What if your husband or wive wants to know...?

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  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    I think that is something that should have been discussed before marriage, but it wasn't and he's curious. Would it better a marriage? No.. Is it dishonest to lie to him since he asked.. Yes.

    Yes my husband knows, just as I know his estimated number. We are both aware of how we were before we got together.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    I think that is something that should have been discussed before marriage, but it wasn't and he's curious. Would it better a marriage? No.. Is it dishonest to lie to him since he asked.. Yes.

    Yes my husband knows, just as I know his estimated number. We are both aware of how we were before we got together.

    ^^^Agreed on both responses.
  • sizzle92
    sizzle92 Posts: 1,015 Member
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    This question would make him laugh. Hes knows I have no clue. Sounds bad but oh well. He's just happy he reaps the benefits of it. I have always loved sex.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    This question would make him laugh. Hes knows I have no clue. Sounds bad but oh well. He's just happy he reaps the benefits of it. I have always loved sex.

    Ahahha... hmm, yea, so what if someone doesn't know.. I mean many people dnt keep a little black book and keep tally marks. lol
  • frogz21
    frogz21 Posts: 314
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    No, I don't feel obligated. I don't think it necessarily matters.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    Well i will say that if a partner wants to know then the other being honest about it should be important, some may say little white lies may not hurt but if you truly want a healthy relationship you should answer honestly..

    No you asked about how does this help a marriage or make it better, well if you need to look for the answer i may say then you not know the true meaning of marriage... being honest and open about intimate things will improve your team you two are a team and looking to better yourselves its something you want and when one member of the team isn't honest or forthcoming or looking at it like working together the team bond is not as strong...

    And when you say you would lie anyways makes me wonder how important your marriage is if you have to lie....... not trying to cause issues but lying is a habit that once you do it , it becomes to easy to do it again.. telling the truth maybe harder to do but in the end its the RIGHT thing to do....

    I copied and pasted this from a Blog, i this is NOT about me. I am actually quite single. lol



    OHHHH, NOW I understand and maybe so does a lot of others. If you have ever been in a SERIOUS Relationship, something seemed to be MISSING in YOUR Scenario. You want us to supply the "situation" then answer your questions.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    Well i will say that if a partner wants to know then the other being honest about it should be important, some may say little white lies may not hurt but if you truly want a healthy relationship you should answer honestly..

    No you asked about how does this help a marriage or make it better, well if you need to look for the answer i may say then you not know the true meaning of marriage... being honest and open about intimate things will improve your team you two are a team and looking to better yourselves its something you want and when one member of the team isn't honest or forthcoming or looking at it like working together the team bond is not as strong...

    And when you say you would lie anyways makes me wonder how important your marriage is if you have to lie....... not trying to cause issues but lying is a habit that once you do it , it becomes to easy to do it again.. telling the truth maybe harder to do but in the end its the RIGHT thing to do....

    I copied and pasted this from a Blog, i this is NOT about me. I am actually quite single. lol



    OHHHH, NOW I understand and maybe so does a lot of others. If you have ever been in a SERIOUS Relationship, something seemed to be MISSING in YOUR Scenario. You want us to supply the "situation" then answer your questions.
    [/quote

    lol. yes.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    I personally don't think it matters. If you are with someone now and you both trust that you are monogamous (if that is what you have decided) then that is all that matters. We were all young and some of us did stupid stuff. Hopefully we have all grown up and learned from it.

    I would never ever ask my boyfriend his number, ever. One reason is I just don't want to know and two, what really would you do with that information? Would you dump him if you thought it was too high? And thankfully I have never once been asked either.

    ETA: I liked another response where the lady mentioned to find the underlying cause of the question (ie, how does she know this wild and kinky stuff)
  • Thatsdatdiva601
    Thatsdatdiva601 Posts: 209 Member
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    I asked my hubby on our 3rd date....we both gave a number...but I feel it really don't matter because ppls lie...the past the past!
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I always say it doesn't matter who he was with before me as long as there's no one after me.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    I personally don't think it matters. If you are with someone now and you both trust that you are monogamous (if that is what you have decided) then that is all that matters. We were all young and some of us did stupid stuff. Hopefully we have all grown up and learned from it.

    I would never ever ask my boyfriend his number, ever. One reason is I just don't want to know and two, what really would you do with that information? Would you dump him if you thought it was too high? And thankfully I have never once been asked either.

    ETA: I liked another response where the lady mentioned to find the underlying cause of the question (ie, how does she know this wild and kinky stuff)

    AGREED
  • Birdie
    Birdie Posts: 256 Member
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    What would be the point of being married if your with someone that you can't be 100% honest with?
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    If my husband asked me that question I would say 13248739845767326754653473, but you were the last one, honest. :flowerforyou:

    then I would laugh ON THE INSIDE...:huh:

    We both know that we love each-other and who really cares, It was before me/him, and hes 10 years older than me lol. We just talked about ti now and laughed. Its stupid and pointless- it could be 100 for all I care. hes mine now for the last 16 years...Im doing it right.:bigsmile: Im not insecure about it at all.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    I would believe this is probably a topic you want to have before having sex, let alone popping the question or saying 'i do'
    Along the same lines of knowing how a person feels about safe sex. Maybe it's when and where I grew up... or maybe sex was more of an extra curricular activity than something you did because of the whole L word. I would find it odd if any of my boyfriends after HS didn't ask me about any of it.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    People know this number? Lol. I lost count a long time ago. Wow. That would be hard to figure out. Lol. I'm not kidding. I have no idea. That's more like a question when you're 20.
  • lbmore33
    lbmore33 Posts: 1,013 Member
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    I haven't been in a single serious relationship where they didn't tell me. And if they didn't know the exact number, they told me what range they knew.

    I don't believe in secrets, so I wouldn't marry someone that wouldn't tell me.


    But you really dont know...now do you?
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    I haven't been in a single serious relationship where they didn't tell me. And if they didn't know the exact number, they told me what range they knew.

    I don't believe in secrets, so I wouldn't marry someone that wouldn't tell me.


    But you really dont know...now do you?

    EXACTLY:huh:
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
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    I was very up front about the number. Mostly because it's freaking low. My husband had a very dark youth. I don't want to know how many he's slept with. I'm content to know he doesn't have any STD's. We've been together for 8 years now, so this is really a non-issue with us. And back when we got together, I knew he wasn't a virgin.

    I think people who keep track are a bit creepy, especially if the number is large. And by large, I meant 30+. But that's my opinion on it. I understand that for some people, this is a really big concern. But honestly, if s/he loves you, and you know that currently you are the only person that's sleeping with him/her, why does it matter?
  • palmerig88
    palmerig88 Posts: 623 Member
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    I never asked my husband this question and won't because I don't care and it doesn't matter. When he asked me it was more him figuring it out out loud but I don't see any reason why I would have lied no matter the answer.
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
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    Would it "better" your marriage? I don't think so, no. It's surprising he never asked you before now. Not sure why he'd bother now... maybe he's just curious?

    That being said, I'd tell my husband something like this, in a heartbeat. I'm pretty much an open book.

    The past is in the past. If he cares for you enough to marry you, then I don't see how the number of partners really matters. Whether it's a small or large number, or a zero.

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