Dressing revealing & Self Respect
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It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can.
I agree to an extent, but being classy can mean one thing to one person and one thing to another. In Europe, women can wear much less and show much more skin and they are still seen as classy, compared to Americans.
I'm with the OP. If I feel good in what I'm wearing then that's all that matters to me. If I had a hot body, I'd barely have my nipples covered in public.0 -
Should work now...0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.
Not quite. Nudity is very commonly accepted in Europe. Most of the worlds greatest art treasures were.are nude paintings!
It's an American thing. I shot of side-boob will kill ya but blowing someone up or taking a blowtorch to their skin is perfectly acceptable to be seen.0 -
I was just thinking about this this morning while I was running. I wore a t-shirt and spandex short shorts. I got a lot of looks from the gusy on the construction site I ran by. Now, some people would call me slutty, or say I'm looking for attention, or possibly that I have no self respect. Well, I have plently of self respect. I know that I have a good body, and I don't mind if other people enjoy it. Now if they try and touch, that's another story. That's where the self respect comes in. But me running in booty shorts at 6 a.m., I see that as a public service to the community. I'm just helping the construction workers have a good start to their Monday morning.
You are such a sweet and kind person! I'm sure they're all dreading cold weather!0 -
There is also a time and a place for everything. You need to show respect for the situation and for the people around you. If you are going to go to a nice restaurant with your family, it is disrespectful to wear a crop top and booty shorts. I don't care how much you respect yourself. If you're hanging out with your friends at Waffle House, feel free to have your *kitten* hanging out of your shorts.
It is entirely possible to dress nicely and still look sexy. It's called being classy. It's something most teens haven't figured out. They seem to think that the only way to be sexy it to show as much skin as they legally can. A woman knows it's better to leave something to the imagination. If my dress shows cleavage, it will have a longer hem. If it comes up to my neck, it will be slit up to the thigh. Show off one or two bits and make them wonder about the rest. Show them everything and there's no mystery.
And there's the way you carry yourself. Having quiet confidence in yourself goes a long way. It's not being loud and obnoxious and trying to get attention. It's having your head up, shoulders back and KNOWING you look great. I have a few favorite outfits that make me feel sexy. Blood red tank top, jeans and Doc Martens. Black sweater, jeans and knee high heeled boots. Gray sweater, jeans and grey suede booties. (I love jeans.) I wear one of those, I feel fantastic and I get more looks. My husband stays closer and stands taller (not in a jealous or possessive way, in a proud way). None of those things shows anything. Nothing hanging out. The tops are slightly fitted, jeans are a regular bootcut. The clothes just make me feel good so I have my head up and a tiny bit of a strut to my walk. THAT's what gets attention.
This is where it all starts. Why do we need to be the clothes police? Who put those select few in charge of what is okay to wear at waffle house compared to a nicer restaurant? If someone is walking down the street or sitting in a nice restaurant wearing a business suit or a g-string and bra...who cares. Does that persons choice in clothing affect my life at all. Oh sure it does if I am being judgmental. I live in Honolulu and being that is it always sunny and hot here...I have seen it all. Even if my kids are with me, I try NOT to pass judgment...it is not my place to judge another regardless of my personal opinions. Hell, I wear a big ole sweatshirt to the gym everyday and I know people whisper behind my back about that. At the end of the day, the saying "different strokes for different folks" plays well for this topic. Wear what you like and all of us should practice restraint when passing judgment onto others. Now to step off my soap box...0 -
I'm a highly intelligent, well qualified professional.
I know how to dress and act appropriately
However, I've worked damn hard for these curves
If I choose to show them off, I dont give a flying f**k what anyone else thinks.0 -
I loved wearing midriff bearing tops in college. First of all, I lived in AZ, so it was damn HOT. Second, I had a tight stomach, so why shouldn't I show it off? I had no boobs, so it wasn't like showing cleavage was an option!LOL
Self respect has nothing to do with clothing. From the people I've known, it is the people with the most confidence who take care of their bodies and themselves who wear provacative clothing and people who are unsure of themselves who almost use clothing as a way to hide from the world.0 -
Everyone's entitled to dress how they would like. I'd prefer not to see the vulva of every "self-respecting woman" who wants to show it but hey can't control the masses.
However, if you walk out ur house dressed like a 20 dollar hooker on sale for 10 don't get too upset by the judgments. K? Great!
^^Nice shoes...just sayin'0 -
Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately - I've heard some variation of this hundreds of times in my life, that covering up shows respect for yourself. I firmly don't believe that for a second. I love my body and my sexuality and I like the way I dress. I'm not even sure I understand the argument being made in that statement, to cover up and show some self respect, are the two really intertwined? Ladies, thoughts? Men, opinions?
Interesting topic. I actually thought about it a lot before posting since I'm a guy and can quickly be thrown into the "oppressive puritan" camp with one opinion or the "horny frat boy" camp with the other.
I think it comes down to how you define self-respect as well as the motives of the women dressing.
If someone is pandering, manipulating others, seeking approval, or otherwise desperately trying to define themselves based on other people, then the behavior seems to fly in the face of treating oneself with respect. This isn't just regarding the woman with the form fitting clothes, the tight t-shirt with no bra or the plunging neck line. This could be applied to the guy that spends tons of money to get a date to like him, the brown nosing employee or the girl that puts out hoping for a boyfriend.
However, if you're behavior is truly independent of gaining the approval of others, then your self respect is in tact.0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.
Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.
If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?0 -
:laugh: Absolutely!!If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?
Not to mention we're a far cry from conservative when compared to some middle eastern countries where showing a little leg can be cause to be drowned in the family swimming pool!0 -
The statement that goes something like "if you dress like that you shouldn't complain about people thinking that's all they are good for" is quite quite disturbing and in fact makes me sick and angry.
Now I dress pretty modest ususally but that statement and the fact WOMEN typed it agree with it...... just wrong.
I suppose if a woman in tight clothes get assulted she was just "asking for it?"0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
The only people who walk around half naked are those that live in poor countries that cannot afford clothes. The people in most countries try to "dress" with class. You can be sophisticated and sexy without dressing half naked.
A startling fact. Lots of topless sunbathers on the public beaches of Holland. Not all of them are guys! There is no self respect issues - just tan line concerns :laugh: It was startling for me as a newcomer to the NL many moons ago cause you just dont HAVE that here in the US! I am positive there are many similar instances worldwide where youll find beaches laden with topless men and women. The US folks have a different mindset about it. Nothing tragic or awful. Just a different culture
THANK YOU! I love being picked apart and crapped on by people who don't know what they're talking about (the girl above you). Thank you for validating my point!0 -
The statement that goes something like "if you dress like that you shouldn't complain about people thinking that's all they are good for" is quite quite disturbing and in fact makes me sick and angry.
Now I dress pretty modest ususally but that statement and the fact WOMEN typed it agree with it...... just wrong.
I suppose if a woman in tight clothes get assulted she was just "asking for it?"
Yes, I agree with you. This kind of statement is extremely disturbing and has consequences that people can not even fathom. What about when children get raped and this what they hear in society as well. They think it is their fault. I know because it happened to me.0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.
Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.
If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?
Pick it apart all you want, but my POINT is that people outside of America have a completely different mind set. They don't hold back feelings and they don't worry about skin showing. Ever notice how much more forward people in other countries are? They say what's on their mind. Americans are so judgmental and prude and crass...every little thing offends them. Yes, I am an American. No, I don't dress with skin hanging out all over the place, so I'm not trying to defend how I dress. Just stating my views!0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.
Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.
If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?
Pick it apart all you want, but my POINT is that people outside of America have a completely different mind set. They don't hold back feelings and they don't worry about skin showing. Ever notice how much more forward people in other countries are? They say what's on their mind. Americans are so judgmental and prude and crass...every little thing offends them. Yes, I am an American. No, I don't dress with skin hanging out all over the place, so I'm not trying to defend how I dress. Just stating my views!
I wasn't picking it apart, so much as challenging the validity of the statement versus being thoughtless hyperbole mindlessly being thrown around.
I just don't fantasize about the great 'other' out there.
Honestly, as far as bluntness goes, I'd put Americans in the top 3 on this front.0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.
Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.
If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?
Pick it apart all you want, but my POINT is that people outside of America have a completely different mind set. They don't hold back feelings and they don't worry about skin showing. Ever notice how much more forward people in other countries are? They say what's on their mind. Americans are so judgmental and prude and crass...every little thing offends them. Yes, I am an American. No, I don't dress with skin hanging out all over the place, so I'm not trying to defend how I dress. Just stating my views!
I wasn't picking it apart, so much as challenging the validity of the statement versus being thoughtless hyperbole mindlessly being thrown around.
I just don't fantasize about the great 'other' out there.
Honestly, as far as bluntness goes, I'd put Americans in the top 3 on this front.
From my experience, except for the beaches, Europeans dress more conservatively. And I agree that overall Americans are more forward and less reserved; ( friendlier too though)0 -
you're using parenthesis (and CAPS) instead of the square brackets and lowercase for the IMG
http://i1323.photobucket.com/albums/u590/MotivatedBink/Moralequivalence_zpsca418386.jpg
UGH how come my pic isn't working
Thought this was cute and fit the topic. I think alot of it has to do with how people are raised and unless everything is hanging out everywhere I think we should try to not judge people to much on how they choose to dress... but I do agree that it is true that there is a right time and place to dress certain ways... But everybody has the right to their own opinion!
Just trying to get my pic to work lol
k i give up!
Thanks sooo much.. it was my first time ever trying to figure out how to post a pic on a thread.. and though its just a stupid & cute little political commic I found I spent an hour trying to figure out how to get it on here so I really appreciate it
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Love should come before sex. Unfortunately, our culture blurs the lines so that we often value sex more than love. Love is responsible; it considers others; it doesn't flaunt itself. Love is kind. It does not try to emulate the decayed culture that tells women to dress as if they sell their bodies.
Women need to be more aware of the negative impact their revealing dress has on men. A man who wants to keep his mind clean and focused on his wife has a difficult time navigating all the "sexy and revealing" looks that the department stores and magazines push on us.
Our society is caught up in entitlement and "give me my rights" with too little concern about choosing responsibly.
Recently I read about a 17 year old son who was walking in the mall with his mom when a provocatively dressed young woman purposely brushed up against him and gave him the "You're hot... interested?" look. He kept walking. Later, his mom asked him how he felt about what she observed happening. He thought for a minute and then said, "The way she was dressed aroused the male in me, but it didn't attract the man in me."
Enough said.
This addresses a whole new point - of women dressing for men. I've got a man, he's a keeper, had him for years. Do I want him to like the way I look? Sure, otherwise he'd go off and find someone he did want to look at. HOWEVER, by no means do I typically dress for him. Him liking my fashion choices is a bonus, but his opinion doesn't stop me from wearing whet I want. Are boy/men going to look at me if my clothes are revealing? Probably. I don't get mad when they do. I also don't feel particularly flattered. I dress in a way that that makes me feel like Wonder Woman in stilettos, because I deserve to feel that way whenever I want (though as many have pointed out, some occasions, let us say a funeral, is not the time nor place - though I feel that primarily goes without saying). My place of employment has a dress code, I've got a separate wardrobe just for that, but when not affected by any necessary circumstance I'd rather feel (my version of) drop dead fabulous.0 -
I wonder why people don't see that people who dress provocatively do it for the attention they get.. They say they do it for themselves but if they were alone on a dessert island I bet they wouldn't care so much with no one to look at them. Just a thought. Do we feel sexy alone or only because of the way other people perceive us?
When alone I prefer to be pretty close to naked - because I feel my most sexy Society generally requires some clothing, so I translate that feeling over best as possible. 0 -
This is very true. I've worked at two different French companies for over 10 years and have a lot of friends who are expats from other countries. Although there's definitely a less 'uptight' attitude regarding sex, generally the ladies dress very conservatively in the workplace. The most inappropriate work attire I've seen in this time has come from younger American girls.From my experience, except for the beaches, Europeans dress more conservatively. And I agree that overall Americans are more forward and less reserved; ( friendlier too though)0 -
OP, I agree with you. I also feel that ACTING a certain way shows more of one's self-respect than how they dress. I can wear a slinky dress and sit at a bar, or I can wear a slinky dress and sit ON the bar. There's a difference.
But people judge other people, and that's not going to change.
This! Unfortunately you cant change how people will react to you- I tend to dress more conservatively, but the times I do go out of my comfort zone a little bit, the looks and comments I get send me right back! If it makes you feel better then who the heck cares what other people think? and yes I realize that's usually easier said than done...0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
Ok this is not true.
I have lived in 4 different European countries until I moved to US 7 years ago. No, I have never seen people walk naked on the street.
Americans are prude as far as sex goes, but not clothes!0 -
Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
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Americans are prude. In most other countries it's OK to walk around half naked...or naked. The only reason to bash on others here for flaunting it is because you're jealous
See, I wonder how true this really is. People are constantly making these "Americans are prudes" statements in these types of discussions.
Maybe its true, but I suspect that its more a matter of degree; the American fantasy of the hyper-liberated "other" somewhere 'out there'.
If someone walks around downtown Paris wearing nothing but a thong, wouldn't he still be seen as a kook?
Pick it apart all you want, but my POINT is that people outside of America have a completely different mind set. They don't hold back feelings and they don't worry about skin showing. Ever notice how much more forward people in other countries are? They say what's on their mind. Americans are so judgmental and prude and crass...every little thing offends them. Yes, I am an American. No, I don't dress with skin hanging out all over the place, so I'm not trying to defend how I dress. Just stating my views!
Ok Woman. I am not American and Im telling you, you got this wrong.
Saying whats in your mind and showing skin are two different things. I speak my mind, for American giudelines I am considered rude sometimes. I am hot and in great shape, but I still show less skin than most of my female co-workers ( whose shape is not that great, by the way)..
I think the problem is that a good part of america is overweight. When you grow up being overweight and finally you lose weight, you cant wait to show it off. I think thats the girls that show the most skin.
When you been in great shape all your life, you kinda have nothing to be excited about, cause there's nothing new.0 -
I think what the "Americans are prudish" people are getting at is that in other countries, there's topless beaches, Page 3 girls, etc and nudity isn't quite so shocking as it is in America... where some people get their undies in a bunch over women breastfeeding their babies or wearing a bikini on a fitness website.0
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"Wear clothes tight enough to show you're a woman, but loose enough to show you're a lady."
-Marilyn Monroe.
I'll stick with her way of thinking. 0 -
I think what the "Americans are prudish" people are getting at is that in other countries, there's topless beaches, Page 3 girls, etc and nudity isn't quite so shocking as it is in America... where some people get their undies in a bunch over women breastfeeding their babies or wearing a bikini on a fitness website.
Being bothered my breastfeeding in public is not being prude. Its pure ignorance !!0 -
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It isn't the clothes, it's the way you wear it. A confident and beautiful woman can wear a paper bag and still command respect and look sexy as hell. It's about how you feel about who you are.
Take two women, each wearing a little black dress.
One looks like trash because she is obviously trying to get attention, overcompensating for low self esteem and people who look at her instantly think of a hooker or one who probably has seven children by seven different men.
The other woman attracts the right sort of attention because it is obvious she cares less for who is looking at her body and more about how SHE feels in that dress. She is beautiful, sophisticated and attracts higher end men because she understand that she deserves better.
That being said, I would NEVER be seen wearing skimpy clothes. It isn't in my taste and I think it's a waste. Leaving something to the imagination is always best for attracting GOOD men. But if you like the bad boys, I don't really care. You're body. Though I do think that if all you do is flaunt everything you got, then you should not have the right to whine when that is all the men see.0
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