What if your husband or wive wants to know...?

DrMAvDPhD

Yeah, that was something my husband and I talked about before marriage. If not, and I asked now, I would still expect an answer.

_Bob_

My wife assumed it was a big number because of stories she heard. And for some reason she felt like she should tell me before we got married. but she never asked me until after we were married for a while. she was happy with my answer.

fcp1234

My husband never asked, and I never asked him..it dont matter..
But If he did ask, I would lie lol..yea its that bad:)

almarsala

Well i will say that if a partner wants to know then the other being honest about it should be important, some may say little white lies may not hurt but if you truly want a healthy relationship you should answer honestly..

No you asked about how does this help a marriage or make it better, well if you need to look for the answer i may say then you not know the true meaning of marriage... being honest and open about intimate things will improve your team you two are a team and looking to better yourselves its something you want and when one member of the team isn't honest or forthcoming or looking at it like working together the team bond is not as strong...

And when you say you would lie anyways makes me wonder how important your marriage is if you have to lie....... not trying to cause issues but lying is a habit that once you do it , it becomes to easy to do it again.. telling the truth maybe harder to do but in the end its the RIGHT thing to do....

this is the best thing I've ever read

PaleoRDH

Tell him 300. :smokin:

jenbit

lol No SO here so it doesnt really matter. I have no problem letting people know who many guess I've slept with and if a guy wants to know then I'll tell him. I really dont care one way or another. I wouldnt ask though cause like I said I dont care

homerjspartan

Wait till you been married 15 years..... now I ask her to tell me in detail and embellish as much as possible......

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I wouldn't be with a dude if he cared or was pushy about knowing. That said....

I freely talk about my older lovers with my husband and he freely talks about his old lovers.

ellenxmariex3

My boyfriend knows mine and I know his. It's not something that bothers us. But the numbers are low since we got together pretty young.

I think the only time it would matter is if one of the partners was a virgin. That would be something I'd want to know. Other than that, I don't care.

karynspeace

Happily married for 21 years and we never had that discussion. What happened in the past is what defines the present you. It is what got you to where you are now, which is with your husband/spouse/partner. What happened back then does not belong in your NOW.

Mr_Bad_Example

I wouldn't be with a dude if he cared or was pushy about knowing. That said....

I freely talk about my older lovers with my husband and he freely talks about his old lovers.

I wouldn't even call them 'lovers', per se... more like... old 'likers' who didn't know what they were doing.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I wouldn't be with a dude if he cared or was pushy about knowing. That said....

I freely talk about my older lovers with my husband and he freely talks about his old lovers.

I wouldn't even call them 'lovers', per se... more like... old 'likers' who didn't know what they were doing.

Truth.

SomeoneSomeplace

I'm not ashamed of how many people I've hooked up with I'd say it's an average number. I don't believe in hiding things from someone I'm dating. I don't want to date someone whose going to judge me for my past anyway, especially decisions about sex.

edge_dragoncaller

The problem with this whole topic, is that it is too subjective. To each person the discussion itself may or may not be important and to each individual the Number may or may not be acceptable... pretty easy to judge though if you get an idea of how jealous and/or possessive they naturally are. My wife and I have had this discussion and in the end we were about equal and this talk happened before we were married and it really changed nothing. We both had the "one-nighters" and the "serious" and the F-Buddy, so there was really no judgment.

My suggestion.... if you can tell your significant other is the possessive jealous type...avoid the subject...or lie.

Ruthe8

I think the only time it would matter is if one of the partners was a virgin. That would be something I'd want to know.

The situation in question is a spouse asking after 6 months of marriage. If your spouse is a virgin at that point I think there are some real issues.

LifestyleChange33

I have always told my Love that if he asks a question, I will answer it, but he better be sure he wants to know the answer. Or just get all coy and tell him he is the only one you can remember, and the only one you want (then pounce).

Positive_Thinker

What a waste of time...Life is too short for all that. :yawn:

summertime_girl

I want to know. Numbers too high make me a little queasy. And any additions to the number since we've been together will be a problem.

FabMrFox

lol he's just trying to see where he ranks and how big the field was

AmyFett

I don't see why it's an issue at all. As long as no one is diseased, why's it matter? I've been friends with my husband for 5 years before we dated, I knew he was a man *kitten*, but he wasn't a cheater or player. Just had sex a lot, and also wasn't stupid about it. However, I did make him get tested before we did anything.