Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?

new2canada

I was just wondering,my friend was telling me that her boyfriend has a terrible temper and the other day when they were arguing, he pushed her really hard, she said she was coming towards him and that was his reaction. She was then sitting down and they were still arguing, he then came towards her and pushed her head.
I personally don't think that's normal and wouldn't accept that behaviour but she seems to think that she provoked him and it was her fault. Meanwhile, their fight was about an ex girlfriend who sent him a package and now lives in the same country which he didn't mention to his girlfriend.

This all seems very strange to me, what do you think?

Dub_D

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

TylerJ76

No.

LizL217

Not OK in my book. Adults can settle their disagreements with words, there's no need for that kind of behavior. Especially that he even got up and pushed her when they were sitting... pushing someone away when they are coming toward you in order to create distance is one thing, but going up to someone in order to hurt them is an act of aggression.

n0ob

didn't read the pushing her again part...

Dbag move.

IronDame

Pushing is better than punching.

Zomoniac

Probably not acceptable, but without knowing the exact context of what was being said, her tone and body language as she approached and so on then it's hard to give an accurate response. Him hitting her and him pushing away somebody walking over to him looking like they're about to punch him aren't the same thing.

new2canada

She was just going to hug him she said

Dub_D

She was just going to hug him she said

I don't buy that. Who goes in for the hug in the middle of an argument?

Momma_Grizz

Provoked or not (and the 2nd push on the head does not sound provoked) - definitely not acceptable behavior! Been there, done that and will NEVER EVER go through that again! :grumble:

magj0y

She was just going to hug him she said

I don't buy that. Who goes in for the hug in the middle of an argument?

^^
I can understand an immediate reflex when someone is coming at you, but pushing her head? To me, it's a red flag. If they've had serious arguments before that didn't result in this behavior, I'd town it down to a pink flag.

auroranflash

It might be slightly understandable if she was coming AT him aggressively - I've known girls who can get very physical during arguments, which is just as wrong as a guy doing it. But even then there are better ways to handle it. Any physical altercation between a couple needs to be seen as a huge red flag.

Should not be tolerated or condoned. If both parties have tempers and act out aggressively, they need to either commit to therapy immediately or not be together. Seen it too many times. A relationship cannot thrive if there is fear, oppression or violence.

toomuchbootyindapants

ohhh hail naw - funk that. She shoulda kicked his *kitten* right then and there. If a guy pushes me with anger in his eyes - he'd betta know I am coming after him with all my crazy, psycho pent-up anger issues ready to explode all over his family jewels. Or sumpin' like that. heh
Now if he pushed me down on the bed, ya know, as a prelude to something fun...well, then that's a game changer.

wolverine66

even if the first push was justifiable (only they know really) - the second one certainly was not in the way that is described here

ahviendha

Not normal. Not cool.

I would say it's not normal for the gf to push the bf as well.

Lift_This_

Now if he pushed me down on the bed, ya know, as a prelude to something fun...well, then that's a game changer.

only kind of pushing i like.

HotMummyMission

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

Would you rather him push her or punch her he would of push her out of his way because she got him wound up I tend to get a push every now an again when I get in his face because I o he won't hit me hahah

Heather_Rider

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

n0ob

so who's risking a strike here and posting the falcon punch gif?

mynameiscarrie

I think that if women are going to fight like men, they should be treated as such. But that is probably just me... the first push seems warranted...the second, no. But if I saw a girl come at her boyfriend ready to fight and he pushed her out of the way, then good for him.

I will say that, unless a woman physically attacks a man, there's no reason to lay a hand on her.

ETA: I also don't think it should escalate. I'm don't support abuse, obviously, but it's stupid that women can hit men but if a man pushes a woman to get her off then he's the bad guy

clrrrr

She was just going to hug him she said

I don't buy that. Who goes in for the hug in the middle of an argument?

I buy it. My boyfriend and I have a really strong physical connection and sometimes if we're arguing and I feel like I'm losing him (or vice/versa) I'll try to touch him or hold him to remind us both of why we're together. He does the same thing. It's like a trigger.

Edit to say: this is NOT acceptable on his part, in my opinion. It might not be a punch, but violence is violence. Totally not okay. Doesn't make him a bad person and I'm not saying she should leave him or anything, but he for sure was in the wrong.

jmc0806

nope...sounds like he has some issues if she was sitting there and he went over to push her

mareeee1234

Not okay! And he's doing it as a defensive behaviours cause he knows that he is in the wrong with the whole situation with the ex gf....
No violence should be tolerated. If he is like that now, it could only get worse in the future and/or marriage :ohwell:

HunterKiller_wechange

he should have done the job properly and just knocked her out!

Seriously though. No its not acceptable.

Dub_D

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?

BaconMD

His ex lives in the same country?!?! INTOLERABLE!

Marksman21

Unless it is in defense or extreame situations, a gentleman should NEVER lay a hand on a woman aggressively for any reason. Sure, it may sound a bit oldschool, but there is some grains of virtue in old manners. A woman should be respected like everyone else, but on a rule for men, don't treat them like a punching bag like you do the rest of your 'buds'.

endureandpersist

NO, NOT OK!

Yukongil

if you have a terrible uncontrollable anger, the only time its acceptable to push a loved one is when you are trying to save them from the rocket attack launched by a government hellbent on your destruction and uncarring for any collateral damage caused in their attack on you. It is then also okay to throw a city bus (empty of course) at the offending aircraft that launched said attack.

Otherwise, no, it's not okay.

n0ob

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

I'd say I'm well above average on the "can take care of myself" scale, and my wife could inflict serious harm on me if she went into a full bore attack on me. Not saying she would, but I think a not so gentle (not saying full force here) would be warranted to protect myself without physically harming her.

Countryboy_

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.