Dressing revealing & Self Respect

JewelsinBigD

If all you do is show off your "goods," you can't complain when that's all people think you're good for. I think there are super classy ways to show off how hard you work that don't involve dressing like a nun, either. It's all about flattering lines and confidence.

I completely agree with you. Nicely said.

slackerwoman

People who are uncomfortable with themselves will project their feelings onto others. They don't feel comfortable showing any skin, therefore anyone who does is every negative association they can think of. Oh she is showing too much leg. She must be a *kitten*. Ohhh she put her cleavege on display. She must be offering something. It's the same archaic attitude that rapists use to justify their behavior. Oh she dressed like she wanted it.

totally agree

JewelsinBigD

Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous

The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.

RobinvdM

If you are clothes are geared for getting attention from the people around you (the more revealing the more attention) then ya - loads of self respect issues there. I personally am looking forward to being skinny enough to wear a hot dress so my hubby won't take me out to dinner in it *wink wink*

BinaryPulsar

It doesn't bother me at all if other people wear revealing clothing within the proper context. I have often personally struggled with a deep physical modesty, actually since I was a young child from being abused. It became very difficult for me to show my body (and I would wear baggy clothing). I would not wear shorts, short skirts, tank tops, (sometimes it was difficult to even show my feet at certain times), I almost stopped wearing bathing suits at times (but opted for wearing shorts with it and now a short skirt because I am getting better). I feel a lot of anxiety when I wear revealing clothing. So, when I see statements about modesty I sometimes feel like maybe it's not so bad that I struggle with this modesty issue (these issues run deep). It never occurred to me that it was actually insulting other women (and I will think about that now and not say anything like that). I've been lifting weights and feeling good about having muscles, so feeling like I would like to show them more, so it's helping me a lot (seeing people show their muscles on mfp). I've always tried to push myself on this issue past my comfort zones. As a dancer I have had to wear costumes, but the anxiety that I would feel before finding out the costume was unbearable at times. My friends dressed in fun ways, so that helped and didn't help (kind of depends on the circumstances and how I was feeling and how willing I was to seek support from them), the college I went to was small and close-knit. I agree that it is very problematic when people call women names and say their clothing causes rape. I wish that I had felt better about myself when I was younger (but I guess this is a very common issue for women). And I think part of self-respect is not being too hard on ourselves for having difficulties with certain things.

OP, thanks for sharing this. I really liked what you wrote about how you feel about your body. You are very beautiful! And it's encouraging and inspiring to read what you wrote. I am really working on this right now (it's been a life long issue). Sorry, I sound cheesy. This is a good topic.

Katanthus

There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.

It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.

And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.

Very well said.

RobinvdM

Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous

The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.

A startling fact. Lots of topless sunbathers on the public beaches of Holland. Not all of them are guys! There is no self respect issues - just tan line concerns :laugh: It was startling for me as a newcomer to the NL many moons ago cause you just dont HAVE that here in the US! I am positive there are many similar instances worldwide where youll find beaches laden with topless men and women. The US folks have a different mindset about it. Nothing tragic or awful. Just a different culture

JewelsinBigD

If you got it, flaunt it.. Self Respect is in the eye of the beholder..

No - it is not. It is called "self" respect because it has to do with "self". How you present your "self" to the world is a reflection of how you feel about your "self".

FindingFit127

(IMG)http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg(/IMG)

http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg

UGH how come my pic isn't working

Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion!

Just trying to get my pic to work lol

k i give up!

Hellbent_Heidi

http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg

UGH how come my pic isn't working

Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion!

Just trying to get my pic to work lol

k i give up!

you're using parenthesis (and CAPS) instead of the square brackets and lowercase for the IMG

fbmandy55

It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can.

I agree to an extent, but being classy can mean one thing to one person and one thing to another. In Europe, women can wear much less and show much more skin and they are still seen as classy, compared to Americans.

I'm with the OP. If I feel good in what I'm wearing then that's all that matters to me. If I had a hot body, I'd barely have my nipples covered in public.

fbmandy55

Should work now...

fbmandy55

Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous

The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.

Not quite. Nudity is very commonly accepted in Europe. Most of the worlds greatest art treasures were.are nude paintings!

It's an American thing. I shot of side-boob will kill ya but blowing someone up or taking a blowtorch to their skin is perfectly acceptable to be seen.

magj0y

I was just thinking about this this morning while I was running. I wore a t-shirt and spandex short shorts. I got a lot of looks from the gusy on the construction site I ran by. Now, some people would call me slutty, or say I'm looking for attention, or possibly that I have no self respect. Well, I have plently of self respect. I know that I have a good body, and I don't mind if other people enjoy it. Now if they try and touch, that's another story. That's where the self respect comes in. But me running in booty shorts at 6 a.m., I see that as a public service to the community. I'm just helping the construction workers have a good start to their Monday morning.

You are such a sweet and kind person! I'm sure they're all dreading cold weather!

Growtinymusclesgrow

There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.

It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.

And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.

This is where it all starts. Why do we need to be the clothes police? Who put those select few in charge of what is okay to wear at waffle house compared to a nicer restaurant? If someone is walking down the street or sitting in a nice restaurant wearing a business suit or a g-string and bra...who cares. Does that persons choice in clothing affect my life at all. Oh sure it does if I am being judgmental. I live in Honolulu and being that is it always sunny and hot here...I have seen it all. Even if my kids are with me, I try NOT to pass judgment...it is not my place to judge another regardless of my personal opinions. Hell, I wear a big ole sweatshirt to the gym everyday and I know people whisper behind my back about that. At the end of the day, the saying "different strokes for different folks" plays well for this topic. Wear what you like and all of us should practice restraint when passing judgment onto others. Now to step off my soap box...

dizzydi1968

I'm a highly intelligent, well qualified professional.
I know how to dress and act appropriately

However, I've worked damn hard for these curves
If I choose to show them off, I dont give a flying f**k what anyone else thinks.

bahacca

I loved wearing midriff bearing tops in college. First of all, I lived in AZ, so it was damn HOT. Second, I had a tight stomach, so why shouldn't I show it off? I had no boobs, so it wasn't like showing cleavage was an option!LOL
Self respect has nothing to do with clothing. From the people I've known, it is the people with the most confidence who take care of their bodies and themselves who wear provacative clothing and people who are unsure of themselves who almost use clothing as a way to hide from the world.

Growtinymusclesgrow

Everyone's entitled to dress how they would like. I'd prefer not to see the vulva of every "self-respecting woman" who wants to show it but hey can't control the masses.

However, if you walk out ur house dressed like a 20 dollar hooker on sale for 10 don't get too upset by the judgments. K? Great!

^^Nice shoes...just sayin'

wewon

Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?

Interesting topic. I actually thought about it a lot before posting since I'm a guy and can quickly be thrown into the "oppressive puritan" camp with one opinion or the "horny frat boy" camp with the other.

I think it comes down to how you define self-respect as well as the motives of the women dressing.

If someone is pandering, manipulating others, seeking approval, or otherwise desperately trying to define themselves based on other people, then the behavior seems to fly in the face of treating oneself with respect. This isn't just regarding the woman with the form fitting clothes, the tight t-shirt with no bra or the plunging neck line. This could be applied to the guy that spends tons of money to get a date to like him, the brown nosing employee or the girl that puts out hoping for a boyfriend.

However, if you're behavior is truly independent of gaining the approval of others, then your self respect is in tact.

wewon

Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous

See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.

Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.

If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?