The kiss of death!!!!!

Melissaf0925

I got the message while I was driving. Thank GOD I was at a stop light or I would have caused a wreck I was laughing so hard. I want a guy who can keep up with me and who can lift more than me. And yeah, they kinda have to have jacked up Crossfit hands.

oboeing

Bern, harvo is giving you a massage... how are his hands?

harvo

Morning all...

I feel the need to share this message keeping in the topic of massages. A guy I am talking to on a dating site offered me a massage after tough mudder and then said he was worried about me falling in love with him because the quality of his massages. After this message, I'm NOT too worried about that:

"Well you have not met me yet and I will say I have the softest hands you have ever felt on a man and a woman not even kidding lol my last relationship was with a woman that was a lesbian and she told me making love to me was like being with a woman because I took my time and I was passionate and sensual and my hands felt like a woman. I did not know if I should take that as a compliment or if I should question my sexuality lol"

WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO DATE A GUY WITH HANDS LIKE A WOMAN IF MINE ARE ALL JACKED UP FROM LIFTING WEIGHTS AND DOING PULL UPS?!?

(sniff, sniff) I have incredibly soft hands and when I worked at the ladies clothing store all the girls were envious. Words hurt you know.....

Harvo... you can be my exception to the rule as long as you promise to help by putting my stockings on me with the seams straight. :devil: I just can't seem to do it without runners with my knarly jacked up man hands.

Ummm, I cannot promise I will have the ability to put them on....my natural instinct is the other direction but I can tell you this, if I put them on the seam WILL be straight. I iron my undershirts and properly crease the sleaves on my french cuff shirts....

Melissaf0925

Morning all...

I feel the need to share this message keeping in the topic of massages. A guy I am talking to on a dating site offered me a massage after tough mudder and then said he was worried about me falling in love with him because the quality of his massages. After this message, I'm NOT too worried about that:

"Well you have not met me yet and I will say I have the softest hands you have ever felt on a man and a woman not even kidding lol my last relationship was with a woman that was a lesbian and she told me making love to me was like being with a woman because I took my time and I was passionate and sensual and my hands felt like a woman. I did not know if I should take that as a compliment or if I should question my sexuality lol"

WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO DATE A GUY WITH HANDS LIKE A WOMAN IF MINE ARE ALL JACKED UP FROM LIFTING WEIGHTS AND DOING PULL UPS?!?

(sniff, sniff) I have incredibly soft hands and when I worked at the ladies clothing store all the girls were envious. Words hurt you know.....

Harvo... you can be my exception to the rule as long as you promise to help by putting my stockings on me with the seams straight. :devil: I just can't seem to do it without runners with my knarly jacked up man hands.

Ummm, I cannot promise I will have the ability to put them on....my natural instinct is the other direction but I can tell you this, if I put them on the seam WILL be straight. I iron my undershirts and properly crease the sleaves on my french cuff shirts....

I have a whole pile of stuff you can iron... lol.

Bex2Bslim

OMG what a weirdo, why would he volunteer that information!!! :noway: I assume you've made your polite excuses to stop messaging him lol

BernadetteChurch

Bern, harvo is giving you a massage... how are his hands?

Well I haven't turned into a lesbian yet. What does that tell you?

harvo

Bern, harvo is giving you a massage... how are his hands?

Well I haven't turned into a lesbian yet. What does that tell you?

umm I need to know if you would like your head and feet massaged as well. (feet are last of course)

Tracey1147

I agree, rough hands running over your body is much better than soft. Also want him to be able to I keep up with me and who can lift me

oboeing

hell, i just want him to touch me and last for more than 2 minutes...

it's been a long time since i've actually had someone curl up with me and hold me and stroke my arm... but i'm all about the manly hands... i feel more safe....

Melissaf0925

OMG what a weirdo, why would he volunteer that information!!! :noway: I assume you've made your polite excuses to stop messaging him lol

In the eternal words of Ron Popeil "But WAIT!... There's MORE!!!!!!!"
http://hooli-adventuresindating.blogspot.com/

I'm still trying to figure out my "polite" excuses, cause "I'm sorry, I couldn't date a vegan, Buddist, beautician with a woman's hands with a straight face, let alone bring you to a crossfit event where all we discuss is our ****ed up hands and BACON" probably isn't that polite.

BernadetteChurch

I'm not sure I could date a vegan.

harvo

Guess I had better buy some sandpaper since this has taken a down hill slide for me... Makes me think back to the girl I had a crush on in high school that wanted a guy that would treat her right....Hello, I showed up at your house on your 16th birthday while you had mono to hand deliver 16 long stem red roses and took you to the nicest place to eat in the city for your dance and yet you chose the guys that did not work, would not take you any where and treated you and every other girl they dated poorly.....

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

harvo

I'm not sure I could date a vegan.

WOO HOO I am a Meat and taters kinda guy...although I really like to cook fish too

Melissaf0925

Guess I had better buy some sandpaper since this has taken a down hill slide for me... Makes me think back to the girl I had a crush on in high school that wanted a guy that would treat her right....Hello, I showed up at your house on your 16th birthday while you had mono to hand deliver 16 long stem red roses and took you to the nicest place to eat in the city for your dance and yet you chose the guys that did not work, would not take you any where and treated you and every other girl they dated poorly.....

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

I'd jump your bones based off the description of your closet. lol. I like a guy who doesn't dress like he is 12.

BernadetteChurch

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

Are you sure you're not a lesbian?

harvo

Guess I had better buy some sandpaper since this has taken a down hill slide for me... Makes me think back to the girl I had a crush on in high school that wanted a guy that would treat her right....Hello, I showed up at your house on your 16th birthday while you had mono to hand deliver 16 long stem red roses and took you to the nicest place to eat in the city for your dance and yet you chose the guys that did not work, would not take you any where and treated you and every other girl they dated poorly.....

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

I'd jump your bones based off the description of your closet. lol. I like a guy who doesn't dress like he is 12.

but I couldn't tough you with my hands...right? Honestly when I worked in the office daily I had enough clothes to have 5 shirts and pants at the cleaners each week and did not have to wear anything twice over a 3 week period and I HATE most standard colors for clothes. I have bright shirts and mostly Jerry Garicia ties that I love except from Thanksgiving to Christmas where I have mostly Grinch or anti Christmas ties. Each ties get worn once from the Monday after Thanksgiving until the day after Christmas. Yes I have close to 100 ties when all is said and done. :blushing:

harvo

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

Are you sure you're not a lesbian?

HMMM...not sure how to answer that..If I say I am can I start using the ladies dressing and shower rooms? :bigsmile:

Melissaf0925

Guess I had better buy some sandpaper since this has taken a down hill slide for me... Makes me think back to the girl I had a crush on in high school that wanted a guy that would treat her right....Hello, I showed up at your house on your 16th birthday while you had mono to hand deliver 16 long stem red roses and took you to the nicest place to eat in the city for your dance and yet you chose the guys that did not work, would not take you any where and treated you and every other girl they dated poorly.....

So, would it bother you ladies to know that my clothes are by dress slacks, dress shirts, casual pants, casual shirts, dress shorts and nice t-shirts. Within each category they are organized light to dark and that my 60+ ties are also grouped by color?

I'd jump your bones based off the description of your closet. lol. I like a guy who doesn't dress like he is 12.

but I couldn't tough you with my hands...right? Honestly when I worked in the office daily I had enough clothes to have 5 shirts and pants at the cleaners each week and did not have to wear anything twice over a 3 week period and I HATE most standard colors for clothes. I have bright shirts and mostly Jerry Garicia ties that I love except from Thanksgiving to Christmas where I have mostly Grinch or anti Christmas ties. Each ties get worn once from the Monday after Thanksgiving until the day after Christmas. Yes I have close to 100 ties when all is said and done. :blushing:

I already offered you a hand waiver. lol.

Bex2Bslim

Are you sure you're not a lesbian?

CLASSIC :laugh:

Tracey1147

I agree with Oboe, its a preference... and preferences change. (it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind)
I do like an organised wardrobe though