Cheated on, and got through it?

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  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
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    he got the girl pregnant and expected me to stay! the bad thing is,i would have never found out if he wouldnt have gotten her pregnant and i'd be living in some dulusional world at this moment!
  • WontStopUntilTheirJawsDrop
    WontStopUntilTheirJawsDrop Posts: 15
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    @Sizzle92 Thank you! It's been hellofacrazy few weeks!!


    @sadpanda, whoever wrote "Oh you're a fruitloop" has just made a perfect demonstration of the type of people
    you were trying to highlight in your post.

    You are obviously going through a very hard time right now and I am sorry. Life is fuking tough, Never gets any easier. You will get through this though and i am sorry you are having such a hard time

    There are plenty of genuine, caring people here who will offer advice and an ear so ignore the ignorant, sneering, idiots that choose otherwise xxxx
  • zrmac804
    zrmac804 Posts: 369 Member
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    Yep, I was cheated on by the same guy twice. The first time I forgave him. The second time I told him we were done, although we remained chummy until I moved away two years later. Looking back I think I dodged a bullet.
  • BioShocked89
    BioShocked89 Posts: 330 Member
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    I was cheated on in my first real relationship following an abusive one. I'm still not fully over it in the sense of hurt. It took me a long time to even begin to trust and even affected my current relationship.

    One day, one of my guy friends mentioned that, "If I'm with a girl, and she says she can't trust me when I'm not giving her a reason to doubt me-then we're done, there's no point." And that is so true. I realized how badly I wanted to be with my man, and that I shouldn't let the mistakes of other people define how I feel about him. (Mind you, my man wasn't giving me any reason to not trust him, I was just scared of being hurt again.)

    It's a hard thing to trust after going through a situation like that, but it can be done. As for dealing with the man/woman who cheated, it gets easier with time. First you wonder what you did wrong, then you hate them for disgracing you. Eventually, you don't care anymore. Bottom line is that sooner or later you will understand that if they could cheat on you, then they weren't worth the tears in the first place.
  • myth4ever
    myth4ever Posts: 372
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    Cheating refers to an immoral way of achieving a goal. It is generally used for the breaking of rules to gain advantage in a competitive situation. Cheating is the getting of reward for ability by dishonest means. This broad definition will necessarily include acts of bribery, cronyism, sleaze, nepotism and any situation where individuals are given preference using inappropriate criteria



    If this is the definition that you are going by......Everyone on this forum is GUILTY!!!!!!! It is more than the act of SLEEPING with someone else....If you confide secrets or ask the opinion of someone other than your partner you are cheating!!!!!

    Come off the high horse please
  • dg730
    dg730 Posts: 62
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    A one night stand or a long term thing. One night stand I could for give with time, that is if they told me about it. If I herd about it our it was going on for a while nope.
  • smsgrl2009
    smsgrl2009 Posts: 11
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    :glasses:
  • smsgrl2009
    smsgrl2009 Posts: 11
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    It's an addiction. A cheater will never stop cheating. just FYI! :)
    [/quote




    Not always
  • persephone87
    persephone87 Posts: 220 Member
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    It's not an addiction in everyone, some people are just ars*holes.

    GET RID asap because if they are willing to screw someone else, hurt you and break your heart do you want to stay with someone like that? NO they have no regard for your feelings, your heart or your trust.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I was, by my first boyfriend. I think I was stupid and I wanted to keep the relationship alive, but eventually he broke up with me.
    I learnt so much from it I believe - it was such a big mistake to stay with him because he was a total *kitten*. I'm sorry but, if you love somebody you'd never do anything to hurt them.

    Dump the *kitten*.
  • RzRzRzR
    RzRzRzR Posts: 72 Member
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    Been there, got back together, it happened again, back together, happened again, and eventually split up, but still friends.
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
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    I gave it a shot. In a previous relationship I was cheated on on numerous occasions (don't give me that look; I know). I forgave him - that came easily. A bit too easily, but I digress. But the forgetting was the impossible part. I tried really hard - counselling, the works. But ultimately the damage was done. I take my hat off to couples who overcome infidelity; as I really found it impossible in the long-run.

    Infidelity, to me, is never black and white (don't give me that look; I know, pt 2). I even know a couple whose relationship was improved by an affair - short sharp shock and all that. But I know they're very much the exception.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    You know what I hate more than cheaters? People who spill their guts about totally non-weight-loss-related stuff on weight loss forums. Seriously, if you're hurting that bad go into therapy. Don't put the onus of solving life's most pressing problems off on people who are just trying to lose weight. Or save it for Facebook.

    Wow, angry much? Lighten up - you didn't have to read this thread. If you're not into it, why did you bother?

    And, I would argue that while this isn't totally on the fitness topic, it's related. My ex was an *kitten* who made me feel bad about myself almost every day. When I found out that he was close to or had been cheating, I made a promise to myself to do right for myself by getting back into running and lifting so I could feel like a stronger person on the outside. That whole event is what inspired me to get serious - and to get involved with the MFP community.

    People make choices for all sorts of emotional reasons, fitness being one of them.

    ^^^^ 100%. This is the reason I started running again. It was drink my worries away or run them away. Running was the harder choice to make, but it saved me. Now 4 years later, I'm here at MFP. Sometimes we need to talk about something other than fitness and realize that we are all connected in ways other than weight loss and work outs. It's how we connect.

    That's really amazing about your running. Thanks for posting. I know exactly what you mean about drinking it away or running it away. First I decided to study it away (I got into business school and I start in January) and now, in the interim, I'm definitely still fighting the battle between exercise and a good sulk with a glass of wine. It didn't help that up until a week ago he was still playing his games. But, I'm recommitting this week. Had a great workout on Monday and hope to get to the gym on Friday and over the weekend :-)
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    I'm amazed people can forgive it.

    I'm not.

    Love is a pretty strong emotion for a lot of people.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    oops double.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    people cheat, and for all kinds of reasons: alone and distanced from thier significant others, loneliness in marriage, sexless marriage, sexual addiction, immaturity, or just not meant to be in a relationship or marriage, and some plain just dont give a flying (((you know what)))), revenge, stupidity, and my favorite "in the moment" the list is endless....

    But for me, cheating isnt just only the sexual indescrepencies, its the violation of trust in a relationship period.(use your imagination) thats a betrayal that is just as hurtfull.

    Can cheaters change, yes. Can you change them NO. Do they want to change?

    ...my question would be "why did they cheat on me?"... and how did it get to this, and is it worth the fight to fix it. Can I forgive 100% and learn to trust again, and is it even worth it.:huh: or am I just going to resent them for the rest of our lives, and live a miserable exsistance, and eventually it will fail anyways, a total waste of time and then be bitter.

    But no matter what you decide, you have to take into consideration....once its shame on them, second time its shame on you.
    :flowerforyou: tough situation
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
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    Was cheated on by my ex-husband. We lasted another 4 or 5 years or so, but I never did trust him again and the only reason we lasted that long was because I didn't want to leave my daughter without a dad. Bottom line, he lied again and again and I finally had enough.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    A few months back my boyfriend was out at a staff do and a girl he works with kissed him, they were all back at her house when it happened and they were the only two left , he blacked out and slept in her bed.

    He told me straight away, said he couldn't live with the guilt, promised it was just a kiss and begged me to believe him and give him a chance. It was really hard to forgive but I love him to bits and I forgave him.

    The sad thing is even though I forgave him I can never 100% trust him and I can never forget. and I still check his text messages which really hurts him :-(

    Two weeks ago I moved in with him and we got really drunk and accidently burnt the house down(Chip pan incident) we had to jump out the upstairs windows. I broke my pelvis (Still on crutches) and he broke his foot. Craazy crazy thing to have happened this incident has brought us closer than ever and helped us move forward from the demons of the past

    Ya'll might wanna look into AA or something. Blacking out in strange beds and burning your house down are generally accepted signs that you might have a problem.
  • verysadpanda
    verysadpanda Posts: 6
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    MakeThemStare- That's crazy! I'm glad you guys are ok.

    Again, I truly appreciate everyone's responses and feedback. It's not an easy thing to discuss.
  • ReesesPuffs
    ReesesPuffs Posts: 169
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    Yes, but we were on a week long break after a tiff so apparently I couldn't say anything about the matter. Oh well

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