Is it considered cheating?

245

Replies

  • kjjm08
    kjjm08 Posts: 217 Member
    In my book, it's cheating. If you had a friend that was a girl, got drunk and made out with her - she would have been hurt and you would have cheated in her mind.
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    Would that excuse fly if you told your girlfriend you made out with a girl on a drunken outing, but it was only a mistake?
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    Would that excuse fly if you told your girlfriend you made out with a girl on a drunken outing, but it was only a mistake?

    I don't drink. Nice try, though
  • seal57
    seal57 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    Drunk or not it's still cheating....Being drunk is no excuse....
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?

    Nope. I never said it was ok for her to make out with a girl, either. It's not. I'm simply saying that people sometimes may have a momentary lapse of judgment; things happen. A kiss is totally forgivable, especially when there's no feelings involved.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    if your SO wouldn't approve than don't do it it is cheating.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    If she was trying to hide it from you, then I would say yes for sure.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    I'm with you.

    But if the OP doesn't accept her excuses (I think she was only having fun, not thinking or feeling serious) he is well within his right to dump her.

    I think it's a little harsh and even immature on his part though.

    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Most people experiment, if you can't/ won't give her the freedom then you should break up as it shows that you're not compatible.
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    I'm with you.

    But if the OP doesn't accept her excuses (I think she was only having fun, not thinking or feeling serious) he is well within his right to dump her.

    I think it's a little harsh and even immature on his part though.

    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Most people experiment, if you can't/ won't give her the freedom then you should break up as it shows that you're not compatible.

    That's what I'm saying, her friend is of NO threat to the relationship. OP's girlfriend is clearly hetero, else she would not be in a relationship with the OP. Being on a college campus, I see this type of thing all the time... Girls making out with their "girlfriends" and such, just having a good time. I think you'd have to be really insecure within yourself to break up over something so petty.
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?

    Nope. I never said it was ok for her to make out with a girl, either. It's not. I'm simply saying that people sometimes may have a momentary lapse of judgment; things happen. A kiss is totally forgivable, especially when there's no feelings involved.

    A kiss, maybe. Not a full blown make out (in my relationships). I am also married though. I wouldn't immediately file for divorce over a kiss though.
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
    Oh dear... well... if you already had broken up with her before this happened, 1) you should not have been going through her phone, and 2) no, it wouldn't be cheating if you had already split and were having "breakup sex" or whatever she was with you at the time for....

    Now, if you two were still together..... 1) you should not have been going through her phone, and 2) yes, it is cheating. Doesn't matter whether male or female. I agree with the previous posters on that.

    Either way, trust has been violated because 1) she wasn't totally honest with you and 2) you're going through her phone.

    Time to walk away...... there is no trust or honesty in whatever "relationship" you have. Period.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    If you feel hurt and uncomfortable, then it's cheating.

    Yup!
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
    :angry:
    RATS...foiled again.
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
    It's cheating, no doubt about it.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
    Wrong.


    I've kissed a handful of women. I still label myself as hetero because A. I was not sexually attracted to them and B. I was not emotionally attracted to them.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?

    Mistake or not, I wouldn't forget it so that would end the relationship for me.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    I am confused...he said he broke up with her recently.
    Yet he says this happened LAST NIGHT

    OP was she your girlfriend last night or not?!?!?!?!
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    it is to me because if my man boinked another man, he's cheating....
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I am confused...he said he broke up with her recently.
    Yet he says this happened LAST NIGHT

    OP was she your girlfriend last night or not?!?!?!?!
    Yea....that part is confusing me, too.


    If she was your girlfriend last night, she cheated. If she wasn't, then what the hell are you doing going through her phone and concerning yourself with who she's making out with?
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
    Yes. Its cheating.
  • shail1pc
    shail1pc Posts: 7 Member
    The whole "if you are hurt then it is cheating" thing is bs. Sorry to be blunt but you need to figure out why you care if she kisses another girl. There is a HUGE difference between her kissing a guy and her kissing a girl. One is she isnt attracted to girls in that way(I assume) and did so because she was drunk. To relate it would you feel bad if she kissed her dog? Or her mom?
  • bragaswag
    bragaswag Posts: 28
    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    Catch them in the act...jump on the pile. Problem solved.
    this seems to be a good idea
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.

    If you guys are going through each others phones then this obviously wasn't a healthy relationship. You clearly don't trust each other!
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    If it's affecting you, yes she cheated. You seem like a sensible guy, of course she's gonna be pissed. But if you go back, this will only be the beginning of whats next. Severe it..... while it's mild, girls get revenge! She'll end up using it against you in the long run, promise.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    i say that the kissing is not a big deal. i think that a p!ssed snog with any gender (as long as it stays as just a snog) is totally forgivable. but it sounds like your relationship is headed for the bin anyway.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    yes... i don't know why it wouldn't be cheating just because it's the same sex.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.


    I read this after I left me comment. I was right, your a sensible guy. Move on, you'll find a girl that'll be flattered you "look" at her phone, the same you didn't mind her looking through yours. Your a good dude, don't put yourself through any more b.s. that's surely gonna come again.........

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