you are sitting in a chair and not eating, you are costing them money. So it's not a nice thing to do to the restaurant. If you are in a big group it is not as bad, but with only three people and two adults not eating, that's kind of rude.

    Oh please. And what if there are many, many empty chairs available in the restaurant?

    I understand this argument ONLY if the restaurant is packed with little available seating but if there is tons of open space you aren't stealing business from the restaurant.

    Why should anyone be exempted from the celebration just because they aren't hungry?


    Yeah but the server gets screwed. If they didn't go there to sit then the server could have gotten a table who is hungry and will tip better. These guys only make 2 dollars an hour and in todays economy, they are barely making min wage in most restaurants. Also, many restaurants are going under so it's important to order something or something to go. They have to pay bills just like u do. Like someone else said, texting is rude as well. Also ordering from the bar and then going to a server's section and not ordering is rude as well. If you order from the bar, keep your tail at the bar unless u plan on ordering more drinks and food from the server.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    If you are the only one at the table, then it's rude, but if you are with a group, then they are still making money off your table, so that's no problem, I think. (I used to be a server and hated it when people sat down just for coffee.)
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Did OP ever explain why his wife didn't order?

    I find the only thing rude there was you two texting eachother? SMH.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
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    anyone who said this is rude, is crazy.
  • ZoeLifts
    ZoeLifts Posts: 10,347 Member
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    I never knew this was such a big deal for so many. I keep seeing this topic come up in my feed and really had no idea that so many had such strong feelings about someone not eating.

    I served tables in college and it never bothered me if there was one person not eating. Why force someone to eat? Isn't this what a lot of people say about eating back their calories, LOL!!? Is it different because it is a social situation?

    I, too, am curious why the wife didn't eat just because her husband didn't. I've never felt I shouldn't eat if someone else isn't hungry, so I don't understand that mindset. When I'm hungry, I am hungry!
  • ShelleyGardner
    ShelleyGardner Posts: 4
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    Listen to these stories and wonder why America is FAT!!!

    We don't allow people NOT to eat if they aren't hungry! (Now that, I find rude- when people feel they have to force you to eat or shove food in your face, rather than respect your wishes. I'd say you weren't being rude, but your wife certainly was!)

    Seriously, if the group is eating, and one person isn't, I respect that person for respecting their body. When I was a waitress, I didn't mind these people as long as they left a tip to respect my time for taking up a table. If only more people in America did this, maybe we wouldn't be fighting a national obesity problem.
  • MrsWonderland
    MrsWonderland Posts: 107 Member
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    I think thats sad that your wife made an issue of it. I think its sad that anyone would have a problem with it. My husband likes burger king and mcdonalds but I am trying to lose weight and everything they have is out of my range. I used to try what I thought would be healthest, but when I found out it wasnt I decided I couldnt eat there anymore, but if he wanted it I would go with him no problem. He feels guilty that I dont eat but doest get angry. He understands. And he knows I wont eat if I am not hungry.

    You had a good reason that you didnt want to eat. Any ways movie popcorn probly took the rest of your calorie goal for the day. It should of been ignored and every one should of just had a good time. She knows your on a diet and you were there to enjoy each others company not worry about who eats what or dont eat. Its all trivial.
  • determinedhealthy
    determinedhealthy Posts: 199 Member
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    Not rude. Your wife should have ordered something if she was hungry, what she did was immature. My husband and I do EVERYTHING together so since he doesn't like Japanese food when we go to Kobé it's just for me. Nothing rude about being social in a public place. Believe me they got enough $$ from my order those places aren't cheap. I would have left out the texting for your daughters sake.
  • travisseger
    travisseger Posts: 271 Member
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    Having an argument across the table with your wife via text message is rude, but choosing not to eat is fine. In this instance, I can see where your wife's refusal to eat may have made the situation awkward, but under normal circumstances, it's fine.

    I go out with the family and do not eat on occasion. My family likes certain restaurants where it is difficult for me to find something to eat that complies with my diet as a diabetic, but I'm not going to keep my wife and kids from going, I'm not going to not go and enjoy the time with them, and I'm not going to eat food that screw up my blood glucose just to keep appearances. So I'll go and order something to drink and tip the server as if I had eaten a normal meal. I don't see how that is rude at all.

    However, if I were your child, I'd be embarrassed that my parents acted like the two of you did. Seems to me, the only one with a legit gripe is her.
  • barleespringers
    barleespringers Posts: 61
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    If you are not hungry - then it's not rude. It's rude of people force their thoughts onto others!
  • PaBirdie1
    PaBirdie1 Posts: 9
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    I dont think its rude at all. I would think that forcing someone to order just for the sake of appearances is more rude.
  • wheresheidi
    wheresheidi Posts: 213
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    As long as somebody ordered & the waitress got a good tip, who cares.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
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    My wife and I had a big disagreement this weekend, and I wanted to know what you all thought... It was my daughters birthday on Saturday, so we made a fun day of it. We took her shopping, went out to lunch, took her and a friend to a movie, and then she wanted to go to a Japanese hibachi restaurant for dinner. Having had a late lunch, and some popcorn at the movie, I wasn't hungry, so when we got to the restaurant, I mentioned to my wife that I wasn't going to order anything.

    When the waitress came around to take our orders, the I told her that I wasn't going to eat, the kids ordered, and then my wife, giving me a dirty look, said she wasn't going to eat either. As we were sitting on opposite sides of the kids, several texts later, I found out that my wife thought that I was being incredibly rude, and that it "made people uncomfortable" if I went out to eat and didn't order.

    Personally, I didn't see the problem. I wanted to be able to enjoy seeing my daughter have her birthday dinner, and wasn't hungry. My wife told me that I should have ordered something small and just taken most of it home. Not only don't I agree with that in principle, but at this place there isn't really something small that you can order. Plus if I ordered it and didn't eat, wouldn't that make the people at the table and the cook and servers uncomfortable?

    Please give me your opinions. Especially since I'm dieting, why in the world would I eat if I wasn't hungry?

    Thanks!

    It's not rude. (And no I wouldn't order anything if I wasn't hungry either.) Why would this concern your wife? Who cares?!!

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