Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?
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The title says, 'Ladies..."I would tell you, but seeing as you're a religious man, I doubt it's something you would consider.
If you have something to contribute, then say it!0 -
Why on Earth are people posting these things to strangers? Want a better relationship with your signifigant other? COMMUNICATE WITH THEM! What someone else wants for their relationship isn't going to nessecarily be what someone else wants from theirs. The only way you're going to thrive in your relationship is to know exactly what you're doing right and wrong for/with your partner. TALK TO THEM! Stop asking complete strangers on a message board for advice.0
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Women posting that you expect your husband to open doors, tell you that you are pretty, help you with housework that YOU typically do..What do YOU do for your husbands to show THEM that you love them?
As a woman, I see this double standard. Women expecting lots of love and favors from their husband but apart from daily living, do nothing special for their man.
Mmmmmmmmhhh, let's see. I'm not saying there are no cases like you point out where women expect an awful lot for basically nothing in return BUT usually we are a little more in touch with our emotional side and more ready to express our feelings.
I would love for my boyfriend to have asked this question and read some of the answers here - especially since I would NOT appreciate if he asked me directly. I know it's a slightly screwed way of thinking, he is NOT psychic, but somehow when I tell him how to make me feel special it doesn't work anymore.
When I tell him it would be helpful to know if he even thinks I'm pretty and he did say it (not that there's much chance of that happening), then that would make me wonder if he's honestly thinking it or just saying it because I want/need to hear it, if that makes sense.
So I'd be thrilled if a random stranger on the internet told him to do it and I got the impression he saw it so acutely in a given moment that he actuall said it. Dpo you know what I mean?
In return for relying on my figuring out that there is probably a reason he's still around, he gets:
- An advent calendar every year with always something different (like 24 things I love about you / my favourite 24 times with you / 24 things we could do together in the coming year / a 72-piece-puzzle of a photo of me in lacy underwear and suspenders)
- a custom made board game including photos and all our favourite spots in the world for our five year anniversary (reaction: "umm, cool, can we go out now?")
- being told between 1 and 10 times a week something along the lines of he's hotter'n'hell (depending on how often I think it when there's no one else around to hear
- surprise him every once in a while with sexy new underwear / no underwear at all
- get him into bed (or wherever else is convenient) for a little fun during the day when we have a few minutes to spare
- lots of cuddles during the day and when watching TV
- "I love you" approximately 1-2 a year
- lots of attention
- winter clothes and shoes shopping (which he hates) for his daughter
- homework ad studying for class test with his daughter in a variety of subjects
- proofreading of his letters to parents etc. (he's a teacher)
...
Now, he does a lot of things for me, too. He used to give me very sweet, creative self-made gifts for Christmas. But attention-wise it's been a bit tough.
So, pj: Good job asking! Before you go ask your wife, as some have told you to, try a few of the other suggestions. Pay attention and you'll realize which ones she likes most! Good luck!0 -
Start by telling her you love her. Something simple and meaningful as that will make her happy already.
Show her you want to spend quality time with her. Living together is one thing, but bringing her on a nice date and having a beautiful conversation will let her know your attention's on her. Hang out. Just because you're husband and wife- doesn't mean you have to stop the romance. Surprise her. We may say we hate surprises, but it's the thought that counts. Sometimes it's embarrassing, but it's also a lot more flattering to us women. We just try to hide it.0 -
Women posting that you expect your husband to open doors, tell you that you are pretty, help you with housework that YOU typically do..What do YOU do for your husbands to show THEM that you love them?
As a woman, I see this double standard. Women expecting lots of love and favors from their husband but apart from daily living, do nothing special for their man.
Mmmmmmmmhhh, let's see. I'm not saying there are no cases like you point out where women expect an awful lot for basically nothing in return BUT usually we are a little more in touch with our emotional side and more ready to express our feelings.
I would love for my boyfriend to have asked this question and read some of the answers here - especially since I would NOT appreciate if he asked me directly. I know it's a slightly screwed way of thinking, he is NOT psychic, but somehow when I tell him how to make me feel special it doesn't work anymore.
When I tell him it would be helpful to know if he even thinks I'm pretty and he did say it (not that there's much chance of that happening), then that would make me wonder if he's honestly thinking it or just saying it because I want/need to hear it, if that makes sense.
So I'd be thrilled if a random stranger on the internet told him to do it and I got the impression he saw it so acutely in a given moment that he actuall said it. Dpo you know what I mean?
In return for relying on my figuring out that there is probably a reason he's still around, he gets:
- An advent calendar every year with always something different (like 24 things I love about you / my favourite 24 times with you / 24 things we could do together in the coming year / a 72-piece-puzzle of a photo of me in lacy underwear and suspenders)
- a custom made board game including photos and all our favourite spots in the world for our five year anniversary (reaction: "umm, cool, can we go out now?")
- being told between 1 and 10 times a week something along the lines of he's hotter'n'hell (depending on how often I think it when there's no one else around to hear
- surprise him every once in a while with sexy new underwear / no underwear at all
- get him into bed (or wherever else is convenient) for a little fun during the day when we have a few minutes to spare
- lots of cuddles during the day and when watching TV
- "I love you" approximately 1-2 a year
- lots of attention
- winter clothes and shoes shopping (which he hates) for his daughter
- homework ad studying for class test with his daughter in a variety of subjects
- proofreading of his letters to parents etc. (he's a teacher)
...
Now, he does a lot of things for me, too. He used to give me very sweet, creative self-made gifts for Christmas. But attention-wise it's been a bit tough.
So, pj: Good job asking! Before you go ask your wife, as some have told you to, try a few of the other suggestions. Pay attention and you'll realize which ones she likes most! Good luck!
Thank you so much for understanding my reason for asking "the internet" how to show my wife I love her better. And I asked the question, not because me and my wife's marriage is in danger, but so I can do a BETTER job of being a husband. I got some really great advice that I just cannot wait to do with my wife. So thank you everyone and --> HUSBANDS, READ THE POSTS AND TREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE THE QUEEN THAT SHE IS.0 -
Huh. This thread has a half-life like whoa.0
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Buy the book 5 love languages
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Love her the way she need to be loved. There is no one size fit all here. For me Acts of Service is my love language.........for my bf is it physical touch. If I love him the way I want to be loved....it won't work because we do not speak the same love language.
this book saved my marriage! Flippin awesome how people are so different when it comes to "HOW" to show your love and "HOW YOUR WAY" might not be there way. It really tends to get you to understand some people like flowers, some like physical, others compliments, some gifts and some just like actions.....cool stuff.0 -
Eat the sammiches.
drink the cool aid0 -
I like to be cuddled, so whenever my hubby knows he has neglected me. He tells me to stop whatever I am doing (within reason) and come and lay down on the couch so he can cuddle. Or, he helps with the house work. Sometimes he just brings me flowers. We try to keep that part of our lives up to date,as best we can.0
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For a few minutes in the morning, early evening and bed time put your total attention on her. Ask her how her day way, and then listen. Make comments as needed or asked, but keep your attention focused on her. Tell her occasionally that you appreciate things that she does for you and the family. Give her a compliment on something... "great dinner", "Mmmm nice fluffy towel", "you look great" etc. Let her know that you notice her and the things she does. Make her a cup of coffee/tea and sit with her while she enjoys it. You don't have to do anything big or outlandish, give her a back rub, put her feet in your lap and massage them while you watch tv, give her a kiss and tell her that you love her before you both go to sleep.
I am very lucky to have a guy that does stuff like that for me every day. I get told a minimum of 3 times a day that he loves me. It makes me feel loved and cherished.0 -
I posted earlier about using the 5 Love Languages book, but I have to post again and say suggest going to a Marriage Seminar. My husband and I went to one this past weekend (first time in 10 years of marriage). Our relationship was not and is not in 'trouble', but it was such a wonderful and eye opening experience. My husband's exact words "Just because you have a great car, doesn't mean you shouldn't bring it in for tune ups every now and then" ;-P0
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I posted earlier about using the 5 Love Languages book, but I have to post again and say suggest going to a Marriage Seminar. My husband and I went to one this past weekend (first time in 10 years of marriage). Our relationship was not and is not in 'trouble', but it was such a wonderful and eye opening experience. My husband's exact words "Just because you have a great car, doesn't mean you shouldn't bring it in for tune ups every now and then" ;-P
that's great0 -
Has anyone on this site been to a Love and Respect conferance with Emerson & Sarah Eggerich?
I've not been, but I have seen the video....seriously eye opening as well.
http://loveandrespect.com/0 -
Let me just start by saying I'm loving this forum post.
Good for you for asking for help!
A woman just wants to be appreciated and loved. By doing little things to show that you care everyday, you could never fall short of pleasing her.
You may not realize that your'e neglecting your wife because in your eyes, shes perfect. But trust me, us women need to be reminded of this. We are very very fragile, and we need reassurance from the ones that we love that we are being the women that we can be. We love to please you, so knowing that what we do for you is appreciated means everything.
Buy your wife some flowers just because. Or show up to take her out to lunch just because. Tell her she looks beautiful today. Buy her a new piece of jewelry and make sure that it means something. Start a charm bracelet for her to celebrate each milestone of your life together.0 -
My husband does things to help me at the house and with the baby to help with my stress levels. He also tells me that he loves me and that I'm beautiful because he knows I have self esteem issues. I acknowledge as much as possible that I appreciate everything he does because I know he's a good man, husband, and father.
I know this is going to sound corny, but honestly, he doesn't have to "show" me he loves me...I know he does when I look in his eyes. There's something about the way he looks at me-I KNOW he loves me.0 -
Well, from a Christian point of view: The bible does state to be of service to our fellow man (or woman). So helping around the house may not sound gooey and romantic, but it'll show her that you appreciate her hard work and that you are trying to lighten the load for her. Whether she's a stay-at-home mom or a career woman, she will definitely appreciate the help. If the load is taken 50/50 then the extra time she has, she'll want to spend with you.
From a woman's point of view, don't forget the woo-ey things. Flowers, gifts, chocolate-covered strawberries (unless she's watching her weight!!), but even just reminding her how lucky you feel that she married YOU - this can be done with words, or even a $2.99 card from Walgreens....believe me!!
Ps, saying that you feel fortunate for her to have married you doesn't mean you are insecure, it means that you appreciate the wonderful woman that God put on your path to accompany you on your journey.
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It really depends on your wife! Have you read "The 5 Love Languages" book? (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) The basic premise is that each person has a specific love language (or sometimes two) that speaks more strongly to them than the others. Some people feel loved by hearing words of affirmation, some people feel loved by receiving physical touches (both sexual and nonsexual), some people feel loved by spending time with them, others by acts of service (like doing the laundry or dishes, etc.) and lastly some people feel most loved when they receive gifts (typically gifts that really mean something.) I would highly recommend learning your wife's love language and then what you do will have a much greater impact on her!
BTW, kudos to you for caring enough to ask! Wishing you all the best!0 -
1. Do the dishes
2. Put the seat down and do not pee on it.
3. Agree, does not matter if you don't.
4. See attractive woman on street, make critism about her to the wife.
Thats a starter program
Good start!
Also, tell her how you feel, every day. Listen to her. Do things for her . (anything from chores to making her a sandwich or cup of coffee how she likes it.0 -
Guess I should've read all the posts. Looks like someone else already posted about the love languages . . . ah well, great minds, huh?!
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The bible states that men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This is a tremendous calling for all men who claim to be Christian husbands. Without disclosing specifics, let me just say that, I try my best but sometimes I neglect my wife and fall short of her expectations. So instead of me guessing and falling short, what can I do to continuously affirm to my wife that I love her? What would you want most from your husband? Any suggestions?
1. Treat her the way you want to be treated.
2. Tell her you realize you could do better--acknowledging you know that you are falling short is very helpful.
3. Tell her she's beautiful, that you are lucky to have her, and that you love her.0
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