Is it considered cheating?

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  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
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    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?

    Nope. I never said it was ok for her to make out with a girl, either. It's not. I'm simply saying that people sometimes may have a momentary lapse of judgment; things happen. A kiss is totally forgivable, especially when there's no feelings involved.

    A kiss, maybe. Not a full blown make out (in my relationships). I am also married though. I wouldn't immediately file for divorce over a kiss though.
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    Oh dear... well... if you already had broken up with her before this happened, 1) you should not have been going through her phone, and 2) no, it wouldn't be cheating if you had already split and were having "breakup sex" or whatever she was with you at the time for....

    Now, if you two were still together..... 1) you should not have been going through her phone, and 2) yes, it is cheating. Doesn't matter whether male or female. I agree with the previous posters on that.

    Either way, trust has been violated because 1) she wasn't totally honest with you and 2) you're going through her phone.

    Time to walk away...... there is no trust or honesty in whatever "relationship" you have. Period.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If you feel hurt and uncomfortable, then it's cheating.

    Yup!
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
    :angry:
    RATS...foiled again.
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    It's cheating, no doubt about it.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    This 'friend' of hers is clearly no danger to the relationship - as long as your girl is hetero.

    Sounds like his ex/girl isn't hetero.
    I'm strictly d**ktly and would NEVER kiss a woman on the lips. Period. THAT is hetero.
    Wrong.


    I've kissed a handful of women. I still label myself as hetero because A. I was not sexually attracted to them and B. I was not emotionally attracted to them.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    Guess I'm in the minority here, but I don't necessarily see it as cheating. I believe she made a poor decision after a night of drinking. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't do it maliciously.

    So if she made out with a guy it would be ok...?

    Mistake or not, I wouldn't forget it so that would end the relationship for me.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    I am confused...he said he broke up with her recently.
    Yet he says this happened LAST NIGHT

    OP was she your girlfriend last night or not?!?!?!?!
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    it is to me because if my man boinked another man, he's cheating....
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I am confused...he said he broke up with her recently.
    Yet he says this happened LAST NIGHT

    OP was she your girlfriend last night or not?!?!?!?!
    Yea....that part is confusing me, too.


    If she was your girlfriend last night, she cheated. If she wasn't, then what the hell are you doing going through her phone and concerning yourself with who she's making out with?
  • heidimaggott78
    heidimaggott78 Posts: 203
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    Yes. Its cheating.
  • shail1pc
    shail1pc Posts: 7 Member
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    The whole "if you are hurt then it is cheating" thing is bs. Sorry to be blunt but you need to figure out why you care if she kisses another girl. There is a HUGE difference between her kissing a guy and her kissing a girl. One is she isnt attracted to girls in that way(I assume) and did so because she was drunk. To relate it would you feel bad if she kissed her dog? Or her mom?
  • bragaswag
    bragaswag Posts: 28
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    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,245 Member
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    Catch them in the act...jump on the pile. Problem solved.
    this seems to be a good idea
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.

    If you guys are going through each others phones then this obviously wasn't a healthy relationship. You clearly don't trust each other!
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    If it's affecting you, yes she cheated. You seem like a sensible guy, of course she's gonna be pissed. But if you go back, this will only be the beginning of whats next. Severe it..... while it's mild, girls get revenge! She'll end up using it against you in the long run, promise.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
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    i say that the kissing is not a big deal. i think that a p!ssed snog with any gender (as long as it stays as just a snog) is totally forgivable. but it sounds like your relationship is headed for the bin anyway.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    yes... i don't know why it wouldn't be cheating just because it's the same sex.
  • JosephVitte
    JosephVitte Posts: 2,039
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    Sorry. This all happend tonight. Sorry for the confusion. We were dating. Nothing open about the relationship. I found out, then i broke up with her. I dont usually go through her phone but she always goes through my phone all the time, usually when im sleeping. We agreed to have open privacy for phones. If you have nothing to hide, you shouldnt be so secretive. I had nothing to hide, so i didnt care if she went through it. Oh well.. Life goes on. I just didnt want to be exaggerating the situation by making it seem like im blowing up something that isnt really a big deal.


    I read this after I left me comment. I was right, your a sensible guy. Move on, you'll find a girl that'll be flattered you "look" at her phone, the same you didn't mind her looking through yours. Your a good dude, don't put yourself through any more b.s. that's surely gonna come again.........

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