Being played by a guy?

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  • MrsDrk
    MrsDrk Posts: 153 Member
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    Well. This guy sounds like he may be not so great so yea, move on.

    My husband was not the pursuing type. He was rather shy around women, and not sure how to act. He read signals all wrong, or just missed them entirely and it took me giving up, and just looking elsewhere for him to realize that this unforseen anger he was feeling was jealousy because he really did care.

    He wasn't mean, by the way- he was just not as present as I was, I guess. Even after we started dating, he sort of got "cold feet" and I said that I wasn't really going to play the I want you, I don't want you - game. He stopped having doubts and things have been amazing. We've been together 5 years, married 3. He's still terrible at picking up signals sometimes and still awkward with some situations but I find it endearing now.

    Just in the future- don't rule all men out because they just don't know how to act around a woman. Some men really aren't just after one thing- it can take a bit of time to make them comfortable :)
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
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    You should totally call and text him every 5 seconds. And when he doesn't reply, ask him why he's mad at you. Do this over and over again. Dudes love that.
  • TraciStivers
    TraciStivers Posts: 116 Member
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    MOVE ON.

    If a guy wants to see you, he will. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll make time. Unless he's running a small country or a member of the CIA, he has time. Chances are you're one of many in his pocket.

    I agree, don't make him a priority in your life when you are only an option in his life.
  • HeavyLiftGirl
    HeavyLiftGirl Posts: 1,267 Member
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    He's probably married and not telling you.
  • LauraJo08
    LauraJo08 Posts: 219 Member
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    There is this guy I met, who I really like. He says he feels the same way.
    However, he goes from talking to me one day to acting like I don't exist the next. I initiate almost all of our conversations, and he will go from talking to me one day, to completely removing himself and not responding to any texts, calls, etc. Then he comes back and starts talking again, then disappears. He also says he wants to spend time with me, yet I am always the one making the effort. I told him I wanted to go to the fair that is in town, and he went (no problem), but didn't bother inviting me or even mentioning it at all. Yet he wants to spend time with me?
    I'm trying to figure out whether or not I'm being played, or if this guy is just fickle.

    I hate to say it, but I think that this is a classic "he's just not that into you" situation. He sounds immature as well, because a real guy who's not interested will be blunt and not play you along. Onto the next one girl!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    MOVE ON.

    If a guy wants to see you, he will. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll make time. Unless he's running a small country or a member of the CIA, he has time. Chances are you're one of many in his pocket.

    ^ This,

    If the guy wants to see you he will make an effort and even go out of his way to do so. Hell I'd jump on a plane and fly to a different country to see the person I want to be with if I had too. If this guy makes no effort to see you, he is not worth waiting for


    aw, this is sweet.
  • karynspeace
    karynspeace Posts: 132
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    I'm not even bothering to read everyone before me's posts. Sweety, I have been married a long time and even I know that you have one of two things:
    1. An opportunity to move on and don't look back...
    2. Friends with benefits....
    Pick one and get on with it already. And stop being so naive...
  • futurestarz
    futurestarz Posts: 510
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    Unless I was officially boyfriend/gf with a guy, I never called or texted them first. If they want to spend time with you, they will make the time. If a guy really likes a girl he is NOT going to ignore her. It kind of hurt a few times when the guy didn't call me, but you'll get over it.
  • drelan
    drelan Posts: 59 Member
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    "When it comes to a man, don't listen to a word he SAYS, instead pay attention to everything he DOES."

    Best advice...ever.
  • angiemartin78
    angiemartin78 Posts: 475 Member
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    Move on honey...Find someone that's going to treat you like a queen and never let him go.
  • meggawatt
    meggawatt Posts: 145 Member
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    Move on. Similar thing happened to me years ago, turns out the guy was married and a big liar. Good luck to you.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Unless I was officially boyfriend/gf with a guy, I never called or texted them first. If they want to spend time with you, they will make the time. If a guy really likes a girl he is NOT going to ignore her. It kind of hurt a few times when the guy didn't call me, but you'll get over it.

    you are very pretty.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
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    He wouldn't ignore you if he were that interested....you'll know when you find someone that is....
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    If he acts like he's not interested....he's not interested

    Read the book and watch the movie of "he just not that into you"

    And no he's not necessarily a d-bag. Frankly I act the same way when I'm NOT interested but don't want to be rude. Usually distance is a clue - a bit passive aggressive yes probably.
  • MelisRunning
    MelisRunning Posts: 819 Member
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    Ditch him and don't look back.
  • flatbellybella
    flatbellybella Posts: 303 Member
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    Babe.... DON'T CHASE.... REPLACE!

    Live by this.

    Always.

    Always x10
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
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    So many great responses, and most everyone is right on the money.

    I will say from another guys point of view, If we are truly interested in a woman, then we will do whatever it takes to be with that woman. When I first met my wife, I couldn't spend enough time with her. I made myself available to her every chance I could.

    when guys seem fickle, it is either becaue they are waiting for somehting better to come along, they are already attached, or they are only stringing you along...

    Go find yourself a good man who loves to spend his time with you.
  • pascale485
    pascale485 Posts: 173 Member
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    MOVE ON.

    If a guy wants to see you, he will. If he wants to spend time with you, he'll make time. Unless he's running a small country or a member of the CIA, he has time. Chances are you're one of many in his pocket.

    this!!!
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    Ok devils advocate here, maybe your are coming on to strong. Slow down you don't have to call him every day. Go do your thing and see where it goes or doesnt. Give him time to miss you. Go places with your friends and hey date other guys. Don't wait around for any guy. If he were saying hey I'll call or we will do something and then leaving you hanging then I would be worried. If you were officially a couple then that's different but if your not ...

    Good luck
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    There is this guy I met, who I really like. He says he feels the same way.
    However, he goes from talking to me one day to acting like I don't exist the next. I initiate almost all of our conversations, and he will go from talking to me one day, to completely removing himself and not responding to any texts, calls, etc. Then he comes back and starts talking again, then disappears. He also says he wants to spend time with me, yet I am always the one making the effort. I told him I wanted to go to the fair that is in town, and he went (no problem), but didn't bother inviting me or even mentioning it at all. Yet he wants to spend time with me?
    I'm trying to figure out whether or not I'm being played, or if this guy is just fickle.
    Sounds like you're being e-maintained. Time to ditch him for a man that sees you as more than a fallback plan.

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