Is it rude to go to a restaurant and not eat?

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  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
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    My wife and I had a big disagreement this weekend, and I wanted to know what you all thought... It was my daughters birthday on Saturday, so we made a fun day of it. We took her shopping, went out to lunch, took her and a friend to a movie, and then she wanted to go to a Japanese hibachi restaurant for dinner. Having had a late lunch, and some popcorn at the movie, I wasn't hungry, so when we got to the restaurant, I mentioned to my wife that I wasn't going to order anything.

    When the waitress came around to take our orders, the I told her that I wasn't going to eat, the kids ordered, and then my wife, giving me a dirty look, said she wasn't going to eat either. As we were sitting on opposite sides of the kids, several texts later, I found out that my wife thought that I was being incredibly rude, and that it "made people uncomfortable" if I went out to eat and didn't order.

    Personally, I didn't see the problem. I wanted to be able to enjoy seeing my daughter have her birthday dinner, and wasn't hungry. My wife told me that I should have ordered something small and just taken most of it home. Not only don't I agree with that in principle, but at this place there isn't really something small that you can order. Plus if I ordered it and didn't eat, wouldn't that make the people at the table and the cook and servers uncomfortable?

    Please give me your opinions. Especially since I'm dieting, why in the world would I eat if I wasn't hungry?

    Thanks!

    It's not rude. (And no I wouldn't order anything if I wasn't hungry either.) Why would this concern your wife? Who cares?!!

    And for those that are commenting that it was rude to be texting his spouse in the middle of a birthday dinner. Ever try to ignore a text from your spouse (who is sitting across the table from you)?
  • StephanieEmpson
    StephanieEmpson Posts: 170
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    I did that just the other day, my mom called and invited me to Breakfast/Lunch. I had just sat down t eat the Salmon/broccoli omlete I made, so I joined them for the conversation and had a great time. No big deal.
  • ritoosh
    ritoosh Posts: 190
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    its not so rude under the circumstance that u had lunch and popcorn and the fact that u were gonna eat dinner too?!?!
    but i got to say it was rude of your wife to not order anything either and sit there and text you saying how its rude when she was doing something i find 10x worse.
  • mearlie
    mearlie Posts: 224
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    I think your wife has issues. She probably felt like if she ate and you didn't, that would make her look like a pig.

    I've been a server and you don't need to worry about making them uncomfortable by what you eat or don't eat. They don't care.

    Hit the nail on the head.

    Maybe you could have chit-chatted about it first instead of declaring your decision? Women like to think things through by talking about them, and she was probably more upset that she didn't have a chance to mull it over than anything.

    BUT you should know your own wife and if she's not dieting but is uncomfortable about her weight, then maybe you could have seen this coming? At a hibachi grill, I"m thinking you could have ordered a vegetarian option and taken the food home for later - would have been less expensive, yummy to add to something later, and allowed your wife to eat. Knowing her the way you do and all ~

    I do not think you were rude though and if your wife had more self-esteem I think she would have ordered and not cared what you were doing. Bless her heart.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
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    I think what you did is fine. If you're not hungry you don't have to eat, but at least order a drink because you are taking up space in the restaurant. However, it WAS extremely rude for you and your wife to be texting at the table. That is not acceptable. Unless it's a fast-casual restaurant, you should never have your phone out. Not only is it rude to your family, but to the other guests in the restaurant as well.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
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    Your wife was rude. You were not. It's okay to join someone for dinner and not eat. What were you supposed to do, stand outside?
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I think what you did is fine. If you're not hungry you don't have to eat, but at least order a drink because you are taking up space in the restaurant. However, it WAS extremely rude for you and your wife to be texting at the table. That is not acceptable. Unless it's a fast-casual restaurant, you should never have your phone out. Not only is it rude to your family, but to the other guests in the restaurant as well.

    Wait...

    Rude to the other guests in the restaurant as well?

    What if he was sitting all by himself and his phone was his only companion? Would it still be rude to the other guests as well? I don't get why people NOT at the table would be negatively effected by his texting.

    If the family does not consider texting at dinner rude, then it's not rude. This sort of behavior would depend on those at the table. I know manners should transcend all that but no... sometimes they don't. For example, if a family talks with food in their mouth and all members of the family is comfortable with this, it wouldn't necessarily be rude because no one would be uncomfortable.

    Rude behavior is behavior that makes those around you uncomfortable. Well, if no one is uncomfortable how is it rude?

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