Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?

jessiekanga

It. Is. NEVER. okay.

I make my living doing this very work, and I couldn't say it any better.

JanaCanada

OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.

Not defending his actions, as they were wrong, however the second action does not affirm what the intentions of the first one were.

A woman shoots a man in the face. To defend himself he rushes her and tries to tackle her.

He barely makes it through surgery but lives. When he sees her in court he's overwhelmed with anger and rushes her again and tackles her.

But because he did it the second time, OF COURSE his life wasn't in danger the first.

Get a clue.

Dear Clueless,

The subject/woman did not shoot the man in the face (*insert eyeroll here*) nor did he consider her a threat to his life, as evidenced by his SECOND slap to her head. Try to keep up without exaggerating to make your feeble point.

dcurzon

theres some crap in this thread.
women, do you want equality or not? perhaps only when it suits?

woman lunges aggressively, man fully right to defend, block, push away/parry, restrain etc with a suitable measure of force. Simples. Every action has a reaction.

Contrarian

Neither one should have been physical.

auntdeedee87

All these men concerned about women attacking them must run with a much more violent crowd than me.

Equality has nothing to do with common sense. Jesus, the things that come out of people's mouths these days worry me, So because I want to have equal rights as men, I also need to be okay with them beating me up?

admnmtpilot

It isn't right for ANYONE to touch another person in anger!!! Bottom line...

auntdeedee87

It isn't right for ANYONE to touch another person in anger!!! Bottom line...

Sure enough!

deadliftfan

What if he was coming towards her aggressively and she pushed him.

Equal rights, equal lefts. They both need to work on resolving disputes without physical or mental aggression.

dcurzon

All these men concerned about women attacking them must run with a much more violent crowd than me.

Equality has nothing to do with common sense. Jesus, the things that come out of people's mouths these days worry me, So because I want to have equal rights as men, I also need to be okay with them beating me up?

hmmm... i think you may have just read the bits you wanted to.

Its NOT ok for anyone to go around beating anyone up. However, if you were to come at me aggressively, i wouldnt hesitate to use a suitable measure of force to block, defend, restrain or whatever was needed. If you dont like that, then dont be the aggressor. it really IS that SIMPLE.

ETA: you might be really tough and kick the snot out of me, who knows? lol

hanniejong

NO it is NOT OK now or anytime for someone to get physical in anger. I have been there and I would not put up with it again!!!!

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

no one has the right to hurt or abuse anyone. she should leave him now before he gets worse.

shoshi68

Nope. Not okay.

invisibubble

We're only reading one side of it, and that's third-hand, we don't know exactly what was said, what was done, or what was going through either of their heads. He didn't hit or hurt her as far as I read, so I don't see the massive red flag.
People wouldn't freak out like this if it was a man saying his girlfriend had done this.
It could be a very bad sign indeed, but it could also be harmless. We weren't there.

auntdeedee87

All these men concerned about women attacking them must run with a much more violent crowd than me.

Equality has nothing to do with common sense. Jesus, the things that come out of people's mouths these days worry me, So because I want to have equal rights as men, I also need to be okay with them beating me up?

hmmm... i think you may have just read the bits you wanted to.

Its NOT ok for anyone to go around beating anyone up. However, if you were to come at me aggressively, i wouldnt hesitate to use a suitable measure of force to block, defend, restrain or whatever was needed. If you dont like that, then dont be the aggressor. it really IS that SIMPLE.

ETA: you might be really tough and kick the snot out of me, who knows? lol

I'm not saying you shouldn't do what you could to keep me away from you or protect yourself, but a counter-attack is unneccesary. That's what I'm saying.

There are men who are in the school of thought, well, if women want everything to be equal, then if you should hit me, I'm just gonna hit back.

I'm not trying to justify violence, in fact I hate it, but I'm just saying two wrongs don't make a right and it's not a 2+2=4 issue.

jetscreaminagain

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

Wrong. and to the OP's question, it is time for her to leave the relationship.Period and done.

DevanEve

So with this... if she was coming at him very aggressively, like about to hit him, then pushing is one way to get the girl off of himself but normally what I see is the guy just restrains the girl so the situation can come back down a couple of dials. As far as him pushing her head afterwards... f*** that.

If I was coming at my boyfriend (we've never been physically violent with each other) and he pushed me off of him in anger I would probably realize that I started that part. But if he pushed my head after I stopped trying to physically attack him then it's go time. Because that right there isn't okay.

dcurzon

So with this... if she was coming at him very aggressively, like about to hit him, then pushing is one way to get the girl off of himself but normally what I see is the guy just restrains the girl so the situation can come back down a couple of dials. As far as him pushing her head afterwards... f*** that.

If I was coming at my boyfriend (we've never been physically violent with each other) and he pushed me off of him in anger I would probably realize that I started that part. But if he pushed my head after I stopped trying to physically attack him then it's go time. Because that right there isn't okay.

taking this example, shouldnt he be dumping you for attacking him in the first place?

DevanEve

So with this... if she was coming at him very aggressively, like about to hit him, then pushing is one way to get the girl off of himself but normally what I see is the guy just restrains the girl so the situation can come back down a couple of dials. As far as him pushing her head afterwards... f*** that.

If I was coming at my boyfriend (we've never been physically violent with each other) and he pushed me off of him in anger I would probably realize that I started that part. But if he pushed my head after I stopped trying to physically attack him then it's go time. Because that right there isn't okay.

taking this example, shouldnt he be dumping you for attacking him in the first place?

That is also very true. We haven't been physically violent with each other (if we're really upset we just take a walk to cool off) but I'm pretty sure even if it got to that point we would just call it quits. I was just trying to relate to the original post.

dg730

He sounds like a puss.

jjscholar

I maybe a bit old fashion, but it is never OK for a man to be physically violent against a woman...