What made you laugh today?

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  • cheexy85
    cheexy85 Posts: 119
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    Funniest dog joke i've ever read:
    A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he
    sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
    "Talking Dog For Sale."


    He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog
    is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a
    nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

    "You talk?" he asks.

    "Yep," the Lab replies.

    After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak,
    he says, "So, what's your story?"

    The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could
    talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government,
    so I told them. In no time at all they had me jetting from
    country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world
    leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
    I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years
    running.

    "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I
    wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I
    signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover
    security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening
    in.

    "I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a bunch of
    medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just
    retired."

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
    wants for the dog.

    "Ten dollars," the guy says.

    "Ten dollars?! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you
    selling him so cheap?"

    "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

    ^^ this :laugh:

    Me too :laugh: :happy:
  • RedBullLiz
    RedBullLiz Posts: 469 Member
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    A coworker said he was a growing boy and needed more potatoes. I said its big enough. I meant to say you're just about right. Apparently, it was still taken dirty. Hehe. I laughed so hard, he was more than happy to know that I got nervous.
  • MommaHoff
    MommaHoff Posts: 54 Member
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    The 2 year old little girl I babysit running around the backyard chasing my step daughter and calling her mommy and watching blooper videos on Youtube with my stepdaughters and husband.
  • theologynerd
    theologynerd Posts: 264 Member
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    Heartache and pain can be hard to deal with.....but laughter can be the best medicine. in some cases...

    Unless you have diarrhea.
  • iluvprettyshoes
    iluvprettyshoes Posts: 605 Member
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    Watching Abraham Lincoln Zombie Killer with my teenage son- what a hoot!!
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
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    I laughed when my daughter said she'd like a Dutch oven for her birthday, and her husband said "I just gave you one this morning!"
  • rosesigil
    rosesigil Posts: 105 Member
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    Read the "dumb labels" thread on MFP--it's hilarious!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    What made me laugh was a few moments ago my husband was playing a game "Assassin's creed 3" and he says...

    Husband: Where is Sam adam's?
    Me: I'm Sure someone is drinking him out of a bottle tonight
    Husband: No, are you stupid? The man, where is he?
    Me: I don't know but with a name like that I'd be drunk
    Husband: I think you are!

    LOL I'm still laughing

    Oh and he went to the bathroom and peed on his shirt so yeah I'm having a lot of laughs tonight.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
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    Read the "dumb labels" thread on MFP--it's hilarious!

    ditto !
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    my friend and I discussing how we would get some sperm for our lesbian friend who wants a baby, and deciding we should get it from our other friends Husband, as he is a cardiac consultant and is fit and good looking, but I pointed out that he has had a vasectomy and then we decided that we would get some anyway.....

    Then wondering how to do it without him knowing.....
  • cheexy85
    cheexy85 Posts: 119
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    Heartache and pain can be hard to deal with.....but laughter can be the best medicine. in some cases...

    Unless you have diarrhea.

    This :laugh:
  • Linli_Anne
    Linli_Anne Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Some witty comments on a blog about those Elf on the Shelf things.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
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    What a moot question! Couldn't have come at a better time! Mein Gott - these kids! I was laughing my head off, then I got angry for what I had to deal with today!

    In short, a 14 year old is thinking to inflict physical violence upon some girl, who she claims slandered her. And she's thinking to go street about it. Urgh. Neither one is physical. Neither of the 2 were raised street. There are alternatives - but some of these children just don't see other likely options, but rather - turn to the ridiculous. Surely it must be for the sole purpose - of pissing me off, possibly because of my adamant choice to live triple c - cool - calm - collected. Don't f*** up my karma!! Darn it!!! lol

    To have grown up part-street from one side of my family (hood relevant), to be apprised of the modern interpretations of what was a circumstantial way of life, just made me laugh! Back then I had to fight for being there at all (it's an invasion - you don't belong - it's an insult), to board the school bus, to purchase from the local dairy, ... To use the community's sporting facilities .... And fighting was in self-defence - not elective - you had to!

    What is laughable, is that these children, think it's cool. It's not - it's criminal! Is life so soft, that they feel they need to manufacture "that hard" for a balance? Where do they get this crap from?

    ... B R E A T H E ... Breathe in and E X H A L E .... LOL

    There you have it - my laugh at" the ridiculous" for the day.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
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    My grandson.