Class Reunions: To go or not to go?

_VoV

My 40th reunion is coming up next year, and I'm almost 100% sure I'm not going. I haven't been to a single previous one because high school wasn't a good time for me, so why go and be reminded of why that was?

I have a few people who have friended me on FB who went to high school the same time I did, but they weren't friends then and they aren't now. So why bother?

lrtoland

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I was so invisible, I wasn't even *invited*. Saw some pictures through Facebook - everyone who showed up is exactly the same.

I am so sorry. That hurts. I was often invisible in H.S. as well, that is, until some bully felt like being a jerk:S Anyway, it's all good...our experiences shape us into the people we are, for better or worse. Rejection sucks, but we can become stronger from it and choose to reach out to others going through similar experiences;) Thanks for sharing.

Was also invisible in HS. If we had a 5 year reunion, wasn't invited. When I was a senior in hs, there were kids in my class that I had been to school with since kindergarten and had classes with the whole time that didn't know my name (my graduating class had 140 kids). There were only 5 girls in my HS class that I was friends with. It was all we could do to keep our heads down and avoid the bullies that tormented us most of middle school and the beginning of HS; basically, survive. I've kept in touch with a couple of them and we're all more than happy to be excluded from a class reunion. We now all live different, but very happy and successful lives doing what we dreamed of doing. We still keep in touch through FB and email and phone on our own. We really don't care what the kids who spat on us, called us ugly, pushed us in the halls, spread rumors, threatened us, and made us cry until we were 16, until they'd finally had their fill and simply ignored us when we were 17 and 18 are doing at this point. And before anyone says anything--we were VERY quiet. We truly did nothing to provoke the bullying except be "the shy kids". But I also had an exceptionally mean and horrendous class. My younger brother who graduated 4 years after me said that the faculty still talked about my class and how relieved they were to have us gone. From what I've heard, most of them are burnouts, in jail, or in some other kind of trouble now. The kids that were "good" but still bullies, I still have no interest in seeing. Maybe they've grown up, maybe they're sorry, maybe they're nice now, maybe not. But it doesn't add anything to my life to find out. I'm not angry at them anymore, but I see no point using my valuable time to test the waters. I live 500 miles away from my home town now. Not worth the gas money, not worth the time.

If you had a good experience, why not go? If you had an "eh" experience, still, why not go? Might be fun to reconnect with people you were even somewhat friends with. But if it was miserable, why waste your time? Enjoy your current life, your current friends, and forget the past hurts. HS was a fraction of your life. If it was unhappy, don't dredge it up, just enjoy the rest of it.

^^This is really good advice. Just enjoy the rest of it:) Thanks so much. I don't have to worry about it for a few years, but I just got to thinking about it after a slightly unpleasant FB interaction with a guy I went to H.S. with.

lrtoland

I'm too busy making memories with the people in my life that matter to bother with going.

^^Awesome...love it:)

HealthyAlison

Not in a million years!

hbm616

I just had my 5 year reunion over the summer. It was nice to see a handful of people and it was even nicer to hear how awesome I look but overall it wasn't worth the over-priced drinks haha

oOMusicBabii

AS much as I was the quiet, band geek who got made fun of for being smart and nerdy, who had all of 5 friends, I still plan on going to my 5th or 10th (whenever those happen).

And I hope to be down to 150lbs and looked drop dead awesome because it'd be great to watch the jaw drops (I'm looking at you my *****y ex-friends!!)

Oishii

I went to my secondary school (JHS) reunion recently and it was great fun. I didn't recognise anyone who had been horrid to me, just the people I'd grown up with. I realised:

1) My primary (elementary) school friends are part of me, even if I haven't seen them in years.
2) School was less of a big deal in my life than for many of my classmates, because I've done so much since. I hardly remembered anything about school compared to many people there.
3) When I mentioned the 'cool kids', my friend said 'I thought we were pretty cool!' and she was right.
4) I'm not in bad shape for my age. We went and sat on the wall we used to sit on and I could jump up easily while others struggled.

I'm glad I went. I got 2 of my friends on my FB who hadn't been and I seemed to be the only person who bothered to talk to one of my oldest and quietest friends, so I'm glad I was there for her. If the same people are going, I'd go again.

jetscreaminagain

Thanks to the magic of facebook what I'm about to say isn't 100% true any more. And there's at least one cool high school classmate on here, and she's exempted. But those are the exceptions that prove the rule:

I moved 3000 miles away immediately upon graduation. That wasn't cuz I like high school so much. Why on EARTH would I go relive that *kitten* now that I'm an adult and have so many more interesting people to talk to and things to do? Like interview people at the DMV and get a root canal.

So. No. I like my life now and feel no need to go through the archaeology of social idiocy that would be returning to my high school and my cohort there.

reasnableblonde

I went to my 10-year. I was petrified that people would all ask me if I was married and had any kids yet... blah blah blah. At the time I was single and wasn't feelin' great about myself.

Turns out, the question everyone asked was if I still lived in the area. I got to tell them that after I defended my dissertation, I took a job in NYC and moved to Manhattan. It felt pretty darn good!! I had a few guys ask me why we didn't date in high school. Um, that would be because they ignored me completely.

I doubt I go to the 20-year. The men were friendly and fun, but the girls were *****ier than ever. I'm better than that and am not going to waste the gas or airfare.

Artemis726

My 20 year reunion is coming up in a few years. I didn't go to the 5, 10, or 15 year reunions, and I don't plan on going to this one either. I was fairly popular and well liked, but I have zero desire to mingle or to be hit up to reconnect afterwards. Meh.

wimeezer

I've never gone to any of mine. After the 20th someone told me the cliques were still there. I also went to a small rural school and while not a pariah I was difficult for me. I have no interest in spending time with those people.
.

mariettel7

I went to my 20 year. I had a good time. I hated that I was overweight and unemployed, but I still was confident in who I was, so it didn't matter. Nobody said anything mean. They may have behind my back, but I don't care. I got to see all those people that I was friends with back then and that was fun. We had ours at a bar too. Makes it much more casual.

I was somewhat popular in high school. I wasn't the cheerleader or anything, but I had my group of friends and I was nice to everyone. I was seen as the "nice" girl mostly. On occasion some people thought I was stuck up, not because I was mean, but because I didn't say much. I was really shy back then! I was shocked when someone told me that.

Anyway, it might be fun if it's close by. If it was far away and would cost a lot to attend, I don't know if I would go.

RunnerInVT

I went to my 20 th reunion at a lake and wore a blue bikini with a rock hard body!! No one recognized me and when they did they "voted " me as "most improved "!! I decided they were judging me in HS and STILL were I will not go to another even though I still look better now than they ever did!! I want them to keep the blue bikini in their heads!!

yourenotmine

Absolutely not. No way in hell would I go. It's up to you, how you feel about it, of course, but when they started calling me about my, must have been a 10 yr reunion, I had to tell the organizer to stop emailing me because I had no intention of going. The whole thought gives me such anxiety.

If it's something you might enjoy, then sure, do it. I mean, why not? It might be good to reconnect with people. But it wouldn't be for me.

praxisproject

I couldn't even be bothered to read their Facebooks, let alone spend an evening with them *yawn*

People I like to spend time with, I keep in touch with already.

Dencrossgirl

My 30th reunion was this past summer and I had every intention of going. I wasn't unpopular, but had a very small group of friends, none of whom I am in contact with today. I like the use of FB to see who will be attending, it's very helpful! I didn't see anyone on the list that I was particularly interested in reconnecting with, so I ended up not going. I did look at the pictures afterwards and had a tiny moment of regret, but it passed quickly.

I agree with JJ. I didn't hate HS, but why try to create friendships at a reunion that didn't exist in HS? People do change, but if you've kept in touch with the people you wanted to, what's the point of putting yourself through a reunion?

I could have wrote this, lol, I missed mine too. There were some of the nasty I would have loved to have rubbed their nose that my life was so much than these lol, but life's too short.

Cupcakehippiemommy

I would skip it.Why try go if that place made you miserable lol I agree with the gentleman that said to take a vacation somewhere nice ^u^

bufger

I'd go if it was going to make me feel good but i wouldnt if it wouldnt...

For me i think i've been fairly successful and i'm happy with my life. The kids that picked on me are still all friends. 1 is my binman, another is my window cleaner! Personally I would go to one as i have a different outlook on life. I'm no longer scared of anyone or anything and i actually feel sorry for them as they havent gone out and had the experiences i have or made the friends I have.

If you have insecurity in yourself then you wont like it so dont go.

laserturkey

I went to my 10-year High School reunion. The drunken, entitled, suburban assh*les were still just exactly that. The couple of friends I would still want to connect with are around and I know how to reach them. I missed the last reunion and can't come up with a reason to go to any more of them. It's like prom with stiffer drinks and less hair on the men, pretty much. Boring.

The singing groups I was in during college have reunions, too, and I've been to a couple of those. They are a lot of fun because we get together and sing and we all have at least something in common.

rml_16

So, in my H.S. there were two cliques: popular and unpopular.I was picked on quite a bit and made the butt of many a joke throughout my experience in the halls of my rural and rather small-town school. It was a very difficult time for me.I have a lot of bad memories from that time in my life Not very idealistic....lol:) I did have a few close friends who I still consider friends to this day.

Many, many people have told me how much fun it was to go back to your Class Reunion. They say that everyone is so different and that it's a really great time. Much to my dismay, I have found over the years that many of the people I went to H.S. with are still stuck in the same clique-ish mentality, it seems. This has pretty much dashed my desire to even go to my 20-year H.S. reunion.

What do you guys think? Would you go if this were the case for you? Do you plan to go to your H.S. Reunion?

I went to my 10-year. Basically, if you were friends with certain people in high school, those were the people you hung out with at the reunion. There wasn't a ton of mingling.

I enjoyed myself because I had a lot of good friends in high school, but I think if I'd had a lousy HS experience, I wouldn't have gone.

We haven't reached our 20-year yet. We have a FB page for it and everyone is friendly with each other on there, which is nice. But there really wasn't a lot of bullying in my HS. Not being good friends with someone didn't mean you didn't like that person. You just didn't necessarily go shopping together or whatever.