Dressing revealing & Self Respect

ashesfromfire

Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?

DamnImASexyBitch

People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.

kaylaandthestarcatcher

People talk all the time about how people should be comfortable with their bodies and stuff, and then they turn around and shame people for showing too much of their bodies. It's silly. Respecting yourself had nothing to do with the way you dress yourself.

katamus

OP, I agree with you. I also feel that ACTING a certain way shows more of one's self-respect than how they dress. I can wear a slinky dress and sit at a bar, or I can wear a slinky dress and sit ON the bar. There's a difference.

But people judge other people, and that's not going to change.

MrDelts

If you got it, flaunt it.. Self Respect is in the eye of the beholder..

Arexxx

People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.

Exactly!

To be honest, I was a bit judgmental a few years ago. I was uncomfortable with women dressing provocatively, but then I realised it was just because I was uncomfortable with myself.

Now that I'm more comfortable in my own skin, I don't care what people wear. It's what they say and do that matters.

Edit- Although I'll never understand girls my age who wear dresses so short you can see their vagina :noway:

gmallan

I work hard to get in shape and when I'm there I want to show it off. With a few limitations. I think it's imprtant to pick your time and place (the club or beach not the office). Pick your favourite asset and flaunt it: you want to look fab, fit and classy not trashy. There IS such a thing as showing too much skin (this coming from someone who owns some pretty short mini dresses). Clevage OR legs it's just like the makeup rule that you emphasise lips or eyes

DamnImASexyBitch

Although I'll never understand girls my age who wear dresses so short you can see their vagina :noway:

Leave alittle something to the imagination...lol

zenchild

There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.

It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.

And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.

reasnableblonde

If all you do is show off your "goods," you can't complain when that's all people think you're good for. I think there are super classy ways to show off how hard you work that don't involve dressing like a nun, either. It's all about flattering lines and confidence.

giggitygoo

I don't like to wear revealing clothes. I think some things should be reserved only for my partner. Skinny jeans and a push-up bra is about as scandalous as it gets for me. It's not about body shaming, religious beliefs or social stigma - just a personal preference.

To me a conservatively dressed, confident woman in well-fitting clothes is much sexier than someone in a tiny outfit.

jennismagic

There's a time and a place for everything, and people need to learn the difference. You don't have to flaunt what you have all the just because you have it. You don't have to button it up all the time just because someone thinks you should. You just have to know when, where, and what to wear at the right times.

People who dress for attention are usually compensating for something, and I'm not just referring to women who like to show their bodies. Personally, I think dressing like you take yourself seriously is the best way to go, but that doesn't mean you have to stock up on nylons and knee-length skirts. Conversely, if you dress in a way that will draw the ire of others, you shouldn't dare complain. You went out looking like that, knowing that our culture sees that style of dress in a certain way.

On a personal note, tank tops, decent shorts, and swimwear notwithstanding, I think women are the most attractive when they don't have everything out on display. That's just me. It tells me those women take themselves seriously, but still know how to show off what they have without getting trashy with it. A little skin is okay, but to be practically naked (I don't know which you're referring to, OP) is ridiculous. To be fair, I've seen getups that aren't remotely revealing, but are trashy all the same.

VorJoshigan

Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?

I think this is too much either/or. Some people cover up because they are ashamed of their body, but I think other people wear revealing clothing because they don't think they have anything else to offer.

Conversely, some people cover up because are very private or various other non-negative reasons, and some people wear "revealing" clothing because they are proud of their body and want to show off their hard work, etc.

Qarol

My thoughts? I like you...

ShreddedTweet

Happy people don't go around giving a damn about what other people wear one way or the other! Wear a bikini or a blanket, if you're not hurting anyone I don't care!

ashesfromfire

My thoughts? I like you...

Well shucks :blushing:

oregonzoo

Happy people don't go around giving a damn about what other people wear one way or the other! Wear a bikini or a blanket, if you're not hurting anyone I don't care!

That's well put.

ShreddedTweet

Happy people don't go around giving a damn about what other people wear one way or the other! Wear a bikini or a blanket, if you're not hurting anyone I don't care!

That's well put.

Thanks Gonzo *not sure if that's sarcasm....but it's 2am here and I'm sleepy so my sentence structure might have been dodgy!

Sarah_Wins

Happy people don't go around giving a damn about what other people wear one way or the other! Wear a bikini or a blanket, if you're not hurting anyone I don't care!

I KNEW that was you in the window! Dirty little Tweet.

jehuster

There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.

It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.

And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.

^^^^This^^^^

ShreddedTweet

Happy people don't go around giving a damn about what other people wear one way or the other! Wear a bikini or a blanket, if you're not hurting anyone I don't care!

I KNEW that was you in the window! Dirty little Tweet.

Ha! Yes indeed, my night vision goggles broke!

magj0y

I think women should dress in a manner that is comfortable to them.
Not judge others for the clothes they chose to wear
and support each other as women instead of tearing each other down

over something as trivial as clothes.
If it doesn't directly affect you, don't worry about it, don't judge it, just deal with what directly affects your daily life.
If you don't like their avatar, block them and you'll never see it again. simple!

littlehedgy

I don't like to wear revealing clothes. I think some things should be reserved only for my partner. Skinny jeans and a push-up bra is about as scandalous as it gets for me. It's not about body shaming, religious beliefs or social stigma - just a personal preference.

To me a conservatively dressed, confident woman in well-fitting clothes is much sexier than someone in a tiny outfit.

I have always been fascinated by this idea. Genuinely interested, not being a brat haha. I have been a dancer for so long that I am used to using my body as a means of expression and a way to share my thoughts feelings and beliefs with others. To me bodies are beautiful and interesting things to be shared.

Do you feel it disrespectful to your partner to reveal some of your body to others? Or do you just prefer that he/she be the only one to see you?

onedayillbeamilf

I don't think the way someone dresses has anything to do with self respect. It's about what they feel good in. When I was very thin I didn't wear revealing clothes at all. But I didn't have self respect either. The two don't always go hand in hand.

Cassie8877

I think women should dress in a manner that is comfortable to them.
Not judge others for the clothes they chose to wear
and support each other as women instead of tearing each other down

over something as trivial as clothes.
If it doesn't directly affect you, don't worry about it, don't judge it, just deal with what directly affects your daily life.
If you don't like their avatar, block them and you'll never see it again. simple!

^^^ like that

sharleengc

Before I started losing weight, I covered up more, not necessarily because I didn't want to show anything but because a lot of the "revealing" clothes were tight and I wasn't comfortable in tight clothes.

Now, that I weigh less, I am more comfortable in formfitting/tighter clothes and in some ways, that goes along with more revealing.

I think it's all about what makes you comfortable and other people shouldn't matter.

I also have a hard time worrying about what other people thing, mostly because I still have a hard time mentally recognizing that I am not as big as I used to be. When I weighed more, I was always worried about what people would think of what I wore...that's kind of a tough mindset for me to shake even though it's not really an issue anymore.

AZKristi

I don't think its necessarily about self respect...

I think more that if you put too much out there, you may suddenly find that other people are focusing too much on what is right in front of them (tits and *kitten*) rather than how smart or kind you are. I'm not saying it is right or fair - just that it is. If you are OK with it - dress to make yourself happy. Just don't get mad when someone looks

Litlbeast

If you got it, flaunt it.. Self Respect is in the eye of the beholder..

:frown:

Arexxx

Just don't get mad when someone looks

Kinda like when girls show epic cleavage, not that there's a problem with that , but get angry when people sneak a peak or two.

ashesfromfire

A continuation on the thought:
I dress for ME and occasionally for my beau. People are going to look and judge no matter what I put myself in. I deserve, just like every one else, to feel sexy. To put it in non-clothing context, I dyed my hair bright red, the next day a slightly older gentleman I worked with exclaimed, "Why did you do that!?" I promptly responded that it makes me feel sexy. Do I care that he doesn't like it? nope. I just waned peoples thoughts on how personal appearance and self respect intertwine.

thelovelyLIZ

I have yet to see any correlation between amount of skin shown and self respect or self worth.