Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?
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It is NEVER OK to put your hands on someone, period. And It's NEVER OK to strike first, even if you feel threatened. Legally, the court would side with your friend because to the judge, it;'s all about who hit first
In Scotland it's actually about a 3 step test and whether the force you responded with was deemed acceptable for the situation. So even if she never hit him, but came at him aggressively and with intent, merely pushing her away would not be abuse but self defence.
Yeah all the people quoting the 'law' and saying it's legally assualt and blah de blah are irritating me - #lawstudentproblems.0 -
ohhh hail naw - funk that. She shoulda kicked his *kitten* right then and there. If a guy pushes me with anger in his eyes - he'd betta know I am coming after him with all my crazy, psycho pent-up anger issues ready to explode all over his family jewels. Or sumpin' like that. heh
That's terrible advice0 -
I think that if women are going to fight like men, they should be treated as such. But that is probably just me... the first push seems warranted...the second, no. But if I saw a girl come at her boyfriend ready to fight and he pushed her out of the way, then good for him.
I will say that, unless a woman physically attacks a man, there's no reason to lay a hand on her.
ETA: I also don't think it should escalate. I'm don't support abuse, obviously, but it's stupid that women can hit men but if a man pushes a woman to get her off then he's the bad guy0 -
only if it is out of the way of a falling piano or a moving car!0
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Hayle to the nah!!! It's never okay!0
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He sounds like he is an aggressive bully. She should leave him and not go back. Very few excuses for a man to push a woman. But coming up to her and pushing her head is a nasty, brutal act.
Maybe he can fix himself but she shouldn't stay because he will probably "up the ante" now that he's done that.0 -
That's called abuse and she shouldn't tolerate it. NO ONE has the right to put their hands on another person, guy OR girl.0
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Unless he is physically threatened or in danger, it's NEVER okay. If a person is bigger and stronger, they always have the option of leaving.
Really like your answer RoadDog. You sound like a real man! Not many men have reason to fear a woman. They can just step out of the way and leave the situation. Now if she has a gun in her hand..all bets are off!0 -
From some of these replies you can tell the people who have NEVER been in an abusive relationship.0
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God help the man that ever pushes or strikes one of my daughters. That is all.
My husband read that and said, "Right on!" :glasses:
OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.0 -
I'd also like to add... I had a bf when I was about 14, we were pretty serious for that age. I used to hit him over the head with books and once stabbed him in the leg with a pair of scissors because he pissed me off so much. (Yes, I know I had major issues.) But, even though I did those things, he never retaliated. I have to give him serious credit for holding himself together, because I'm sure many men would have just instinctively backhanded someone for stabbing them in the leg, or worse...0
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If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!
I am all for men hitting back, but they don't hit first. She approached aggressively because there is no other way to approach when argueing. The only acceptable reactions to it would be to leave the situation, stand his ground or meet the approach. Anything more is wrong.0 -
Pushing leads to punching...
First-hand experience.0 -
I think that if women are going to fight like men, they should be treated as such. But that is probably just me... the first push seems warranted...the second, no. But if I saw a girl come at her boyfriend ready to fight and he pushed her out of the way, then good for him.
I will say that, unless a woman physically attacks a man, there's no reason to lay a hand on her.
ETA: I also don't think it should escalate. I'm don't support abuse, obviously, but it's stupid that women can hit men but if a man pushes a woman to get her off then he's the bad guy
and regardless of gender, an adult resorting to violence in expressing their anger or frustrations is never cool. i dont care if it's girl on girl, girl on guy, guy on girl or guy on guy. they are all equally wrong IMO.0 -
The first time it happened- His fault.
Anytime after that- meh.
If she's accepting the behavior, whether it's right or wrong doesn't matter.0 -
Really NO ONE should be pushing or hitting in a relationship BUT I just want to address the whole 'men shouldn't hit women' thing..
If -I- come at ANYONE in aggression then -I- am fully prepared to get 'moved' - not punched in the head..just 'moved'. I have been in an abusive relationship too - he put my head through a window..I clocked him upside the temple so hard he passed out - then I left.I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!lol nice to see a woman that lives in the real world.Yea, I was taught and have passed this along to my daughter - dont' start a fight with a man, acting like a man and think you won't get hit back like a man.
I am no one's 'punching bag' and I definitely do not expect anyone to be mine.. I'm a big woman (even when I am skinny) If I were to 'attack someone' (can't see this happening but who knows?) then regardless of man or woman I would expect them to defend themselves and any man who walked away would find out what landing on his face after being kicked in the balls felt like..Don't try the 'chivalry thing' and say ' I can't hit a woman' cause THIS woman will have NO problem hitting you.I don't start trouble and then expect to not be dealt with in the same manner. Of course I also don't hit my boyfriend and he would never hit me either (smart guy).I am all for men hitting back, but they don't hit first. She approached aggressively because there is no other way to approach when argueing. The only acceptable reactions to it would be to leave the situation, stand his ground or meet the approach. Anything more is wrong.
This ^^0 -
Is it OK to have an IQ above room temperature, because I feel like I'm in the wrong forum?0
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OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.
Not defending his actions, as they were wrong, however the second action does not affirm what the intentions of the first one were.
A woman shoots a man in the face. To defend himself he rushes her and tries to tackle her.
He barely makes it through surgery but lives. When he sees her in court he's overwhelmed with anger and rushes her again and tackles her.
But because he did it the second time, OF COURSE his life wasn't in danger the first.
Get a clue.
The guy should've walked away. They should probably seek counseling and/or she should consider leaving him.
Saying 'oh well that would never happen to me, I would've fought back' is HORRIBLE advice. We don't know much about the situation beyond that one event (particularly the size and skill of the guy). If that stupid Jennifer Lopez movie were real life and she trained in kick boxing for a couple months, she would've been killed.
Leave the situation, seek help.0 -
God help the man that ever pushes or strikes one of my daughters. That is all.
My husband read that and said, "Right on!" :glasses:
OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.
When I quoted you I specifically referred to the phrase whoever hits first. I was not talking about this specific incident as your post seemed to be broader than that.
I do have a clue. I am very familiar with our criminal justice system.0 -
Whoa, stop. This is absuse, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Your friend is the classice abus-ee; my mom and older sister went through this with their husbands. It is NEVER ok to hurt someone out of anger, male or female. There is NEVER an excuse, it is NOT NORMAL in any way whatsoever. The moment she starts making excuses for him, that is the worst, bc most likely she will never leave him and let it continue. Unfortunately you cannot talk to or reason with most women like this bc they are co-dependent and are not strong enough to leave the guy on their own.
It is up to you what to do, but my advice is to have a serious sit down discussion with your friend, explain to her that this is unacceptable and she needs to leave the guy immediately. If she won't do it, there is nothing else you can do, and I would suggest you disconnect yourself from her. If the abuse gets worse and she continues to stay, and you stay her friend it will eventually start to tear you down as well. Trust me, I have been through this myself.0
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